From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #284 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Saturday, October 24 1998 Volume 01 : Number 284 Today's Filings: ----------------- its 5am.... I've got big balls a doo ron ron, a doo ron ron Ayatollah Assaholla I come before our fearless leader with my eyes downcast in shame... Dan gets funky by the castle of greyskull... more more more ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 23 Oct 1998 05:47:53 EDT From: jaedonely@juno.com Subject: its 5am.... Hey guys, Ive been up since four, trying to write an essay on the revolutionary Martin Luther, but procrastination rules. Actually, I have barely anything to say (drained by school) but um, if Courtney would emailme since Im utterly confused about her email address...its changing every second... I dnt think Im even going out for Halloween (College Essays.=( ) But yesterday at work, I got to wear the Xena, warrior princess costume, and the hottie Nick that works there (shit! I said hottie!) he wore a clown costume. Willingly. Sigh. Anybody else on this list enjoy 5ive? Theyre my guilty pleasure. Lastly, Id like to send a shout out to all the bike messengers on the list. I love you! ~Elisabeth ___________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 23 Oct 1998 08:16:33 -0400 (EDT) From: Eric Patton Subject: I've got big balls Dirty big balls, and he's got big balls, and she's got big balls, and you've got big balls, and they've got big balls But we've got the biggest balls of them all! Just a little AC/DC to wake everyone up. ;) No real reason for writing, other than this being the first official drunk-at-work post. It was one of my friend's birthday (or at least the pre-party for it) and I had about 8 straight shots of vodka before I headed home. And I was hitting on my favorite little lesbian girl the whole night. She had a headache, and I was helping her relax. Okay, so it was cheap gratification for me, but I was still helping her out. ;) Anyway, I'd better get my ass in gear. Laters all! Hail Eris! ERIC P.S. If you're wondering about why my spelling isn't messed up, it's because it took me about 10 minutes to write this much. ;) _______________________________________________________________________________ "Sex, drugs, and office supplies should never be bought." -John Stowe _______________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 23 Oct 1998 10:45:26 CDT From: "Fearless Leader" Subject: a doo ron ron, a doo ron ron This files have been so stimulating lately. matthew. forget about the 4th. 15th row, center for my main man, neil diamond in stl. i know, i know. but hey. he rocks my world in two. he reminds me so much of my (deceased) father, so there is some kind of spiritual connection. or something. but no touching thankyouverymuch. it is getting chilly willy here in the heartland. 31 last night. but, on a bright note, the little child is _finally_ sleeping through the night. she is giggling. kids are great. but, i can already see her as a teenie-bobber befefe fan. oh well. anybody else watch old clips of elton john and say, "man. he looks like ben folds?" so now we know what ben will look like when he grows up...heh heh...just so long as he doesn't go back to that bi-sexual, crack-smoking, cross dressing lifestyle he was into... was that just bentent? doug. what the hell is going on with you? you should really say hi more often. sandi. i so envy your position in nc. there is not a very good selection of acts around here. check that. no selection. although, the statler bros. will be here this weekend. i'm, like, so NOT there. this local club has a swing night. geeks. all of them. please never come to springfield. it will make you, sick. this whole basketball strike thing is really pissin the beegeezers out of me. anybody else think there is too much regulation in this country? it is like there is this pampering issue. the gov't HAS to stick their nose in every aspect of people's lives. i think at some point there has to be a learning curve. the whole dawrin theory. sink or swin. don't count on others to do shit for you. it seems there is this whole accountability issue out there. "it's not my responsibility." "someone made me do it." "someone should have prevented this." account for your own actions please. here's a good one. "intoxication makes us feel sophisticated, even if we can't spell it." anyone else get a kick out of how stupid joey is on friends? i love that tailor episode..."he runs his hand up one leg, slides them to one side, then runs his hand up the other leg and slides them to the other side...that's normal, right?" "yeah!....in PRISON!" guess you had to be there.... btw, remember that whole befefefefefe arena discussion? i don't think we have anything to worry about....the boys are safe at clubs...unless sandi is there...and katie. and anne. and matthew. and markus. and tina. and carrie. and anoop. and katy. and kristen. and eric. and spencer. and....wait a minute. i feel like i am 4 and watching romper room waiting for that bitch to say she sees me through that stupid magic mirror she looks into every damn day and never sees me in... sorry. that was a moment. well. that is enough excitement for a friday morning. i hope ya'll wake the hell up next week and make me laugh. - ---end transmission (stolen from john) - -fl *i ask again. what the hell ever happened