From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #248 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Friday, September 18 1998 Volume 01 : Number 248 Today's Filings: ----------------- yeah, i'm against the wall, now... I have been summoned... Drove downtown in the rain... Oops I have twenty Guatemalans in the back of my van why my dad is so cool Kristin? I hear ya, woman. An apology I'm walkin' on sunshiiiiine.... Breakup issue resolved A Moment for Us, Dan's the Man, and Kristin Kicks Butt... lurve sagas ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 03:10:27 -0700 (PDT) From: "Jordan W." Subject: yeah, i'm against the wall, now... some say love only comes once in a lifetime, but once is enough for me. She was one in a million, so there's 5 more just in New South Wales... that is a counterpoint to the gushing that is happening at the mo on the rf. most of it coming from me. :) but goddamn, how sweetly can life go for a young man such as myself. exams are over! i kicked some serious shit too. topped physics, geography, 2u maths, second in english (my worst subject), tied in three unit maths for 1st with two others. chemistry, in which i came second, was also a pleasent suprise. the one who beat me was only the love of my life. =D she's one smart little lass, she's stepping it with me in maths and physics and chem, and i'm looking odds on for dux, so yeah. hot diggitty dawg. brains, looks. she likes me (i think). obsessed? nah, just because when my sister asked me about the sahara, i said it was hot. sara,sahara. ker-ching! dan, you'd be suprised, but the last movie we watched at my house was austin powers. then we went down and shot pool and then came home and watched 12 monkeys. thanks for the tips, but i don't have a upstairs. but yeah, i'll shoot the moon, hey? anne, i've been having probs with the rf too. i've been forced to go and read them off the archive. i want my digest at 5.25 pm EST prompt, dammit! ouch. i'm feeling for you, kristen. don't play 3 hours of touch football and expect to be able to match it with your tennis coach in a set. i went down 3-6. but hey, i took it out of him. with all the sport i've been playing, i have dropped 15kg. that isn't too good either, because i now weigh less than the sporty types. or perhaps i AM a sporty type now. is it possible to be a jock and a geek at the same time? perhaps a jeek. or a gock. i am sunburnt. damn. that's all for now, people. i want posts from markus, anne, sandi, ginger and e tommorow. i don't ask for much, do i? I'm out, Jordan "oooooooooohhhhhh yeah baby" W _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 09:33:32 CDT From: "Fearless Leader" Subject: I have been summoned... actually, I was going to post anyway. Kristen, whoa. From the male viewpoint, I can only assume your (ex)guy has come to a point in the relationship where many emotions have surfaced and causing him to evaluate the situation. It appears from his behavior that he will not lose touch with you. He might even go so far as to say he was drugged at the time and didn't mean a word he said. I bet that there were other outside stimuli which triggered his re-evaluation. But, you better keep a steady head in dealing with guy now. To quote one of Sandi's fav songs, "Love Hurts." I remember an Anarchy class I took back in college. There were many aspects of a utopian society which appealed to me. Our class was tight, due to the subject we studied. But in the final ANNEalysis, that class, as is the idea of a perfect society, was only an escape from the stresses we live with every day. Hell, we graded ourselves in that class. And this was a senior level class. So, in a jumbled way of trying to explain myself, finding a "soul mate" is hard, if not impossible these days. There is a high level of second guessing. Human emotions are tough thing to explain. For instance, probably some of you on the list have a certain level of "attraction" to others on the list. You feel like there is _something_ that (to quote my favourite lawyer on Ally) makes you "drawn" to someone. I love that line. "I'm drawn to her." I loved him on Chicago Hope. Thank God for Lifetime reruns. I digress. Quite often, a case of the grass in greener, or the whole, "is this *THE* person *I* am supposed to be with" enters the psyche. Asking yourself, "what does this all mean?" can only hurt you. Go with the flow. That is the ultimate protection. We are a weird people, us humans, and the environment around us contributes to our behaviours. Here's my creed for now: One day at a time. Take what comes my way and try not to question why it is happening. And for goodness' sake, try not to take steps backwards. Always keep your feet in motion. That was probably a horrible ANNEalysis, but it was my first. AML, feel free to tweak the wrinkles in my theory. And Markus, find me a website that supports it. And Dan, let's have a foreign exchange swing party at your place. I'll bring the refreshments. Matthew will bring the wit. Sandi will bring Rob (talk about your odd couples). Mm, that last crack was a joke. But I am laughing pretty hard. What do they say? If you can't amuse yourself, who can you amuse? Wait, that is what _I_ say. Peace, love and aluminium foil girth. - -Your Fearlessly. