From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #185 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Thursday, July 16 1998 Volume 01 : Number 185 Today's Filings: ----------------- Fearless Leader on MTV??? Tina speaketh the truth... PENIS good day Hi there... Delilahs Hi. and so it goes...... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 09:04:20 -0600 From: Tina Archer Subject: Fearless Leader on MTV??? Hey everybody, our FL informed me yesterday that he got a call from some dude with Fanatic, the new show on MTV where obsessed fans get to interview their favorite celebs. So. . . how about flooding the RF extolling the virtues of our FL so he can forward it to the MTV dude and be on tv. Now that is a scary thought. What do people think of the new Barry Black cd? I haven't seen much discussion of it on the RF, but maybe its because I have been absent lately. I am sure most of you know that its the cd with Ben Folds on drums for many songs along with Darren and members of Archers of Loaf. Its mostly instrumental. I love the sone that reminds me of the chicken dance. Another new cd is Creeper Lagoon. Anyone hear of it? BENSUN 99 - - coming soon to a beach near you. Anne, Sandi, Markus, Scott, Hannah, Matthew, Eliz- - I miss you guys Carrie- - did ya get some nookie? Courtney--where do I get a Delilah's catalog? "They thought she was gone, but she's come back again." Peace all, T ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 11:27:21 -0600 From: "Erik C. Lyons" Subject: Tina speaketh the truth... Tis true. I was one of those people who received a BeFeFe E-mail asking me if I was their number one fan. Boy o boy, is this deja vu? I remember a certain argument on *another* maillist talking about #1 fans...It is a nightmare come true. Butt. I *did* call the guy (it took 2 days to finally get through), and chatted for a bit. He is like, "why are you their #1 fan?" I responded, "are you looking for cheese, cause I am from Illinois, not Wisconsin..." He says, "oh no, I now what you mean, I don't like cheese either..." Feeling the conversation was going to reach an unacceptable level of constipation, I moved on and explained why I should get a free ride in a limo to meet the guys. "Well, I don't think I am so much their number one fan as I am a *part* of a group of number one fans. Ever heard of the Rockford Files? Well, it is a maillist I put together and these guys and gals are the best. I would take the opportunity to meet the guys as a chance to let my good pals on the RF speak to the guys. They are BFF's number one fans." So I continued on and on about some personal stories, license plate, driving odd hours in odd states, having the opportunity to sing Kate with my daughter at the piano, yadda...yadda.....but I went back and said that it would be wrong for them to put a crying young grrl on there saying how BFF has affected their life. BFF isn't for the childun, they are for the Fjords!!!! I guess it would be cool. And here is why. We ALL know how, oh what's the word.....non-truthful Ben, Robert, and Darren are in interviews (and sarcastic). So wouldn't it be great to have me, wit in holster supplied by you guys and gals, there to counter their sardonic behavior? Oh, I would love to ask them the most biting questions you people have to offer. Plus, it would solidify how awesome the RF's are..... I can't believe I would actually stoop to this level (since who wouldn't want to win a free trip to joke with the guys), but......if you have the heart, I would appreciate your support in this endeavor.... The guy's name is Jack, and he is one tough dude to get a hold of. His number (and you can call collect, I did) is 212-654-6172. I probably called 15-20 times before getting through. I also sent a reply to the E-mail which was sent to me. That addy is: MTVerve@aol.com He even has a pager number: 888-876-6498 Flood this guy. Now believe me, I do not ask this because I think I am their number one fan. Far from it. I would love to represent all of you on MTV....and oh yes, I would mention as many of ya as I could...Certainly 160+ RF number one fans are stronger than one crying, teeny-bopper Brick fan.... Be strong. Don't let someone from the MA(most aggravating) steal our pride!! Thanks people. You guys/gals make me feel all warm and fuzzy. - -Erik ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 13:10:40 EDT From: BlueJellow@aol.com Subject: PENIS Ok, I've got answers. But first I'd like to say that I'm not in the groove with the rest of the Filers. I'm really not. I have NO f**king clue what anyone is talking about. No offense, I'm sure it makes complete sense, but it's like, um...nevermind..... The World's Largest Penis Extension A man with a mere 1.77'' penis has set a record by having his penis extended to 7.48''. Dr. Joern Ege Siana said that a combination of post-surgical stretching and surgery had lengthened the 42-year old's flaccid member 5.7''. Siana, who made the announcement in a press release and the Internet, could not be reached for comment. A colleauge, Jes Bech Mueller, said Siana was busy operating. Siana said, "Admittedly this case is unique, as penis enlargement is typically in the range of five to seven centimeters. (2 to 2.7 inches). So, to answer the question, is a penis enlargement REALLY necessary? Yes, it really is. Imagine yourself as a man with 1.77''. LOL. That woman worked wonders. I have no Bentent. Just Pentent. Lucy ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 16:44:53 PDT From: "Courtney Knopf" Subject: good day well, my morning (early afternoon really) started badly when my cd player decided it no longer liked me and went ahead and broke. Lucky for me all this occured while my dad was in my room talking to me while i organized my cds (something i do a lot...i'm a big spazz like that). Knowing the trauma that would happen if I had to face life without a CD player and 300 useless CDs, he said "well okay then. get in the car. we're going to Good Guys and we'll get you a new one." my jaw just sort of dropped and then i immediatley hauled ass out to the car. An hour later we come home with a 50 disc changer and here i sit, showered in surround sound and 50 discs on shuffle play. Needless to say, my dad rocks:D especially since I was saving up to buy a better stereo to take back to school. Now I can buy my badass leather jacket instead! I called the Fanatic guy and got his voicemail, but I will be calling back. I want the FL on, dammit!! I read the BEST book yesterday (yes, all in one