From: owner-oztori-digest@smoe.org (oztori-digest) To: oztori-digest@smoe.org Subject: oztori-digest V3 #71 Reply-To: oztori@smoe.org Sender: owner-oztori-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-oztori-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk oztori-digest Monday, March 10 2003 Volume 03 : Number 071 Today's Subjects: ----------------- [oztori] C&N news [Nathan "®" ] [oztori] who thinks... [Nathan "®" ] [oztori] 'how's this thought for you'... [Nathan "®" ] Re: [oztori] C&N news [Dylan Plant ] Re: [oztori] WTF? ["Holly Williamson" ] [oztori] "you say I ordered you a weed-killer cake*" [Nathan "®" Subject: [oztori] C&N news Ceals & Nayf available for #oztori consulation 8:13pm. Nathan. ===== "Hi, you've phoned the Speech Pathology Department. We can't talk right now." "Oh dear, did I crash my car again? Did I kill another friend? Oh, life's so tragic!" - 'Oh Dear', Shakespears Sister ___________________________________________________________________ Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more http://taxes.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 02:56:08 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan "®" Subject: [oztori] who thinks... "Revenge Revenge Revenge Revenge" woulda been a better title for Boys For Pele?! Nathan. ===== "Hi, you've phoned the Speech Pathology Department. We can't talk right now." "Oh dear, did I crash my car again? Did I kill another friend? Oh, life's so tragic!" - 'Oh Dear', Shakespears Sister ___________________________________________________________________ Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more http://taxes.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 04:28:20 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan "®" Subject: [oztori] 'how's this thought for you'... "Pancake" would be better titled as "Fruitcake". Discuss. Nathan. ===== "Hi, you've phoned the Speech Pathology Department. We can't talk right now." "Oh dear, did I crash my car again? Did I kill another friend? Oh, life's so tragic!" - 'Oh Dear', Shakespears Sister ___________________________________________________________________ Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more http://taxes.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 20:44:49 +0800 From: "ennui" Subject: RE: [oztori] 'how's this thought for you'... >"Pancake" would be better titled as "Fruitcake". >Discuss. you say i ordered you a fruitcake - and after you eat six of them stacked on a plate with maple syrup and a blob of butterscotch icecream, you will explode. no, i think "pancake" works better for me lyrically better::butter _ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2003 01:04:31 +1100 From: Dylan Plant Subject: Re: [oztori] C&N news Way OT, but I just watched the Naked News on the Comedy Channel - disturbing, bizarre and absolutely hilarious!!!! Naked chicks..eww....(sorry ladies) Nathan . wrote: >Ceals & Nayf available for #oztori consulation 8:13pm. > >Nathan. > >===== >"Hi, you've phoned the Speech Pathology Department. We can't talk right now." > >"Oh dear, did I crash my car again? >Did I kill another friend? >Oh, life's so tragic!" - 'Oh Dear', Shakespears Sister >___________________________________________________________________ >Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more >http://taxes.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2003 09:09:32 +1000 From: "Holly Williamson" Subject: Re: [oztori] WTF? nathan, who continually manages to brighten my day, wrote: >http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tori-x-philes/message/1125 > >and > >http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tori-x-philes/message/1126 > > >Nathan. HAHAHAHA ROFL! That is hilarious, firstly that you actually wrote that awesome article (complete with reference to 'New South Wales, Austria') and secondly that those two stoopid people actually fell for it. OMFG!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love it. Keep up the good work, Nath. Holly. _________________________________________________________________ Hotmail now available on Australian mobile phones. Go to http://ninemsn.com.au/mobilecentral/hotmail_mobile.asp ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 16:56:04 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan "®" Subject: [oztori] "you say I ordered you a weed-killer cake*" (* I have a recollection of hearing on the radio that somebody actually sent Craig McLachlan a cake with weed-killer in it in the early 90's!!!) 'Holly-wood if I wood but you never wood' Williamson wrote: > nathan, who continually manages to brighten my day, Oh thanks... So I'm like the equivalent of a Crunchie then (remember those 80's ads.. "change the colour of your day.. CRUNCHIE!" ...Tori content: "like a honeycomb" - from the flip-side of the Tori Amos V Andy Gray ditty "Let's Do It Again", otherwise known as "Sampler"). > HAHAHAHA ROFL! That is hilarious, firstly that you > actually wrote that > awesome article Thanks... it finally gets some lovin' a mere 4 months after it was written ;) > (complete with reference to 'New > South Wales, Austria') and > secondly that those two stoopid people actually fell > for it. The thing I can't understand is.. I had something like ("another stupid article") written in the subject heading.. yet they STILL didn't geddit! > Keep up the good work, Nath. You really *shouldn't* encourage me, y'know. Nathan. ===== "Hi, you've phoned the Speech Pathology Department. We can't talk right now." "Oh dear, did I crash my car again? Did I kill another friend? Oh, life's so tragic!" - 'Oh Dear', Shakespears Sister ___________________________________________________________________ Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more http://taxes.