From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V2 #15 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Thursday, December 24 1998 Volume 02 : Number 015 Today's Fjordian Filings: ----------------- yes, everybody cares about you fat crisis! Vwbugn5890@aol.com on being a big fat load ok, now i have to cry weird ass advertising and felicitations Re: fat crisis! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1998 05:14:35 PST From: "Summer B" Subject: yes, everybody cares about you Hola all (: I had *everything* to do today, but yet, I still found time to go to the CD store. What did I buy? I bought XO AND The Boy With The Arab Strap. I can not tell you how long I've been looking for a Belle & Sebastian album for...but I *finally* found one! And I must say, I love them both, although I prefer Elliott Smith at the moment. You people have the best musical taste, and without you...I'd still be so oblivious to the fact that there are so many amazing bands out there! Thank you for all your Top Album suggestions! I also got Bathhouse Betty for my mum...just like someone else out there...(was it Jez? I swear, I have amnesia...and I'm only 17) is this another 'double life'?! Oh well...Bette Midlers version of Boxing is weird...I didn't really like it. But my mum did, so I guess that's good (: And, anyone in Aussie Land...don't forget to watch Carols By Candelight on Thursday night...and look out for me playing the violin...I *might* wear silver tinsel around my head...if I feel like looking like more of an idiot than I already am. So yeah. And everyone, I hope you have a really really merry chrissy, and I'll be sending heaps of positive vibes out to your sister-in-laws way, Anne. Toodles! ~Kel a k a SumMaBeE P.S - Stacy, do you dig Almost Here by Unbelieveable Truth?! I hope you do... cause I love it (: "I can't write and spell at the same time" ICQ# 4321387 ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1998 11:07:38 -0500 From: Jessica Brandt Subject: fat crisis! Erg, happy holidays y'all! I'm on an SNZ mailing list...and thanks to my experience with this and other fine BFF lists, I run those kids ragged with my bourgening sources of information. I've got them wrapped around my finger. Look for me to be on the cover of the next SNZ album... So my best friend asked me to be the maid of honor at her wedding. Well, more like my best friend's fiancee, but we won't get into the logistics of this tri-relationship. Anyhoo, I asked "who else will be in the bride's party?" and she mentioned this girl Jen that we both know, and i gave it some thought and said "holy crap, i am NOT going to stand between you and Jen.." you see, both Cathy (the bride) and Jen are about 5'6" maybe 125# with blonde hair and no breasts. Then there's me....really fat and tall with wild curly brown hair and an okay set of tits....I mean, for god's sake.... So i have about a year and a half to either lose weight or decline to be in the wedding. But for about 5 years now i've known i was going to be her maid of honor (I set the bride and groom up in 10th grade) so i've had time...but i don't know....I am one of those folks who will never, EVER be thin..... I see the groom's family as being "look at those two boring skinny chicks next to rockin' jessica" and the bride's family as feeling very uneasy looking at ME. I mean, i like being fat. fat rocks. I've always been fat and I am actually way happy. But this is just insane. i mean, why do those girls ahve to be so SKINNY??? Argh. i don't know... Jess *********************************************************** "Boy, get that stockin' outta your mouth."- Tom Maxwell * --+-READ THE SHRUBBERY-+-- * http://www.theshrubbery.prohosting.com --New Every Month- -Humor, Music, News and More-- *********************************************************** ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1998 12:20:09 EST From: F2G2@aol.com Subject: Vwbugn5890@aol.com i used to be up over 1000, but my musical tastes evolved some, and i sold off chunks of my collection to purchase new material. i believe i'm in the 5-or-600 cd range now........ how can someone fault someone else for wanting to hear music almost all the time? matthew ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1998 18:30:23 -0500 From: Dan Cohen Subject: on being a big fat load Jessica. I, too, have been afflicted all of my life (well, most of it, anyway) with that affliction known as being a chunk o' beef. I'm currently 5'9", weighing 198 lbs. There's nothing wrong with it, either. My two best friends are quite tall and lanky, and