From: owner-precious-things-digest@smoe.org (precious-things-digest) To: precious-things-digest@smoe.org Subject: precious-things-digest V3 #401 Reply-To: precious-things@smoe.org Sender: owner-precious-things-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-precious-things-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk X-To-Unsubscribe: Send mail to "precious-things-digest-request@smoe.org" X-To-Unsubscribe: with "unsubscribe" as the body. precious-things-digest Wednesday, November 18 1998 Volume 03 : Number 401 Today's Subjects: ----------------- this is where my spark is [Bobdel123@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 17 Nov 1998 20:56:33 EST From: Bobdel123@aol.com Subject: this is where my spark is hey all you tori fans. i know i normally just sit back and watch the water ripple, but here lately i have been outspoken. so i heard someone talking about how the main reason they joined this list was for interpretations. well i'm gonna take a stab at it. here goes. SPARK * first a small liner note. in my interpretation tori is not beign autobiographical but in a way she is. i have interpreted it to my life by what she is saying. for those of you that follow me, you scare me cause i can't even follow myself. she's addicted to nicotine patches she's addicted to nicotine patches - -- okay tori lost a baby. this is something we all know. she ran to florida to escape the pain. okay i take this to be her speaking of the addiction to grief. grief isn't any better than a death. in retrospect no, but here they are equal. to cure her addiction to the death of her child she has gone to grief as a safehold. smokers go to nicotine patches to escape cigarettes. the cure is no better than the problem here. to get rid of an addiction she has gained another one -- she's afraid of a light in the dark - -- okay i think that here she is speaking of her songs as console. as humans we go to people to animals to nature (you get my point). tori goes to her songs. instead of welcoming them with open arms she is reluctant because what if they abandon her like the baby. sometimes we reject to escape rejection, and she is trying to stay away from her console to keep from loosing again -- 6:58 are you sure where my spark is - -- people are constantly telling us that everything is alright. do these people know exactly what is wrong with us? most probable not. the songs tell her there is escape and comfort. yet she is questioning them. she is asking if the know where her fire is, where her spark is -- here. here. here. - -- self realization. she knows now that she is her own spark. we draw our comfort from our innerself not from outside forces, and only then can we go on - -- she's convinced she can hold back a glacier but she couldn't keep baby alive - -- this is in refrence to how she tried to do it all (the tour, the baby, christmas, a boyfriend, and the music). the struggle was not easy for her to overcome. she is so strong but so weak that she is unable to keep a simple human life going. we all try to suceed that sometimes the most important thigns to us are lost in with the mush. we forget our priorities to meet a deadline or to just prove to ourselves that we can do it -- doubting if there is a woman in there somewhere - -- she begins to doubt herself as a woman, and her capacity to be all that she can be (in the army baby; lol). we begin to hate ourselves and think less of being a human being because we just couldn't handle this one little thing. the easiest task is always the most crucial to our lives, and our struggle with life and death -- you say you don't want it again and again but you don't really mean it you say you don't want it this circus we're in but you don't don't really mean it you don't really mean it - -- this is a little earthquakes refrence. in me and a gun she talks about jesus and how he doesn't think that she'll be back in three days time. she doesn't want to have to deal with this trauma. to escape through death or the same way the problem left is the answer. in saying that she wants to stop going on to stop functioning, she is lying to herself. she's trying to make herself believe that what she says is true. we try to make it not there to make things go away, but we don't really want it to go away because it is making us whole. the event that happens happens for a reason and we know that which stops us from lying to ourselves -- if the divine master plan is perfection maybe next i'll give judas a try - -- if she was meant to be perfect then she can trust herself to a traitor. she knows that there is no perfect and atilla the honey can do better with judas iscariot than with anyone else holy. we know that perfection is not ours to achive, and here again is the self realization that we are not perfect its not all us -- trusting my soul to the ice cream assasin - -- this could be a beratement of herself. the ice cream assassin being the devil. for killing this child she believes that she has committed a mortal and grave sin. her body may not be gone yet, but her soul already is entrusted to him. we all blame ourselves and pin ourselves murderers before we can be judged for things that are not our fault -- you say... - -- self reliazation after beratement -- how many fates turn around in the overtime - -- how hard does the higher power have to work to destroy so many lives, and create such destruction. her she is pointing fingers at all deities for their hard effort to bring down people. we call upon god in our darkest hour not to ask for help but to accuse him of doing this to us. its easier for us to point at someone else for the entire blame -- ballerina's that have fins that you'll never find - -- this is refrence to herself. she is speakign of trusting her soul to the ice cream assassin. she wanted to be a ballerina when she was little i believe if not it still aplies. so god - the good force - will never see her fins that aid her in her dance. its us calling out and damnign the one we point fingers at. since its there fault they will be missing out -- you thought you were the bomb yes well so did i - -- this is the constant struggle between the heavens and humans. this has nothing to do with tori but with the human being. we try so hard that we think we are on the same level as a god. we are the bomb and then we are sent back into reality and find that the higher power has struck us back to where we belong -- you say... - -- realization that we are at fault again and depression setting in again -- she's addicted... - -- the realization that we will go on there is hope and console in the light at the end of the tunnel. we just have to have the energy to travel down the dark path to the light. which is usually the hardest task to take on -- okay there you go. i hope it wasn't tooooooo boring. sorry it kinda went on. i thank all of you who made the entire interpretaion. all love in tori bob ------------------------------ End of precious-things-digest V3 #401 *************************************