From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V2 #2 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Friday, December 11 1998 Volume 02 : Number 002 Today's Filings: ----------------- hello? hello....? Yay! We're Two! Emotional minefield dancing Re: Happy Birthday, RF!!!! Holy Shyte!!! Happy birthday to you... Happy Berfday, los Files del Rockford! you say it's your birthday happy b-day RF ??? Re: Yay! We're Two! If they follow you oh no! just a quickie.. Re: If they follow you ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 04:05:16 -0500 From: Jessica Brandt Subject: hello? hello....? Okay i need some help. I think that I am becoming non-existant. At least on paper. I am fully aware that i exist in cyber-terms, what with all the e-mail and newsgroups and website activity and whatnot...but on PAPER...i am begining to fade away. Friday Dec. 4th: I had signed up, at least 2 weeks beforehand, to participate in an experiment for the psych. department at Kent State. I'm in a psych class and every psych student needs at least 4 experiment points to pass. I had 3, so i signed up for a 5 pt. one, to get 4 pts of extra credit. still with me? anyway, on the afternoon of Dec 4th, i go upstars in the building i was to do my experiment. I checked the xeroxed signup sheets that were posted to make sure iw as going to the right room at the right time, etc. i wasn't there. not on any of the 5 sheets. I knew i was to be in the 5 point experiment, Dec 4th, at 1 PM, in Kent Hall. Nothing. not even on ANOTHER sheet. So i wigged out, went to the guy who was running the experiment, he gave me a dirty look and told me i wasn't on his sheet. I went to the Psych office, and they couldn't find my name anywhere. i was like "listen, i KNOW i was supposed to be there, i have the info written down, i told my prof. in the class i have right now that i wasn't coming..." so eventualy the girl felt sorry for me and gave me the 1 point i needed to pass. Okay, so i forgot about it. I figured my name (which had been writen in pencil, for i am a pen-o-phobe) was erased and written over in PEN by some idiot who also needed the points. Weds. Dec 9th: i have a dentist appointment to get my braces tightened at 4 PM. classes are over at 2, so i waste time on campus, max out my food card and buy a big lunch (anticipating not being able to eat later) and then finally take the hour long drive to Beachwood during rush hour for my appointment. I get there on time, tell the receptionist my name, and she says: "I'm sorry, you're not scheduled for an appointment today" "WHAT? i have a card at home, with the appointment..an official appointment card..." (only i say it funny cuz i can't talk right) "no i'm sorry. there's someone in there right now with the doctor, in the middle of a 2 hour procedure..." "no, you must be wrong. I KNOW i am supposed to be here, i drove all the way from KENT..." "you're not in the book.." "it's got to be SOMEWHERE!" "let me check your chart" so she checked my chart, and sure enough, there it was..Dec. 9th, 4 PM. But i wasn't in "the book" so basically that meant nothing to be on my chart. I couldn't get the appointment, 3 hours wasted in the whole fiasco, and a whole night which could have been dedicated to finishing my photography final portfolio GONE. i just came home and went to bed at 5 PM cuz i was so..blah. blah. I mean, why stay awake when you don't exist? so...so if you have ever gotten anything from me in writing, via snail-mail, check to see if you can still find it...cuz i think that i am becoming a product of my machine.. Jess *********************************************************** I'm not just naked, I'm Naked for Jesus!!! * --+-READ THE SHRUBBERY-+-- * http://www.theshrubbery.prohosting.com --New Every Month- -Humor, Music, News and More-- *********************************************************** ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 01:03:23 -0800 (PST) From: "Jordan W." Subject: Yay! We're Two! well, well, we made it. the big 0-2. here's hoping for many more volumes of the ol' RF! Fjords ROCK! and a special thank you to Mr. Erik Lyons. without his tireless efforts on our behalf, we wouldn't have anywhere to share our insane antics, our forlorn love lives (although it's getting better), our general inebriated posts, a few posts by people in other altered states (matthew...) , and basically have been able to share in our love of all things foldish. Erik, me and my entire local area thank you SOOO MUCH!! yay for erik. the first rf i received was Vol 1 (duh) ish 161, and wasn't it an interesting experience for a new recruit from the (shudder) MA. Clayton