From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #150 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Thursday, June 11 1998 Volume 01 : Number 150 Today's Filings: ----------------- Jen Relapathy -- say it three times fast. FL is getting frustrated (Costanza reference) Hidee Ho, Kyle! BENTENT average age of the _combat_ soldier The first 2-part RF!!! First post, Man I love it here!!! Master of all things sexy, aka Dave Foley DR. Pyser/Sorry have a fruit roll-up...aren't you gonna eat it?! Introduction from Oz...... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 02:15:54 -0700 From: "Jennifer Auletto" Subject: Jen Relapathy -- say it three times fast. Greeting and salutations..... None of you have ever heard from me before, so obviously I'm new here. Hi, how ya doin? I like Ben Folds Five -- how 'bout them apples? I first heard them at a They Might be Giants show in San Francisco. They weren't *performing* per se, but I did hear "Underground" on the way out of the show and thought to myself, "Hey! It's got a beat, and I can dance to it!" So anyway, I think they're groovy and all, and like, I want them to play at my wedding but I can't afford them. Besides, my fiance would want them to play "Dominated Love Slave" by Green Day and they might get offended. :) Now that I've made a complete ass out of myself.... Does anyone else here think "Cigarette" is just one of the most wonderful, outstanding, truly outrageous (JEM! -- sorry, couldn't hold myself back) songs out there? I guess to me, size really *doesn't* matter. You should all do the following -- sit in your car late at night, and turn off the engine so that it's perfectly quiet. Then play "Cigarette" and you'll see what I mean. I actually cried (ok, not rivers or anything...more like a sniffle) the first time I heard it that way. On a more disturbing note, I finally heard that techno version of "Brick" that some wonderful person on this list (sorry, I forget your name....but believe me, you are wonderful and have brought Joy To My Very Core for your contribution) put on his/her page. Before I hit the "play" button on good old WinAmp, I thought, "Ok, it can't be *that* bad, just give it a chance." I'm obviously pretty stupid. All I can say is, "In the name of humanity, NO!" Yep, that's about all that will come out at this point. Anne: Hey, you mentioned "Let's Hear it for the Boy," which I think was by Chaka Kahn. Of course, I may be wrong (it's been known to happen). You seem like you would like this book I got the other day named "PCAT: Pop Culture Aptitude Test." It has tons of quizzes about 80s music, movies, slang, and whodathunk, pop culture. It's a real hoot. Erik: Are you really reading "American Psycho?" I almost bought it at Borders yesterday, since I put it on hold at the library and am only number SIX on the list to get it. Jeez, I know the people where I live screwed up, but come on. I keep hearing how sick it is, and I read a part of it when I saw it, and...yikes. So would you recommend it? :) Well, I would post all this neat-o stuff about *me* (like I just graduated college on May 31st with an English degree, am avidly job hunting [anyone hiring?] and have [hopefully not for much longer] worked at Blockbuster Video as an assistant manager for 4 years and, as a result, I hate all humankind in general, to put it lightly. [Oh, except for all you guys. You rock.] I also have this thing for parentheses. Yay me.), but I'm sure you will all learn about me eventually. Hey, what can I say....to know me is to love me. :) Ok, so I like to pontificate prolifically. That's just One More Thing You Never Knew About Jennifer Auletto. But anyway, I just had to repeat something I read on the MA ... this girl said that when she first heard "Battle of Who Could Care Less" she thought they were saying something to the effect of, "Fine pewter protraits of *Jen Relapathy*" and that she couldn't for the life of her figure out who the Jen character was. That had me literally chuckling. I think I am going to make that my new nickname. Or something. Hugs, kisses, and for the love of God, no MSG, Jen Relapathy A closed mouth invites no foot. ======================================== Jennifer Auletto jenauletto@earthlink.net ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 09:06:07 -0600 From: "Erik C. Lyons" Subject: FL is getting frustrated (Costanza reference) Poor Tom. I am having difficulty getting him set