From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #162 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Tuesday, June 23 1998 Volume 01 : Number 162 Today's Filings: ----------------- Re: The Rockford Files V1 #161 Bigger is Better Application for BFF Road Rules Can you see... misinterpreted lyrics... Ultrababyfat Application for BFF Road Rules My Application :P live song alterations I like going in the car Favorite quintet? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 09:40:17 EDT From: Debra1495@aol.com Subject: Re: The Rockford Files V1 #161 In a message dated 6/22/98 1:27:46 AM Mountain Daylight Time, owner-rockford- files-digest@smoe.org writes: << were "lots of fun with crayon and with pencil, you can play with picture pages, fill your day with picture pages, till bill cosby does another picture page with you!"? that's what i remember. maybe this was the version at the end, though. but what was bill's pen's name? >> Hello Bible Boys and Gospel Girls! Mr. Cosby's funked up picture page pens moniker was "Mortimer Marker". How do I remember this? I have no idea, but as always, I am chock full o' useless information. (except for the RF, in which case my useless information somehow becomes usefull!) BENTENT: I'm sorry, did I hear someone say Shatner? For the love of God, NO! Oh the humanity! Now we all have a good reason to fear "Fear of Pop". (Anyone ever hear Shatner's version of It Was A Very Good Year on the Goldenthroats CD?) Deb "It's PEOPLE, Soylent Green is PEOPLE!" - Charlton Heston, Soylent Green ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 09:02:59 -0600 From: "Erik C. Lyons" Subject: Bigger is Better >Kathy_rin writes: >I vote for a threesome! :) Me Too! FL loves a solid threesome.... >RF-TENT: Anybody else on digest format absolute love how it reads >"Today's Filings." VERY clever and cute, to boot. :) *FL looks in the mirror* " Ah yes, clever and cute, and hell, even with boots on! >Katie writes: >"...tamara easter, who later revealed to him, her innermost _thoughts_"? I always sing, "who later revealed to him her innermost thighs..." Don't ask why and I don't need any ANNEalyzing. Maybe I am just hitting puberty. >Carrie writes: >Spence (mind if I call you that?) If you do, you will have my cat looking your way everytime. (His name is Spence, named after the world famous Gerry Spence) >Clayton Smith >Do you really need the viagra spence??? Hah. Among *other* things... ______________________________________ Buenos dias mis amigos! I could go on and on with the quotes, but I have been out for a few days and there is quite a bit of reading (all good, mind you). While I was out, I was happy to see smooth Filing going on. So give yourself all a BOZO button and suck on a lollipop. So, on to RF business: RF Real World: New Orleans In the house: Grrls: Anne, Courtney, Kathryn Boys: Markus, Matthew, Spence Taking bids for one grrl...FL will live in the house only until baby Kate comes along, and then I will hand pick a trouble maker to enter the house. RF Road Rules: Europe/BFF Tour Bus In the Winny: Grrls: Sandi Boys: Eric Need 2 grrls and 2 boys....step up and submit yourself NOW.... Roles (for RW) to be assigned after FL drinks a pot of coffee.... That's all. Carry on (my wayward son)... and, btw, as far as movies go: CHRIST! You guys like a lot of flicks. I thought favorite was more particular. Me: Braveheart, Bridge on the River Kwai, Star Wars trilogy, MAMBO KINGS! (antonio BEFORE US stardom), and Watership Down. Everything else is just a good movie, although, I will sit my arse in front of the tube for hours on end for ANY WWII movie. Battle of the Bulge, Guns of Naverone, D. Dozen, etc., etc. you get the idea. AND, I am a sucker for musicals like Guys and Dolls (fav), South Pacific, Music Man (I was Winthrop!), King and I....yadda yadda.... THAT'S it.... ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 10:44:46 EDT From: Lennonita@aol.com Subject: Application for BFF Road Rules Name: Megan R. Occupation: Student, actress, director, Jason's woman, and crazed BFF fan Place of employment: None. And it's staying that way. Hobbies/interests: Acting, music, playing in a band (The Rented Valentines), attempting to write, biting the heads off gummi bears and switching them around with different colored bodies, fighting off people who say, "You're so smart! Why are you going into acting?"; proselytizing Ben Folds Five to all, dreaming up script ideas, learning Billy Joel songs on piano, all things Kevin Smith, breaking my toe, trying to act with stupid dogs for low-budget TV shows that no one will ever watch, but hey, the experience looks good on my resume Three interesting things about your childhood: 1) I had a mole on my eye when I was little. Not near my eye. On my eyeball. I have a scar there now. It's not that noticeable. 