actually posted, we had a thread (whatever happened to threads?) about what bands we liked, people bragged about their trival pursuit abilities, Jay actually posted (are Clayton and Jay still with us?), there was a BFF REVIEW!! wow. we were worried that the boys would ditch Caleb in favour of Brendan O'Brian, Kathyrin said welcome to me... :), carrie posted a long post! that's something i enjoy and that was it. Arn't we a funny bunch. here's a bit of RF trivia, for those really old school RF'ers. Who performed the first post on the RF that wasn't from Erik, and who posted first on Majordomo? Anoop is in da house! yeah, yeah, wordup biatch. wow. i feel like Jon... nice to see you buddy, and thanks for the words of sorrow. You're welcome to join the RF society for the reabilitation of single men back into society. I'm there, i think dan is..., Who else? ummm eric, i think perhaps Spencer and Markus are too. we're going to have a seminar, see? (that was a old joke, anyone remember that?) it will be nice to see all of my fav people posting in the next few days. yay. in other news, taves, i can't see you working in a rug shop. but you still kick ass. and Armidale is still a good place for a teacher.. and Machine Gun Phallatio actually did write those lyrics for Tim. Wild, eh? how many members of the rf are there now? final lineup for the big day out is out tommorow.... i'm so excited. my life is looking good. and i swear, i love you guys* Jordan *you know i'm non threating. i'm too stupid. _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 08:59:06 -0500 From: shirak@umich.edu Subject: Emotional minefield dancing How's this for major idiodicy on my part? Last night, my ex (the bi one who's going out with my best friend) got it into her head that she wanted to watch pornos. Her boyfriend being busy, I have to fill in and keep her company. So we drove up to our local Deja Vu where one of our friends works, and she gets two movies. Of course, she left her wallet in the car, so I paid for them. Then, she remarked that she'd never been to a strip club before, so I paid for her to get in the door, too. Now, keep in mind that I've been riding a involuntary abstinence wave for about six months. We sat down, I gave her some money to tip with, since strip clubs aren't my thing (there's a naked woman dancing in front of you, you can't touch her, she can't touch you, you can't touch yourself, and you give her all your money. That's what Hell must be like.) and we enjoyed the show. After that, we drove back to her boyfriend's room, threw a tape in (by this time, it's like 2:30 in the morning) and watched it. My buddy and her get into a minor squabble for a bit, and I have to play the peacemaker. Finally, the tape finishes, and I stagger on home, it now being 4 in the morning. Plus, not only did I have to get up for work at 7 this morning, I'm going out to a lingerie shop with her today after work. I'm too damned nice for my own good. :P And now for something completely different. I found out the other day that Moxy Fruvous is playing Windsor on the 29th of January, so I'm going to try to make that show. Anyone else planning on making the trip? Talk to you later! Hail Eris! ERIC ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 08:21:51 -0600 From: "Scott Schneider" Subject: Re: Happy Birthday, RF!!!! Happy Birthday, RF! :) Where's the party? The earliest issue I have is #0. Is that like, limited edition or anything? Can I sell it for money? I need money. Bad. > 3. Scott Schneider was a regular poster. Oh, doh, if only I had more time and energy... The new B&S ep rocks, as expected. Run out and get it! And think of poor little Stuart who still has dental styrofoam in his mouth... Scott (probably the only remaining RFer who hasn't yet made a drunken post.) _____________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Scott at http://www.globaldialog.com/~sschneid ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 07:45:12 -0800 From: "Kamp, Marcus S" Subject: Holy Shyte!!! E, why didn't you let us know this milestone was coming?!?!?!?! I can't believe you let us miss it! A whole year...I, too, am a bit misty eyed. Spencer, I can do ya one better (actually 20 better, but who's counting)...I still have Volume 1, Issue 1 (it's on my other computer, or I'd prove it to ya!). No surprise that I was the 1st post on your Issue 21, as I used to be the 1st post on every issue...including Volume 1, Issue 1...oops, that honor belongs to Tina (who hardly ever posts anymore)...course she worked in the same office as E @ the time, so I think she shoulda been disqualified:-). Mine was the 2nd, though, which means