From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #324 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Thursday, December 3 1998 Volume 01 : Number 324 Today's Filings: ----------------- hey john!!! Check this out!! Ahh, Layoffs!!! operatic conundrum. Oh wonderful Ohio! i know you don't like it........ Who was the original Cleveland Indian? another confrontation... spork? My voice is not straining... Re: i know you don't like it........ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 2 Dec 1998 02:19:00 -0800 (PST) From: "Jordan W." Subject: hey john!!! john. welcome aboard. i'm sure you will fit right in with this group of malcontinents..... what, is the name of god, is this pit all about!!!!! if someone has a good thing going on, i want in! SOMEONE TELL ME!!! i have a proxy to drink at spencer's party! her name's sara, and all you single fjords (and erik) need to leave her alone, or else i will sick on you. she's promised me she'll make it, so yay for me. i'll be their in spirit, if not in flesh. and she's happily in love, so you'll have to not invite her to fleshfest99, I'm there tho, i'll go in her luggage. dan. is the man. he even spelt my last name correctly. he's so cool, and i want to be like him when i grow up...hey, wait up! i already am like him. well, that's strange. you know that dan and anne rhyme. they do. i've got to sing at speech night, and in the Armidale Mall on friday. solo. so yay for me! i'm going to be alone all holidays, as all my friends are either leaving, or going to be with their significant others. oh poo. my mum's putting up her christmas decorations. they rock. she's famous for them. pity it means busloads of japanese tourists invading my personal space. I'm out, someone make me happy, Jordan _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 02 Dec 1998 23:41:44 +1000 From: Jodie Subject: Check this out!! Jordan and Dan, I came across this in a book of mine, and it eerily reminded me of the parallels that your lives seem to take: 'Every human being has an energy field which is not only interwoven with their material physical body but which also extends beyond it. This energy field is made up of our physical radiance and vitality, and is also made up of the radiance of our emotions and thoughts. This energy field, sometimes called the aura, is also created by the reaidance of our general consciousness. Our aura is continually meeting other energy fields and when it meets another field, a wobble or wave is sent through it, like when a pebble falls into water. This vibration then anchors down through the skin into the physical nervous system." So basically you are creating waves for each other, you cease to shine with inner radiance, and the babes pick up on this and are therefore not attracted to you.... If you semi-believe in "hippy crap", try this to stabilise your environment: Take 4 items, which remind you of the four elements - fire, earth, wind and water. Place them in the four corners of your room - bedroom would be best I guess, and leave them there for at least a few hours, but a couple of days would be better. The items could be: *FIRE* candle, oil lamp, red satin. Best results achieved with a form of naked flame *EARTH* salt, rocks, crystals, soil *WATER* glass of water ( subtle or what!!) *AIR* burning incense, feather, fan You should receive results within 30 minutes ( I hope otherwise I will look like a real dick!!) Todays Anne- alisation brought to you by the letters J O D I E and the number 3 *to all those loners out there - sorry to bring up the topic of lurve, but there's hope for us all, I'm sure. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 2 Dec 1998 07:31:30 -0800 From: "Kamp, Marcus S" Subject: Ahh, Layoffs!!! So, my reward for putting my life on hold the last 6 months, working 7-day weeks since October, and working 90-hour weeks starting in January might well be a big, fat pink slip! Thanks, Boeing!!! I love how they make up a new excuse for every new round of layoffs. This time it's the Asian crisis. Last time it was a parts shortage. What is it next time, El Nino? The mystery virus? A blown pass interference call @ the final whistle?! C'mon, Boeing, quit jerkin' around the people who make this company run!!! But enough about me...countdown to Deadly Faerie Tales: any moment now, I promise. You'll be among the very, very 1st to know. I also promise that it's worth the wait:-)! ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 02 Dec 1998 12:32:08 -0500 From: Carrie Subject: operatic conundrum. Chris Van Valen: >Someone asked "why would someone write a horrible song >called "Rub Her Slit!" That's so funny I pretty much just wet myself. I have to change. matthew: >"you know it's a good dinner party when a penis has been sighted by 8.15." What if there's been no dinner? So Friday there's this opera, "Lucia di Lammermoor" playing downtown. A friend of mine (Cleveland singer/songwriter Jann Klose) has a leading role in it. Boyfriend (who introduced me to Jann) will be playing with the Canton Symphony that evening. My roommate will only go if her boyfriend goes, but it will take great convincing to make that happen. Friend Adam might be convinced to take me, but could be dangerously date-like and there is mutual attraction. (I do not want to even remotely screw things up with Jonathan.) None of my other friends would be able to stand the whole "opera" thing. (Does this remind you of a logic puzzle? Make a grid...) I realize the safe answer is "stay home and write your 50 pages of essays that you have due". *sigh* Rub Her Slit! Anne: I've been having REALLY weird dreams. I keep waking up in the middle of the night. Here's a couple that I remember, anyhow. Dream 1: I'm having this weird love affair with this nasty old guy that I used to work with. He's a total schmarmy schmoozy 40-something fellow. We're about to fly away to some Caribbean island