From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #316 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Wednesday, November 25 1998 Volume 01 : Number 316 Today's Filings: ----------------- i don't know much about cinco de mayo [none] Between the horses of love and lust... The shrink is in Bow Down, Infidels It's My Party Re: on the collective unconsciousness: AOL bought my netscape Rufus Wainwright! (no subject) EMERGENY! Courtney's show is on what URL??? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 04:17:47 -0500 From: Dan Cohen Subject: i don't know much about cinco de mayo Wow. I haven't had this many new pieces of maillist correspondence (besides the occasional spam, this is really the only sort of mail I get!) since the last time I went on a northern rampage. Now, Saturday night I am confronted with two choices: 1. Stay in Syracuse, go to the school play, and go to the after-party, which was probably very Jordan-like. This could end in any of numerous ways. 2. Go up north to the place of the broken nose, visit some friends, have a peck of a time. This could end in any of numerous ways. Always the possibility for physical injury. I decided on choice 2, which was probably not the best thing to do in terms of my social life, but I haven't seen my buddies in a while, so off we went. A blast and a half, let me say. I fell off a four-wheeler and mangled my ankle to the point of having to wear an Ace bandage on Monday..yecch. Why do I always injure myself on vacations? Apparently they're keeping me off work tomorrow since it's been slow. Now this only reinforces my major complaint against my boss--that he doesn't give me nearly enough hours. So I mosey on down to CompUSA where my buddy Brian works and he tells me that they're still looking for people. Hmm. I now have an application and am thinking of jumping ship. It would REALLY piss off my boss and he would never refer me positively, but I would get more money. It would also mean that I'd actually get to do something with my time besides sit around and read old magazines and fix the occasional computer. The main topic of conversation at work, naturally, has been the recently opened CompUSA and Best Buy, and I'm acting all negative and shit, but they hammer us in prices. I mean, really. And their selection kills us, too. We don't sell thirty different printers on the floor. Hmm. OK, one last item of note. Swedish Maria and I, like, seriously bonded today. No word yet on where this will go, but apparently she's a snowboarder. This could be cool since I do it every now and then myself. There. That's that. Ginger drunk? Oh dear. But you're underage, and of course underage people don't drink or smoke at all, right everybody? Right? That's what I thought. Spencer- Dude, ICQ is on all the time here. Assume I'm AFK when I'm in n/a mode. I'm getting better about switching to regular mode when I'm actually at the computer, but I can never promise anything... So Court is exuberantly squishy, eh? Don't want to know any more than that, although I'm sure we can all create a mental image. I myself am frothingly misanthropic....it's easy on $60 a week. Now check this shit out, Jordan. That cefadroxil I've been taking (this is amazing shit, really. If you're allergic to penicillin and you're quite sick at some point in the future, see if you can get some of this...it blows the roof off the mutha, etc.) has completely whupped my sinus infection into submission. This also got me a big hug from Amy today for being back from so long. Report cards/transcripts came today too...I am a remarkable 168 out of 680 in my class, remarkable considering I've slacked off so much. My first quarter grades were low, but I get to make up work for English, where I got a 70. Cool. I could push it up from an 84 to a 90 or so if I bs really hard. Anyway, back to being sick. It's a peck of fun to see who comes in on IRC at 10 am or so, and talking to Gina and Leo, ditto. Crazy mofos. I didn't party this weekend, though, obviously, but it sounds like you had a fun time. At least you got some. We're reading Catcher in the Rye now and we got to the bit with the whore today, which elicited a lot of laughs from an AP class. Man, I'm tangential as hell at 4 am. My birthday is January 6. Presents, please, for my nearly-New Year's ass. Like Anne and, it seems, many others, I haven't still gotten FoP. I found it at The Wall tonight but it was $18, and the Cake CD which my friend mercilessly skeefed from my Discman one day (still haven't decided which friend) was $12, so I bought that instead along with a new necklace. Yay jewelry. And I got a new sexy haircut. So