From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #153 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Sunday, June 14 1998 Volume 01 : Number 153 Today's Filings: ----------------- Sandi's binge nite. Concerts, Dreams, and three hours of sleep... Wow I hate to here Bitching going on Fishheads.. Fishheads.. I mean, BFF... Oh... nonononononoNO! The Sultraness And My Quivering Flanks ATLANTA!!!!!!HELP!!!!!!!! Hello You and me and the Rockford Files make three tonite. FL Speaketh...PAY ATTENTION! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 03:26:12 -0400 From: Jessica Brandt Subject: Sandi's binge nite. <> Savatage didn't disappear. My brother just saw them. twice (in cleveland and colombus). You, Sandi, are hilarious. Hehe **************************************************************** I'm not just naked, I'm Naked for Jesus!!! * --+-Read The Shrubbery-+-- * http://www.theshrubbery.prohosting.com --New Every Month- -Humor, News and More-- * Ben Folds Five International Fans Page * http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Backstage/6814/fans.html --Get a "Ben" Pal- -Now Spans 11 Countries-- * Cousin Jess's World Wide Mess * http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Backstage/6814 --Tape Trading- Way Cool Links- Literary Madness-- ***************************************************************** ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 08:46:43 -0400 From: Sean Kiely Subject: Concerts, Dreams, and three hours of sleep... Well last night was amazing, went to see hard rock live taping. my 4th BFF show or so... I think I read something that said no concert reviews here, so I won't, but stories are cool. It was like the 5th or 6th song and it was time to play brick, and robert brought out the upright bass and everything was quiet and I screamed, "EVAPORATED" and ben looked over and smiled and gave a little nod, and they played it. I think that was the highlight of my life. Then there was a light problem so they had to replay brick (this is later) so robert goes, "it's not a problem though cus we play this one different each time." and Ben played it really fast, let's call it Brick Amphetamine. and while they were fixing the lights everyone was quit so I yelled, "Robert, tell us a story!" and he did kinda. Then we waited around behind the place in the rain, but they didn't come out, they went to watch squeeze. Then when i went to sleep I had a dream that this girl I used to date was at the concert, but she couldn't have been. Then I was in the living room typing a post to the armchair when spiders started falling out of the ceiling. Then a saw a scorpion but it disappeared. that was as much of the dream i remember... I got very little sleep last night. I went in at midnight, then woke up at 3:00 and stayed awake until 5:45, then I fell back asleep until 8:24. Word of advise: Never go to Chili's after a concert. there was bentent in the beginning..... sean "I really can't think of a clever quote right now..." ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 10:27:34 -0700 (PDT) From: Jon Richards Subject: Wow I hate to here Bitching going on Hello everyone. I am sure some of you don't know me (thats prolly cause I haven't written in over 100 issues of the rockford files, but I have been reading it the whole time). I hear bitching about BFF needing to put out a new album. Hmmmm can't you listen to other bands for a change. I mean expand your listening pleasure to more and different kinds of music. Don't get me wrong BFF is still the greatest but yeah know it just gets old listening to an album like there first one for about 3 years. Really if you want more of ben folds five why don't you buy all the singles and all of the albums. Also have you ever heard of Bootlegs. trust me there is still plenty of bff out there I got like 14 of there albums and 6 bootlegs. But if you want something different for a change try these: Barenaked Ladies, Supergrass, Smashing Pumpkins and there is a ton of other music that rocks. I just hope I don't hear as much bitching on this as I do on the armchair. THE ARMCHAIR SUCKS. AHHHHHH jOn RiChArDs _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 11:14:03 PDT From: "Starre Smith" Subject: Fishheads.. Fishheads.. I mean, BFF... Hi Filers! Spencer: Is it true what you said about BFF on Conan July 17th? Sorry to sound stupid.. I'm just trying to confirm it.. Ginger: I loved your story! That is so cool.. I'll have to send you my "Ode To BFF" I wrote in Creative