From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #152 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Saturday, June 13 1998 Volume 01 : Number 152 Today's Filings: ----------------- So yeah.....uhhhhhh ugh....was that sent? was that sent again? RE: So yeah.....uhhhhhh Fwd: Quit Bitching??? CRUSH! defenestration Grape Nuts--no grapes, no nuts...*what's* the deal? a little story for BeFeFans Aaaaaargh!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 05:40:36 EDT From: Sandibrady@aol.com Subject: So yeah.....uhhhhhh So is there just going to be no bencontent for the next fe wmonths because of lack of shows and te new album being slightly delayed longer than we thought? cuz we're all talking about crap and this is a ben list. And anyway, who the hell gives a shit about him anwyay, right. wowo.....are theose typos. haha. typos? haha. okay, no not 10 cent beer ngiht, ever better. ben watching a 9 year old for a week (24 hours, 7 days a week) AND actually have a night off becuaes she's spendin the inight at a friends' shouse. shouse. I mean, HOUSE. ANYWAY..... all is well here in Kentucky. And I have no Bentent to add....besides the fact that I am totally bored with everything and I would really like a new album sometime before '99 because it's getting REALLY old. I could really give a fuck less if the record company wants to fucking squeeze it for all it's worth....give us sometihng new you guys because the ones of us who bought WE&EA when it first came out are hungry for new material....we are the fans and we are what counts. Come on lady! You already got your huge signing bonus from Sony and you have endorsements and all that crap.... give us some new fucking material....and don't even try to lay any of that stupid soundtrack crap on me because I could really give a shit less....i wanna hear sometihng that was written because you WANTED to write, ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 05:47:13 EDT From: Sandibrady@aol.com Subject: ugh....was that sent? Ugh...I somehow hit sent. Anyway, as I was saying... I want to hear something that you WANTED to write, not something you were paid bundles to write. Give me a break....you're going to tell me that you (BEN specificially) put your HEART into "Air"? I don't think so. I *THINK* you saved all the good shit for the album. Come on, we're not idiots here.... Get off your high horse and write something that you WANT to write and that we WANT to hear. Even if it's a fucking song about some bitch who complains all the time, or who you used to hang out with, or who used to actually like you, or who what ever.... stop wasting time down under and start writing some material so our favorite band (I believe this means BF5) doesn't disappear into oblivion like the band Alias, or Vinnie Vincent Invasion, or Calie Manogue, ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 05:49:55 EDT From: Sandibrady@aol.com Subject: was that sent again? Did I fucking sent that again? Ahhh, well, I was just in the middle of naming bands who just disappeared, much like : Menudo, Steelheart, Savatage, Stryper, Tangier, Vixen, etc. I think I was about to wrap up my babbling anyway. So go my thoughts for the evening...or should I say mornign since it's almost 6am. ugh. Sandi ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 11:11:53 -0400 From: Jake Alderman Subject: RE: So yeah.....uhhhhhh Sandi: Soundtracks and compilations are an important part of the music industry. It is a way to test their ideas for new music. If their ideas suck it is better for it to be on a compilation than to have an entire album full of shit. It is also a teaser for what to come, to keep us interested while they work on new stuff. If they could put a new album every 6 months, they would be out like all the bands that you listed. Confusious say: the brightest candles burn the fastest. They are just trying not wear out their welcome. Quit bitching and Just listen to the music. Thanks Jake PS. 2 days until Atlanta. I just bought my Pumpkin tix. Life is good! - -----Original Message----- From: Sandibrady@aol.com [SMTP:Sandibrady@aol.com] Sent: Friday, June 12, 1998 5:41 AM To: rockford-files@smoe.org Subject: So yeah.....uhhhhhh So is there just going to be no bencontent for the next fe wmonths because of lack of shows and te new album being slightly delayed longer than we thought? cuz we're all talking about crap and this is a ben list. And anyway, who the hell gives a shit about him anwyay, right. wowo.....are theose typos. haha. typos? haha. okay, no not 10 cent beer ngiht, ever better. ben watching a 9 year old for a week (24 hours, 7 days a week) AND actually have a night off becuaes she's spendin the inight at a friends' shouse. shouse. I mean, HOUSE. ANYWAY..... all is well here in Kentucky. And I have no Bentent to add....besides the fact that I am totally bored with everything and I would really like a new album sometime before '99 because it's getting REALLY old. I could really give a fuck less if the record company wants to fucking squeeze it for all it's worth....give us sometihng new you guys because the ones of us who bought WE&EA when it first came out are hungry for new material....we are the fans and we are what counts. Come on lady! You already got