together, and at the last moment, I go call my parents from a payphone and leave a message saying, "Mom! Dad! I'm running away to a faraway place with my lover where you'll never find me! I love you both -- Goodbye forever!" I woke in a cold sweat. Ick. Dream 2: [For the first time EVER, a sexual dream about someone I'm actually attracted to.] Jon and I are doing the "love in the afternoon" thing, only in my room (which doesn't happen, as I have a roommate). We fall asleep. I wake up around 5 pm and mention that I've missed two hours of my Monday writing class, so I may as well not go. Jonathan gets up and throws a fit, yelling about how irresponsible I am, and how could I let a thing like that happen. He's about to hit me, when finally, he just gathers his clothes and runs out the door, slamming it behind him. So Anne? How about it? "Oh, I was just theenking of Tony, where he ees, what ees he doing, who he ees weeth, what ees he theenking of, ees he theenking of me?, and eef he will ever return to me one day..." Where's it from, people? Winner gets my highest regard. I have to go to work now. I hate my job. Take care, carrie ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 2 Dec 1998 12:57:43 -0500 From: john_oc@juno.com Subject: Oh wonderful Ohio! Geez...maybe I should watch my mouth. All of this patriotic support for Ohio. I guess, I have it all wrong. Jess, you must realize, I see more of Hudson than any other part, and Hudson is stupid. I am sure I get no argument here. Ohio as a whole is quite nice, 107.9 theEND, whilst I hardly listen to it, is the most pioneering alternative/mainstream radiostation this side of the mississippi. It's playlist gets copied by the rest of the country. We have the Tribe, the only homegrown winner in baseball...no significant free agent does anything for this team...ummm, we will have the Browns soon enough...but enough of my rambling. Ohio is okay...but not for me. Maybe it's not the state, it's me. I'm the loser, not Ohio. John "Close your eyes and you'll see nothing at all or maybe it's everything at once." --Issac Brock, Modest Mouse ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 2 Dec 1998 13:15:02 EST From: F2G2@aol.com Subject: i know you don't like it........ but you fit in like the rising sun. miscellaneous notes. annebling is an art form........... i am a sex-symbol. meg told me i looked like a wasp version of rufus wainwright. here's a question for all you rufus fans........i like certain chunks of his music, yet he seems rather.........uh........effeminate and dubiously androgynous. like most reasonable hetero men of the nineties, i am not too terribly concerned w/issues of bi- and homosexuality. i do like to know where the other person stands, though. so........what's his deal? would i run into him @ the interbelt, drinking mind erasers and dancing w/ thurm and jeremy? also: if'n you like r. wainwright, y'all might check into scott walker. folk singer. bitchin. beth orton and rusted root rock me to a nubbin. tease the fl. (good-naturedly.) he's seeing neil diamond this weekend. annie: thanks for the reminder. i forgot abooot the lightbulb explosives, being so engrossed in my new nightvision goggles. jordan: do not feel so badly, oh alpha geek. example: i was bitching to my friend ira about my life recently, being stressed and more stressed by the impending age of 25. you think you have existential crises now? just wait, mon ami. anyhow, he looks at me for a moment. gives me a hug. "you've got a job that pays your way and allows you to have toys (which is what seperates us from the beasts, by the way) and you have a beautiful and cool girlfriend. you have your head on straight.......usually......... so what else do you need?" he whacks me on the back of the head. "dumbass." now, that's what friends are for, i guess. now i give you the same advice i gave your twin. you don't need anyone else. get happy w/yourself, then you shall find the chiquitas flocking. fill yourself up before you look to others to fill you up. people are made to complement each other..... and if you are an alpha geek, well, you have endless ram to fill. spencer: where's me bloody tape, ya bad-livered feck? dan: football is a pinko commie sport. baseball's where it's at. who do you follow? fear of pop: it's on my list of 'to buys.' right after the sabrina soundtrack. a little bit down from phish's 'story of the ghost.' that's enough out of me, dammit. matthew "dad, why are women so weird?" "they aren't weird. they're wonderfully different." ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 2 Dec 1998 13:23:04 EST From: Jen116nyc@aol.com Subject: Who was the original Cleveland Indian? Just a little baseball trivia during the sad season when baseball is not played. Does anyone know the answer? I probably know more about him than any non-researcher should because I'm writing a paper about him. Now for some Bentent: I have yet to buy Fear of Pop, and I'm afraid to (no pun intended). I really don't want to dislike anything that Ben has written, it will ruin the prefection. So, should I buy it or should I not buy it?! ~Jen ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 2 Dec 1998 17:58:42 EST From: Vwbugn5890@aol.com Subject: another confrontation... of useless information... i love the urge. i'm going to see them dec. 27. how fun...christmas and then a great concert, can't wait! FL - since you seem to come to st. louis once in awhile, you should come check them out. i think you were at pointfest 10, right? what'd you think of them there? dan - i agree that it's best to ask guys stuff rather than trying to guess what they're thinking. however, sometimes it's not so easy to ask. i'm kinda shy and getting the question out is a little hard sometimes. i saw celebrity last weekend. i thought it was really good. the two friends that saw it with me thought it was weird, but i like weird movies