up. But I think I have it straightened out now. But here is a post he has been *dying* to get through to ya'all. Sorry Tom. I think you should be able to post now. If not, the devil is out to get you....or the Spice Girls (yikes)... So, Fjords, heeeeeeeerrrrrrrre's THOMAS!!! >>From: Thomas Kluis >>Subject: exodus from the armchair this is my third attempt at posting due to my having too many email accounts and identities. Hey everyone. I'm new to the list (maybe the armchair battles weren't so bad) but I've been a zealous follower of the band since Feb. 1997. Oh yeah, My name is Thomas Kluis. I'm a student at the University of Minnesota (right now at Morris, but at IT in the fall) majoring in engineering. I guess my best story with Ben has to do with the college station I work at (KUMM, the only station that puts KUMM in your ear). I saw the Boys in June of 97 at first ave in Mlps, and being my friends and I all had comps from the station, we were waiting in line to get into the show. The line conveniently curled past the stage entrance where we were standing. I had brought Ben a KUMM T-shirt (cuz its such a great station) and had it with me. All of a sudden the door flies open and Ben, Robert, Kate, and Darren walk out with some photographer guy. I seem to be the only one in line to recognize them from the mug shots on WAEA. I tell each of them in turn how much I love their songs and the skill they play with, but I decided not to make too much of a scene and I let them go. To my surprise, no one stops them (or even talks to them) as they walk down the sidewalk. Almost like in the cartoons, the light bulb goes on! I forgot to give Ben the shirt, so I sprint down the block and when I'm pretty close to Ben and Kate (holding hands at the time) I say "Hey Ben, you got a sec?". He turns around and I present him with the shirt )adding "Merry Christmas"). Ben says "Do you want anything? and I just said to keep up with the wonderful music." In hindsight, I'd never thought my choice of sizes for the shirt would mater, but alas it did. I gave Mr. Ben Folds an XXL (big on me, 6'1" 220). Oops Anyway, sorry for the length. Hello to everyone on the Files and hope to hear from you in the future. Thomas PS (I love swing dancing too) ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 08:13:18 -0700 From: "Kamp, Marcus S" Subject: Hidee Ho, Kyle! So I wonder if maybe Dave Foley was wearing a hairpiece. I didn't see it, so I wouldn't know (just a nasty habit of posting about things I don't know left over from my days as a brickhead!), but I'm wondering (if he was!) if it's on account of his having a crew cut in his episode of From the Earth To the Moon (which was funny as hell, btw...big surprise!). As far as NXNW goes...sorta like SXSW (the original!), bands hafta have sponsors to even submit tapes. Those sponsors are usually representatives of the media. I've been in contact w/Susan Park from the MA who runs a local weekly here called Jet City Maven, so maybe we'll get her to sponsor us next year-too late for this year, I'm afraid:-(! JESSICA: Do NOT be apologetic, humble, quiet, worried, afraid, or polite about rippin' the Armpit a new one on this list-it's one o' the things we live for!!! Umm...what else...oh yeah! Anniepantsoff (or Anniepantsloudlywhendreamingofmarkusbutdoesnteverybody?!): loved the clock radio memories. I remember very well hearing Owner of a Lonely Heart for the 1st time in just such a situation. It was 1 a them damned infernal call-in rating shows (Hit or Sh*t, I think it was called) & every little 12-year-old girlie-girl loved it. Just think if Brick had been on there! Then we coulda heard the voices of all the moshers on the Stratolounger! That's about it, I guess. Hope everybody dreams about me tonight!!! OH YEAH...ONE MORE THING: Even if you think you don't like sports in general or soccer in particular, watch the US team's World Cup games!!! All of 'em, dammit!!! I'm not one for jingoism or patriotism (but apparently I do love a good redundancy), but in this case I will say...it's our country, dammit! (Except for you, Dave. Lucky you stinkin' Limeys even qualified this year!) That's the damn deal about that! ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 13:39:25 -0600 From: "Erik C. Lyons" Subject: BENTENT from me, of all people. I just finished using Ben's head as a pong paddle at that CONNECTED site. Also sang along like a 5 year-old to KATE! And listened to how Darren is a virgin. (Hey Eric! Are you not the lucky one. He is saving himself for that special someone) So here's my take. I love the heart at the end of Kate. I will *always* be able keep a heart around *my* Kate, which makes this FL happy as a sugar cookie (FL loves sugar cookies!). Ben's head has holes in it because the pong ball kept going through his jaw. Other than that (and I *finally* learned that women take their panty-hose off, stick their foot in the toilet and pee down their leg to use the restroom), it was fun. MORE BENTENT! (God, I rule) So, if the truth be told (and around me, that is seldom), I haven't listened to Benny and the Jets in a LONG, make that a L-O-N-G, time (save the occasional SFTD on FNX). But today was the breakout. I grabbed the S/T and WAEA as I walked out the door back to work. S/T went in first. GOD. I actually got the shivers, but that was because this grrl was in a bikini walking her dog....heh heh, walking the dog....oof, I digress. Really, the music took me back to the Galaxy in STL over a year ago. No sell-out, small venue, and my first time to see them. Woo-hoo. Makes me warm. And, it reminded of how Sony describes them (a piano-driven band). Nothing better! Plus, to all the funnies who *don't* play the air piano to TLP or any other song, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I am Darren, Ben and Robert during all the songs! My poor steering wheel... Goddamn that shyte is cool. But, I must reaffirm my special connection to the S/T CD. By far, to me, it is an example of some of their best sound. I like it. But, I LOVE KATE! Ah, screw it anyway. I would have a tough time deciding which one to take with me on a deserted island. HOLY SHIT, MORE BENTENT! I guess Ben and his Folding Five are going to be back on Conan July 16. (This is a real date). Don't know if it is a re-run. I don't think it will be. Also, Benjamin and Darren and Roberto will be on VH1/Pontiac Sunfire Hard Rock Cafe Live this season. As you may know, they are taping the show soon. Ooo. And Ani will be doing a show also. Kewl. "What else?" "You talkin' to *me*?" "yeah, anything else?" "*you* talkin' to *me*??" "YES! Is there anything else?" "*you* *talkin'* *to* *me*???" "God you are weird. Just forget it. And you sound like a stupid Mexican from the Bronx...." Thank you. Good night. - -FL (two bricks shy of an MA(massive aneurysm)) ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 12:43:05 -0700 (PDT) From: Katie Subject: average age of the _combat_ soldier wasn't it? anyway, did anyone ever see that episode of Puttin on the Hits, that lip-sync show where a guy used that song? It was really freaky - - he did this crazy freeze-but-shake-asif-you're-a-machine-gun-firing-while-your-eyes-bug-out- and-you-look-psycho-but-I-guess-you-are-cause-you're-on-a-lip-sync-show. Didn't he get like the highest score possible (30) for that? wow, i miss the 80's. not that i don't like the name kathryn or its many various spellings and nicknames, but when the hell did it get so damn popular? i want to be unique, just like everyone else! - --katie ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 16:00:22 -0400 (EDT) From: spencerc@usit.net (Spencer Corden) Subject: The first 2-part RF!!! Ah, isssue # 149 will go down in history as the first 2-parter. Welcome to everyone that has come aboard! I will be your tour guide on this attraction. Please keep your hands and feet inside the car until the ride comes to a complete stop. Secrets about some particular RF-ers that they don't want you to know: ERIK (our beloved FL)--says silent prayers nightly for a Cubs pennant. ANNE--drinks Schlitz while watching Card Sharks on Game Show Network. MATTHEW (F2G2)--has never used the shift key. MARCUS--dances naked in his kitchen singing "The Pina Colada" song. ERIC--sell t-shirts that say, "Hail Eris?, Hail YES!" JESSICA--she's *not* just naked for Jesus. She's a blatant nudist. SANDI--apparently has abandoned 10-cent beer nights. COURTNEY--stage managing NXNW, *and* the Springer show w/ Robert. and me...I take Viagra--just as a PRECAUTION!!!! And now on to other business: mattew writes: <> Hey, how did this come back on *me*? Ooooooo, I oughta... OK, I'll do it. Now, you people get in line or "no soup for you!" our FL chastises me w/, <> Between you and matthew, I've gotten bruises from the beating. Can I still be heggemon? ;-) Anne: *Denmother*?!?! ROTFLMAO!!! All in