your huge signing bonus from Sony and you have endorsements and all that crap.... give us some new fucking material....and don't even try to lay any of that stupid soundtrack crap on me because I could really give a shit less....i wanna hear sometihng that was written because you WANTED to write, ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 11:46:55 EDT From: Sandibrady@aol.com Subject: Fwd: Quit Bitching??? This is a multi-part message in MIME format. - --part0_897666415_boundary Content-ID: <0_897666415@inet_out.mail.aol.com.1> Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Sorry, I sent this to the wrong address.... - --part0_897666415_boundary Content-ID: <0_897666415@inet_out.mail.aol.com.2> Content-type: message/rfc822 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-disposition: inline From: Sandibrady@aol.com Return-path: To: rockfordfiles@smoe.org Subject: Quit Bitching??? Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 11:41:46 EDT Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Quit bitching and just listen to the music? Whatever. Ever heard of slightly drunken posts? Jimminy Christmas! And soundtracks are important because it's a way for them to try out new ideas? Listen, I don't know what's up with you trying to come off like someone in the know telling ME what's going on with anything that has to do with Ben Folds Five, but in their case, it has nothing to do with trying out new music....it's the record company's idea and not the bands. And as far as trying out new music and new ideas, Ben told me himself that he thought it was crap and hated doing soundtrack albums... didn't care much for the song and said he's saving the "good stuff" for the next album. And as far as all the bands I listed being out: Duh. That was a joke. By the way, putting out a new album every 6 months? Who said anything about that? WE&EA has been out longer than 6 months...but I guess if you bought it when Brick came out you wouldn't know that. So much for me coming back to post....what's this turning into: The Armchair? And ERIK, didn't you tell these people not to question Sandi when it comes to BF5 info of any sort? ugh.... - --Sandi - --part0_897666415_boundary-- ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 17:33:26 -0400 From: Amanda McClintock Subject: CRUSH! Eric brought up, (or perhaps he was bringing up what someone else brought up) the subject of great songs about neat chicks! And although I love KATE, it makes me get up and dance everytime, My heart will always lean toward the crush song from my FIRST obsessively loved band.... It was the fall of 1991. I was a freshman in high school. While listening to a Canadian station one night I heard it. What is now and probably always will be my favorite song. Underwhelmed by Sloan is the most fantastic crush song ever! And before Ben and the boys were in my life, I was all about Jay, Chris, Patrick and the bunch. Today Sloan and BFF both rank high up on my CD rotation, but since Sloan has twice as many disks out they are played more. So for those of you in a market for more good crush songs check Underwhelmed out (on Sloans first full length album, Smeared). And I too agree the Beastie Boys are back to their old school sounding days!!! Taker easy! Amanda ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 16:57:46 PDT From: "Courtney Knopf" Subject: defenestration Oh hey, sorry about my "somnabulism" post going out twice to you folk yesterday. Not quite sure how that happened...but anyway, yeah. Jeez, don't people know not to mess with Sandi? It should be in the RF manifesto or something. Cause, hello? Duh. She'll kick yer arse... especially if she's just come back from .10 beer night. So I had ANOTHER nutty celebrity inspired dream last night.... See i found out yesterday that Pulp is going to be on Conan tonight... This is what I believe to be the inspiration for my dream. So I dreamed that yes, Pulp were on Conan...but I was there with them standing on stage. And they start to play "This is Hardcore"...and I'm standing up on the stage just looking at Jarvis Cocker or whatever, and he's holding the mic stand and licking it in a lewd and lascivious manner and then he hands it to ME, nad I'm like "what the hell am i supposed to do with this?" SO yeah, i take it from him and then he starts to walk through the studio and backstage, and he's still singing and we walk down a flight of stairs and suddenly we're in the basement/garge of my old house and he's still singing and I can hear Candida playing the piano in the studio and I'm thinking to myself "uh..how is this ever going to get on TV if we're in the basement?" and i turn around an lo and behold, there's a cameraman. And then suddenly my roommate Sarah appeared out of nowhere (the girl is newly smitten with jarvis, as an aside) and she was annoyed at me for touching his mic (huh-huh)..and then we went back upstairs to the studio (6A, for those of you who are familliar with the NBC set up) and the song has been going on all this time (it's a long song, granted, but i mean REALLY, now) and finally they finish and the audience claps and Conan comes over and he's like "well...THAT was interesting." And that was it....then i woke up. Why is it that I always have celebrity dreams? I mean honestly, I think I'm obsessed. HELP ME, Anniepants! On another note, a friend of mine was licking an envelope and apparenltly it was a really nasty tasting one..and she said "THAT WAS THE FOULEST ENVELOPE I HAVE EVER TASTED!!! that was like..the envelope that killed george's fiance" So of course, I had to share that nugget of comedy with you all. word. ~Courtney The Sultraness of Swing "For a vegetarian, Rents, you're a fooking evil shot!" ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 23:40:57 -0400 (EDT) From: spencerc@usit.net (Spencer Corden) Subject: Grape Nuts--no grapes, no nuts...*what's* the deal? OK, everybody take your seats, it's time to start class. All right, turn in your textbooks to page... MARCUS!!!!! Dammit, you're late again! Sit 'yo ass down and get ready for a week of detention, son. I'd have our denmother give you a paddling if I wasn't so sure that you'd *like* it... OB (Obligatory Bentent)-Did everybody get the info on BFF playing Late Night w/ Conan O'Brian on Friday, July 17th? Springer must have fell through. Sorry, Courtney. I would have swooned upon a glimpse of you with your head shaved lookin' like the Kojak lovin' mama that I know you are. ;-) [BTW, scratch the Conan thing. I just remembered that E already posted the info. Sorry.] Carrie (Care Bear) makes me blush with: <> The key phrase here is "I forget why....". Anne: Denmother is unglamorous? Want something lustful? OK, scratch denmother. Hands up. Who's for Anne being the RF official exotic BELLYDANCER? Put your hand down Eric, we all know *you're* gonna vote for her. But Anne, you have to wear the Xena outfit every now and then. Do that flip, girl. Move your body. It's your birthday. <---deadpan delivery. Imagine it. Speaking of glamourous, here's my top ten of women that make my heart skip: 1.-Janeane Garofolo. Don't make me explain it. Humor is *suuuuuch* a turn-on. 2.-A girl who will have second helpings of mashed potatos w/o even blinking. 3.-That tall woman on the Focus contact lens commercial (god, what a smile). 4.-Grace Kelly in Hitchcock's "Rear Window" (downright angleic I tell you...). 5.-Girls with glasses that can whip my ass at trivial pursuit. 6.-Katharine Hepburn in "Woman of the Year" (lips, legs--do the math.). 7.-Diane Keaton, wearing her Chaplinesque outfit in "Annie Hall". 8.-Any girl who can tell a dirty joke. Well. 9.-Julia Louis-Dreyfus in the first four seasons of Seinfeld. 10.-Beth Littleford on "The Daily Show". She's hilarious, and I just want to take her out for a double scoop ice cream cone. ****New addition:**** 11.-Marcus in his summer frock. Anne II: I take back the whole you drinking Schlitz/watching Game Show Network thing. What I should have said was, "Boone's Farm Strawberry, BBQ pork rinds, and WWF". "Joker, joker....and a TRIPLE! Beautiful. Remember the Match Game? Clayton: You're my best friend. I love you, man!!!! [tears flowing] Jay: I want a copy of that 80's pop culture book. Email me, PLEASE! Marcus: Dude. Seriously. This "rubbin' Viagra on you" is gonna be enough 900# material that E won't have dial out long distance again. Ever. Jen Relapathy: OK, I just *NOW* got that joke. Go ahead. Laugh. Mock me. Make fun of my Dukes of Hazzard underoos. I'm not listening to you... Courtney: Somnabulism. Have you ever seen "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari"? And "Anniepantswhenmarcusdancestopinacoladainhisdressinthekitchen". Gorgeous. hehe. Plus, your sig files kick about 50 different species of ass. May all your babies be born naked, Spencer "ready for an extra dry gin martini" Corden ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 23:42:11 -0400 (EDT) From: Ginger Nance Subject: a little story for BeFeFans Okay kiddies, this is something I started a while ago, and haven't gotten around to finishing but thought I'd go ahead and get opinions on. Since we don't ever know what happened to Kathy and the boys' torture plans for her, I figured something completely different and not nearly as wacky would be appropriate. Sorry it's so long! Ginger :) I was sitting in the Lizard and Snake Cafe, idly sipping a beer while I waited for my friend Darren to show up. The door squeaked and I turned to see who walked in. The second I saw who it was, I wished I hadn't bothered to look. "Ben! I knew I'd find you here--you're such a creature of habit." Steven's irritating British accent filled the room; he was, as usual, cheerful and loud. As he sat down, uninvited, I forced a smile. "Don't you have a 3:00 flight to catch?" I asked. "Oh, that. I had so much fun at the party last night that I decided to stay on a bit longer. I'm telling you, I think I'm making progress with Tamara--we had quite a nice talk." Before I could start banging my head on the table, Darren pulled up a third chair. "Steven. You're...still here." "Thought I was gone, didn't you?!" Steven beamed, unaware of the fact that his latest cancelled departure amused us even less than last week's. Before he could launch into another one of his Linda McCartney stories, Darren took over the conversation. "I am so fucking pissed right now. Last night Summer dumped me--after I fucking bought her dinner and took her to Steven's party and everything!" "That sucks, man. Did she