like that. i liked the end, it was pretty cool. i don't like kenneth branaugh (sp?) though. is it just me, or does that man have no lips? i didn't see any... i had a stressful afternoon today. i finished two whole pages for the yearbook, which took me like a month to do. and today my teacher looked at it and totally destroyed it and basically told me it sucked. so she changed it all around and i have to do it over. and i have to take some stupid W.Y.S.E test tomorrow. i'm choosing graphic arts over science and english. i'm not sure how one takes a test on graphic arts, but maybe that means it'll be easy :) shan "I'm so sweet like a nice bonbon" ~ Beastie Boys ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 02 Dec 1998 15:52:32 -0800 From: exuberantly squishy Subject: spork? so... Matthew asked about Rufus's orientation. let me tell you, he's not a breeder. he does indeed bat for the other team. though i know quite a few people who would happily try to convert him. me included. but would we love him even if her weren't so terribly swishy? who knows. and speaking of Rufus, I just ordered the Japanese Import of his album that has BONUS TRACKS from CDnow. it's backordered, so i probably won't be getting it until after winter break. but i decided to buy it as a birthday present to myself. which, may i remind you is only 10 days away. This is the first time in my life that i will not be sharing a birthday with the dearly departed Chairman of the Board. but hey! more presents for me! well, i just wanted to let you all know that i have officially decided to leave the film school and change my major to Music Industry. thanks for thsoe of you who were wonderful counselors while i was grappling with the decision. i got an email from a woman on my swing list that was so sweet and encouraging that it made me cry. of course that just could have been PMS. hey, here's somthing odd; i called up Warner Bros. twice today and NO ONE picked up the phone. i'm so confused, i know they've had a big slew of lay offs these past couple weeks, but that's just SO weird. i'm sure they would at least keep the secretaries. oh gosh, we're watching The Birds tonight in Hitchcock. i don't know if i can handle it. and though i know none of you are in my neck of the woods, i wanted to extend a big fat invitation to my bachelorette pad on saturday night for the party to end all parties. endless liquor, canapes, misteltoe, n64 AND a playstation. not to mention our very special red and green martini.... and the twin model/porn stars. so consider yourselves cordially invited. jordan, if you can swing a proxy to this, i'll be very impressed. ~Courtney The Sultraness of Swing "Joey had his reasons. They were three-fold." ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 02 Dec 1998 20:14:05 EST From: jaedonely@juno.com Subject: My voice is not straining... Hey all, Im pretty darn happy. Not only has world of difference week been going gosh darn ok, but tomorrow is swing day at lunch. Yes....the whole school is subjected to my musical tastes, once again. Whoo hoo! Altho' todays tape was admittedly mediocre (as any mix tape would be when youre dong a paper on Louis 14 and your limited to "soundtracks" AND my school does not like Elliot Smith. Musical philistines) So yeah, its the swing tape and after school, Im going to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy do an instore at Tower Records which is cool on many levels 1) out of the 5 times theyve been to Boston this year, Ive narrowly missed them by circumstance 2) I have their debut on Big Bad Records, and theyre going to sign it, dammitt! Bad things- millions of people will be there which may mean, not enough room for dancing, and I may cry... but hey! Im going! Whoo hoo!!! Im tempted to wear my new pants, but theyre gap khakis. Id feel unpure.=) Hell, at least theyre not from the ucky teen store thats getting a rep as a place of steaming and unbridled sexuality, abercromie and fitch. I hate that store. It defines negative media images. More good things 1) David Sedaris' Santaland Diaries(as a play) is showing in Boston, which hopefully is good. 2) possibly go to the rufus show the 14th, if god is with me. Insight-you know what? Lenoard Cohen , altho' I cant spell his name, is such a great poet. Gots to make an 80s tape.... ~Elisabeth Altho' I must admit, for me, the world IS a place of steaming and unbridled sexuality.=) ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 02 Dec 1998 21:55:03 -0700 From: Stacy Lynn Subject: Re: i know you don't like it........ > i looked like a wasp version of rufus >wainwright. >here's a question for all you rufus fans........i like certain chunks of his >music, yet he seems rather.........uh........effeminate and dubiously >androgynous. Dispite the song that his father Loudon Wainwright III (Check him out, GREAT folk singer!) wrote about him "Rufus is a Breast Man" or soemthing to that effect (it was actually about him being breast fed as a baby) Rufus is homosexual. >now i give you the same advice i gave your twin. you don't need anyone else. >get happy w/yourself, then you shall find the chiquitas flocking. fill >yourself up before you look to others to fill you up. people are made to >complement each other..... I will second this. People pick up on the "I am unhappy single" vibe. Not only do you have to act like you are very happy with your single life and would be ok if thats how it was forever, but you actually have to believe it. It is when you least expect it that you meet someone. stacy in the CD player: Grant Lee Buffalo - Jubilee, Sloan - Smeared, The Lightning Seeds - Sense Day comes I wake, I wake with a hard heartache I go down to your place We sit and chat about New York... --Rufus Wainwright "Danny Boy" http://www.u.arizona.edu/~stacyf icq #7641939 ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #324 *********************************