favor, raise your hand. Too late---motion passed, we have a winner! Anniepants has the votes, bow to your denmother. Marcus pens: <> Am I *after* the "keepin' it positive" parenthetics for a reason? ;-) Damn. Just when I thought I wasn't being so "multisyllabic" and pretentious, I get my wrist indirectly (and possilbly inadvertenly) slapped while trying to be diplomatic in response to a flame. KIDDING! Kate wrote: <> Such a shy young woman! I can put it in any format you want, m'dear. You'll have to be fast with a capo until you get past those first 6 chords though! And the whole HGTV Gardens of Australia thing. Ugh. The producer didn't like my idea and had to go into edit bay the next day, so somebody else did it. I got assigned to do all the music for the Father's Day spots on HGTV and some weather music for station KNXV out of uh...Phoenix, I think. Thank god I don't take the rejection personally, or I'd really be hurting. Disneyworld is kickin' mucho ass. I got a kiss from Minnie Mouse yesterday at the MGM studios. Woo hoo!!! I'm finally young again! MY OBLIGATORY BEN-TENT: There's a store in EPCOT called "The Fjording". It's in the Norway part. I took some pics of the sign outside, and will distibute them to everybody in jpeg format as soon as I get back from South Carolina next week. The "private" shots of me with Minnie will be distributed on a need to know basis only. Mickey would be furious, you know. ;-) May all your dreams be "annelyze-able", Spencer "ramble till the cows come home" Corden ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 18:32:33 -0500 From: Clayton Smith Subject: First post, Man I love it here!!! Hey guys! This list is great! My name is Clayton Smith and im from down south in Austin, Texas and first off i wanna say thanks to Scott and Megan for helping me get on this gravy boat full of fun and Spencer, you rock!!! Your post was cool. Erik and Marcus have been entertaining me too. but thats not to say that you dont all rock because you all do. I know that some of you were at the BFF austin show...I thought it rocked! I also wanted to say that lately the armchair has got me a little bothered....the thing that i really hated is when some concert going newbie(nothing wrong with that) asked what G.A. seating was and some *&%$ posted that it was "gay airhead seating" where you have to sit by yourself for being a moron. We really didnt need that. I particlularly enjoy Marcus' names for the MA...Well ill be heading out now...I look foward to more of this great list we like to call the Rockford Files..... Clayton Smith ...stay tuned for the mother of all BFF webpages(except of course for homepage for the dumped! that one rocks too much for me to handle... ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 18:46:23 PDT From: "Jessica *" Subject: Master of all things sexy, aka Dave Foley >>Hmm..and since many of us have had Dave Foley phases...i was watching Newsradio tonight, and did anyone else notice that it looked like he was wearing a hairpiece? I mean wow, it just SO didn't look real!<< WHAT THE...? O.K....Normally the RFs are enjoyable enough without me feeling I have to contribute...But you mess with Dave, you mess with ME! (Did that sound tough? huh?) Dave Foley does NOT wear a hairpiece. He just doesn't. He can't. I think his hair color just changed. Honest! I'm almost in tears! (WHY do I always fall for the wrong guys?) And I personally find redheads VERY sexy. (Speaking of redheads, y'all seem like a sexy bunch...Any flamin' redheads here?) (FieryLox need not answer, I can guess!) Also, if someone has that MA that you all infiltrated, PLEASE mail it to me! I don't subscribe, and I can't find it posted....PLEASE!!! I really want to read all your clever antics! Ralph~ I forgot to metion.....Remeber when I told you to do something really embarassing at your prom that would be passed down in oral tradition for years to come by your peers? Ya? Well...Don't. See, I forgot to ask if you're an OAC...If you're not, well....Do you really want to return in September and be known as Full Moon Boy? Trust me on this one.... THE ONE~ No wait, I'm terrible at this stuff.....But since the heading's already there..... THE ONE can't just be someone you LOVE, or LUST after. You have to really LIKE them. ( I LIKE stressing THESE words....) It's the ONE if you can peer into your future and still want to be with them in a decade... Of course, this coming