From: owner-support-system-digest@smoe.org (support-system-digest) To: support-system-digest@smoe.org Subject: support-system-digest V7 #179 Reply-To: support-system@smoe.org Sender: owner-support-system-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-support-system-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk support-system-digest Wednesday, December 1 2004 Volume 07 : Number 179 Today's Subjects: ----------------- [support-system] One Less Thing . . . [TitleTK@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004 19:18:36 EST From: TitleTK@aol.com Subject: [support-system] One Less Thing . . . When I was a sophomore in college I really wanted to be cool and hip and went to Tower Records and bought three albums, Lucinda Williams Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, Erykah Badu's Live album and Liz Phair's Exile in Guyville. Looking back on it now, Lucinda Williams seems an odd choice for a young male in Philadelphia wanting to be hip, but I digress. I think I was going by some list of important female artists I saw on VH1 or something like that. I remember getting back to my dormroom and popping all three in my cd player and pressing random. My roommate and I sat around listening to them while we played board games and smoked pot and drank forties of beer. My roommate and I did this a lot. I wish I still could. Anyway, I don't remember thinking much about anything we were hearing. I remember Liz Phair sounding really gross. I mean, I was from the suburbs of Rhode Island, what the fuck did I know? In fact, I think I actually tried to turn it off at one point, but my roommate said he liked it so we kept it on. Strangely, I don't think I ever took it out of my CD player for the next three years. To say that Exile in Guyville was my life is an understatement. I didn't know the names of the songs (for the longest time I thought Flower was called Strange Loop). I would listen to it constantly, before parties, before class, on trains, on subways. I would wait for my roommate to leave and then I would turn it up real loud and play air guitar and pretend I was singing along with Liz Phair. Oh ya, boys and girls, I was hip. Eventually I bought Whip-Smart and sometime later Whitechocolateeggspace. I made three mix tapes which collectively had every song from the major albums on it. I most have drove my friends crazy. Any chance I had I would throw this into their faces and say "listen to this." But none of them ever really did. Though the one and only time I dropped acid a bunch of us were in my room and I put on Shatter and I remember everyone started to cry. I'll never forget that. I don't put much stock in drugs or the people that do them, but that was a moment I'll never forget. Eventually I joined this list and had many lively discussions and arguments with you all. Oh what fun we all had. I guess many would find something like arguing about rock 'n' roll frivolous or nerdy. But come on, you know you love it. We're all a bunch of nerds deep down. I bought a lot of other CD's, too. I really got into The Pixies and Tori Amos. The day I turned 21 I took a cab up to a part of Philadelphia I'd never been to before and saw a "secret" Breeders concert. It was in this really shady part of town and when I got inside I was eyed by almost everyone because I looked really young. I sat at the bar and ordered a beer and listened to the soundcheck. There was only like twenty other people there and we all sat around speaking in hushed voices about music and The Breeders in particular. This was just before TitleTK came out and nobody knew what to expect. People had beachballs and were throwing them all over the place. I was standing literally right in front of Kim Deal. I couldn't believe it. She leaned down and I lit her cigarette. I lit Kim Deal's cigarette! I was so fucking cool. That year I saw The Breeders 25 times. I followed them around. Kim and Kelley started recognizing me. As did all of Imperial Teen (who opened for them). In Philadelphia, Kim pointed me out and she and Kelley sang "It's getting hot in here" b/c they knew their biggest fan (re:me) hated it. In New York City, a big mosh broke out during Saints and I got punched. I made sure everyone noticed my bruise. In Las Vegas, my "new" roommate and I got stranded in a part of town where no cab would come. So after the concert we sat on a curb with some other fans and drank Schlitz beer and talked about music until the sun came up. Don't get me wrong, I still loved Liz Phair more than anything . . . and this is about the time "Take a Look" surfaced on the list. I remember wanting to puke when I heard it. I mean, come on, I just spent a year following The Breeders around with their new, totally stripped down album. I got punched for christssake! "Take a Look" was the antithesis of what I was about. The summer I graduated from college, the new album came out. And even though we had heard most of it already, I was excited. I even got the signed copy that some nice person on this list alerted me to. I was totally torn about it. I sort of liked it. But not really. Eventually I just stopped caring and started