day. I was so engrossed i read it in one sitting)! It's called High Fidelity and it's by Nick Hornby. It is absolutely wonderful...and even more so if you are a music snob (come on and admit it, you know you are). It's about this guy in London who owns a record store....some parts, especially one brilliant bit about the zen of mix apes, are so dead on! I only decided to pick it up becuase I heard it was in development with John Cusack attached to star...but hey, it was great! If you get a chance, definitely read it. Now I move onto a denser task with the Sweet Hereafter. After that Bridget Jones' Diary. Well hmm...I think I had more to say, but the thumping of my speakers is drowning out my thoughts.... oh yes! Tina: You can get the Delia's catalog (not Delilah's) by calling 1.800.DELIA.NY ~Courtney The Sultraness of Swing "Some days I'm afraid i'll go berserk, rip the Elvis Costello mobile down from the ceiling, throw the "Country Artists (Male) A-K" rack out into the street, go off to work in a Virgin Megastore, and never come back." ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 19:59:47 -0500 (CDT) From: LaRubia@bigfoot.com (Carrie) Subject: Hi there... Hello all. Sorry I've been a regular poo-fer-brains. My John from Case Western was in town from Saturday until this morning, and a delicious time was had by both! However, we did get into a really horrible head-on collision, hit at 50 mph, and although no one was hurt beyond bruising, I keep having really horrible flashbacks. It was one of those "if I had turned a bare fraction faster, John would have died a horrible death 1000 miles from home" things. Whoo. Scary. Remember, folks, there is nothing so important that anyone should be put into danger for in a car. My soap box for the year. Anyway, my car, which I loved more than anything I own, is totalled; my boyfriend is a nervous wreck and now back very very far away for five more weeks; my mom is mad at me for being tired, nervous, etc.; I have no way of getting to work. Just when one gets comfortable... However, I did get to see the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum here (very cool), Worlds of Fun amusement park (which has added much fun stuff since three years ago), and Armageddon (How cheesy can you get??). Plus, I got lots of action. (score) All is well. I'm pooped. Hope y'all are well. Spencer -- how do you meet awesome people who know Craig Kilbourne, my long lost brother??? You rule. Speaking of brothers, my aspiring ad agency brother happened to get a job at a KC agency that I happen to be affiliated with because the woman who is heading it up happens to have worked at my magazine and happened to teach me everything I know about design and happened to promise me a job there over winter break. As John would say: "Coincidence? Yes. Because that is what a coincidence is." Erik -- Say hi to Kate for me when you see her. :-) Good luck. I'm going back to sleep. *carrie ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 21:04:34 -0500 From: "Thomas Kluis" Subject: Delilahs FYI Speaking of Delia's (and the misspelling).....The Delilahs are a pretty cool band if you ever get a chance to check them out. They did a promo for KUMM, with their biggest song "Delilah" (I shit you not, that's the name of the song). 1.77", poor guy. I emailed MTV for FL, I suggested that Empty-Vee (possibly from the Illuminati game?) send 100+ RFers to meet the boys because "hell, you're MTV, you can afford it". Maybe get rid of that Jesse guy too.... mmm...sleep... Tom ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 15 Jul 1998 19:21:20 PDT From: "Alyson Christopher" Subject: Hi. Hi! I am a recently new subscriber AND BF5 fan. I've liked them for about 1 1/2 months now and I am absolutely in love with them! : ) Anyways, I was introduced to this band by one of my friends... hmmm... this reminds me of a problem I have.... oh well, I won't trouble you people with it. Anyways, I just wanted to get an idea of what's being taliked about on this thing, so I'd really appreciate a reply, if it's not too much to ask! Thanks! -Alyson ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 14:14:08 +1000 From: Kate_Watkins%HBH@themis.com.au Subject: and so it goes...... and so it goes, and so will you soon I suppose. Stole your idea Anne - but the weirdest thing happened! I went to see The Merry Widow in Brisbane with my cousin last night and we were talking about - - guess who? Yes! Give that person today's bonus prize! Ben Folds Five of course! Anyway, she told me that she heard parts of the CD her brother bought (I think it was s/t but I am not sure of this - her brother and I do not get along very well - odd, coz we have the same taste in music!) and she thought that they sounded a bit like Billy Joel! I mean, much as I like Billy's music, I think that they are worlds apart in sound. I mean, what do they have in common? A piano? Basically, the above song is the only one of Billy's which has touched a part of me the way BFF's songs do. Anyway, enough ranting Kate. On with the news as they say. Erik wrote : Also, is Hubba Bubba still being made? I used to chew that and Bubble Yum all the time....oh, and pop rocks... I don't know about over there but you can still get Hubba Bubba and Bubble Yum in Aussie land - in fact, I keep on seeing new flavours come out! You never see advertising for it though...... But that is the same with Chuppa Chups - I have only seen one ad for those since I was about 15!!! But I still buy them! Except now I buy the jumbo size bags of them - they are great bribe material! eg "If I give you a Chuppa Chup, will you give me back massage?" - believe me! It works well! Spencer wrote: Kate - Please forgive me. Work is hell. I know you agree. I will write tomorrow, I promise!!!! Ahhh. Promises, promises. But I do agree, work is hell. Okay - you are forgiven just this once! BTW have you put up Clayton for this Spencer for President stuff? Personally, I prefer the phrase - Dopeheads of the world unite!! :) :P :( :| :) - the many phases of a mountainous evening - except I don't know how to draw paranoid. Clayton wrote: <> All the time! I just figured that his mind was swimming around in the murky depths of the sewer.... somewhere in proximity to mine!! Erik - you are scarily like my father!!! Not that there's anything wrong with that..... after all, most of my best dirty jokes come from him! And on that note, I shall leave you all, Kate. ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #185 *********************************