from me....who considers a steady relationship tuning in every week.... BENTENT: At the risk of being seriously flamed, I need to get this off...Whoever said they had a good time smoking weed with Darren, well, that broke my heart. i was so happy to find a band that I loved, that even my mom liked.... Why can't there be any musicians into cleen living? I know, I'm young, naive, impressionable, but I love the Five, and i guess I can't help but apply the values I judge myself by when I consider other people..... So go ahead, flame away.... One last thing....Since there's another Jessica on here now, can I be "J"? Who's in charge of such things? it's always been a dream of mine to be known as a solitary letter.....*sigh* Shakes to you, and your crew. J (essica) P.S: Does Ben still love Rocker Tommy Lee? ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 23:15:47 EDT From: JGreenb106@aol.com Subject: DR. Pyser/Sorry Hey everyone. Well, sorry for misunderstanding the whole MA "assault" thing...I joined this list just as it was beginning, and was a little unclear...i'm OK now. Onto my other "bentent": a few months ago i was at a school dance with someone, and the DJ had taken a brake while a bunch of kids from the school who were in a band took the stage. They opened up with a spacehog cover, then did a few police covers, I believe. I already was impressed, when they suddenly launched into "Pyser"...Miserlou middle section and everything!!! It was pretty amazing...even if the "piano" was a yamaha keyboard, it still sounded great...I was completely unexpecting that at a dance that featured the music of puff Daddy and the Backstreet Boys. No one around me could really understand my excitement though...oh well. For those asking about the y-100 fest, it was about 45 minutes or so long...they were supposed to do many other songs but weren;t able to because Wyclef Jean never showed up, which delayed everything, as you might've already heard. Oh well...still a good show. ari ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 11 Jun 1998 00:22:33 -0400 (EDT) From: Ginger Nance Subject: have a fruit roll-up...aren't you gonna eat it?! Um, a few quick things*: 1--Is it just me or does Dan (from Semisonic), when he has his glasses on, not look like a male Lisa Loeb? 2--my best friend caught dave on conan the other night..i'm talking about foley by the way...and she was upset b/c she has always been in love with him (i'm a mark mckinney girl, myself) and was lamenting his thinning, gray hair. sad, the poor guy's starting to look old. 3--go me! banner weekend! got a date with a cute guy from work friday and then bff on sunday! woo-hoo!** Ginger :) *--why do I always say "a few quick things" and then, tonight being an exception, ramble on and on? **--not to be confused with song #3, just a statement of my excitement Ooooo Ginger Nance ( ) ginger_nance@unc.edu ) ( http://www.unc.edu/~gnance (o) GO HEELS!! ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 10 Jun 1998 23:55:17 PDT From: "Adam Jeffrey" Subject: Introduction from Oz...... Hi y'all I have finally decided that I have lurked on this fine mailing list for long enough...and so I now choose to emerge from the shadows and reveal myself in all my glory... Now, none of you know me from a bar of soap...(except that I am not as slippery...) but my name is Adam and I reside in the lovely city of Perth in Western Australia. I have loved BFF since a mate introduced me to "Underground"...way back when it was first around 'down under'. I have been lucky enough to have seen them live when they last played here...and it is only 39 more sleeps until I see them again. (Can't bloody wait...) I must say that I find reading the RF refreshing and entertaining.. I can't say that I often laugh out loud when reading e-mail...It is a welcome alternative to the MA and a loud "congrats" is sent to those in the know from Oz.... I am beginning to see how everyone fits into this fine publication. I now know where to come if I have a dream that needs unravelling...It was also grouse to find another person who is attached to an overuse of ellipses... Well - I think I have used up enough space here... I look forward to an intellectually stimulating time in this here forum... Yours in double dissolutions of parliament (I have exams and so am studying hard) Adam from Oz ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #150 *********************************