I'm this big fat shit in between them. I guess you have to be yourself. I have to wear a tuxedo every month for chorale, and my ass is quite noticeable and all. I used to be very self-conscious about it, but then it's like, hey. Nobody says anything. There are bigger, fatter shits than me. And I'll be damned if I don't look sharp in a suit jacket. I guess what I'm trying to say is that as big and fat as you may be (and from what my Infinite-Wisdom-o-Meter tells me about women and weight, it's probably not that bad after all), you're still you, and you wouldn't have been invited if she didn't regard you as a good friend. So don't worry about losing weight at all. Be the best goddam fat-ass you can be. Get really drunk and pick up some randy nerd named Melvin. Lead a conga line to the sounds of "Pick Up The Pieces" by Average White Band and the other gems of the Millennium Funk Party compilation that are sure to light up the evening. Don't let something that doesn't seem to stand between you and your friendship ruin your chances at a wonderful experience. - -Dan ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1998 20:57:25 EST From: Vwbugn5890@aol.com Subject: ok, now i have to cry Elizabeth - i wish i could follow orders, but unfortunately there will be no rufus for me on christmas :( i swear if i do not get to meet the urge i will have to cry because that will be too many disappointments this christmas. why couldn't rufus come any day but christmas? even the day after christmas or the day before christmas. why does it have to be on a feckin holiday?? i am very upset about this. atleast i will get to see him on TV, like that makes up for it. Jez - i've found that sometimes it's best not to date people with names like kirby :) my mom thinks i'm addicted to buying cds too. everytime she gives me money for something she's like now dont' go buy cds with this. too bad i do. i don't eat lunch so i have money to buy cds. i'm starving myself to buy cds, it's awful. i need a new tower, mine's overflowing at the moment. i bought two today. i got SNZ/Christmas Caravan and J,LC/Magazine. i bought REM/Up last night. SNZ has been playing all day. it keeps me in the christmas spirit. ok, i don't know if i'll post tomorrow, so merry christmas everyone!!! shan "I twist like a corkscrew. The sweetness rising. I drink from the bottle, weeping..." ~ Rufus Wainwright :*( ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1998 23:18:27 EST From: jaedonely@juno.com Subject: weird ass advertising and felicitations Hey all, Anyone else sign up for the calvin klien email thing? I kinda like it, i think its funny.... MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Metta, ~Elisabeth ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1998 00:15:22 EST From: Sandibrady@aol.com Subject: Re: fat crisis! Jess - Why can't you be in the wedding if you don't lose weight? If you're comforable with the way you are then I don't think it should matter. :) I hope you all have wonderful holidays. I have 1 more present to buy and I will be all finished with my shopping. Yippie. I think we may be exchanging gifts tomorrow night (xmas eve) because my mom's working Christmas day (she's a nurse). And since tomorrow is Christmas Eve, it means I will be subjected to one long- ass Christmas Eve Candlelight service at church. Ugh. The one time a year that I am forced to go to church.... Every year I announce I am not going and my mother screams "Sandra Michelle Shorter! You WILL go or you will not get ANY presents! None!" I was thinking that maybe this year I would say "fine, then I won't go. But you won't get any presents either". But it's such a hassle to argue with my mother....and she LOVES to argue, so it seems like not only would it upset her if I didn't go, but the argument about NOT going would thrill her to no end. I think I will take a book. I have done that the last few years and it always seems to work out. I say I will go, but I will not participate. And although it sounds stupid and childish of me, it's really not. I am 24 years old and I find it ridiculous that my mom still insists I go to church with her (and the rest of the family) when she knows I do not believe. So I say if it will make her happy, I will go, but that I do not believe and cannot participate in something I do not believe in. It's sort of like me forcing my mom into going to a Legalize Marijuana rally. Okay....I had to vent. Frock on y'all! Have great holidays. - -Shortcake- ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V2 #15 ********************************