listening to a lot of Tori Amos. I got really depressed. Who wouldn't? I had no idea what to do with my life and was living with my parents and Liz Phair had just released this shitty album and here I was in my room listening to "Silent All These Years" again and again. I knew I wanted to be a writer. I had written a book of short stories that won some contest and they gave my $5,000 for it. I had nothing to do one weekend so I packed up my stuff and moved to Chicago b/c that's where Liz Phair was from and Liz Phair changed my life even if she did write shitty music now and I was pissed off at her. Eventually I saw Liz Phair while I was living in Chicago. I saw her all three nights at the Metro. This was before she started wearing a headset. The concerts were full of frat boys and little kids. Liz was okay. A little blah. I hated her band. But she does have this thing where it always seems like she's looking at you. That was kind of cool. This list was very active at the time. And very angry. We were split b/w those who loved the new album and those who despised it. It made my head spin. I eventually signed off the list. I forgot about Liz. When she came to the vic when chilly Chicago evening I vowed not to go see her. All day I walked around saying, I'm not going to see Liz Phair. I'm not going to see Liz Phair. I went to see Liz Phair. I paid $100 to a scalper and got right down in front (the only place to be). It had been months since I had given Liz any thought whatsoever and even as I stood their drinking my Guinness I don't really remember looking forward to the show. There was a young high school couple next to me and I was chatting with them for a while. I asked what they thought of the new album and they said "what new album?" They didn't know Liz Phair had released anything else but "Liz Phair." Oh well. The concert was okay. Not as good as when I saw her in New York when she played Explain it to me at random, but good nonetheless. The headset didn't bother me. I still have the setlist from the show. But I really didn't care about Liz Phair anymore. I didn't even bring her CD's with me when I moved. She just wasn't a part of me anymore. I lived in Chicago exactly a year. And you know what? Liz was right. I liked Chicago but it's not a very nurturing place for artists. I understand why people like it there, but after a while you want to be around other artists so you move to New York or LA. I didn't move to either. I moved to New Orleans. I visited New Orleans once and I liked it so I moved here. It's okay. It's no better or worse than any other place. I think you need to be in love to really love where you live. A couple weeks ago, for no apparent reason I went out and bought all four Liz albums and listened to them all in sequence. You know what's odd? I don't really "get" EIG anymore. Oh, I still think it's brilliant. Maybe the best album ever. I appreciate it. But I'm not angry anymore. And despite what you say, EIG is an angry album. When I loved it, when it was a part of me I was very young (I'm still young, but I feel old) and very angry, I had a variety of lovers and I always thought they were trying to dick me over. Looking back on my relationships I was probably just being childish. But now when I sing along to "6'1''" I no longer feel it deep down inside of me. I'm no longer proud that I know exactly when to say "ya" because I figured that out three years ago and nobody cared then and nobody cares now. It made me very sad, that this piece of art didn't stay with me. And I thought, you know, this is probably how Liz Phair feels too. It's like, I know it's great and I know why people love it because at one time it was me, it was who I am. But it's not me anymore. And I started to feel genuinely sorry for Liz Phair. That she's kind of stuck. Where does she go from here? She can't write this lo-fi stuff anymore. She didn't succeed as a pop artist. Does she have anything else to say? Does anyone care anymore? So I signed back on to the list to find out. And from the lack of discussion it looks like maybe nobody does. Maybe that's not a bad thing. I read an interview in Spin where Liz Phair said maybe it's time her old fans move on. Maybe that's true. It is a little like losing a lover. And as time goes on you find yourself laughing that you cared so much. But I did care. And Liz Phair will always be apart of my subconscious. And everyone once in a while I'll listen to the albums and remember the times I had. But that's it. Anyway, I bought the new Fleetwood Mac album the other day. Is it bad to like Fleetwood Mac? Tell me if it is and I'll throw it away. But I kinda like it. I also bought the double album reissue of Sonic Youth's Dirty. I used to love that album. It's kinda loud. God, I'm getting old . . . I have no idea why I just told you all this. james "Now I'm lining up six or seven good jobs/my hair's looking great and my friends are all snobs/but I don't have my man and I don't have my dog and I don't have very much fun/and that's one less thing on my mind." ------------------------------ End of support-system-digest V7 #179 ************************************