there. I'm not sure whether I really want to hear it all for myself, but I'll probably buy it anyway just because I don't have that much of a social life that I could put it off for very long. I totally agree with Mar(c)(k)us...you need to be as open and responsive as possible on this matter. My close friend was raped once and it really affected our relationship for a while. I called her one night and I basically told her I didn't think any less of her and that I still loved her...there's no chance of us ever getting together, and she knows it, but it still meant a lot to us both. We've had our issues since then, but the whole subject of her rape hasn't been part of it. The guy in question basically denied everything and got off, which was a real shame to her, but it was a lot easier to not make it a part of the bond between us as friends and respect her for who she was. It's a case-by-case thing...the only thing that never changes is the need to be a good listener. Spencer, here are more gems from parties I've gone to: "Dude, this movie makes so much sense, it's sick." -while watching "Half Baked" "Check this shit out...if you squint really hard, you can see his grandma's nipple in that picture." "Give it to me, baby...let's get this on before your parents get home."-me to a Cabbage Patch Doll one time while pisser out of my mind on my friend's couch. If you have to ask, you'll never know. "I think I crushed your cat, dude. Either that or my ass grew some big claws overnight." I really think that's it for now. I should grab some sleep before school. Arriverderci, y'all! ~Dan "Now Zeus was a womanizer always on the make but Hera usually punished her that Zeus was one to take..." ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 05:05:34 PST From: "Courtney Knopf" Subject: [none] so dan is up at 4am yet he is not on IRC. interesting. let me explain why my name is "exuberantly squishy." my roommate sarah is a bit quirky. in a very amusing way. the thing is, when we went to see A Bug's Life last month, she just went OFF about how disturbed she is by the big green caterpillar. she just thinks it's way too fat and happy for it's own good. and she hates his terrrible little mitten hands and the fact that it has no nose. what made it even worse, and amused us all the more, was that is spoke with a german accent and was named Heimlich. see, this also disturbs her because she just has issues with german accents. SO anyway... we taunt her about the caterpillar as much as we can. and she was reading the review of the movie in Entertainment Weekly, and the reviewer referred to Heimlich as "exuberantly squishy,' which sent her into fits of spazz. of course i instantly changed my email identity. tonight we went to see "Celebrity," and they had plush toy Heimlichs for sale in the lobby. but he had weird fishy lips. otherwise we would have bought him for her. anyway, "Celebrity" was not really all that good. it had it's moments. the whole Leo segment was probably the brightest of the entire film (aside from Bebe Neuwirth's banana-choking scene). which is too bad because Leo sucks. and Kenneth Branagh was doing his best Woody Allen impression. it wasn't a bad movie, per se. it was just too disjointed. and it was about 20 minutes longer than it needed to be. oy, i've got so much work to do. and i'm sitting in the library so i'llactually get it done, but it's fricking freezing in here!!! as long as i'm frigid ~Courtney The Sultraness of Swing "Can you imagine all these people in Kansas driving by a giant erection?" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 09:18:01 -0500 From: "Lyons, Anne" Subject: Between the horses of love and lust... We are trampled Underfoot Hey all! Let me just start by saying... Thank GOD the Pats actually pulled off a V on Monday night... for once! Actually, it was probably better to win in a squeaker like that than to have a simple win. It's a shot in the arm to a faltering team. And did anyone else think to themsleves "Uh oh... his days are definitely numbered!" when the team ignored Pete Carroll's call for the last timeout? Oof. That had to hurt. And let me end my musings on the Patriots by saying these four things: 1.) Hartford is not all that far away, and it is still in New England -- it's better than CA! 2.) I love that Bledsoe is our QB... (although we all hold a special place in our hearts for Flutie). 