From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #157 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Thursday, June 18 1998 Volume 01 : Number 157 Today's Filings: ----------------- ruminations 1.0 Re: The Rockford Files V1 #156 Calling all UK Fjordians with longing for mud mud mud Re: The Rockford Files V1 #156 Reid Fleming Awright. Pineapples and Is Titanic in yet? The City Too Busy To Hate viability RF #156 The Last Days of Disco Temptation Waits... Sorry, no fan fic, actually a fan movie, I guess...(Part 3) Sorry, no fan fic, actually a fan movie, I guess....(Part 2) Sorry, no fan fic, actually a fan movie, I guess...(Part 4) Sorry, no fan fic, actually a fan movie, I guess....(Part 1) Puck....clearing the air! Uhm is this is Moody Blues newsletter? Two posts! woohoo! Finishing Up... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 04:15:54 EDT From: F2G2@aol.com Subject: ruminations 1.0 so i've been lurking. here's what's happening. e: jason and i made homebrew. using indian pale ale hops and a malt akin to one you might find in a bock beer somewhere. strangebrew, yes? anyhow, it wound up becoming very surprisingly light, with a pleasing first taste, a medium body and just darker than bass in coloration. a light afterbite, maybe with a quarter of the strength of a more bitter brew. niiiiiiiice. oh.......did i mention that we've determined it to have a surprisingly high alcohol content due to the time we let in ferment and the carbonation time in the bottle? niiiiiiiiiiiice. BENSUN 99. it's been mentioned. pandora's box has been opened. since we must have it someplace warm and sunny, might i suggest hawaii? ben or no ben? (dean and trea just this last weekend informed me that the volcano state is where they intend to get hitched. markus has a grass skirt and i'm sure would be thrilled to model it for any and all fjordians; i've got the viagra.) hawaii? obligatory bentent. listened to 'mitchell lane' and 'she don't use jelly' today. they felt good......reminded me of the days of yore. time capsules and other things. this will mean absolutely nothing to any of you, but i saw an old best friend named james whitmire this weekend, again, after 6.....7 years absence. he tracked me down, wondering about me. the experience has certainly floored me, forcing me to ponder time and it's passage. it was very cool, yet somehow strange. it made me think. meg leaves in 5 1/2 days for europe. matthew in the deck. amon tobin "permutations" jeff buckley "sketches for......1 and 2" rufus wainwright "s/t" london suede "sci fi lullabies 1" my friend lori's band 'strip'. they rock in an "i'd love to kick gwen stefani in the head," sorta way. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 04:42:01 EDT From: Debra1495@aol.com Subject: Re: The Rockford Files V1 #156 In a message dated 6/17/98 1:27:46 AM Mountain Daylight Time, owner-rockford- files-digest@smoe.org writes: << I dunno if anyone gives a rat's wet, soggy arse >> Oh, Marcus, I do give a rat's wet, soggy arse! But usually only at Halloween to the neighbor kids. (Who taste like cats!) Sandi, right on Empress Queen of plastic pants! You make me want to put on my entire Tupperware ensemble and join on the new BFF material campaign! Petitions, pickett lines, sit ins, bomb threats. We won't rest untill they release! Is the Militia in on this with me? Just had a rollicking good time Saturday night with Cousin Oliver. He was giddy after just having returned from seeing Rick Springfield and the embodiment of evil itself: Sigfreid and Roy. (I will save this rant for another post.) BENTENT: Uh, yoga. I don't think that this is conducive to rocking new material. If I hear about this next album being an Australian/Middle Eastern Mysticism thing, I think I will strangle myself with my Hindu hat. It may just be a rumor, but I hear that Ben will be giving up the piano for a sitar. He feels that a sitar, bass, drums, trio would be far more original and thus complete the concept for the new album. Ravi lives on... I shouldn't stay up this late. My posts are a bit ridiculous. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 15:31:29 +0100 From: David.J.Holloway@student.shu.ac.uk Subject: Calling all UK Fjordians with longing for mud mud mud Hey y'all I guess summer is here at long long last... true it's still dark at nine at night, rains alot and we have strong enough winds to suggest a hurricane season really should exist but one redeeming feature cancels out all the above; Glasonbury. Granted it's a bit shit right now - filled with dull, boring bands and middle-class, middle-age acting, middle of the road teenagers thinking it's cool watching Julian Cope on stage from half a mile away while drinking flat warm beer. Usually the only good reason to go is to take consumate amounts of acid and laugh at the naked OAP's tree hugging hoping to find God before they shuffle off this mortal coil and end up in trouble with the big man for taking consumate amounts of acid at the Isle of Wight festival. But I digress as this year we have a bonus. Yes, the boys are indeed back in town and hopefully this year they'll get to play before the stage sinks. So I suggest a grand old meeting of minds so we can all not pogo or crowdsurf together. IE - does anyone want to meet up? Since I don't know where when or what they'll be playing I suggest we huddle outside the dance tent (usually good meeting point I find) approximately one hour before their gig and we can find our way there together. In the words of Bluto "who's with me?" Not sure who or what to look for? I'll be the excessively pierced bleach head in a 'never cool in school' T-shirt and probably mud-splattered combats. Either that or mail me, but not to this address as I shuffle home soon to experience home comforts before living it rough for five nights... mail me at dave-holloway@usa.net Hope to see you there, later alligators Dave ben folds five: helmet heads http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/lot/5009 (**currently with technical problems**) ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 12:50:42 -0500 From: john_oc@juno.com Subject: Re: The Rockford Files V1 #156 Hiya all. This is my first pos to RF. I have been lurking for quite some time. Hi Calvin!!! Remember me from the after show that never happened in Cleveland? Drop me a line. Please! Sandi, shall I still keep you juno address in my book, or do you have a new one since the move...? Oh well, with total bentent in mind I wanted to say how kick-ass it is that the band is playing Evaporated now in their sets. I wonder if it is so they can trick the fans who think Brick is about to be played and then bust into Evaporated. Just a thought. Either way, even though I KNOW that Hard Rock Live is going to cut Evaporated out, wouldn't it be so kewl if they left it in? Finally the song that has only been played live some 3 times gets brodcast on national television? Kewl. Mad props to whoever said they liked the Cubs. My aunt used to work for the Tribune so I was born a Cubs fan when she showered me with Cubs gifts and took me to a bunch of games...I remember the day Mark Grace had to buy a pad for his glove because a young shortstop by the name of Shawon Dunston threw too hard. Go Cubs! If anyone taped the Atlanta show where evaporated, emaline, air and freebird were played, please backchannel me. Being a BFF completist, I will probably have stuff you need as these are just about the last live songs I need. Thanks!! Ciao! John Boyer Indie Rock Director 101.5 WOBN - FM Westerville, Ohio np - sonic youth, evol "Close your eyes and you'll see nothing at all, or maybe it's just everything at once." --Modest Mouse _____________________________________________________________________ You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail. Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866] ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 12:08:20 -0500 (CDT) From: wplusb@ix.netcom.com Subject: Reid Fleming Well, I think it just could have been at the Riviera in Chicago, Calvin. A night to remember...ah, oh well. Yeah, I've noticed that Ben does like to change clothes often in one day...and he seems to gravitate towards those who do the same...any thoughts? >>I, for one, cannot wait to read Emily's story. She is *Fucking Amazing*, to say the least.>> Frock it! You make a young girl blush. As always, thanks. Chips Ahoy! Emily ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 13:31:32 EDT From: Lennonita@aol.com Subject: Awright. Haven't posted in a while...I was waiting for the MA/RF war to die down before I reappeared. Thanks to all (Anne, especially) who helped and/or listened to my ramblings, etc. Everything's all resolved. Non-Bentent before I find something real to say... Based on the ravings of various people on this list (the specific people I forget and I'm too lazy to pull up my old RF ishes (ishes? Is that the plural of ish? It is now) and see exactly who), I went out and bought Semisonic's Feeling Strangely Fine and Jeff Buckley's Grace. And lemme tell you...thank you so much. Sometimes I feel like a sheep when I run out and buy things people have said they liked, but this time I don't care because it's so good. I think "Hallelujah" is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. Ah. So good. All of it. Now it's MY turn to proselytize the wonders of Jeff Buckley and Dan Wilson. Also, the Sean Lennon album is great, I wholly recommend it to all. It's very lounge-music-y and