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2003 12:09:01 +1100 From: Jonceski Jasmina Subject: Re: [oztori] "you say I ordered you a weed-killer cake*" > Thanks... it finally gets some lovin' a mere 4 months > after it was written ;) Yeah, Nayth, I remember I forwarded it to my sister and she thought you were an even bigger freak that she already thought. She seriously thinks you're one scary mofo. Much to my amusement. And I'm still waiting for this article! *Amos's 'Ode to the Banana King': rumoured to be about Michael Jackson and his relationship with Bubbles > The thing I can't understand is.. I had something like > ("another stupid article") written in the subject > heading.. yet they STILL didn't geddit! it was on a Tori list remember, average IQ is deemed to have been lowered by factors I choose not to divulge on here ;) Cheers, Jas ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 17:24:48 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan "®" Subject: Re: [oztori] "you say I ordered you a weed-killer cake*" Jonceski Jasmina wrote: > > Thanks... it finally gets some lovin' a mere 4 > months > > after it was written ;) > > Yeah, Nayth, I remember I forwarded it to my sister > and she thought you were an even bigger freak that > she already thought. She seriously thinks you're one > scary mofo. Much to my amusement. LOL... Oh but I *am*! > And I'm still waiting for this article! > *Amos's 'Ode to the Banana King': rumoured to be > about > Michael Jackson and his relationship with Bubbles lol thanks for reminding me of that.. I completely forgot... I'll write it when I next feel the 'muses' calling me. Norfin. ===== "Hi, you've phoned the Speech Pathology Department. We can't talk right now." "Oh dear, did I crash my car again? Did I kill another friend? Oh, life's so tragic!" - 'Oh Dear', Shakespears Sister ___________________________________________________________________ Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more http://taxes.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 18:11:01 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan "®" Subject: [oztori] Amos admits she allows daughter to sleep in Michael Jackson's bed.... MARCH 10, 2003: - ----------------- TORI AMOS, US pop-star-painist-on-a-benzodiazepene, and hit singer of "Who Will Save Your Soul", "The Big Picture", "Looking for Eldorado" and "Snow Cherries From France", has spoken out in defence of Michael Jackson, following the recent defamatory Martin Bashir documentary. "As much as I don't talk about my relationship with Michael... I'm going to.. right now!" scorns the former Y Kant Tori Read singer. Amos admits she has let her 2.5 year old daughter, Natashya Lorien, sleep in the plastic-one's bed on numerous occasions. "Michael is a wonderful, wonderful person," beams Amos, clothed in somewhat frumpy-looking Rowe-esque apparel. "He would never dream of laying a gloved finger on my daughter." Amos struck up a relationship with former wife and supposed mother of 2/3rds of Jackson's children, Debbie Rowe, after the two of them met at a "cure for lesbianity" intensive program at Dr Edison Amos's church. It was through Debbie that Amos first became acquainted with the star brother of LaToya Jackson. "Debbie & I bonded instantly," recalls Amos. "After we completed our therapy, we would often spend time together fawning over pictures of desirable men we saw in dating catalogues. It just so happened that Debbie hooked up with Michael, and I hooked up with Mark [Hawley, Amos's husband & father of daughter Natashya] at around the same time. We would often double-date and go on the rides together at Neverland. When Debbie became pregnant with Michael's first child, I remember feeling her swollen belly... which inspired a line in my 1996 b-side, Frog On My Toe, where I sing [breaks into tune, albeit off-key] "we all grew fat, when the white man [Michael] came [into the semen collection jar]". Amos then burst into tears as she recalled the look on Michael Jackson's face when both were present at the birth of Prince Michael I. "Michael is such a loving, kind and generous man. Natashya has stayed at his house and slept in the same bed as Michael many, many times.... She loves going there. They have milk and cookies in bed... It's very elegant. It's very loving." When asked of her opinion on the amount of surgery Michael has had, Amos bites back, "I know that he has only had 2 operations... both on his nose. [starts giggling] Actually.. can I let you in on a secret?" "Yes," I reply. "Michael actually needed the nose operations after I thwacked him in the nose as a child," reveals Amos. You see, he was actually 'Mr Jim's daughter' in my Toodles Mr Jim song. There was blood splattered, swattered everywhere! He was disrespecting my mother, so I gave him one!" Amos also vehemently denies the rumours that she did not have 2 miscarriages prior to giving birth to Natashya... but rather, she concealed her pregnancies and was actually giving birth to Michael's children! "That's just tabloids.. That's just IGNORANCE," froths Amos. "It's all lies. I think they should have a day where they gather all the tabloids and just burn them. It's all ignorance." Amos includes Jackson amongst her closest friends, and has no qualms about letting her daughter spend the night with him. "I wrote Jackie's Strength about Michael", says Amos. "I had originally titled it 'Jacko's Strength', but there was talk of possible legal action being taken by the former Sydney Swans AFL football player in Australia if I did that, so I had to compromise." When asked if Amos is at all disturbed by the child-abuse allegations made against Michael, she retorts: "Michael would never ever do any of those horrible, horrible things to Tash... I mean, she's a girl for chrissakes! Michael only does those things to boys!" "And even if he did... it would give her something to write about as an adult. She could have the next big 'Me and a Gun'-type hit! Only it would be "Me and a Glove"! - ------------------------------------------------------ Nathan. ===== "Hi, you've phoned the Speech Pathology Department. We can't talk right now." "Oh dear, did I crash my car again? Did I kill another friend? Oh, life's so tragic!" - 'Oh Dear', Shakespears Sister ___________________________________________________________________ Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more http://taxes.