you must all bow down before me. In fact, the posts on Issue 001 went in the following order: Tina Me Sarah Titania (who?) Eric (Hail Eris!) Amanda (fellow drummer!) Anne (Shmanne, she ain't no manne) Lance (who?) Harry (?) Chris (?) Emily (where the heck are you?) And that's it!!! 10 meager posts:-)! If any of you w/question marks are still here, speak up now or forever hold my piece...oops!...hold your peace! (For a nostalgic look at our history, check out http://members.tripod.com/~bfflyonz/000.txt and http://members.tripod.com/~bfflyonz/001.txt) Well, a hearty cheers to those of us who were here in the beginning, those of you who came after, and MOST IMPORTANTLY to ERIK, our fearless leader, our ringmaster, our El Capitan, our Herr Direktor, our mentor, and truly...our friend! Happy Feckin' Birthday!!! (Hey, that means the Files are a Sagittarius, too!) ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 11:17:34 -0500 (EST) From: KDEMCAK@WELLESLEY.EDU Subject: Happy birthday to you... To paraphrase a bumper sticker: "I wasn't a born Fjordian, but I got here as fast as I could!" I remember very clearly reading FL's post on the MA about a new list, and thinking I should sign up for that, but somehow I didn't and forgot about it until the Great Fjordian Invasion of '98. So thanks, oh FL, for starting the RF and thanks to all of you who make it such a fun place to be! cheers, Katy ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 15:38:15 -0500 From: Dan Cohen Subject: Happy Berfday, los Files del Rockford! Somewhere, right now, there's an Illinoisan FL wiping a fond tear from his eye...we're old and stuff. OK. Here's my stupidity of the week. We're dancing right now in Performing Arts and my group chose swing dance. This is going to sound like a bad dream to you, but we're all wearing khakis and dancing to "Jump, Jive, and Wail" by the BSO. Noooooo... Today, everyone has the idea that they want to do the flip move in the Gap commercial. Sigh. So, I manage to flip my partner, she lands awkwardly, has a healthy bruise, and so on. It's not pretty, and I don't want to do it. It was pretty funny, though. When we first started thinking about it, I was like, "So, we'll all go buy vintage, right?" And Tricia says, "Gap khakis!" Man, I'm in a nightmare... Luckily, my dog EJ, who is a killer dancer, saved the day, teaching everyone how to actually dance and providing some decent tunes, although in the end we stuck with Setzer. Of course, my partner has two left feet and is six inches shorter than me, but those are the breaks. Wow...Anoop and Spencer within 45 minutes of each other! A record, even! Anoop, I hear you. Women _are_ attracted to dangerous guys; I spent the entire English class yesterday eavesdropping on some girls reviewing pictures their suitors had given them and ranking them. "But I heard his dick was really small..." "Yeah, but look at him!" "He has a great car..." "OK, we'll put him after Ricky.", etc. My advice for you is just to do what I am...become friends with all these girls and keep it at that. They're dating assholes because those assholes are very protective of them (thus, the source of their assholiness) and give everybody else shit because of perceived infringement on the assholes' territory. And the girls like that, for some reason. You, me, and Jordan, among others, we're the "nice guys", I guess; love is there for us but we either don't see it or don't want to be like the assholes who we know. I mean, Olivia and I had a great moment over a rubber penis model in health class Wednesday. Even though I may never get anywhere with her, it was still something we could laugh about. Phew. Was that as incoherent as I think? Oh yes. I suppose I should extend this offer to the RFers. Those of us on the Pit have decided to exchange holiday cards. I'm buying a whole mess of them this weekend, so anyone who wants in post your address. Just for the record, mine is in my sig. Bicky-bye! - -- Dan Cohen Network Techni-whatever, Retail Flunky, Cable Modem Bee-yotch 111 Dexter Avenue Liverpool, NY 13088 http://domaincomingsoon.org UIN: 13907258 ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 14:05:44 -0800 From: exuberantly squishy Subject: you say it's your birthday it's my birthday too yeah. well, it's almost my birthday. saturday... lots of revelry will commence. anyhoo, happy day to the RF for being 1. and many thanks to everyone who has tolerated me at my most verbose and rambling. and intoxicated. we musn't forget intoxicated. i went back and read some archives. my first post was April 7th, just one day after Sara the Fiery Lox introduced herself by sharing a Scott Thompson