mellow. Pseudo-Bentent: My boyfriend, who is amazing, got backstage at the Jones Beach concert and met them, for the third time, along with Beck. He can get in anywhere. Then the next day he saw the Hard Rock Live taping. Which means he has seen them six times live and once on a web broadcast that was actually of a concert that I was at. (Since we're a continent away from each other, it had meaning, sort of.) I know it doesn't compare to Sandi's impressive tally, but...having only seen them twice and met them once, I'm jealous anyway. Could someone re-post the address for the site with TechnoBrick? I lost it and in a morbid sort of way I want to hear it. A belated welcome to all you refugees from the MA. I'm still on the MA, and I still like it, and I think things have calmed down a bit, but I welcome newcomers to the Fold (ha ha). Though I have to admit I feel a little guilty now that the MA has a notice at the top that says "I will remove you from the list if you don't post about the band" and I posted an extremely LONG off- topic post a while ago about not taking things personally so I feel kinda dumb, but...whatever. Hi to all of you who wrote me. This post is long and dull. Sorry. Hey FL...when's lil' Kate due? Megan ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 14:02:19 EDT From: AHopk52682@aol.com Subject: Pineapples and Is Titanic in yet? In a message dated 98-06-15 12:34:11 EDT, you write: > What does everyone think of the fact that Ben > still remembers how to play the piece he played in his piano recital at age > 9? > "Pineapple Rag" or something like that...by Master Joplin....anyone care to > confirm on the title of the piece? It's very famous, I believe... Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin. He remembers it because it's well-written and it's easy. A ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 19:37:19 EDT From: FieryLox@aol.com Subject: The City Too Busy To Hate That, my Filin' friends, is the EX-slogan for the city of Atlanta. Sad, isn't it? Anyone on the list into slogan making? Anyway, it's taken a couple of days, but I've finally worked up the stamina* to type out an account of the last Ben Folds Five show of this US tour. Atlanta: time, 2:15 PM. My friends Samantha, Joslyn, and I walked up to the front doors of the Tabernacle. Being extremely warm AND curious, we found a door that didn't have chains on it and snuck inside the venue. It was nice and cold down near the cellar, but got warmer the higher up you went...I'll come back to that! So we walked up these stairs to the BFF stage, and lo and behold, who should come walking up from the pit but drummer Darren Jessee! I got pretty excited and walked up to him...we said "hi", I asked if he remembered me ("no, I just woke up!"--said in that Darren voice, any of you who've talked to him before a show must know what I mean!) and we asked him if it was OK if we could stay inside the venue for a while and chill. (Literally! It's hot in Atlanta.) So we went up to the balcony, played a few games of Uno, and suddenly Robert came out on stage. I about had a bird...I ran to the railing and screamed "Robert! Hi! Do you remember me?" To my surprise, he did...so we cracked jokes, I asked if they were going to play Emaline (they did!) and my friends and I sat back down. We never got to see the soundcheck! However, right after we talked to Robert, he went somewhere and all of a sudden "Low Rider", by War, started playing. So on whatever was playing, there was some War, some reggae, and some (I THINK it was) Kenny G...if it wasn't, it sure sounded like it. Anyway, we got toasty up in the balcony (hot air rises, you know!) and went back downstairs where we ran into this Amazonian blond woman who ordered us outside. Well, after that was Snuzz, who were excellent--it was hilarious to see all these people thinking that Chuck was Ben...this cute, Jewish-looking guy (:-) named Jordan told me that all of the people around him were like, "That's Ben on bass!". Oops! I particularly liked "Lemonade"--I wish I would've had some. The actual Ben Folds Five show was FABULOUS! I can't say that it was better than the last show here, (for personal reasons) but the music was great...I'm SO GLAD they opened with Fair! I had all this energy stored up, and I probably used about half of it just pogoing during Fair (go Sandi!) and Philosophy! I screamed waaaaay too early for Emaline...no one else knew what it was, I suppose, but that was awesome, too. All of the slow songs were shoved in a big block in the middle of the show...no Smoke, alas! The closer was amazing, too. I was glad to hear Evaporated and a bit disappointed, to my surprise, during Brick. Well, I'm off to Semisonic tonight! Just saw them at an intimate Live X yesterday, they're aces! (Thanks Ginger!