From: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org (The Rockford Files) To: rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Subject: The Rockford Files V1 #97 Reply-To: rockford-files@smoe.org Sender: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-rockford-files-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk The Rockford Files Thursday, April 23 1998 Volume 01 : Number 097 Today's Filings: ----------------- Why oh why... Dentist's Visit Wowsers! More Fiction! Shara kicks my butt with niceness ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 22 Apr 1998 09:47:14 EDT From: Lennonita Subject: Why oh why... ...must the Brick singles be 10 dollars here, apiece, when in London I picked them up for a paltry 2 pounds (about $3.35)each? And why oh why must I be such a spastic that I didn't buy said singles for my boyfriend who between this and me going my prom in a group with a gay couple is about ready to kill me? For whatever reasons, there I was wandering around Tower last night, clutching the two singles to buy for myself because I will send him my English-bought singles, muttering, "Why am I doing this? This is expensive. Why am I letting him subliminally goad me into doing this?" The answer, of course, is that I love the guy and in all honesty, don't mind spending money on him. Still felt like an idiot, though. Bentent?! Yowza. How about plain ol' Fjordtent? Love the fanfic, love the asteriks. Hate the MA. Even the red ones, which was cool once, but now I get a migraine from trying to read through it. Missed Bacharach because, again, I am spastic. Can't stand Jesse the VJ. It's like Pauly Shore all over again. I wanted Dave the BFF guy to win. (Who didn't?!) Can't wait for May 8. I hate school! Since my back is killing me and I can't breathe, that is all. Ta-ra. Meg the Still Walking, yet More Wounded ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 22 Apr 1998 18:54:05 -0400 From: Shara_Hoffman@hths.mcvsd.k12.nj.us (Shara Hoffman) Subject: Dentist's Visit I just returned from a dentist's appointment. you are probably wondering why any of you might care. however, they recently installed a tv that you can watch while getting your teeth worked on. it was tuned to vh1. i was watching & they had this 60 second album review. well, they were talking about WAEA. they showed clips of brick, and said how the entire album was great. one word i remember them using is hummable. quite interesting. however, after that, i had to sit through a mariah carey video. i like what i have heard of the big bad voodo daddies and cherry poppin daddies. i think of them together because one of my friends has seen both of them at local shows. maybe a strange reason. oh well. i really liked the bacharach special. i had a friend tape it for me since i don't get tnt. before i even got the tape, i downloaded the raindrops mp3 from the bff audio archive. i don't think i've ever heard that entire song before. yeah, i liked it a lot. for anybody into semisonic, they will be on la live tonight at 9:15 pm pacific time. bff is still on the coming soon list for la live. the other day after playing sftd, the dj on the radio said that ben folds sounds really mad. he's always mad. .. he went on about this for about a minute. it was cute though becuase the dj is cool & he was being quite sarcastic. i think i'll go now. have a nice day. - -shara ______________________________________ Monmouth County Vocational School District High Technology High School P.O. Box 119 Lincroft, New Jersey 07738 www.hths.mcvsd.k12.nj.us _______________________________________ ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 23 Apr 1998 01:41:26 -0400 From: Amanda McClintock Subject: Wowsers! More Fiction! Hey do you kids all realize that we are soon approaching the 100th issue of the Rockford Files... I can remember just yesterday when our leader Erik told me of his new list and invited me aboard, I joined without a wink and have been ever so content since. Yes I have left behind the confusing misery of the armchair and found the love of the files... and all is good! I keep thinking we should do something special for our milestone, but no great ideas come to me head... Anyone else have any brainstorms? I guess the only bentent that I have today is that of an old thought of mine. For sometime now as I gaze at pictures of Robert I can't help but notice how feline his features are... Does anyone else see this, I mean if he was in KISS, Rob would be the drummer for sure. Of course I could just be crazy.... Now for a small installment of Fjordian Fiction: It was a stormy night on the boys thrithith strait month of touring. As the bus bounded along the freeway, Ben sat reading some Lewis Carrol novel, and Darren was passed out. Rober was.... well were was Robert? There was a crash of thunder as the small bathroom door slid open and Robert emerged. His hair was wiley, and his skin was a pasty white. It had seemed that the long months of touring had begun to take they're toll on poor Robert. Ben looked up from his book and gasped in horror! "My god boy, why in the hell are you wearing a completely red outfit!" Robert spoke not a word and simply went to the fridge and began to open a bottle of ketchup and drink it down. "Holy shit!, Stop Robert, that's F#$king