2) I taught myself to read when I was three 3) I learned how to play piano before I could read. I had to sit on phone books to reach the keys. Favorite BFF song: Dammit! This is like asking me to pick my favorite child! A sprinkling of choices: Philosophy, Alice Childress, OAD, Missing the War, Last Polka, Boxing, Fair, Eddie Walker Favorite BFF moment: When I got me and my group backstage at the Vegas show and met them. Then when I asked Ben for his autograph, saying, "Yeah, I know, I feel tacky doing this," he kind of stopped, looked me in the eye, and said, very sincerely, "No, it's not tacky." Aw. Such a nice guy! He even let me hug him! How has BFF affected your life: I could write for pages on this. In a nutshell ("help! What am I doing in this giant nutshell?!") their music is excellent and even the melodies of it alone move me. Combined with its intelligent, witty, and insightful lyrics it's awesome. They've put into words and emotions things I couldn't express and feelings that, at a certain time, I hadn't felt yet. WAEA has come to represent my summer of last year, which was the single most influential time on my life...I hear that music, and I'm back at UCLA camp. Why should you be picked for RRBFF: I think I get along with a variety of people in weird situations because I seem to know more screwed up people than normal ones. I used to think this was weird, but then I realized...I liked it that way. Usually. Plus, I've already met Sandi and thought she was nice. Other reasons: I love Love LOVE road trips. When I was 15 my family and I took a two-month road trip around the east coast and it was one of the most enjoyable and entertaining experiences of my entire life. I'm always looking for an excuse to do fun things. If they're Ben Folds Five related, yay! All the better! To me, life couldn't get much better than that. Respectfully submitted, Megan R. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 12:22:40 -0400 From: Anne Lyons Subject: Can you see... that I don't know if it's you or if it's me If it's one of us I'm sure we both will see Will you look at me and tell me? Amy... Whatchu wanna do? Hey all! Well, I hope your Dad's Days were nice. Special kudos to you dads and dads-to-be out there! What was that? how was my weekend? Well, thanks for asking! It was very nice, thank you. Friday night we went to go see the X-Files... and it kicked as much ass as I thought it would, yesindeedy it did. Saturday I spent at a family gathering, but since my family is about as cool as they come... it rocked. A Good Time Was Had By All... as we used to say in college! And Sunday... well... Sunday was a lot of fun, too. My two brothers and I took my Dad out golfing to a local country club. And we had a blast. But there were a few problems... first of all... if anyone has been following the recent New England weather (translation: those of you who actually live in New England, or who are old like me and watch the Weather Channel while commercials are on on the other stations) -- you know that we have had 10 inches of rain in June. which is approximately two inches more than we usually get all summer. We also had 12 straight days of rain in May, so we really didn't need all this much precipitation. So anyway... it has rained every day for about 2 weeks. So the course was pretty wet. Wet enough that they weren't allowing carts on the course. So there we were *walking* 18 in the sweltering humidity. Plus my shoes were a bit too tight -- and that, combined with the wet inside my sneakers equalled blisters. Actually, the skin on my feet was actually wrinkled (like when you soak in a bath for too long) from all the moisture when I took my sneaks off! Also, all of us forgot sunscreen, and the club was sold out of it, so the four of us get pretty burnt. My neck should begin peeling in approximately 18 hours. Oof. On the plus side: I shot a 51 on the back nine, which ain't too shabby, considering this is only the 3rd time I've played a full 18, and only about the 12th time I've golfed at all (not counting pitch-n-putts and driving ranges). Although it took us 5 and a