--she's magic) Toodles! Sara P.S. I'd buy stock in Rufus Wainwright. If I could. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 17:28:21 PDT From: "Courtney Knopf" Subject: viability Hey kids.... As many of you may (or may not) know, at USC I have my own radio show, and as my dad has been in the radio industry since 1969, it kind of runs in my family. Now my dad is in the midst of syndicating a radio show with ex-NBA player Mychal Thompson, and big spazz (in a good way), has taken notice of my disdain for the music being played on the radio lately. And I KNOW I'm not the only one who is dissastisfied (understatement) with the crap spewing forth from commercial radio... and my dad has it in his head that I should go and try to sell the idea of non-mainstream music as a format to radio stations around the corner. I guess it would basically be college radio without the college. of course I was like "yeah, whatever." But I got to thinking... I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired of settling for mediocrity on the airwaves, would it be viable to actually try and do this? So I come to you, Fjordians! What do you think about this? I guess if I actually wanted to try and sell this, I'd have to come up with a proposal and featured artists or wahtever...but that's a ways off I guess. I just want to know your thoughts on this. Am I being crazy "pie in the sky" girl, or is this a real possibility? yeah, word. ~Courtney The Sultraness of Swing "You aren't a member of the Wu-Tang Clan! You not even in a Tribe Called Quest!" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 21:14:04 -0400 From: Kristin Klevering Subject: RF #156 I swear, that was one of the funniest RF's I've read in a long time! Mind you I was running late this morning and didn't get to read it - I usually read it as I'm wiping the sleepiness from my eyes before going to work. The highlights for me: Vito - Thank you so much for giving us the Snuzz songs via Real Audio! That was really nice of you, and very much appreciated, at least from me. But I suspect that others here are just as grateful. Eric - I appreciated your concern for me after my car accident. You just have to look after Eris more closely from now on! But I did get a private email from Chris (I hope you don't mind), a fellow fjordian, who said that he also got into a car accident while listening to "Dr. Pyser" a month ago! So please, all of you out there, take caution while listening to that song while in your car. It could be dangerous. Bottom line - it was just plain funny as hell! I finally got to the "RF attack on the MA" posts on the MA at work today - I've been backlogged since I've been busy at work lately, and was really getting a kick out of them! I'm on the MA at work (I work for the government, so many MA's don't make it past "big brother"), and get the RF at home. I think that's part of the reason why I thought that #156 was so funny - it was so much more relaxed and no one was slamming each other left and right. I haven't posted to the MA since Thanksgiving of last year, but I like to read it when I get down time at work. I also usually read the RF when I'm just getting up in the morning for work, when I'm still half-asleep, so I think I miss a lot being in that state. This last RF I read when I got home from work and had time to relax before reading it. Don't drink and drive, and don't listen to "Theme From Dr. Pyser" when you drive, either. Later - Kristin ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 22:54:09 EDT From: Jen116nyc@aol.com Subject: The Last Days of Disco Hey all! I'm enjoying this list quite a bit... Courtney: Go see Last Days of Disco right now! I too love Robert Sean Leonard since the days of Dead Poets. I still cry when he kills himself. He is very cute in Last Days of Disco, and there were strange coincidences between his character Tom and my friend Tom, which made the movie all the more amusing for me. Also you get to see him DANCE! Hmmm....speaking of dancing...I've been meaning to rent Swing Kids (even though it is worthy of mocking). I will fulfill my dream and take swing dance lessons this summer. Joygasm!!!!! Who came up with Joygasm? I remember it from the days when I was subscribed to the MA under my college address. Bentent: I've noticed something about live performances by Ben Folds Five that are aired on TV. The editors seem to edit out the essence of Ben. The piano stool throwing-standing on top of the piano-antics never seem to make it on the air. From what I've heard from people who have seen the live tapings of Sessions and Hard Rock Live that stuff does happen during the tapings. Do the TV people want to keep the calm/Brick image of Ben Folds Five? Just wondering, Jen ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 23:26:05 EDT From: HndOfChaos@aol.com Subject: Temptation Waits... In a message dated 98-06-17 03:27:14 EDT, you write: > But don't you be puttin' > out your cigarette butts in dirty glasses...if I see one more butt in the > sink I will.... Do what, E.? Okay, well, then, suppose I start using one of your shoes as an ashtray, then? What? Respecting other people's property? That isn't supposed to happen on The Real World, is it? - - - KATHRYN ISNT PUCK!!!! shes a normal person...gee whiz! Clayton: I'm Puck? I'm NOT Puck? Who the hell is Puck??? Hhhmmmmm....regressing back to eighth grade...Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. Puck...was...the henchmen of the King of the Faeries. Correct? (Who's a fairy? I'm not a fairy! You're gay, too?) But thanks for telling me I'm normal, sometimes I'm Not Quite Sure...Oh, look, we've started writing a sequel to Meredith Brook's next hit: "I am lesbian/I'm Puck the Fairy/I'm Markus' love-child..." {Sorry...that doesn't rhyme....} To Scott and other RFers: Does he or does he not look like the guy from Dawson's Creek? I think he's in denial....Either that or the grits changed his brain chemistry somehow. Ginger: You are evil. Pure evil. My favorite Last Words: I forget who brought this up. "They couldn't hit an elephant in this dis--" -- Final words spoken by Union Major General John Sedge wick as he peered over the parapet at enemy lines during the 1844 Battle of Spotsylvania With love, Kathy-rin. :) THE STRANGEST THINGS "Howard, the strangest things have happened lately..." http://members.xoom.com/HndOfChaos `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 23:26:16 EDT From: HndOfChaos@aol.com Subject: Sorry, no fan fic, actually a fan movie, I guess...(Part 3) Robert and Darren open a window and grab Ben's legs. They shove him out the window, until he is dangling almost by his shoelaces. "Millionaires and mill rats live side by side here...," Ben points at an old woman with a grocery basket who is on her way home from the grocery store and a lady dressed in furs holding a small dog. The two collide and the rich lady is outraged. She becomes angry and hurriedly leaves, dropping one of her furs, which the old woman picks up, sniffs, and throws away in disgust, shaking her head. "Messed up my brother's mind/He's far from earth..." He looks up at a man inside an office building, at a desk with piles and piles of papers. The man is on the phone and looks very worried. There is a bottle of antacid on his desk and a half-eaten donut. He begins yelling and rubbing his forehead. Robert and Darren pull Ben back into the building from the window. Ben: "Tell me, what's he worth? Robert: "Nuthin'!" "The same as you/The same as me/In this factory..." The three of them look at a panel with two buttons that read "You" and "Me." All three of them push "You" at the same time. Darren, Robert, and Ben begin to lose their balance and grab onto furniture. The camera shakes. It seems as if an earthquake is occurring.... "Did Mother Nature tell you/Boy you come and go as you please..." The office of the worried-looking man suddenly moves and clouds of dust appear. Then the building slowly rockets skyward. The man drops the phone out of his hand and presses his face again the window glass, looking upwards. His jaw drops when he looks down and sees buildings underneath his feet. "That's what she said to me/Big brother got the keys/And I got Jackson Cannery..." The stressed-out man opens his mouth in a silent scream as he realizes that he is being shot out the earth's atmosphere. He begins pounding on the glass, screaming for help. He tries the door of his office but it won't open. "Woah....woah..., etc." The office is now flying through space. Ben dangles a pair of keys in his hand in front of the camera, wearing a space suit. The office-rocket lands on the top of the moon. "It's 4 in the morning/Mother don't know/That I'm going far away..." Robert and Darren, both in space-suits, are floating in space and looking at Earth. Ben joins them and makes a following motion with his hand. They pause to watch the earthrise. "She's whispering to the moon/I hope he don't join you soon..." He bounces around the moon until he is on the bottom of the moon. For some reason, being on the bottom of the moon means that you are upside-down. Then, Ben takes a deep breath, takes off his space suit, and jumps. He begins to fall back to Earth. Robert and Darren look at each other, shrug, and do the same. They look like meteories falling to earth in a blaze of glory.... ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 23:26:14 EDT From: HndOfChaos@aol.com Subject: Sorry, no fan fic, actually a fan movie, I guess....