3.) I may have had to take out a few co-workers if I had stayed up to watch them lose. 4.) I want to be Ted Johnson's love slave. For real. Mmmmmmmmm... #52 Apologies to all the Aussies and Brits (I don't think we have any other nationalities represented here, do we? Do we even have any Canucks?) for the preceding American football diatribe. So what are all y'all Americans making for Thanksgiving dinner? And don't give me any of that "I'm only XX years old... my Mom and Dad make dinner" crap. If you are old enough to stuff celery, you are old enough to make something for Turkey Day. Me... I'm making stuffed celery* (*grin*) and I'm making my famous apple pie**, and some other dessert as well. Perhaps a pumpkin pie... maybe some date squares... maybe a Boston creme pie. We'll see. I'm just happy I have a three-day work week. *smile* Spencer: You don't fight fair! I thought you meant "pinning me" as in wrestling... but you just stuck a safety pin through my Xena strap! How 'bout a best two outta three -- and you don't get to use any sharp objects. I think you'll find me to be a formidable opponent... you just ask Matthew about the elbows of doom... And btw -- I laughed out loud at "hi. my name is matthew." Here's a question... would you rather be a Sadist or a Masochist? Go on... think about it... it's a toughie. I'll keep my answer for later. Welp. That'll be all for me for now! Cheers! - -Anne Getting lots of play in my car: U2; Achtung, Baby Elliott Smith; XO Mighty, Mighty Bosstones; Let's Face It Aimee Mann; Whatever * Mmmmmmmm... low-fat cream cheese in celery... my all-time favorite appetizer! ** It truly is awesome pie... lots of brown sugar and cinnamon with a dash of nutmeg! Today's post was brought to you by the letters F and V and the number 6... ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 09:27:12 -0500 From: shirak@umich.edu Subject: The shrink is in Okay, top of the pile here: Jodie: If the guy isn't psyched to be called and asked out by a girl, he's either too damned arrogant for his own good, or he's a player, not that the two are mutually exclusive. It takes so much pressure of a guy to be asked out, simply because you don't have to worry about getting rejected. Anyway, just tell your friend to go for it and take her shot. If he doesn't say yes, well, screw him then. We Aquarians have to stick together. ;) John: I have no idea how the geography of Ohio works, but if you get the chance, head up to Bowling Green on a Saturday night and go see the Rocky Horror picture show. It doesn't matter if you hate the movie, there are really cool people there. Ask for Jester, and tell him the Webster sent you. ;) TOP TEN THINGS I'VE HEARD PEOPLE SAY WHILE STONED: 10) I can't move, man. 9) Dude, I haven't done enough drugs to understand the Teletubbies. 8) Dude, I'm hungry. *ten minutes later...* Dude, I'm hungry... 7) Sifl and Olly rock my world. 6) Punk Rock! 5) Cresent Fresh. 4) Hey, where'd the bowl go? 3) The birds are shining, the sky is singing. It's a good day. 2) Cookies! You can eat cookies! and the #1 thing I've heard: 1) There are stars.... and they make constellations.... and that's what it's all about. Bentent: Ummm, uhhhh, so Rubber Sled is about Robert, huh? ;) Laters all! Hail Eris! ERIC ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 07:49:35 -0800 From: "Kamp, Marcus S" Subject: Bow Down, Infidels For you are in the presence of greatness. No, not me...well, yeah, me too, but that's not the greatness I'm talking about. CARRIE SHANAFELT IS ONE OF THE SWEETEST PEOPLE EVER TO HAVE EXISTED IN THE HISTORY OF THIS CRAZY OL' WORLD & MOST OF US AREN'T FIT TO WATCH HER CLEAN HERSELF:-)! And now, I'll confuse everyone in the office & sing "Happy Birthday" to myself....much better. Ya know, the worst thing about having dated someone w/the same birthday as mine is that from now on, she'll feel the need to contact me on "our day" every year...grr! Get thee to a flophouse, you feckin' whore...oops, I mean, Happy Birthday to you too! So, I can't ever really make a drunk post, as this is a work addy. However, I do need to post about wine--a particular wine of which I've become quite fond over the last year or so & which our Australian friends should know quite well. I'd often seen the name (as I emptied the bottle) but it wasn't till this morning when I heard it read on NPR (a 47-year-old bottle just fetched over 15,000 US$) that I made the connection that I'm sure we'll all appreciate...I'm speaking, of course, about PENFOLD'S!!! Next convention or lounge party or Spence party or Markus birthday (HEY, THAT'S TODAY!), I'm gonna drink a big ol' chug & call it "Penfold's 5" just to make myself giggle like a school girl:-)! Deadly Faerie Tales countdown...6 days. (Keep in mind that it's not really in our control @ this point, so it could be as long as 3 weeks.) ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 08:23:41 -0800 From: "Kamp, Marcus S" Subject: It's My Party So, I'm wearin' my PenFold's Five "Kiss My Ass" T-shirt w/a button-down shirt over it, unbuttoned. I looked down & noticed that the button-down was hanging open so all of "BEN FOLDS FIVE" that was showing was "OLD". HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Even my clothes are mocking me! ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 09:49:34 -0700 From: Stacy Lynn Subject: Re: >tonight we went to see "Celebrity," and they had plush toy Heimlichs for >sale in the lobby. but he had weird fishy lips. otherwise we would have >bought him for her. anyway, "Celebrity" was not really all that good. >it had it's moments. the whole Leo segment was probably the brightest of >the entire film (aside from Bebe Neuwirth's banana-choking scene). which >is too bad because Leo sucks. and Kenneth Branagh was doing his best >Woody Allen impression. it wasn't a bad movie, per se. it was just too >disjointed. and it was about 20 minutes longer than it needed to be. I saw Celebrity last weekend, and I really liked it. Yes, Kenneth Branagh was doing his woody allen impression now that I think about it, but I enjoyed it. Oh yes, it had its moments, and the banana choking scene was one of them. So was Leo's "but I love you, Bitch!" scene. Actually, there were lots of moments that I enjoyed. I think that the movie had a lot to say about love. He botched up every chance he had at love. Real love. Was it because of the influence the celebrities had on him? He was trying to live his life like they do. He just wasn't any good at it. Then the most neurotic character in the beginning of the movie ends up the happiest in the end. By the end of the movie, she has just as much contact with celbrities as he does, but she doesn't change her values or morals when she is around them. Anyway, thats just a few of my thoughts on the movie. I won't spoil it for anyone else. I've GOTTA see A Bugs Life. Stacy Day comes I wake, I wake with a hard heartache I go down to your place We sit and chat about New York... --Rufus Wainwright "Danny Boy" http://www.u.arizona.edu/~stacyf icq #7641939 ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 14:07:17 EST From: F2G2@aol.com Subject: on the collective unconsciousness: we all connect, like a net we cannot see. so much to catch up on......... fop: i haven't rushed out to purchase it yet......i felt so burned after running out as soon as the stores opened to buy the infamous gojira soundtrack....... smirk. fl: i've got a bitchin copy of a cd these guys named rob and fab put out. kinda dancy, kinda groovy........it tells you everything you might ever want to know about the world's pop culture in the late eighties. want a copy? it's a benign growth within my cd collection. my sense of ethics prevents me from tossing it, because it was a gift waybackwhen from a girl who liked me and presumed to think she understood what i was into. the worst malignant growth i've gotten in immediate history would be that damnable marcy playground shyte. buy it, four months later i hear the only slightly good song off it everywhere. i heard it on the muzak @ denny's, for gods' sake. foisted that off on a not-so-perceptive friend. i thought fl stood for.........flatulant leader. fruitloop? funklovegod? frayed liederhosen? anne: spencer (STILL OWES ME A GODDAMN TAPE) seems to believe that it might be fun to pin you, whereas i am of the belief that it would probably be more fun to be pinned by you. what is your take on this? smile. also, i have unmasked several dogs on the internet. how, you ask? dogs don't have thumbs........something that i oftentimes tease our canines (and felines) about. so.....in conclusion, when a dog uses the home-row typing method.......they tend to miss the spacebar. and sometimes v or b, depending on how liberal they are. spencer: good to see you have returned. and for the record, i haven't been stoned in days. ira and i have to harvest later this week. markus: i want my sinforosa. just because i'm busily lurking does not mean i'm not omnipresent. john_oc: hudson, oh? you poor bastard. i'm in hartville, with the crazy amish. jordan: i was relatively sure you presented your posts in a strange sort of extended haiku. i'm pissed i didn't make katie's cool list. time to get militant........ matthew "once i was you......." ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 15:18:52 -0500 From: Dan Cohen Subject: AOL bought my netscape Ah, geez. Just when you thought you were safe...the company that knows nothing about the state of the Internet, even stooping so far as to try to force their way into the sacred cable modem market, buys out the maker of the only product I will ever use for mail and news reading besides pine. I'm sorry if this is too geeky, but come on. I don't want AOL making my browser. The reason I use my current ISP is because I was fed up with AOL. Now I have to surf the Internet with a product that's owned by them. Yes, I realize it's the same way with ICQ, but Netscape is like a big deal. It's freaking open source code, for crying out loud. It means a lot to me. I may never upgrade my current 4.5 revision, simply to know that I'm using a non-AOL-tainted version. End geek block. Anne, Doug Flutie is a god in central and western New York. Flutie Flakes brand cereal is hard to find, and the Flutie Flakes shirt which I'm wearing now is a cult item of no comparison. Of course, if the Bills lose, it's over, but as for right now we're living in paradise. And no more Scott Norwood. Whee! Just you wait...the red and blue are on the road to the Super Bowl. The best back-up quarterback in the NFL at the very least. And Thurman. Sigh. Gotta love the current state of Syracuse sports too...the Orange football team playing Miami in the big house for the Big East championship (to which I have TICKETS !!!!!!) and the basketball squad having just crushed its third straight victim, this time the host Chaminade squad in the Maui Invitational. (If you're wondering, Courtney, I stayed up until 4 to watch the ball game from Hawaii.) There's nothing like standing in a screaming crowd 53000 strong in the Dome to see your team play vs. the hated rivals in the big game. I'm having a big-ass get-together at my aunt's house...thirty people or so coming. I'll bring my world-famous chili rolls. And possibly a blueberry pie if I'm feeling frisky. Court, I've got a fetish for the talking plastic chihuahuas at Taco Bell. These fucking things are amazing. The "Feliz Navidad Amigos!" one cracks me up. As well as the classic "Here lizard lizard!" Amazing that the best part about Godzilla is still the fast food tie-in campaign. OK. I've got stuff to do, operating systems to install, eyes to poke out, leaves to jump in, feet to massage, letters to write, and oompah bands to listen to. Have a nice day. - -- Dan Cohen Network Techni-whatever, Retail Flunky, Cable Modem Bee-yotch PC Solutions, Inc. Liverpool, New York http://emeraldsky.dyn.ml.org UIN:13907258 "...sheep go to heaven. goats go to hell..." ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 16:16:22 EST From: jaedonely@juno.com Subject: Rufus Wainwright! Hey all, I saw a really good (GAP commercial) with Rufus Wainwright singing Gershwin -it was so good I exploded! Anybody else find him to be the epitome of all things good looking? ~Elisabeth happy thought-"What are you doing New Years-New Years Eve?" ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 20:55:58 EST From: Vwbugn5890@aol.com Subject: (no subject) Spencer - that story about Monique and her oh-so-brilliant question made me laugh out loud. i think you posted that to the RF before, but that was funny :) John - i wouldn't reccomend moving to Idaho. i don't think theres any people there, just potatoes. have you ever met anyone online from Idaho? have you ever seen any cars on the highway from Idaho? i haven't... maybe they just don't own cars... I don't understand why people don't like They Might Be Giants. all my friends think they're awful. why? i just don't get it. on the other hand, those same friends like KC and JoJo or however you spell it. now that i don't get at all. today while i was writing captions in Tatler (yearbook class) i had to abbreviate the club Minority Excellence (ME) and i kept writing MA. i guess ben and his accessories are just always running through my mind. shan "Memo to myself: do the dumb things I gotta do" ~ TMBG ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 24 Nov 1998 23:46:09 -0700 From: Stacy Lynn Subject: EMERGENY! Courtney's show is on what URL??? HELP! I deleted Court's email saying what station her show is on!!! I MUST listen, it was the best 4 hours ever! So, um, email me asap if you know it. In the meantime, I'll be doing a short one hour show before hers starts. Mine is on a different station though. It is http://kamp.arizona.edu 12am MST. This is not my normal show, I'm just filling in. listen in Real Audio please email me PRIVATELY cuz I only get them in the digest form. Thanks!!!! Stacy Day comes I wake, I wake with a hard heartache I go down to your place We sit and chat about New York... --Rufus Wainwright "Danny Boy" http://www.u.arizona.edu/~stacyf icq #7641939 ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #316 *********************************