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 08:03:17 -0700 From: "Kamp, Marcus S" Subject: Drove downtown in the rain... ...9:30 on a Tuesday Just to check out the late night record shops. Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane, But when I'm surrounded I just can't stop. It's a matter of instinct, a matter of conditioning, and a matter of fact. You can call me Pavlov's dog. OK, I usually don't start w/a quote but Steven Page is lyin' in my head (just like Brian Wilson did). So, how are all you lovelies this morning? Are you ready to soft rock?! JORDAN: I'm thinkin' Julia (that's her name, right?!) is diggin' ya. If she called (rang) you @ home & wants to, uh, "steady" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), that's a pretty good sign. Just play it cool & be the lovable little man that you are on these here Files & I'm sure you'll charm her right out of her skivvies. DAN: So, how'd you get to attend high school w/the Swedish bikini team?! ERIC: If you don't know why I'm the shyte, well lemme tell ya. (Ehh, I'll tell ya later.) If anyone else can think of a reason, just e-mail Winsome Nicole or the Mystery Woman & let them know! Markus's Advice, pt. 905: Whatever ya do, be yourself. Sounds simple, but just you try it...if they can't love ya for who you really are, then they just can't love ya! ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 08:04:10 -0700 From: "Kamp, Marcus S" Subject: Oops That should have read "study", not "steady"...who knows, though. Jordan do you have the shakes? Perhaps Julia wants to "steady" you, or study you...whatever rocks her boat, I say! ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 18:10:05 -0400 From: Dan Cohen Subject: I have twenty Guatemalans in the back of my van Ionesco. When my drama director first started making us say that at rehearsals, it was funny haha. Now it's funny weird. I had auditions today for the school play, which is three one-acts: "Commedia Americana", "A Couple Bimbos Sit Around Talkin'", and "Sparks in the Park". I did rather well and I might have landed the role of the crazy old guy in Commedia, or Sparks in Sparks in the Park. I'll know Monday. But I digress. First off...Kristin, we feel your pain. Remember the immortal words of Gloria Gaynor..."As long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive." From my experience with women, I know that if they seem indecisive about commitment, it's usually a good idea to never expect iit. Men are even worse on this subject. So keep your chin up and realize there's someone better out there for you. FL, I couldn't have said it better. It's hard to be direct about things since love is starting to seep into this list, but it needed to be said that it's incredibly hard to find and keep a significant other. My today: Today was my Olivia in Health day. True to form, she flirted with me (at one point sitting on the vent, which lifted her skirt up a ways) most of the period. She now has this thing where if she wants to get my attention, she tickles me in the small of the back rather than tap me on the shoulder. I'm a little frightened now though. I'm sure she's doing this with other people, because a girl this great does not get attracted to me. This is a fact of my life. I'm almost sure Julia has no idea I exist or care for her. I'm not sure what to think. Swedish Kristen has apparently found a place within the preppy girls of my school within a week, which is near-record time. I spent group time in Health listening to her talk to Abbey Young and Melissa Wilhelm, who are very field-hockey-playing, sweater-wearing stereotypes, about boys. So where does this leave me? Bottom line is this: First week of school. My ass has been grabbed by a random Polish beauty queen. She is major-league either messing with my mind or coming on to me. I really hope it isn't all part of some cruel game. Considering that my music department friends have become total hobags, I start to wonder. But anyway... If I get a part in one of these plays, I might quit immediately. I'm so pissed at my friends right now. I don't have anybody, period. I have acquaintances but not friends. They all went to my friend Derek's house after school today and Derek said he wouldn't take me home because he had to get home before everyone else did. I ended up going to my dad's, which required that I climb the fence (in one of those