(Part 2) "Enough's enough/And I'm leaving this factory..." Ben looks at the camera, smiles, and shifts into another gear. He sings along to "I'm leaving this factory..." "All she wants/Is food on the table..." Shot of the three Boys driving through the suburbs of Anytown, USA, brandishing huge packets of raw bacon. Ben has an evil-looking grin. "And I won't be able/To bring it home..." He stands up, does his best baseball pitcher imitation and chucks the package of raw bacon through the window of your average middle-class home. It breaks the glass, flies through the air, and lands on the dining room table. So much for bringing home the bacon, I suppose... "No, I won't, come on..." This process is repeated to almost every home on the street. (Sorry for being so violent. I *do not* advocate throwing packages of raw meat into random homes.) Robert, Ben, and Darren crack up. 'Cause all I need is free, yeah, it's free..." Ben is now standing on the roof of the bus, motioning towards the sky. The color of the sky shows the time to be around late afternoon. The world is his. "'Cause I'm a factory..." With his hands on his hips, Ben strikes a pose, such as that of a leader of a great army and points towards a building on the horizon. It is a factory of sorts. And moving onward... The camera moves and inside the bus it is revealed that Robert is hunched over in the driver's seat with his hands clenched to the steering wheel. He licks his lips and shifts in his seat. What he is about to do will take every bit of concentration available... "Did Mother Nature tell you/Boy you come and go as you please..." The bus crashes into the side of the factory. There is now a bus-shaped hole in the brick wall. But the bus is empty. No sign of its former passengers. "That's what she said to me..." Ben and company land on the roof of the building in a hostile take over. Robert runs down the staircase and locks the factory supervisor in his office. "Big brother got the keys/And I got Jackson Cannery..." Here comes the big little dance number. Well, okay, I'll spare you that. Let me just say that, in my dreams, Ben sure can DANCE! "Woah...woah...(and so on)..." ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 23:26:18 EDT From: HndOfChaos@aol.com Subject: Sorry, no fan fic, actually a fan movie, I guess...(Part 4) "Baby boss/Climbs up on his soapbox..." Back in the factory, the supervisor is furious. He piles a chair, file cabinets, and telephone books, doing anything in his power to escape his office. He's sweating hard in his cheap suit and is about six inches or so from escape. He painfully climbs on top of the unsteady, towering heap of junk. "Great Caesar's ghost/Knows what's best for me..." He slowly makes his way past telephone book after telephone book. He stops to wipe the sweat off his brow, and continues on, using all sorts of stuff as hand holds. Never did like that paper weight much, anyway.... "He says...STOP THE BUS!..." The supervisor slips during his climbing the pile of junk, and falls, in slow motion, all the way to the floor, landing right upon his... "Did Mother Nature tell you/Boy you come and go as you please..." Darren, miraculously still in one piece, enters the factory and begins to tear up all the time cards. He punches himself in and out several times. He then sets all the clocks in the place to 4:20 and leaves each room laughing. "That's what she said to me..." Meanwhile Robert has somehow slipped into the supervisor's office, tied him up with licorice whips, gets on the loudspeaker and tells everyone to take the rest of the week off. He then proceeds to put all the furniture back the way it was. Robert then waters all the plants and takes a message when the phone rings. "Big brother got the keys...And I got Jackson Cannery..." He leaves the supervisor bound and gagged, sitting in his expensive chair, locked in his office. Robert leaves the keys on a table next to the door, in the hall. He waves good-bye to the now paralyzed supervisor and runs down the hall. "Big brother got the keys/I got Jackson Cannery/Big brother, he got the keys/I got Jackson Cannery..." Robert and Darren meet up and high five each other for a job well done. Singing and laughing they lead the exodus of the disgruntled workers out into the street. They spot Ben. Ben waves, and motions towards the bus, which is, surprisingly IN ONE PIECE. The hordes of workers board the crazily painted bus until every seat is taken. Ben salutes and gets back into the driver's seat. He grins. The doors of the bus close with a great shudder. The bus lurches backwards, then forwards. All the workers in the bus open the windows and wave good-bye to the crowd that has inexplicably gathered there. The crowd of people wave good-bye and cheer. The now free boss dude runs out into the street, yelling and shaking his fist, to no avail. No one even looks at him. He collapses onto the sidewalk after realizing how useless it is to try to stop the bus. And the bus rides off into the sunset. THE END Well....that's it. ~Kathryn P.S. Why does conBENtion II not sound terribly creative to my jaded ears? How about Ben Con? Like Dragon Con, Gen Con....okay, leaving now....:) ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 23:26:12 EDT From: HndOfChaos@aol.com Subject: Sorry, no fan fic, actually a fan movie, I guess....