catsup!, my god have you gone mad!" Ben quickly slapped Robert upside the head and he slowly came back to reality. "Oh, god, what am I doing?", Robert swayed with the surging of the bus wheels, Ben steadied him and helped him to the table. "It's happening again... damn." Both Ben and Robert knew what had happened. It seems that every small to mid sized venue in the nation has the same exact lighting set-up, and because the five set-up on the stage the same every gig, Robert had been exposed to the intense red lighting that always seemed to gravitate to audience right. The two knew what had to be done at the next gig, so with that decision both decided to get some sleep while they could. (All this time Darren remained passed out!) When the five arrived at their next venue, they directed the roadies to arrange the instruments in the way that Ben and Robert knew was the only way to help Rob get over his horiible Kenny Roasters Red vision (seinfeld reference). The only downfall to their plan was that now robert would be center stage, and Darren was to audience right, now Darren would not be affected by the intense red lighting sense he isn't effected by much in general, but Robert also had a problem with the spotlight. You see when ever the spotlight was placed on him he would turn into this attention hording crazy man that would do anything to please a crowd, the band knew this after Robert told them of his 5th grade musical. (What happened there can never be repeated for fear of hurting the innocent.) With all of this riding on the light man Ben took him aside and gave him explicit instructions to make sure no spotlights were used! The show began and all was going well until the set list had come to FAIR, Ben introduced the song, "This next song is about a real story I read in a Carolina paper and it features Robert Sledge on the bass guitar." With those words the lighting man made a horrible mistake and directed the spoltlight to Robert. Ben and Darren shreiked in horror, but it was too late. Robert's eyes began glow with excitement, a smirk ran acrossed his face and then it began.... "You know there is one thing that I have always wanted to do, but since Darren isn't gay I will have to settle for second best. I have always wanted to have, 100's no 1000's of people waving their hands from side to side just like this... Because I want to be a DISCO DIVA, are you with me!" The crowd went nuts, and Ben and Darren just followed along as best they could fearing Roberts wrath if they should stop! After the disco diva bit, Robert went into a fourty minute improve where he covered songs from Hendrix, to Nugent, to even Rocker Tomi Lee... At the end Ben and Darren were exausted, the crowd was jumping, and Robert collapsed. When he recovered, Ben and Darren were at his side. "You were amazing!" Darren beamed! "I told them not to use the spotlight, someones going down!" exclaimed Ben. "No, I should be fine, I am just an amazing man, and I need to get that out of my system everynow and then... I know one day I will again take center stage, and my true powers will be unleashed... it is only a matter of time" THE END Hope you liked it! Amanda McClintock ________________________________________________________________________ Gavin-"Mom can I keep him, I will call him Mr. Stevenson" Mom-"Now a business man is a lot of responsibility, you have to take him to the office, and get him fresh Martinis every night after work..." - --------------------------------------------------Kids in the Hall------ ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 23 Apr 1998 02:31:58 -0400 From: Carrie Subject: Shara kicks my butt with niceness People on this mailling list are SO good to me! I love you all! :-) Shara (of Rock-Rock, Rock 'n' Roll High School) alerted me of Bogmen AND Semisonic info (just in time for the LA Live SS concert)! Shara gets a cookie. The Semisonic concert, despite looking "like a Godzilla movie," was excellent. I kept sitting here saying, "Oh, I hope they play... OH! They're playing it!!! And next I hope they do... YEE!! Score again!!" What a fine, fine band it is! They're playing Omaha, NE instead of KC, which kinda bites my butt, but I know they've got some particularly pushy fans there, and, hell. I can drive! My point is, Shara rules the school (rock-rock, rock 'n' roll high school). I have a Chem test tomorrow. My mother wants to take me out afterward, being that she's in town for the week. I don't know if she WANTS to see me in tears... :-( Playing/been playing: Morphine - Cure for Pain (I think it's time for me to finally introduce you to the buena, buena, buena, buena, goodgoodgood...) Soundgarden - Badmotorfinger (Dear freshman year in high school, where are you now?) Pearl Jam - Versus (yes, really. Again, freshman reminiscences) The Fire Compilation (my friend Ben's 110min tape full of songs about fire) The Urge - (Overall, it's been a loud-screaming-music week. "Would you please shut up?") I can't wait till the BFF-featuring Sunflower Fest in Lawrence May 16th!! M'girl Julie's trying to get backstage passes for our hot asses. (See why I'm an English major?) Your Carrie, brought to you by Gevalia Kaffe. Mmm.... Gevalia... ------------------------------ End of The Rockford Files V1 #97 ********************************