From: owner-oztori-digest@smoe.org (oztori-digest) To: oztori-digest@smoe.org Subject: oztori-digest V2 #210 Reply-To: oztori@smoe.org Sender: owner-oztori-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-oztori-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk oztori-digest Friday, July 19 2002 Volume 02 : Number 210 Today's Subjects: ----------------- [oztori] I can so see that 'digest' was a bad idea ... (Part I) [=?iso-88] [oztori] I can so see that 'digest' was a bad idea ... (Part 2) [=?iso-88] [oztori] I can so see that 'digest' was a bad idea ... (Part 3) [=?iso-88] Re: [oztori] straightacting quizzie! on the off topic ["Too Much" <2much@] [oztori] Stargate - yes again... and music. [AndrewR ] Re: [oztori] I can so see that 'digest' was a bad idea ... (Part 3) ["Lav] [oztori] kardonnay kardonnay you pack of shunts! ["Bevan Burkin" Subject: [oztori] I can so see that 'digest' was a bad idea ... (Part I) Okay, so I sent a really long email last night, to no avail. Renee informs me that emails that are too long bounce here, so I'm going to split this up into three parts. (Btw, hi Renee!) [ACT I - in which we are introduced to the players and Hamlet Prince of Denmark receives a visitation from the ghost of King Hamlet, his late father.] Thank you all for the welcomes!!! ... I'm afraid I'm gonna totally bar off ettiquette here, and do a big bulk reply-type-thing. But, okay, do I really have to do the inline-quote-of-a-quote thing? Can I just paraphrase? Is that a bannable offence? If so, I'm going to commit a double offence by also answering in point form. tee hee To Nathan: * nope, my name's not Posterino. But some of my best friends are Posterinos ;-) (j/k). "Posterino" sounds like something Ned Flander's would have on his wall. ugh. Even I know that was a terrible joke ... * I had initially written something much harsher about the @forumz, but erased it b/c I didn't want to come across as too downbeat in my first email. Seriously, there are some decent people there if you're willing to look. Hard. * thanks for the run-down. But will I be blacklisted if I say I *liked* SLG? (well, two-thirds of it, anyway). * BA/LLB actually (please don't judge me too harsh for that). Just finished all my courses for the LLB bit. Haven't done the enrolling in multiple uncompleted courses thing, but I do have a major case of on-again-off-again Honours. * Can I answer your quiz 'out loud' in lieu of the life story? Further Julian wishes to answer this in the third person. The 'How stereotypical a Tori Amos fan are you?" quiz: Note down your answers on a piece of paper, and refer to the scoring guide at the end once you've finished to answer the above question: 1. Your age is: a) below 16 (included for lil dan's purposes) b) 16-19 c) 20-something d) 30+ e) 160 in dog years Julian's answer is C. 2. Do you believe in fairies? a) Yes b) No c) It's "faeries" d) Only the tooth one e) I *am* one! Julian's answer is B, but he wants you to know that 'faerie' is the correct spelling of the realm, not its denizens. One would therefore meet a fairy from Faerie ;-) 3. Your sexuality is best described as: a) Heterosexual b) Homosexual c) Bisexual d) Transsexual e) Dysfunctional Julian's answer is most *definitely* E. 4. Are you a rape victim? a) Yes b) No c) Yes, I said d) 'Emotionally', yes e) I'm a SURVIVOR, I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gonna stop. etc. Julian's answer is B, but he feels guilty for finding C funny. 5. Do you listen to mostly female singers? a) Yes b) No c) It's about even d) Yes, well I presume they're female e) There are male singers?! Julian's answer is B. He also wants to point and laugh at your split infinitive. Julian can be an anal retentive fucker. 6. The no. of hours you spend online each day on average is: a) Zero b) Less than one c) 1-2 d) 2-5 e) Who's counting?! The answer to this question would likely scare Julian, so he will lie and tell you D. [End Act I.] - --------------------------------- SOLD.com.au- Find yourself a bargain! ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 17:41:39 +1000 (EST) From: =?iso-8859-1?q?Julian=20P?= Subject: [oztori] I can so see that 'digest' was a bad idea ... (Part 2) [Act II - in which the plot thickens, Malvolio appears cross-garter'd for some reason, and there is much baudiness.] 7. Your hair is: a) Red b) Dyed red c) Something other than red but I'm considering dying it soon d) Grey and the fires are burning e) Got a kitten tangled up in it f) None of the above Julian's answer is E. He is not saying this to make a cute Tori reference. His cat is actually wedged between himself and his keyboard right now. His cat's name is Oscar. Oscar is giving you all a dirty look. 8. Amongst your list of 'academic accomplishments' is/are: a) Drop out from one tertiary course b) Drop out from more than one tertiary course c) Drop out from honours but completion of pass degree d) Drop out from high school e) Drop out from prestigious musical conservatorium at age 11 f) Completion of one or more effectively useless qualifications g) None of the above h) I don't have any academic accomplishments Julian's answer is an F soon to be a C. 9. You visit a shrink: a) Once a week or more b) "Regularly", but less than once a week on average c) I don't really need to, but I still go anyway d) I do really need to, but I haven't been yet e) I don't need to see a shrink at all f) I don't need to see a shrink at all (except for this pathological denial I'm in) g) Tori's music is my 'shrink' Julian doesn't want to sound cheesy and answer G. He'll happily answer D though. 