(Part 1) Hello-- (Sorry for being too dense to break this up into more than on part FL.) "Hey, y'know the other day I was just hanging out and I thought, hey, y'know, wouldn't this make a great video?" Somehow, this statement, or one very close to it inspired something very strange in my subconscious. I had a dream or sorts, or some kind of strange vision, I would venture. It might have something to do with the fact that I read about 15 digests of the chair before going to bed. It might have to do with the fact that music videos never turn out the way you thought they would. Anyway, here it is...Sorry that it's so long and sorry for any/all inaccuracies.... Jackson Cannery: The Video (I wish!) The video starts with an overhead shot of a factory, with workers busily doing...whatever it is that they're doing. Its not too clear what kind of factory this is, although it looks rather old and reminiscent of automobile factories of decades past. Lots of people in hard hats walking about, old- fashioned halogen lamps. Smoke, flickering lights, dirty faces and... Suddenly, the loudspeaker crackles and a snooty, drawling, male voice intones: "Attention all employees, attention all employees, this is a special bulletin. Stand by for an important announcement...." Silence. The loudspeaker crackles again and faint sounds of scuffling are heard. All the workers stop their tasks and stare at the crackling speaker. Then...those familiar chords begin, piped in, all over the factory. Some take off their hard hats and scratch their heads in confusion, others whisper excitedly to each other, trying to figure out what is going on.... Cut to a scene of a wildly careening bus weaving its way through traffic. It's a rather shabby machine, almost worn-out but well loved, but also happens to be painted orange and purple and red and many other colors. As it cuts people off, and cars scramble out of its way, it becomes clear that this is a *very* special bus. "Stop the bus/I wanna be lonely..." Two hitchhikers jump in front of the bus, and the bus driver slams on the brakes, causing even more chaos on the roads. The bus driver, who just happens to be Ben, opens the door of the bus to let the two hitchhikers, who just happen to be Robert and Darren, onto the bus. "When seconds pass slowly/And years go flying by..." The camera cuts to the impossibly long stretches of traffic winding along the highway. It looks like your typical morning in L.A., right? People in cars shake their fists at the multi-colored bus as it creates a lane for itself, thought the neverending Civics and Corollas. Guess who's going into the carpool lane... "You gotta stop the bus/I'll get off here..." Ben, Darren, and Robert pull down all the windows of the bus and taunt the cars that they are passing. Robert waves at two nuns, who confusedly wave back at him. The bus snakes its way on the highway, causing infinite numbers of coffee spills. Darren throws bus passes out the windows at motorcyclists. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 23:40:48 -0500 From: Clayton Smith Subject: Puck....clearing the air! Kathryn writes: I'm Puck? I'm NOT Puck? Who the hell is Puck??? Hhhmmmmm....regressing back to eighth grade...Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. Puck...was...the henchmen of the King of the Faeries. Correct? - -ok we havent been watching our real world, have we??? lol. although Puck is the name of the henchmen in the wonderful world of shakespeare but the puck i was refering to the Puck fro, the real world L.A. cast i think...he dyed his hair funny colors and was a bike messenger...only Erik holds the secret to who his reference was to......Erik??? I don't see you being a fairy....And your music video sequence was cool! And scott is marked for life after that grit episode in atlanta....hehe..well ill go to sleep now...... Clayton Smith ctsmith@onr.