neighborhoods where everyone is security-mad) to get in since the door was locked. I was suitably mad, but these are my friends, I guess. I'm such a mess right now that I don't know where I'm going. They kicked me out of math today, the course I failed last year, and put me in the lower, non-honors class, with a different teacher and a whole new set of notes and no knowledge of where they might be except that I'm going to be even more bored than I am in honors. I screwed up my life last year. I start tomorrow. I'm sorry I'm so negative. Yell at me, because quite frankly I'm confused and pissed and sad and they moved "Simpsons" to another channel with much worse reception. Sorry y'all have to put up with Dan the Dick, but I just need a hug. People are deserting me and I really don't know where to go. I don't eat lunch Day 2 anymore. I think I'll have a sandwich and take a nap. I should go to the mall and buy a new sweater. I need to listen to the Health teacher when she tells us about self-esteem. I apologize again. ~Dan ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 15:27:10 -0700 From: Chickfactor Subject: why my dad is so cool This is a multi-part message in MIME format. - --------------43B61939C1B6D8AE184DA962 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit i got this from my dad this morning and figured a bunch of you would be interested. Christmas in October? sounds good to me. ~Courtney The Sultraness of Swing "Well if you must know, something was dropped on my head." "In infancy?" "No out on the platform." - --------------43B61939C1B6D8AE184DA962 Content-Type: message/rfc822 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Disposition: inline Return-Path: Received: from usc.edu (usc.edu [128.125.19.136]) by scf-fs.usc.edu (8.8.8/8.8.8/usc) with ESMTP id HAA05943 for ; Thu, 17 Sep 1998 07:30:46 -0700 (PDT) Received: from hotmail.com (f198.hotmail.com [207.82.251.87]) by usc.edu (8.8.8/8.8.8/usc) with SMTP id HAA01235 for ; Thu, 17 Sep 1998 07:30:46 -0700 (PDT) Received: (qmail 14514 invoked by uid 0); 17 Sep 1998 14:30:13 -0000 Message-ID: <19980917143013.14513.qmail@hotmail.com> Received: from 207.229.81.14 by www.hotmail.com with HTTP; Thu, 17 Sep 1998 07:30:11 PDT X-Originating-IP: [207.229.81.14] From: "Charles Knopf" To: courk@usc.edu Subject: nut zippers Content-Type: text/plain Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 07:30:11 PDT Courtney, This just offf the wir: SQUIRREL NUT ZIPPERS: FIRST HOLIDAY ALBUM (New York) -- If you're tired of listening to bland renditions of Christmas songs you've heard a hundred times before -- you'll be happy to hear about Squirrel Nut Zippers' first ever Holiday album. "Christmas Caravan" is coming on October sixth. The album has eight original songs and two Christmas standards. Some of the songs are "Hot Christmas," "Johnny Ace Christmas," and "I'm Coming Home for Christmas." Zipper Ken Mosher says they wanted their own spin to the album and wanted it to be diverse so people could play it over and over. dad ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com - --------------43B61939C1B6D8AE184DA962-- ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 18:12:03 -0400 From: Carrie Subject: Kristin? I hear ya, woman. Hello out there, Fjordians! Relationship sorbet: Kristin -- very sorry about el hombre. That is the exact crap I went through with my current. He was the one all interested in "a relationship," "having a girlfriend," etc., while for three months I still called him "this cool guy I hang out with". He was the first to whip out with the "L" word, he was the one always calling, always trying to make it a big thing, saying things like, "and then over NEXT summer we could both stay in Cleveland!" *yikes* By the time we got back to school, he'd charmed me into actually giving a rat's patootie. Then, boom, he breaks up with me three times, twice for four or five hours, once for three days. He'd always come back with, "I am an idiot. I am the hugest idiot EVER. How *dare* I imagine I didn't love you? Blah blah blah." I, being compassionate, giving, and an utter sap when confronted with cute begging boys, fell for it. Anyhow, it all comes down to the fact that he'd never been involved with a girl for this long without her starting to treat him like crap. Which leads to, "That means she's The One!" Which leads to, "But I'm only 20! I can't have The One yet! I have to play first!" My response was, "John. I hate to break it to you. It has NEVER occurred to me that I would EVER marry you. In fact, I will probably never marry *anyone,* much less a non-musically gifted athletic computer geek. My perspective is that the person that I am today likes the person you are today a helluva lot. That may change. When it does, that's fine. We'll do something else then. But being concerned about it