half hours to finish the course... it was definitely the best golf of my life! *grin* Not that you care. Just sharing. *DREAMS* Sorry for the wait, everyone... things got a bit busy. But here are all your Annealyses... Courtney: The Conan Dream. Well... to be brief... it was pretty sexually charged. A lot of the annealysis coems from the words you use to describe the dream actions. And since you use lascivious... you probably already get the point! *grin* But seriously... someone you have a "thing" for licks a mic stand and then hands it to you... you then follow that person down to a basement and then back up again to applause from an audience. Basically, I would say... you really don't have any sexual hangups, do ya Courtney? *grin* Sara: The Peachtree Run/Alien/Paparazzi Dream. Hmmmm... it seems like a chase scene out of Hard Day's Night or SpiceWorld or The Monkees or Austin Powers... so it probably was a fame dream... and isn't there a scene in SpiceWorld that takes place in the bathroom? Hmmmmm... The FL may have to give further interpretation! Jen Relapathy: The Barefoot with Darren Dream: Well... water and water sports usually have something to do with sex... So anyway... you and Darren were fishing together. (!) And then he caught a pickle. (!) Which you then decided to give to the needy. (!) I'm thinking you are getting enough to give it away. Or, you like pickles. Of course, pickles also connote pregnancy... not that I am implying that you are about to have Darren's love child or anything. It was just a thought... Anyway... since you are barefoot you are obviously comfortable with sex... = ) Katie: The BFF at My High School Dream: Hmmmm... the meaning of the sun hat. Well... hats can obscure and hide. So maybe you are hiding something that BFF songs tend to uncover? (You wear the hat until Ben takes it for himself...) Are there lyrics that describe something particularly well that you are just now admitting even to yourself? That's one take on it... Or... you all have been eating strange foods just before bedtime. That's usually the explanation for my dreams! *grin* So, Ben as the IT boy.... hmmmmm? And yes... for those of you who do not get EW... it was Ben, not Ben Folds Five, who got named as an IT guy. Too bad for Darren and Rob, though... maybe one or both of them should get involved in a scndal to draw more attention to themselves. Do I see rehab? Or a possible relationship with Courtney Love? Or Drew Barrymore? Or both? Anyway... glad to see Ben get some well-deserved recognition. Especially from EW. I mean, after all, they pretty much panned NBP (as I recall) and on their review of summer movie soundtracks... even though they were saying that BFF was a highlight of Godzilla... they wrote that BFF was doing a fine imitation of Joe Jackson. Oof. So anyway... good to see them (or Ben, at least) get some positive ink! That's about all! I'm off to clean off my desk and prep for VACA time! Wooooooohoooo! Later! - -Anne P.S. I am a great team player of Trvial Pursuit. I have much to add... *grin* I keep... Falling in and out of love with you... ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 12:51:14 -0400 From: Sean Kiely Subject: misinterpreted lyrics... for the longest time I thought it was... "it's really not that you can't see the forest from the trees, you never been out in the woods so long" and my dad was convinced that there was a song called the Ballad of Who Could Care Less... And... "Now a big headed woman, one angry dwarf and 200 solemn faces and you" - -- Sean Kiely "http://www2.cybernex.net/~jekiely/" Sean Kiely's New and Improved Static-Free non-frames anything/nothing web page extravaganza with lotsa links. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 13:18:37 EDT From: BlueJellow@aol.com Subject: Ultrababyfat Hello folks, I just read the Armchair I got today. I only got one, surprisingly enough. And someone yelled at me. Realizing that no one was going to yell at me here, I decided to snuggle up to a compositon to the Rockford Files. Yes yes, what a peaceful enviornment..... I never really knew how to get on the IRC, and well, Katie helped me. So I guess I'll join Scott and Sanders in there whenever..... I saw the X files movie. I liked it alot. I took my mother, and afterwards I drove her home. THis experience was scarier than the movie (I only have a permit, hehehe). I don't know when I'll be driving again........ My favorite movie has always been The Muppets Take Manhattan. Cause it's just SO cool and Jim Henson is my personal hero. The music is pretty good too. I can perform every song from memory, it's very stupid. But my musical review includes me singing into this foam/microphone thing my sister made in science class. Fabulous. (I'm not being very serious here) I was thinking, if any of the boys were to have a child, that child would have to be the COOLEST kid. EVER. I mean, imagine growing up with an uncle Ben or Darren or Robert. That would be awesome. And I was thinking of something else that kinda scares me. If Ben moves to Australia, what would Darren and Robert do? I mean, they both have girlfriends at home......... So what's the deal? Anyway, it's none of my buisness of course, but it makes a good conversation piece. Actually, I don't wanna think about it. My fave bands, or performers: Randy Newman, Foo Fighters, Sarah Maclahlan (don't have any albums handy, I can't spell her name!), Jem and the Holograms (hehe), Radiohead, G. Love and Special Sauce (coming to Jackson, whoo hoo!), Bond (Bang out of order is a GREAT album), the Squirrel Nut Zippers, and um.......lots more. Go see Ultrababyfat, they're in New York 8:45pm on Wed. June 24th at Brownie's (Ave. A between 10th and 11th Sts.. So yeah, go see them..... Sorry this was such a long post! I needed to write, about anything...something.... Lucy "There is a lack of horse heads in this world"---Ken ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 14:16:10 -0500 From: "Scott Schneider" Subject: Application for BFF Road Rules Taking a cue from Megan... - --- Name: Scott "Dawson assface gritboy" Schneider Occupation: Webgeek & student (in season). Place of employment: AT&T Web Site Services, Madison, WI. Hobbies/interests: Music (Ben Folds Five), staying up much later than I should, obsession with un-named IM/IRC parties, denying connections to Dawson and/or Jim Carey, watching movies, bass, bass (duplication: one is a fish, the other is not), annoying mass peoples with drivel-filled RF posts. Three interesting things about your childhood: 1) I feel down the stairs and had to go to the hospital (read: 'cracked' head open) because I was rushing to see Sesame Street. I reportedly asked my mother whether I could go to the hospital after Sesame Street was over because I wasted to watch the show first. 2) I had several Truman-type delusions. I think I'm okay now. 3) I was never cool in school. No, but REALLY. I was a complete dork. Who'd have guessed? Favorite BFF song: Emaline or Evaporated. Or maybe Philosophy. It's so hard to pick! Favorite BFF moment: Atlanta. You know if you were there. You'll never understand if you weren't. How has BFF affected your life: Enormously! I've gotten to meet TONS of cool new people because of them, they've been a backing soundtrack to important parts of my life whether nothing else would have fit... uhh, there's a song for every mood I'm in. It's all about the people and the experiences, though. Why should you be picked for RRBFF: Girls just wanna have fuu-un! (And I just wanna be by them)... umm, yeah. I get along with people, and am willing to try anything one too many times! Scott ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 15:54:06 EDT From: ILuvRobS@aol.com Subject: My Application :P *warning, this post is really long, if you aren't interested about me, then don't read it and skip down, if you are interested about me (aw..thanks) then read on* Name: Katie "I'm the biggest idiot in the world" Buckner (Yes, there's a town in Mo. named after me.. I'm so wonderful :P) Occupation: Tempermental teenager, chock full of angst. Oh.. and sometimes student. Hobbies/Interests: Following Ben Folds Five around the country. Thinking of new buzzwords, and attempting to use them around my friends, annoying the hell out of them. Meterology, the weather facisnates me, it's what I've wanted to do ever since I was like 3 years old (be a meterologist that is). Playing the clarinet. Marching band, yes I'm a band nerd, there's nothing wrong with that. Hoping I get my braces off before I'm 28 (This october? Yeah..right.) Being obsessed with Sanders and Heath. (Uh-huh). Snapple, because anything made from the freshest stuff on earth has to be good. My little cousins, because my cousin Jack is going to be a rock star. (Sandi: he already does the metal sign, and screams: ROCK!! it's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.) Kickin' cola bubble gum. Square One, or whatever it was