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jun 1998 00:21:11 -0400 From: Jessica Brandt Subject: Uhm is this is Moody Blues newsletter? So, i was really excited to see that FL is a Moodies fan, as well as a Yes fan. I'm a closet 19-year-old prog rock kid (seen the moodies 6 times, yes twice, ELP and Tull once...etc) Anyway, i just got back from the Moody blues' cleveland show. The whole time i was thinkin' deep thoughts...about US, and BFF. Is this how it's gonna be, in 30 years? Will we be coming home from our office jobs, dressing in our finest black jeans and 2002 Tour shirts (tucked in, of course), putting on tons of makeup and doing up our hair with loads of hairspray (the boys, even) trying to get that 1996 look again? Will we pay $50 for tickets, go to the VIP cocktail party, and sit in the chairs in the "pit"? Will we clap like maniacs, off-beat and wiggle our 50 year old asses while trying not to spill our $6 beers? Will BFF take on a guy to play a little roland keyboard, and female backup singers, and another drummer to play the "big parts"? Will Robert dance around on the side of the stage, and try to look "hip" as he waves his arms over the audience? Will they adopt a spectacular light show, and project their fancy BFF logo on a screen behind them? will they be able to say "this one's off our fifth album..."? Will ben still be HOT after 30 years, like Justin hayward is? Will concerts have intermissions? Will they play the same set at every show, for 5 years in a row? Will "Philosophy" be a classic rocker, and "Brick" be a classic lighter song? is this how it's gonna be? i'm scared. This is how "classic rock" concerts are! (i've been to enough...*shudder*.....someone needs to think of a plan to keep us all young. Jess (help!) **************************************************************** I'm not just naked, I'm Naked for Jesus!!! * --+-Read The Shrubbery-+-- * http://www.theshrubbery.prohosting.com --New Every Month- -Humor, News and More-- * Ben Folds Five International Fans Page * http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Backstage/6814/fans.html --Get a "Ben" Pal- -Now Spans 11 Countries-- **************************************************************** ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jun 1998 01:23:47 -0400 From: Jessica Brandt Subject: Two posts! woohoo! So i was watching MTV and thinking about Road Rules (new season, my dad's new fave show since Seinfeld. go figure). anyway....since we're having a RF real life, why not a RF road rules? now i suppose Sandi's trips around the country chasing ben and the boys can be considered her own little Road Rules. But this one has a script. the premise: Well, if you haven't guessed already, we're following BFF around the country. But, we have to work at crazy places to get food $$ and tickets (free tix? never!). We drive around in a Winniebego decorated with BFF posters and stickers. 5 of us (is it 5?) and our license plate? BFF 5 (yup, that's F AND 5). SO Erik can be the one who mopes about missing his wife all the time. Sandi can be the one who breaks hearts in every Major city. Courtney can be the one who's gung-ho about all of our jobs. I'll be the non-confrontational type who gets stuck driving all the time. uhm....gee, well i wish i knew more of you so i can cast the fifth person! sounds like fun, no? the soundtrack will rock. mostly BFF songs but of course, also the Zippers, Sinfrosa (??), Wallflowers, Snuzz, Bus Stop, DMB, and you know...uhm, other stuff. but if you're all busy being in the Real World, guess I'll have to tackle these Road Rules myself. if you're game for being in my cast, please share your feelings! And then we can have a RF road rules vs. RF real world challenge...probably Trivial Pursuit. We (road rules) would win cuz i rock at that game ;) Jess just trying to be popalar ;) **************************************************************** I'm not just naked, I'm Naked for Jesus!!! * --+-Read The Shrubbery-+-- * http://www.theshrubbery.prohosting.com --New Every Month- -Humor, News and More-- * Ben Folds Five International Fans Page * http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Backstage/6814/fans.html --Get a "Ben" Pal- -Now Spans 11 Countries-- **************************************************************** ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jun 1998 01:35:10 EDT From: FieryLox@aol.com Subject: Finishing Up... Well, since I was so quickly shoved away from the computer BEFORE fully finishing my earlier post, I wanted to shout out to my newly seen internet homies: Ginger (the girl responsible for getting me into the Semisonic Live X!!!), Katie and Katie's mom (who provided much needed humor and ALSO met the amazon blond woman), Sonny, Kim from Athens, Preston, Scott Schneider, and Jaki (who I lost once I got inside). It was nuts putting faces with names... More to come in another post... Toodles! Sara ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #157 *********************************