make-out dream. and there was real honest-to-eris bentent in those issues. Dan.. you can imagin how much i cringed when i read your whole Khakis/JJ&W thing. i damn near banged my head into the table. boo. and speaking of love from the opposite sex.... i have none. quelle shocker. and that would be why my show is called Swing and the SINGLE Girl. always the bridesmaid.... I caught Saint Eitienne last night at the Roxy, and it was a whole lot of fun. i even ran into my friend Andy, who was an old school MAer. ironically, he pulled into the space next to us in the parking lot. meanhwhile i'd just like to express what a bitch it is to park on Sunset Blvd. you have no idea... horrific. anyway, i love you all... stay away from the Egg Nog this season. it may be chock full of Rum, but that doesn't make it any less icky. for the Fjords who are sending christmas/hanukkah/kwanzaa/solstice/some other random pagan holiday that falls near Dec. 25th, you can send any loot (no fruitcake) to me here: Courtney Knopf 2638 Portland St. #202 Los Angeles, CA 90007 In the CD player: R.E.M. - Up Cardigans - Gran Turismo Jump, Little Children - Buzz Afghan Whigs - 1965 Jude - No One Is Really Beautiful Saint Etienne - Good Humour Pink Martini - Sympathique word to your mothers. ~Courtney The Sultraness of Swing "My empire is crumbling!!!!" ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 17:16:44 -0600 From: "Thomas Kluis" Subject: happy b-day RF Just wanted to add my congratulations to the RF and all its members (that's us!) on its milestone. I agree w/Dan, assholiness is directionally proportional to protectiveness. Stay away from those girls who desire to be completely taken care of, because in more cases than not (to my experience) they're slightly off in the head. After some personal issues, I've decided to go back to Morris (the school I transferred away from Fall quarter). I'm really looking forward to it and I hope move smoothly back into things there. I also may be able to go to the Netherlands this summer through a Penn State program on criminal justice. Have any of y'all been there? I'd love to hear stories. Dan & Courtney - I too winced at the amazing coincidence of swing, gap khakis and BSO. It is a sad day in mudville. I did get a chance to check out the Dylan documentary "Don't Look Back". I was moderately impressed. I guess I didn't know what to expect going in, but it was pretty cool. That is all. Tom ICQ #5318480 ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 16:36:46 -0700 From: Stacy Lynn Subject: ??? Re: Yay! We're Two! Wow, very cool. Been around a year, and still going strong. At 01:03 AM 12/10/1998 -0800, Jordan W. wrote: >well, well, we made it. the big 0-2. here's hoping >for many more volumes of the ol' RF! Fjords ROCK! wait a sec... if it has been around for a year, it makes it 1 years old, right? I'm so confused!! Lets see... I didn't join the RF until early June. My 1st post was on June 8... it was regarding Watership down.... rememebr that? Well.. anyway... Lets see.. Since I joined, I met a wonderful guy who has since become my boyfriend... remember I was asking you guys for things to do in NYC? =-) Thats were I met Rey! yup... hmmmm... lets see, since my 1st post, my CD collection has about doubled... (I'm up to 355, I belive. I am insane, and I know it). And lots of other stuff. I remember lots of people who used to post and don't now. And I remember Anoop's first post! And other stuff. Hmmm wanna hear something crazy? I joined the RF when I heard about it through a crazy kid by the name of Jon... who was often accused of taking too much speed... ;-) Definatly a big thanks to Erik. > >the first rf i received was Vol 1 (duh) ish 161, and >wasn't it an interesting experience for a new recruit >from the (shudder) MA. I get it loose mail, I don't get digests... >how many members of the rf are there now? Thats what I wanna know... Unrelated, I saw Fastball last night, it rocked. They got tagged as an MTV band and a one hit wonder cuz of "The Way" but I totally dig their music. They draw influences from so many places, have catchy hooks, great lyrics, nice pop sound, but without simplifying the music. Love them. The cool thing was I got to hang out with them afterwards (I love being inthe bizz.... hehe...) and I chatted to them about the music industry... they said I'd love A&R... and thats what I am going to do! Gave me some names of contacts, etc... Then we just talked about their fave bands and stuff. Some of them really dig Jellyfish and Jason Falkner. It was cool. later gaters, stacy Day comes I wake, I wake with a hard heartache I go down to your place We sit and