called, because Mathnet taught me everything I needed to know about math, plus I loved learning those little tricks with numbers to piss off my friends. Ssurrfing the web. Hunting for night crawlers, and not even going fishing. And last but not least, The Simpsons, because it's one of the few shows that I can watch in reruns, and still crack up, and it's one of the few shows that is consistantly funny on television. Three interesting things about your childhood: 1.) First thing I ever read was a monopoly card, it was the Beauty Pagent one. My mom went into convulsions, and imediatley into shock. Well.. not really, but I think she was really excited. I don't really remember anything except that it was the You Won A Beauty Pagent card, collect 10 dollars. 2.) I broke my collarbone when I was 3ish. And you know why I did? Because my shoe was untied. Don't think that having your shoe untied won't cause you any harm. Because it will. 3.) Most Tramautic Part of my childhood: When I was 5ish, I went to the doctor. He looked in my ears and had a fit because there was wax in them. He left the room, and came back with this huge metal hook thing. He shoved it in my ear, and yanked it out. My ear hurt for 6 days afterwards, I cried for 3 hours. The only thing that cheered me up was my mom took me to get a Hardee's hand puppet rabbit. Wow, I have a vivid memory. * Bonus * : I was obsessed with She-Ra when I was growing up. I have every action figure, even Catra. And all the horses, plus the sky castle. Favorite BFF song: Hmm.. that's a good question. I really enjoy Video, because of the rolling piano. But then again I really enjoy Evaporated because of it's beauty. Of course everyone picks Evaporated, so I'm going with Video. Favorite BFF moment: Oh there's so many. Atlanta goes up there. But one of my favorite moments was with Sandi and Calvin after the Lawrence show. We went out to eat.. and well, some of the things we were saying weren't exactly nice. (Can you believe it?) When we went to pay, Calvin looked like she was going to throw up and ran out of the place. We followed, I went back to see who was in there, kinda like a spy. It turns out Robert and Doug were in there. It was well interesting. I also enjoyed the Chicago HORDE hurricane. I remember my mom saying something like, OH MY GOD WE'RE GOING TO DIE! because we were out in the parking lot for it. Scary stuff I tell you. Favorite moment with a band member?: Hmm.. I think after the Chicago Riveria show was one of my favorite moments. It was Emily's first time meeting Darren (was it REALLY?) and it was classic. I think Darren said something to the effect of "you guys are the coolest people here." It was nice. The Riveria show was very cool, even though I only got to hear it. How has BFF affected your life: Wow, that's a toughie. I think it's kinda given me a boost of self-confidence. I'm kinda a geek at school (KINDA?!) but I feel far superior to all of them. How many teenagers at my high school can say that someone semi-famous knows them by name. Not many, and even though I'm not really very well liked by some people. I always have my BFF. (Aw.. *teardrop* isn't that nice?) Why should you be picked for RRBFF: I've already spent enough time with Sandi. Um.. I've been to 18 BF5 concerts, in 10 different states. I've travelled as far as NYC to see the boys for 10 minutes. (Ok.. well I went to see my dad too) Plus, I've got the looks, I've got the brains..wait a second, that's wayy too cheesy. I think you should choose me because I've got an amazinggg personality. Calvin: I'm wearing your pants. I promise I will send them back ASAP.. when do you want 'em? Anne: I think I've been drinking too much Coke before going to bed. It could be the late nights too. I don't know.. maybe Ben Folds Five has kinda uncovered something in my life. (Ooo.. a deep dark secret.. ahhhh.. tune into the next episode in Katie's life to find out more!) Sandi: Where's my drunken post? I want my drunken post. Alright, enough of this. It's getting too long and out of hand. The Anne Lyons Wannabe, - - Katie ps. There is a town in Mo. called West Lyons, your e-mail address reminds me of it. There is no East Lyons or Lyons, there's just West Lyons, I don't know.. at least we don't have a Pole Cat River. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 16:20:51 -0400 From: vito Subject: live song alterations remember the old October-November tour... the last tour before brick came out... anyway, at (most) every show, they played underground. but it wasnt any ordinary underground... the intro was totally improvised into this massive 5 minute thing where robert usually did something hilarious. On nov. 1st i saw them at pease auditorium in ypsilanti, mi. you all remember roberts famous rap intro: "wave your hands in the motherfuckin aiya, like ya just dont caya..." and who could forget his famous "wanna be a disco diva" intro!? anyway, i want anyone who witnessed some sort of song alteration at a concert to let me know (underground, julianne intro, song for tyhe dumped, brick played fast, WHATEVER). i am starting a new section on my page, and would really appreaciate it. a sound clip would be great, but just a simple description of what they did will work just as well, just provide me with the date of when it was done. thanks whatever and ever vito BBB EEEE N N FFFF OO L DD SS FFFF I V V EEEE B B E NN N F O O L D D S F I V V E BBB EEE N N N FFF O O L D D S FFF I V V EEE B B E N NN F O O L D D S F I V V E BBB EEEE N N F goATman1@geOCitiES.com F I V EEEE - ----- http://www.Geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/7544/bf5.html ----- ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 16:00:57 -0500 (CDT) From: wplusb@ix.netcom.com Subject: I like going in the car So, I got an invitation in the mail to my five-year high school reunion. I can't believe they found me. I thought I had burned all those bridges, but apparently, I misjudged their swimming skills. I didn't want to go. Five years isn't long enough. Anyway, as if I needed a deciding factor, they misspelled the name of the street where they are meeting. Holmes...not Homes. That was enough for me. Now, I carefully check to see if *I* misspelled anything... Sandi asked: <> They have their moments. Meg proposed: <> Mine comes from a girl standing outside of some convenient store in Somerset, WI. Sandi, Calvin and I had just left the store. Ben was in front of us. This girl was standing by her car possibly on her bumper taking pictures of Ben as he walked on the other side of the street. As we walk toward the car, she says, "Did you know who that was? Were you talking to that guy? That was Ben Folds Five." "Yeah, it was." Well, we laughed. Or... The many folks Sandi and I encountered on the way to Vegas who all asked, "So, what brings you to Vegas?" "Oh, well, we came to see this band play." "Which band?" "Ben Folds Five." "What do they sing?" "That 'Brick' song." "Oh, I'd probably know it if I heard it." "Yep." Or... I left the self-titled album at my parent's house when I visited at Christmas (I know...). So, my mom got to looking at the liner notes. She then asked my younger Metallica-lovin' brother, "So, what's the deal with this band? How many people are in it?" "Duh, mom...five! Ben Folds Five." "Well, that's not so clever." They now know the error of their ways. Emily ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 21:25:36 -0400 From: Jessica Brandt Subject: Favorite quintet? Carrie: are you referring to BFF as a "quintet" or are you referring to someone else when you say "our favorite quintet is coming to CWRU"? btw i'm from cleveland too. good luck with your magazine job! jay: i added ya to my buddy list. watch out! The Natural is probaly one of my all-time fave movies, it always makes me cry too but that's cuz it's so heart warming. i've seen that a million times as well (oh yeah, Redford is HOT, too) As for major leagued, well I'm from Cleveland so i can't help but understand it! :) bentent: I think Eddie Walker is such a great song, musically. BusStopTent: Chuck sent me a Bus Stop CD as well as a Snuzz CD to review for the july shrub. i relly liked them both, i think Snuzz more than BS. the lead singer (brit??) really reminds me of someone 9well, his voice) and i can't tell if it's ben or someone else. maybe the lead singer from MU330? (anyone?) desperately wanting a new BFF album as well Jess **************************************************************** I'm not just naked, I'm Naked for Jesus!!! * --+-Read The Shrubbery-+-- * http://www.theshrubbery.prohosting.com --New Every Month- -Humor, News and More-- * Ben Folds Five International Fans Page * http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Backstage/6814/fans.html --Get a "Ben" Pal- -Now Spans 11 Countries-- **************************************************************** ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #162 *********************************