does nothing but shorten our lives." It worked. Our relationship is fantastic now. I'm not saying it works for everyone, and, in fact, it may be a good time for things to end with you, but I don't think he and I were ready to give up yet. I wish you much happiness, Kristin. If he can't stop looking past the present, he's not worth the heartache. Sorry for the blabble. I got the new B&S. I LOVE it. It's WAY better than "If You're Feeling Sinister"! I especially love "A Space Boy Dream". It's funny -- my mom and I have always compared B&S to Donovan. Our favorite Donovan song is the spoken-word (Scottish accented) "Atlantis". Now B&S does a similar track... hmmm... However, I could live a long and HAPPY life if "Is It Wicked Not to Care?" had never been written or had been sung by someone else. That chick's voice is horrifically bad! I don't know if I've ever heard a professional recording *singer* with that little musical talent or training. YIKES. Love "Chickfactor" and the title track. Make me happy, they do... BFFinfo? Nada. Heard "Air" for the first time. I agree with the consensus: Not bad, but not great. Preaching Jeff Buckleyism far and wide, Carrie ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 18:58:39 -0400 From: Dan Cohen Subject: An apology I'm sorry for that last post. I'm having some personal problems lately, and I was just a little testy today. I really wish I hadn't sent that. ~Dan ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 22:31:37 -0400 From: Dan Cohen Subject: I'm walkin' on sunshiiiiine.... The events of tonight have made me forget the nastiness of this afternoon. Let me begin: I went to the mall in search of a new sweater. I desperately needed one, and besides, it seemed like the perfect cure for a nasty day. So off I went with the last $30 from my summer job in tow. I walked around for a bit not finding a decent sweater for under $30 and eventually came to a decision...I was going to check American Eagle and, if not there, I was going to weigh my options and possibly leave. As I was getting off the elevator something happened that was extremely cool and amazing besides: Olivia, the Polish wonderwoman, walked by. She saw me first, otherwise I wouldn't have said a word. Partially because I was going the other way :) But she said hi and walked by me. We talked for a bit. She'd gone to Pharmhouse to buy some school supplies and was meeting her host father at 9:10 by the carousel, which is the really odd feature of our mall. I know of no other mall so centered around a damn carousel. Anyhoo... I mentioned that I was there to buy a shirt and she looked interested. We walked and talked, eventually heading for Kaufmann's. She mentioned someone had told her to buy jeans there and she hadn't understood. Apparently, she's not Polish but from Berlin, although some of her family is Polish. Kaufmann's in German is pronounced Kowf-man's. In Central New Yorker, a dialect all to itself, it's Cough-mun's. Heh. Anyway, we went in and I checked out some vests. She saw one she liked and, sure enough, it looked damn good. So, Olivia picked out my vest, She also kept doing that funky back-tickle thing all night for some reason, which really feels quite good since I throw myself around a lot in Performing Arts, taking falls through chairs and such, and as a result my back aches. Dayum. It got around time to leave, and I said goodbye. She then kissed me on the cheek. Now, I understand that in Europe this is a perfectly normal thing to do. French teachers do it a lot. But this is America, baby. I stopped for a second, wondering, decided what the hell, and kissed her back. Cheek, natch. But cool nonetheless. OK. Now this whole thing is starting to get odd. I have been fondled, back-tickled, and kissed by a German supermodel in the last three days. And, to reference my subject header, don't it feel good... I also heard the Bette Midler version of Boxing tonight. Very weird. I don't like it that much, but maybe it's just Bette trying to razz it up a bit. Ah well. It's so interesting that today has been such a test of extremes. I feel very weird but dammit, I'm wearing the vest tomorrow. ~Dan "I have no quote for today...I'm too stunned to speak..." ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 22:55:03 -0400 From: Kristin Klevering Subject: Breakup issue resolved I swear, men are so freaking weird! My boyfriend dumps me from out of the blue, and then calls me the next day, telling me he knows I must be mad, but that he's been thinking about me all day and wants to work things out. I don't know what he wants to work out - things were going pretty good on my end until he dumped my ass (on his front porch, mind you). His issue was that he wanted me to come to some of these bar nights with his fellow psychiatry residents. I've been wanting to tag along, but didn't want to infringe on his time with his buddies. Never mind that I know most of the other psychiatry residents from working with them as they've rotated through my service. So, basically, this breakup was caused by a miscommunication and his admitted fear of commitment. He's a freaking psychiatrist - he should know better! I am very mad at him, and I did slap him on the head for being so stupid, but I took him back. I'm too crazy about him, geekieness and all, to tell him to fuck off because I'm very angry and hurt. Plus, this whole experience gave me a panic attack, which lasted for most of the day today, and I was at work, which made it very uncomfortable, to say the least. Not to mention the hurt and betrayl. He's such a dufus for doing this, and he admits it, but he feels better now knowing that he's with me because he really wants to be, not because he feels obligated to me. I'm not gushing here, just stating what he said. I just don't understand it, but I guess that's how men are. We went out for free food at a resident function tonight and it was fun. I really like all of his friends, I don't know why I felt like I shouldn't hang out with them like he does. Anyway, I had a lot of support from people at work today, who know him, and kept me busy and talked to me as I was freaking out. He's so embarassed that I told people I work with that he dumped me (yes, I'm a girl, that's what girls do), but he'll just have to deal with it. I also want to thank Eric, who was so sweet in how he emailed me to give me his insight and support (*gush* - I do love ya Eric). Bentent - He told me, and I quote "No matter what happens with us, I really do love Ben Folds Five". I laughed my ass off at that one! Bottom line - men are weird. But it's either deal with that or become a "cat lady". Later - Kristin ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 22:55:03 -0500 From: "Anoop Ranganath" Subject: A Moment for Us, Dan's the Man, and Kristin Kicks Butt... I was just thinking. We are so cool it hurts. Like, I've been on loads of mailing lists, ranging from techie stuff, school related stuff, performance auto mods, to other bands, and none of them kick as much ass as we do. After having said that, let me say that I apologize for not posting with the same frequency I did a few weeks earlier. I was thinking even more. rockfordfiles.org is calling our name. It's saying "Come to me" We can start our own online community, with member web pages and stuff. Screw GeoCities. We could redefine what being true BF5 fans is all about. So here's all the ideas I've been throwing around. I figure if we gather about 24 people, all throw in about 10 bucks a year, we could grab the domain name and the web space from my local ISP who I'm very tight with. We could have the same old stuff like web pages, chat rooms, discussion boards, etc, etc. But the cool stuff would be just the info about us. Documentary style coverage of ConBENtion 98. Like our own little corner of cyberspace to hang out in. Of course we need more material benefits. I'm thinking if someone comes up with a kickass logo probably involving the words Ben Folds Five and Rockford Files, that'd just kickass. One of the coolest bumper stickers I've had just said integra.ico.net for the web page for people with the same type of car as me. People invariably asked about it, and I'd have to explain. Maybe ours could just say rockford-files.org That'd kick ass, and it would be so easy to spread the word. I'm all about bumper stickers. They really are a reflection of American Culture. Anyways, just some thoughts I wanted to bounce off you guys. If you think they are just pie in the sky dreams, then say so. If not, then let's get it on (no not like that perverts) Dan - You're the man. Girls with European accents kick ass, and exchange students are invariably incredibly good looking. I've been trying to figure this out, cause I've been to Europe, and the girls there aren't that great. Maybe there's a screening process at immigration :) Actually, I do know what it is. I'm so enamored (sp?) by the accent, that I don't take notice of the rest. Kristin - Cool beans to you. I'm glad you guys got together. Well, seeya guys around, Anoop ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 18 Sep 1998 06:52:11 GMT From: "tavia -" Subject: lurve sagas hey dan and jordan, your ongoing love sagas are trey interesting. I was wavering about continuing my subscription, coz my mailflow's a bit heavy at the mo., but frankly my life is so very prosaic that I need the spice of other people's lovelives and gossip that i get from rf. cheers taves 'the minute you walked in the joint (bahh bah) I could see you were a man of distinction, a real big spender...' ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #248 *********************************