From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #280 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Tuesday, October 20 1998 Volume 01 : Number 280 Today's Filings: ----------------- Super-educated, I'm smarter than Spock Random Notes... True Geekdom Jordan in #277 Halloween ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 19 Oct 1998 04:07:05 -0400 From: Dan Cohen Subject: Super-educated, I'm smarter than Spock Had to bust out a retro Beastie Boys reference...it's 3:30 am and I feel good (although I bet I won't in twelve hours when I'm at work)... My weekend: Saturday- I take the PSAT. Bicky-bam. Easier than the SAT, on which I got a 1530. In other words, Danny could be in good shape when the NMSQT thing rolls around. I go to work. Bicky-bam again. I fix the supposedly unfixable computer. Applause all around, even from my boss who's looking at hardcore Net porn in his office. When I get home, I find out we're heading up north to see the fambly. Cool. A refreshing break from the last two weeks of nonstop partying. And I get to see my great-grandmother, whom I love dearly. She is the coolest 86-year-old on the planet. A little daft (she confuses me with my cousin Tim. Although we're five months apart, I'm six inches taller, forty pounds heavier, have a much deeper voice, and dyed hair...which, by the way, must be cut again soon. I'ma gettin shaggy.), but not enough for us to be ashamed of her. Now, up north refers to a lovely three-hour ride to the Canadian border. This is accentuated by the fact that my momma won't let me even _steer_, and my batteries run out halfway through "Fox in the Snow". However, I sleep and manage to find a station which plays nothing but '80s tunes on Saturday nights. Killer. We get there, it's all good, I horse around with my cousin Brandon, who's the toughest six-year-old I've ever met, I watch "Sports Disasters" on the Learning Channel, I sleep until noon, we have a big lunch at 3 pm, we talk, I execute a picture-perfect drop toe-hold to Crippler Crossface on Tim when we wrestle out on the trampoline, we leave, etc. I get home. The Caller ID box reports three calls from "David and Robin Anderson". I figure it's someone's daughter calling my sister Alyssa and forget about it. She says "Some girl called for you, Dan." Oh, really? "Yeah, Yvonne or something." Suddenly I remember who's number that is. Olivia. Host parents. Shit. Now, this is interesting. I replay the message and she gives no indication as to what she wants to know. Is it health homework, or something else? I don't even wonder. Has she left the hoochie Scott? Does she want to rock my world? Ah well. I now give you my list of cool things for the day. 1. Black Eyed Peas, "Behind the Front". I SERIOUSLY got into this CD this weekend. Pick this shit up. It hammers beyond all description. 2. Kahunaville. I applied for a DJ job there (it's a big theme restaurant a la Rainforest Cafe or Planet Hollywood, only surfer style). Will I spin Jimmy Buffett or Orbital? We'll see. If I get the job, that is. 3. Liz Phair. She was on 120 Min. tonight. I really do have a crush on her, although that's icky for so many reasons. Pretty girl, and a good lyricist. Although the bridge to "Polyester Bride" sounds a bit too much like "Where You Get Love" by Matthew Sweet for my liking. Hum it. "Do you wanna be a polyester bride..." "Instead of running..." I know it's only three chords but they're eerily similar. Nevertheless, now I have Liz Phair stuck in my head. 4. The Billboard Challenge. I suck so badly at this game, it isn't FUNNY. I am currently ranked 684 out of 689 for this week and, having picked such hot albums as Shaquille O'Neal, Gangsta Boo, Everything, and Medeski Martin & Wood (who are apparently only popular in Syracuse), I don't expect to be in the top 20 soon. Pish. I did score a major surprise with the Goo Goo Dolls album, though. But it's fun. 5. DMX. He flows. Rob lent me his CD and it's amazing. I saw this on vinyl once and I should have gotten it. I could lace so much from this. Man. OK. I need two hours of meaningless sleep that'll leave me even more tired than now. And some caffeine when I wake up. ~Dan "I'm an orange soda man. That brominated vegetable oil is the secret." ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 19 Oct 1998 09:27:02 -0400 From: "Lyons, Anne" Subject: Random Notes... Hey all! Just a quick note... I will be out of the office all the rest of this week (read: Tuesday - Friday) at a tradeshow in Atlanta, so I will only have sporadic access to my e-mail. And today I am still doing catch up from last week's illness PLUS I am trying to get ahead of work for this week since I will be gone. Work sucks. On the bright side, Saturday was the annual trip to King Richard's Faire ( a Renaissance Faire, for those of you who know what that is). The weather was gorgeous and we had a great time. And I even got accosted by a drunk guy at the end of the day! *grin* Here's the story... I'm walking over to the jousting pit with my sister-in-law and her friend to find our erstwhile husbands after the final tournament of the day... and I feel this guy grab my arm. Thinking it might be Mike, I turn and see Drunk Man talking to one of the Players. Drunk Man: Now this woman... she's all woman and I know she's interested in you... Player: Oh yeah... I'm sure... (sotto voce to me) Do you know this guy? Me: Not in the least... Drunk Man: Yeah... look at those eyes. They're just... You can just tell that you know. Me: Oh yeah... Bo knows football, I know guys... Player: Ahhhhhhhhhhh... so milady speaks drunk as well! Me: Oh yes, I'm quite fluent. Drunk Man: (oblivious) You are gonna have a great time tonight, baby! Me: Of course! You of all men know I always do! Drunk Man: ????? Me: Thanks! Gotta run! Player: Nice work, milady! Me: Thank you, milord... It was very funny. Now, as I've told Markus and Erik and Matthew... I am the veritable Goddess of Beergoggling. There's just something about 12 or 14 tankards of ale that just make me delectable to the opposite sex. *grin* Now I am off to work my @ss off so I can try to get out of here early so I can be done packing before Monday Night Football! Go Pats! - -Anne P.S. Can I just tell you how painful it is going to be to get up at 4:30 am to make my flight? Oof. "Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life." - Eleanor Roosevelt ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 19 Oct 1998 09:54:26 -0400 (EDT) From: Eric Patton Subject: True Geekdom Last night, I did something I've wanted to do for a long time: I watched Transformers: the Movie. You remember, the one where Optimus Prime dies, Megatron becomes Galvatron, Grimlokk kicks butt, and all the rest? And check this: I drove a half and hour to find a video store that carried it. And I could still name all of the Autobots and Decepticons after 14 years. God is that scary. After that, we watched Starship Troopers. It was propogan-deeeeelicious! ;) I'm sorry, but the two female leads in that movie almost incapacitated me. Anyway, that's enough of my antics for one night. Laters all! Hail Eris! ERIC _______________________________________________________________________________ "Sex, drugs, and office supplies should never be bought." -John Stowe _______________________________________________________________________________ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 19 Oct 1998 07:10:06 -0700 From: "Kamp, Marcus S" Subject: Jordan in #277 "Ne-and-er-tal". This is the correct pronunciation, as the original "Neanderthal Man" was found in the valley of the Neander river in Germany (or "Neanderthal"). Since the Germans pronounce "th" like "t", it is "ne-and-er-tal". That is all. Now it's fall. Havin' a ball, rhymin & all. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 19 Oct 1998 18:00:33 -0400 From: Barbi Subject: Halloween Hey if anyone in the Ohio area is NOT going to Athens (OU) for halloween and wants to get together with me, please email me. I am dressing up as Uncle Walter and will be very depressed, in rememberence of the best night of my life: Last Halloween, BFF concert. I'm in Columbus, looking for somewhere cool to spend the evening, so maybe we could have a mini Ohio-Ben-Con or something. Barbi ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #280 *********************************