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2003 13:42:47 +1000 From: "Holly Williamson" Subject: Re: [oztori] Amos admits she allows daughter to sleep in Michael Jackson's bed.... OMG nath, at first i was laughing, and now.... i'm dying from lack of oxygen. Yuck, ew, hahah, hehe, gross. I mean GROUSE. What a grouse article! I DARE YOU to post it on the tori forumz. and then give us the link so we can keep track of it. go on.... i DARE you! holly. _________________________________________________________________ MSN Instant Messenger now available on Australian mobile phones. Go to http://ninemsn.com.au/mobilecentral/hotmail_messenger.asp ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 19:51:26 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan "®" Subject: Re: [oztori] Amos admits she allows daughter to sleep in Michael Jackson's bed.... Holly Williamson wrote: > OMG nath, at first i was laughing, and now.... i'm > dying from lack of > oxygen. Yuck, ew, hahah, hehe, gross. I mean > GROUSE. What a grouse > article! > > I DARE YOU to post it on the tori forumz. and then > give us the link so we > can keep track of it. go on.... i DARE you! > holly. OK... Done: http://www.atforumz.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=182065 Nathan. ===== "Hi, you've phoned the Speech Pathology Department. We can't talk right now." "Oh dear, did I crash my car again? Did I kill another friend? Oh, life's so tragic!" - 'Oh Dear', Shakespears Sister ___________________________________________________________________ Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more http://taxes.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2003 14:10:00 +1000 From: "Holly Williamson" Subject: Re: [oztori] Amos admits she allows daughter to sleep in Michael Jackson's bed.... well done nath. only, you admitted to writing it at the crucial moment?! haha. hehe. you nearly had them going. btw, jas told me to tell you she told you to tell me that you told her you would complete burning the JFiles on disc for moi? Sooo....... how's it going dude..... :-) ;-) lots of love and sloppy kisses holly. _________________________________________________________________ Hotmail now available on Australian mobile phones. Go to http://ninemsn.com.au/mobilecentral/hotmail_mobile.asp ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 20:44:47 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan "®" Subject: [oztori] More dent shenaniganz (for Holz) I decided to put up the 'complete collection' of Tori articles I've written on the ex-dent forumz: http://www.atforumz.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=182076 http://www.atforumz.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=182078 http://www.atforumz.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=182073 http://www.atforumz.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=182065 http://www.atforumz.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=182082 http://www.atforumz.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=182080 Nathan. ===== "Hi, you've phoned the Speech Pathology Department. We can't talk right now." "And all the pretty people that I used to see Have died or moved away Or they're in recovery" - - 'I Can Drive', Shakespears Sister ___________________________________________________________________ Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more http://taxes.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 20:55:05 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan "®" Subject: Re: [oztori] Amos admits she allows daughter to sleep in Michael Jackson's bed.... Holly Williamson wrote: > well done nath. only, you admitted to writing it at > the crucial moment?! > haha. hehe. you nearly had them going. Well I don't know who would honestly believe it! > btw, jas told me to tell you she told you to tell me > that you told her you > would complete burning the JFiles on disc for moi? > Sooo....... how's it > going dude..... :-) ;-) *cough*. Damn you're going to have to force me to do it now b/c you seem to be such an ardent devotee of mine ;) What do I get out of it? (although you must know the sound quality of these discs leaves... rather a bit to be desired). Norfin. ===== "Hi, you've phoned the Speech Pathology Department. We can't talk right now." "And all the pretty people that I used to see Have died or moved away Or they're in recovery" - - 'I Can Drive', Shakespears Sister ___________________________________________________________________ Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more http://taxes.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 23:15:07 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan "®" Subject: [oztori] shocking revelation re: the naming of Tori's albums! If you take the first letter of each of Tori's solo albums (ie, L, U, B, F, T, S, S) and re-arrange them, you get: "Slut BF's" (Slut Boyfriends)!!! Purely a coincidence? Nathan. ===== "Hi, you've phoned the Speech Pathology Department. We can't talk right now." "And all the pretty people that I used to see Have died or moved away Or they're in recovery" - - 'I Can Drive', Shakespears Sister ___________________________________________________________________ Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more http://taxes.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ End of oztori-digest V3 #71 ***************************