Writing Class.. its cool.. :) Things around here are looking okay.. Just the other day I heard "Air" while I was at Co-op Records in Peoria.. I was really impressed! Pretty good tune.. It sounds really interesting and I love it... I hadn't heard it before at all... I bought Sisters of Mercy's album Floodland, a Goth Compliation, and a KMFDM CD single... Eric: You haven't written in awhile.. probably my fault because I HAVEN'T! Love to hear from you again.. That's about all... So Long and thanks for all the Fish, Stella Folds:)*I STILL HAVE THE UNCONCEIVABLE HOPE THAT SOMEDAY HE'LL CARRY ME OVER THE THRESHOLD BUT UNTIL THAT TIME COMES, I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DON'T DROWN MY HOPES:)* ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 16:44:02 -0400 (EDT) From: Anne Lyons Subject: Oh... nonononononoNO! Hey all! So I open today's merry ol' RF, expectin' to get some smiles and chuckels and laughter... which is always the case. So I glance at the sender of the first post... and I am elated! No... make that ecstatic! Sandi's back! And from the looks of her typos... she's been having a fun time at some southern bar! I am grinning already. Now, Sandi goes into a diatribe about wanting some new material... and I love it! She may be tipsy, but she ain't one iota less insightful. I, too, would love some new stuff... although I'm not yet sick of NBP (I think I still listen to Twin Falls on a daily basis) Anyway... I'm hoping to get a healthy dose of Fear of Pop soon, and after that I hope to BeFeF my brains out to the new album (whatever she may be called). Still, with the incisive plea for more new stuff comes the SandiHumor I've come to love... accidentals sends, typos, and best of all... a list of bands that are gone - -- but not forgotton! my favorite was Vixen, btw! So there I am, still with a grin on my face... and then the grin freezes as my face turns into a mask of horror as I read the next post from Jake... who tells Sandi to "stop bitching and enjoy the music". Even as I write this... my face screws into that face of pain & disbelief. (You know... the one where you show all yoru bottom teeth, and the cords in your neck stick out and your forehead crinkles up while your eyebrows tent over your lids...). OK -- without trying to get into a war of words ("Words to memorize; Words hypnotize; Words make my mouth exercise..."). You can kid around with Sandi and bust her for drunken posts... but please don't tell her to stop bitching. Please? I mean... it's been too long already since I got to read a great .10 beer post... and as soon as I finish enjoying one... there's a messaage that would make me think twice about posting again if it had been directed at me. So please Sandi -- don't pay any attention to it. I need more Shortcake in my RF! As a sidenote: it has always been my understanding that this is a forum that is non-judgemental. So I can say that I thought BFF looked tired and didn't put on their best performance in Honolulu, and someone else who was there can say... "Really? I thought they rocked!" But neither of us will ever say "Shut up, you freak! You are dead wrong, you suck, and I hate your mother!" That's what I thought anyway. Well... that took enough out of me for one day... Courtney: I'll have to get back to you on your dream, 'Kay? I'm a bit tired... Spencer: So someone else remembers Joker's Wild! Yay! And as to wines of choice from '84 - '88, I was a Boonie, yes indeed I was! Carrie: In case you are feeling lonely over the summer... You rock! I haven't forgotten you! Can't wait until you get back to school so we can chat again! Anniepants: I'm serious (for a change). I really kinda disklike that moniker. So could we desist? Please? Thanks! Welp. C'est tout! - -Anne, the bellydancing denmother of the Files... P.S. Did someone ask where fjord came from? That came from our beauteous Carrie... I think she said Rockfjord, and it stuck! ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 17:31:49 EDT From: FieryLox@aol.com Subject: The Sultraness And My Quivering Flanks OK...it's officially about a day until Ben Folds Five plays the 'Nacle in Atlanta. I'm a bit excited. A BIT!!!!!! It will be quite sad to see the end of this BFF concert stuff, but we'll get international reports, I suppose... I just realized that "quivering flanks" is a pretty gross statement. I'm not a cow, I swear. At least last time I checked...although some nice fresh butter WOULD be nice. Think about that...if you were a cow, would you eat butter that came from...you? I don't know WHAT I'm saying now, I drank quite a bit of coffee this morning. Courtney--I just bought Rufus Wainwright (used-promotional copy!) and I LOVE IT! Something about cabaret singing. Sounds like a good makeout album. I wouldn't know. I just love April Fools--"You will believe in love, and all that it's supposed to be..." And Heathers, Swingers, AND Trainspotting? You're my new guru. Scott--Hope to see you at BFF here! I'll be the anxious, overzealous redhead near the front. (yes, REDHEAD!) Anne--You seem like an EXCELLENT denmother, so full of wisdom and...easily nicknamed! By the by, I had a dream the other night that I was in a race, and the winner had to battle this big alien warforce...so my sister, her best friend, our friend Joslyn, and me won this race (it was the Peachtree, for you Atlantans) and we started running because heck, who wants to fight evil aliens? So I lost my sister, then her friend, and it was just Joslyn and I. Oh yeah, the paparazzi were chasing us as well. The frontrunner was this Indian guy with one of those cameras with the really long lenses. So we ran into this old building and this little short bald guy says, "hey, where are you girls going?"...we said "the bathroom!" and walked into this little area that was six toilets in a semicircle. There was a guy on one, he said (for REAL) "hi, join the party!". We ran out. I woke up. End of dream! FL--Erik is a lovely name, just thought I'd tell ya! Keep up the good work! Toodles! Sara "I don't wanna hold you and feel so helpless/I don't wanna smell you and lose my senses..."--Rufus Wainwright, "Foolish Love" ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 18:04:05 -0400 From: Jaki Hsieh Subject: ATLANTA!!!!!!HELP!!!!!!!! Somebody going to the Atlanta concert-get together please email me at Mark@gamesource.com , with the details, where the hell were meeting and when. I was supposed to Get in touch with sanders, but my bf changed dorms and we no longer have the fone number i gave sanders to reach me at. Please Email me ASAP. Thanks Jaki ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 19:34:12 EDT From: Jen116nyc@aol.com Subject: Hello I'm new to the list and I'm a bit nervous about living up to all these clever and amusing posts. First I want to respond to some recent posts: Spencer: First of all, you have a great name, second, I loved your list of ladies. It was sweet without being corny, that's quite a thin line to walk. Anne: I can understand why you feel "denmother" is unglamorous, my friends think I'm their denmother just because I carry tissues with me. Ginger: I loved your story, it was insanely creative. Bentent: It's going to be so great to see them on Conan again, but this is what I want to know, why don't talk show hosts ever talk to their musical guests? It doesn't seem fair to me. I'd rather hear from Ben and the boys, than some actor/actress plugging their new movie. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 17:33:22 -0700 From: "Jennifer Auletto" Subject: You and me and the Rockford Files make three tonite. Hey all.....just got off work at the most hellacious place on the planet (yes, BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO). I swear, you'd think there was nothing to do in this town. Handy Tip: if you're feeling particularly bored and want to impart some evil and malarchy (I love that word, even though I have no friggin' clue what it means), on the employees at your local Blockbuster, call them up and ask if "Godzilla," or even "The Truman Show" is in and if they can hold it for you. Or better yet, ask when "Titanic" is coming out. (Thank God we actually found this juicy tidbut out aready....drumroll please...."Titanic" sails into stores on September 1st!!!!!! [How much do you wanna bet they use that line in all of the advertising? I want royalties, dammit!!] My life is now complete.) They'll love you and bestow upon you free rentals and sprinkle you with fairy dust when you walk in the door and put pink and red rose petals in your bag when you leave. That happens a lot. <> Oh, um....gee, thanks. I'm blushing now. :) I got this immensely satisfying Warm Fuzzy Feeling (WFF) when I read that. You guys are so.... so ... nice. <> You wanna know about kinky? Let me tell you about kinky. When my boyfriend wears his hot fushcia and plum fedora to bed, I can't stay off him. Or when he wears that beret I gave him for our anniversary (yes, it is raspberry...how did you know?!) it makes