to that damn befefefefefefefefefefefefefefefefe fan club?? (spoken in total sarcasm) ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 23 Oct 1998 15:17:14 -0400 From: Dan Cohen Subject: Ayatollah Assaholla I felt like a random Simpsons reference, so there. Stuff is good. School today was a brilliant exercise in bullshitting. I overslept for the second straight day, barely making the bus. Yes, laugh at me now since I don't drive. Bastards. But I got there in time, eliciting this comment from Rob: "Dan, you really look like shit today." So I go to my music lesson and promptly bomb out on my first quarter written test. Music theory can bite me. But my solo is coming along well. Then we have Academic Support. I'm supposed to go down for the first half of the period only to copy a solo. I end up hanging with the chorale people for the whole 90 minutes. I may be in seriously deep shit come Tuesday. But it was fun. We scared all the BOCES people (read: the ones who study pastry arts and cosmetology) by singing the medley from "Ragtime" REALLY LOUD. Then comes Health, where Olivia mysteriously decides to sit near me. These fine young lads, the sorts who maybe missed the BOCES bus, the sorts who wear lots of cheap cologne and gold chains and too much hair gel, are a few seats behind us. Upstanding Lad #1: "Yo, girl, where you from?" Olivia: "Germany." UL #1: "Oh, yeah?" He then turns to his friend and makes the universal "Check out her breasts!" motion in FULL VIEW. This is potentially the stupidest thing someone can do in the presence of a lady, period. Strangely, either Olivia doesn't understand it or she doesn't care. Hmmm. This is the oddest part. Everyone who knows this girl is madly in love with her. My initial feelings of "Is it socially acceptable to date a foreign exchange student?" have apparently been answered, as she is somehow the most sought-after target in the school. I can understand it, because she's beautiful. But where does it leave me? I'm not the chick-magnet. I'm not Scott, or Paul, or D.J., or whomever her latest beau is. Do I have a chance in this all? My school pictures were surprisingly good, too. My favorite song on OK Computer is Lucky. No ifs, ands, or asses. And Slashdot is back up after a whole day of me not being able to access it. And I get paid tonight. Yayeth! ~Dan ps. I ALMOST posted this to a computing newsgroup, which would have had interesting results. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 23 Oct 1998 18:13:00 -0500 (CDT) From: Anoop Ranganath Subject: I come before our fearless leader with my eyes downcast in shame... Sorry it's been so long guys. It's been a fast week. Last Friday I caught Jump, Little Children in Atlanta at the Cotton Club? Any of you guys there. It was my first club show with them, and I was TOTALLY floored. It was so incredible. As blasphemous as it sounds, it was much more fun than the two BFF shows I've been to, (although I still like BFF's music more). Wow, I just took a moment to reflect on the show. If you were here it would have looked like I was just staring at the monitor, eyes focused somewhere behind it, with this stupid grin on my face. I went through a very emotionally trying time last week. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I drove around for two hours, feeling like I was such an idiot, just cause I felt so miserable, but couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. If I have a problem, I can usually identify it, solve it, and get on with life. Not being able to solve the problem is the most depressing thing in the world. Anyways, I figured it out, I'm in a rut. Anything I've tried to do for the last three months outside of the routine has fallen flat on it's face. That's easy enough to fix though, just keep trying stuff until something works. My entire romantic situation hasn't improved. I'm okay with that though. Finding a girl that I find attractive that isn't seeing someone or getting over someone is pretty impossible on a small campus. Looking outside of the walls is even more of a pain in the butt, at least until I turn 21. Well, that's it, I know that ALL OF US are coming to Athens on Wednesday, Oct. 28th for Belle and Sebastian, right? And we're all coming back to Athens on Friday, Oct. 30th for Jump, Little Children's Halloween show. (I know it's Halloween, but they say it is, and they are going to be dressed up, and we all have to be dressed up, and they are playing a feature horror film starring them, so we have to be there. Enough pronouns for you?). Then we're all going to Knoxville on Nov. 4th for Jump, Little Children again. Come on, we've got to find something to do until our boys come around again. Anoop Ranganath ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 23 Oct 1998 22:47:56 -0400 From: Dan Cohen Subject: Dan gets funky Hullo all you people out there. I have broken my streak of not buying any new music courtesy of my paycheck:) I went to the mall, got my hair cut, bitch-knocked some sixth graders at NFL Blitz and Tekken 3 in the arcade (both of which I am amazing at, if I do say so myself), and bought "Behind the Front" by the Black Eyed Peas. I have to say that this is currently my favorite album, replacing The Boy With the Arab Strap. If you've never heard this band, think of it like this: Straight hip-hop over a live jazz band. Awesome. It has so much flow that it's