chat about New York... --Rufus Wainwright "Danny Boy" http://www.u.arizona.edu/~stacyf icq #7641939 ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 17:12:46 -0700 From: Stacy Lynn Subject: If they follow you >Dan & Courtney - I too winced at the amazing coincidence of swing, gap >khakis and BSO. It is a sad day in mudville. I need to take swing lessons again... I only had about 3 of them last year, but its been so long, I totally forgot. =-( I've also got to buy me some good vintage clothes... I only have like 2, and though they are both great and I love them, they aren't swing dresses. > >I did get a chance to check out the Dylan documentary "Don't Look Back". I >was moderately impressed. I guess I didn't know what to expect going in, >but it was pretty cool. If they follow you, don't look back, like dylan in the movies. On your own, if they follow you, its not your money that they're after, boy, its you. most recent purchases: One Amazing Night - Burt Bacherach Tribute The Tories - Wonderful Life Joan of Arc - How Memory Works Jets to Brazil - Orange Rhyming Dictionary Good Will Hunting sndtrk Treble Charger - Maybe Its Me XTC - Nonsuch Beck - Mutations Imperial Drag Joe Jackson - Blaze of Glory Stacy Day comes I wake, I wake with a hard heartache I go down to your place We sit and chat about New York... --Rufus Wainwright "Danny Boy" http://www.u.arizona.edu/~stacyf icq #7641939 ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 21:18:02 EST From: jaedonely@juno.com Subject: oh no! Hey all, (particularly rambling and teenage..hell, this whole week has been like that) I am a new GAP employee. But Im doing it for my discount-and in all honesty, my dad wanted it. I do not wear the GAP-I am not a GAP mall bitch (we all know the type-but its more like Abercromie and Fitch soft porn now=) ) I only wear my catholic school uniform. and my pinstripe pants. and various things in the shade of cranberry. Thank you, that is my personal statement. The GAP khakis ad is a depressing thought. But the Rufus Wainwright one is a happy one, since I would like to marry him. Or at least have him as a really good friend. Actually, the best thing about my brother being gay, I mean, I never see him, he's in CA, but sometimes his boyfriends are so fun-his one boyfriend Ray-we would just sit and have really deep discussions on subjects like Jakob Dylan and dance music. So in the spirit of all things against the oppressive system, I resolve to use my GAP work experience to 1) compulsively watch the Rufus commercial during break 2) use my discount for baa-aaad 3) feel like a suburban mall employee! Anybody else on this list incredibly picky when it comes to clothes? Lately, the only satorial happiness for me has come from Delia's catalouge. But I must admit, when it comes to pants, Ill go anywhere. Altho' I did score a lovely Audrey Hepburn esque vintage black dress from The Garment District (if youre in boston, go there! so fun) and I wore it to school on a dress down day and since it was different some juniors were like, "ooh, she's dressing as a slut" Frickin' uncultured juniors-wouldnt know good music or a classic look if it fell on their head! Funny story- my cool theology teacher, Mr Campos, knows about my big crush on this junior named Chris Kelley, since he has him in class. I was talking to Mr Campos once when he was hall monitor, and Chris Kelley comes out of his class because he had to go to the bathroom. So Mr. Campos is like, "Liz..(hint hint)" and I didnt say anything to him. So when Chris Kelley comes out of the bathroom and picks up his pass, his face is beet red and me and Mr Campos just start LAUGHING as he walks down the hall. The poor kid- that must have been so embarrasing! He knows I like him.... Thanks for reading, Ive been sick, Im verbose. ~Elisabeth "If Congress doesn't pass me, Im gonna DIE" ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1998 19:04:35 -0800 (PST) From: "Jordan W." Subject: just a quickie.. it's all i want. i'm playing on a ISDN, neener. i'm at school and on irc. yey bentent? i'm wearing my kiss my ass shirt. Jordan _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1998 00:16:26 EST From: Sandibrady@aol.com Subject: Re: If they follow you In a message dated 12/10/98 7:33:51 PM Eastern Standard Time, stacyf@u.arizona.edu writes: << Beck - Mutations Imperial Drag >> Hey, my friend Roger plays on both of those albums! Very cool. :) Imperial Drag is great...or was I guess I should say...I'm so glad someone on this list likes them. I have nothing else to add I suppose. Sandi ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V2 #2 *******************************