say why?" I felt bad for Darren. He had really liked Summer. Steven tried to be helpful: "Well, I have seen her with that Joe character alot lately..." "Shut up, Steven." I motioned to the waitress for two more beers. She brought them over and I handed one to Darren. Steven could get his own. My southern hospitality was long gone. "Well, that bitch had better give me back my stuff. She still has my favorite black t-shirt from the last time she spend the night." Two girls walked in and were seated across the Cafe. Steven saw that he didn't know them and went over to talk. I breathed an audible sigh of relief. "Darren, I feel your pain about Summer, but this guy is really pissing me off." "Why don't you just kick him out? He was supposed to leave like what, a month ago?" The imaginary light bulb glowed above my head--I had the perfect solution to the Steven problem. "Shit yeah!" I exclaimed. Darren just looked at me, one eyebrow raised, bottle halfway to his mouth. "I know what I'll do with Steven--I'll make him stay with my uncle." "Walter?" The eyebrow was still arched. "Uh-huh. It's perfect. Now they'll each have someone to listen to their stories!" I started laughing, and Darren smirked with equal satisfaction. "That's evil. But it's perfect." "What can I say? Satan is my master, he's making me do it!" We laughed again. Steven was too engrossed in being charming to notice us. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 00:13:54 -0400 From: Jessica Brandt Subject: Aaaaaargh!!! So how many of you are tape traders? Raise your hands... I'm not here to solicit trades. (as a matter of fact, i'm so sick of trading right now i could puke) But lemme tell you something that has just PISSED me off to no avail... So i have been in the middle of this huge trade, 46 tapes, 6 videos, 10 people....very messy. Not to mention all the other shit that has been going on in my life, it's a wonder these people got ANYTHING at all. So this kid sends me, like, a million blanks for all my SNZ tapes. And i tell him he's 3rd on the list. It'll take me about 2 weeks to get them out, blah blah blah.....So i keep him updated on progress (He gets bumped down to fourth, cuz the Zippers themselves (well, tom) asked me to send them all my boots too (another story for another time, courtney)) and i FINALLY get his shows off (high quality, nice packaging, printed setlists, the whole shebang) along with $30 worth of other stuff i had to mail (ARGH!!) about a week ago. i tell him "sent it out monday! some other kid has already told me he's gotten his so yours should be soon..." So a week later (tonight) He mails me this snotty mail "i'm beginning to think you're ripping me off, where are my tapes? blah blah i'm an idiot blah"....so i write back with an explaination "i don't know what happened. i'm SURE i sent yours off (see, i made a neat checklist...) I understand you're upset, did you give me the right address, etc".....okay. next e-mail .....3K long sarcastic spiel from some Mike Jones who wants me to send his friend Adam his tapes so he can trade with him. Guess ole' Adam is "olding his breath" until he gets mine. The mail was VERY rude from this mike jackass. He just assumed i fucked Adam over. ("By the way I thought you would like to know he is an avid trader that gets six to eight requests per day and he is asking that in order to trade with him everyone must send you mail along these lines untill he gets his tapes.") Oh, he is SOOOO important, i am SOOOOOO scared......for the record, i have virtually stopped answering my trading mail because i get 10 a day about 2:1 or Phish. grr. So i get another email from the SAME NAME, SAME DOMAIN, DIFFERENT ADDRESS (signed "greta", must be mike's computer-illeterate little sister-trader) along the same lines. Boo hoo, like *I* care if you ever trade with Adam. So anyway, i WAS sorry when i read the initial e-mail. I am no longer sorry. I sent him (adam) another e-mail stating that he's immature, he shouldn't expect to trade with me ever again, and calling him a whiny SOB. Overboard? nah. It's a dog-eat-dog-world. So i would LIKE to tell you all to send this jerkoff nasty e-mail, but that would be stooping to his level. This kind of thing never happened to me before, ya know? I guess i feel soooo connected to you people now that i'm here *hugs* and i had to share. Plus, i think he's an armchairite. (God help us if he's a fijordian!) Okay, please offer support. I don't want to resent trading....making tapes will become like reading the MA....often, abundantly, and reluctantly. JessB **************************************************************** I'm not just naked, I'm Naked for Jesus!!! * --+-Read The Shrubbery-+-- * http://www.theshrubbery.prohosting.com --New Every Month- -Humor, News and More-- * Ben Folds Five International Fans Page * http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Backstage/6814/fans.html --Get a "Ben" Pal- -Now Spans 11 Countries-- * Cousin Jess's World Wide Mess * http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Backstage/6814 --Tape Trading- Way Cool Links- Literary Madness-- ***************************************************************** ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #152 *********************************