my mouth water. Chuckle chuckle. :) Maybe your co-worker meant like, you know, *profilactics* (now just how *is* that spelled...?) or something. You know, like a "Jimmy Hat" or whatever. OK, I'm blushing again. I am so naive. And since everyone else is telling about their dreams, I wanna jump on the bandwagon, because hey, I'm bored and I know all you wonderful people care about my life. OK. It's summertime and I'm in Mississippi or Missouri or some southern state and it's hot out. I'm walking on a dirt road in the woods with no shoes on -- I think I even have on overalls. Anyway, so I'm walking along, and who do I see ahead of me but Darren (yes, *that* Darren). So I meet up with him, and I see that he's carrying a bucket and one of those fishing rods that little kids make out of a tree branch and some string. He asks me if I would like to join him and I say, "Sure," because hey, let's face it -- this is Darren we're talking about here. So we go to this bridge and we're sitting there "fishing" with our bare feet hanging over the edge, a la Huck Finn, just talking and whatnot. And then I shag him. Ha ha. Just seeing if you're paying attention. ;) We're talking and he feels a tug on his line and he pulls it up and at the end of the string is ... a pickle. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we were fishing for pickles on the Mississippi River. We filled a bucket of them (I think they may have been Vlasics) and brought them to a poor family in the area who dined on them for weeks, I'm sure. So that's that. I know it's probably like, a phallic thing, I mean, that would be the obvious answer, but so what? What does that mean to me? OK, time for me to go bye bye. This has been.....Jen Relapathy. A closed mouth invites no foot. ======================================== Jennifer Auletto jenauletto@earthlink.net ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 21:01:33 EDT From: Eriklyons1@aol.com Subject: FL Speaketh...PAY ATTENTION! Look. Now ya'll know me to be easy going, laid back, and generally a nice guy. But you are now going to get a look at a different side of your beloved FL. Sit down and pay attention. #1 -- DO NOT, (I repeat) DO NOT reply to this post on the list. If you don't like what I am writing, fill my mailbox (AOL, or work addy) all you want and I will respond to you on an INDIVIDUAL BASIS. #2 -- Go back to the Rockford Files Homepage and read the premise behind the RF. No public attacks will be allowed. Period. I have taken action against those who chose to post material not suitable to the Files. Be advised, this list WILL NOT become a place for you to PUBLICALLY voice your disapproval with someone's ideas. #3 -- This post is: (a) a general reminder to those who have been here a while, (b) to those who have just joined, and (c) probably doesn't affect 90% of you (so regulars, please take this kindly). #4 -- This is the Rockford Files, not the Magical Armchair, and as such, please keep MA content to a minimum (not necessarily zero). So, if you want to compliment Frank, email him. Don't tell us all about the condition of the MA, because many of us don't belong to it. But, if there is humorous content, feel free to share. We like funny here. #5 -- I hate to write this email, but I can feel a surge about to begin. The MA is for majority BFF content. The RF is a place for fans to share Ben Folds Five experiences and non-Ben Folds Five experiences. We are linked at this list by a common thread: a compulsive, borderline psychotic love for the band Ben Folds Five. Let's keep the love flowing by ENJOYING one another. The equation is simple: if you don't like it here, leave. That isn't a rude statement, so don't take it that way. Simply put, why hang out someplace where you don't get along with others and have nothing nice to say? "Go sell crazy someplace else, we're all STOCKED up here!" #6 -- Repeat of #1, don't email this list with your comments about my post. Either you hate me or you love me. But email each other, or myself, PRIVATELY with your thoughts on the matter. I promise to respond if you are civil and don't write in ALL CAPS (a/k/a shouting). Thank you for your patience in reading this post. I am sure we can forget this happened and move on. We can weather this *small* storm. You can't have a rainbow without rain! - -Erik P.S. -- I promise my post will contain fun for all, and I won't even make fun of the Spice Grrls! ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #153 *********************************