From: owner-stillpt-digest@smoe.org (stillpt-digest) To: stillpt-digest@smoe.org Subject: stillpt-digest V4 #15 Reply-To: stillpt@smoe.org Sender: owner-stillpt-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-stillpt-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk stillpt-digest Sunday, February 10 2002 Volume 04 : Number 015 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: b/state of [Kathleen Dalton-Woodbury ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 09 Feb 2002 17:12:03 -0700 From: Kathleen Dalton-Woodbury Subject: Re: b/state of At 01:26 PM 2/7/02 -0800, you wrote: >Yes and no. _Why_ Willow kept going back to magic when she knew it was >hurting her was shown very well, a much less difficult task because, until >the car crash, Willow didn't hate herself for it. But why Buffy keeps >_going back_ to Spike when she hates herself that much isn't clear to me at >all. Sex addiction has a different dynamic than drug addiction (the latter >of which is clearly the model for magic addiction). We have an escalating >dissonance between the Buffy who cries in self-loathing in Tara's lap and >the Buffy who is now so at ease with Spike that they have casual >post-coital chats. [snip] >Perhaps, though as a final scene with an unexpected cadence it's obviously >a copy of a couple of similar final scenes with Spike - the one a year or >so ago on her porch when he first pats her on the back, and the one early >this season in which she told him, "I think I was in heaven." Each of >these works individually, but do it too often and it becomes a gimmick. I submit that "I think I was in heaven" may be the crux of the whole question. Buffy's relationship with Spike may appear to be a parallel addiction to Willow's addiction, but I think what Joss is showing with Buffy is something closer to the situation a woman finds herself in when she stays in an abusive relationship. 1) Buffy has not had great success with relationships up to now. 2) Buffy died and went to heaven, but she was not permitted to stay. Hence, Buffy believes, deep down inside, that she isn't worthy, that she doesn't deserve a true, loving relationship, and so she is punishing herself by letting Spike do "all those things" to her. She has been hurt so many times (not just in love, but in being kicked out of heaven) that she is numb to honest, simple feelings and the only way she thinks she can feel is by being hurt more. I see Buffy's situation as very similar to self mutilators, who cut themselves or pull out their hair and so on. I don't really know why Joss is making it look like Buffy's situation is parallel to Willow's addiction because Buffy is self-destructive in a different way from what you might call "normal" addictions. Maybe it's just another way for him to confuse us? Phaedre/Kathleen workshop@burgoyne.com ------------------------------ End of stillpt-digest V4 #15 ****************************