blowing me away as I listen to it. And the "hip-hop game show"...it makes you long for the De La Soul days of yore. The song "Que Dices?" was on the CMJ CD in September I believe, which is where I heard the band first. Then I saw some commercial on MTV for "Funky Rap Weekend" or whatever. I heard "Black IPs". And I thought...an Internet-based rap group? Soon to be followed by the Black TCPs, the Black CGIs, and the Black NetBEUIs? Anyway, this is my recommendation for the moment. Courtney, get this...it would complement all your swing quite nicely. Not usually the type of thing I listen to, but it works for me. And how can you go wrong with these lyrics?: "I see you try to dis our function by stating that we can't rap...is it because we don't wear Tommy Hilfiger or baseball caps?" Hehe. I'm sorry. I'm trying to create a positive buzz so I can get some points with this album for the Billboard Challenge. But seriously, it's fueling my groovy feelings right now. So bite me if you don't like promotion. My hair is looking good, at least. I got called in to work because Andy and Jasen had to leave and I made a $1300 sale and a $300 sale. Woohoo! Too bad I don't get commission. At any rate, they now trust me enough to let me run the store alone. Monday I get to go to Auburn and install Exchange Server across a network by my lonesome. Ook. In other words, Sunday I have to study how to install Exchange Server. But 's'all cool. The bass is bumpin' as we speak, the night is young, and I have to get up at 9:( No word on whether I'll be on IRC tonight. Quickie Dan Poll: 1. Shall I dye my hair again? 2. If so, what color? 3. What does "Que Dices?" mean? A. Cheese tortilla melt B. Cue the dices C. Spanish for "What did you just say?" Hehehe... ;P ~El Nino ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 24 Oct 1998 00:14:22 -0400 (EDT) From: KDEMCAK@WELLESLEY.EDU Subject: by the castle of greyskull... Ahoy, mateys! I finally finished decorating my dorm room (yes, I know it's October. shut up), and I finally finished the beauteous Shrine to BeFeFe. No, it's not like the scary shrine to Cary Elwes that Alicia Silverstone has in "The Crush" (at least, I haven't started burning candles yet, chanting, "I want a new album, I want a new album...") but it is a nice little collection of pictures and magazine photos, etc. I am sure any normal person would find it scary, but ya'll would appreciate it (or maybe you would find it scary, too...) It's that time of year again--Parents/Family weekend, so the 'rents flew in from Chicago to visit me. And of course, it's the one day all year that my classes are just too embarrassing to be sitting through and taking notes on: we were doing A Clockwork Orange in my films class, and the prof was a little taken aback to have to go through frame by frame the scene where Alex kills this old lady with a giant ceramic penis. And then in my Modern British Novel class, we did the anal sex scene in Lady Chatterley's Lover -- I swear, the profs plan these things on the syllabi. FL, I, too, am majorly annoyed by the basketball lockout. I had counted on the fact that Bulls tickets would be easier to get this year in Boston if none of the major players (i.e. MJ) were back, but I have a feeling that the first Boston/Chicago game was cancelled. sniff sniff. umm...bentent... i like robert's shoes. cheers, katy "here's a little joke i just made up, how many of me would it take to screw up your life?" ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 24 Oct 1998 03:16:19 EDT From: Sandibrady@aol.com Subject: more more more Ahhhh, I just returned from seeing Dag and the Gladhands in Raleigh with Ginger. All y'all should know who the Gladhands are because our dearest Robert played on their album...Rob was also roommates with Jeff from the Gladhands and Joe Caparo from The Doleful Lions...who Ginger and I *saw* Wednesday night. Strange how things connect like that. So I don't think I mentioned my glorious Gladhands meeting...I'll make it snappy. Last week (or was it the week before???) I stopped to help this guy whose car broke down on my street. I gave him a ride back home and we started talking about shit and turns out he's Jeff from the Gladhands. Strange, strange, strange. Anyway, we saw the Gladhands tonight and met all of them (all 3 of them) and they were really cool. And they were great live....even though Collin from Dawson's Creek and his friends didn't think so. WHich reminds me, I should tell you this... So I see this guy walking through the crowd and I say to Ginger "That's the guy from Dawson's Creek". She laughs. I am CONVINCED it is him. After Dag I go up to him and sure enough, it is Kenny from this past week's Dawson. His real name is Collin. You know, the guy who gets paired up with Jen's skanky ass friend for that stupid project. Anyway, he's going to be on the 9th episode too (this past week was the 3rd) so keep your eyes peeled. We might meet Collin and his friends up there tomorrow night because the Gladhands and Dag are playing again. That is, if I can get my cutie rock star date to go along with us! hehe. Cutie rock star date.....ahhhhh, I can't wait. I should get my beauty sleep. I'll need plenty of it with how I'm looking lately. Scraggly hair and all. I'd have to say I almost look *frumpy*.... San ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #284 *********************************