10. If you were at a Tori concert, you would be the audience member most likely to: a) Yell out "GO MYRA-ELLEN!" b) Lip-synch badly to her songs and end up on the video of the concert released c) Go through 16 boxes of Kleenex for crying d) Cough at the wrong time e) Not do anything noteworthy and be "good little roses" f) Be the lady in the white shirt Julian will answer E. 11. Amongst your psychiatric diagnoses is/are: a) Depression b) Anxiety disorder c) Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder d) Conversion Disorder e) Post-traumatic Stress Disorder f) Pre-traumatic Stress Disorder g) Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (ie, I've got the shrinks baffled!) h) More than one of the above i) Nothing Julian might be heard to remark "I'll have A thru C, and a double order of G, thanks. Oh, and can I upsize that? What, you've only got H left?". 12. Have you suffered a miscarriage? a) Yes b) Yes, more than one c) No d) I'm a guy, duh e) I don't think I'm pregnant Julian will ask the audience, the go fifty-fifty between A and D. 13. In your CD collection, you have albums by: a) PJ Harvey b) Bjork c) Kate Bush d) More than one of the above e) All of the above f) None of the above A quick check of Julian's CD collection revealed one A and one B making for a total of D. 14. Your ultimate goal in life is to: a) Construct a post-post-modern feminist theory b) Seek revenge on the male species c) Pay off my HECS debt of $234234324980 (although I still don't have a piece of paper to show for any of it!) d) Get married, have kids, live a normal life, etc. e) Reduce my reliance on anti-depressants f) Become Tori's slave g) Die and then bribe the undertaker h) Not make any goals Julian demands to know why there is no "all of the above" option (well, maybe not D ... ), and is a little disconcerted that you know so much about his life. He wants to know how you apply for F. 15. Your personality is best described as (please choose ONE only.. yes, I know it must be hard for you kids!) a) Quirky b) Normal c) Boring d) Borderline e) Obsessive f) MPD g) Since when have I had a personality? People euphamistically refer to Julian as A. It's just a polite way of saying he's a total fucking nutter. THE END. Julian's tally was 63 per cent. He will stop with the 3rd person now. * Thanks for the welcome, Nathan. [End Act II. There will now be a brief intermission during which time coffee, tea and poor quality champage will be offered.] - --------------------------------- SOLD.com.au- Find yourself a bargain! ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 17:44:41 +1000 (EST) From: =?iso-8859-1?q?Julian=20P?= Subject: [oztori] I can so see that 'digest' was a bad idea ... (Part 3) [Act III - in which all fates are decided, and Prospero breaks his staff, burns his books, makes certain self-reflexive entreaties to the audience, oh, and insults Caliban one last time. The imperialist bastard!!] To Lavenda: * I hope you didn't get the wrong idea about my post. I know how futile it is to get hopes up about Tori visiting down here. I only wrote what I did by way of explanation as to why I finally joined up here (ie, being excited by the possbility from a source I happen to trust). * Didn't want to trawl through the archives without introducing myself first. I know this is something of a public forum, but it just felt ... rude. I'll trawl now though ... ;-) * thanks for saying hi! To Jas: * Promised I'd keep my source confidential. I happen to believe this person. She heard it from a person who would *definitely* know Tori's tour itinerary. Still, even trustworthy people can get it wrong. So, until it's offical, all I'm going to do is hope and plan for the best (my Tori tour slush fund is already in place!) and expect the worst. * tee hee, I *do* prattle on sometimes (like now!), and I don't expect anyone to read it. However, I'm usually the quiet, non-responsive type, but I usually *am* reading. Occasionally prod me though, just to make sure I'm not dead. * hmn? is there a guarantee of being stalked if I 'bare all' about myself?? I'm *so* sick of always being the stalker, never the stalkee. ;-) * Don't bash lurkers -- we have feelings too y'know. (Julian wants to point out he will soon revert to lurker status here, and posts as lurker.au at the @forumz board.) To Nathan again: * I didn't know that dropping all but the first initial of your family name was popular. I though about just going as 'Julian', like 'Madonna' or 'Cher', but I'm not nearly enough in touch with my 'inner diva'. * If you really want my last name, there seems to be someone just dying to tell you ... ... which brings us to Roozi: * Will you stop with that quote already? You used it the first time we ever 'met' online, and I'm fairly sure again the first time we spoke on the phone (which, come to think of it, was actually the only time we spoke on the phone, right?). It wasn't even funny then. Oh, alright, maybe a little. ;-) To ennui: * hi (trying to speed this up for the one person actually reading this ... ). To Bindy: * again, wsn't trying to get the whole rumour mill started. Just explaining what brought me here (hint: it wasn't Daisy Dead Petals). * ah the good ol' ASL. A: 23 soon to be 24. S: male. L: Sydney. To Bevan: * hi. My typing hads are cramping up, and the cat on my keyboard has to go. To Andrew: * Other artists I like: Elvis Costello, Nick Cave (*don't* give me that look!), Radiohead, Tom Waits (he's like Cookie Monster on e's) and more I don't feel like typing now. * I live in Sydney. * I don't watch Angel. I *do* watch Buffy. I used to hate it, when I was seeing my ex-g/f (it was her favourite show), and now that we're broken up, I love it. Some sicko subconscious revenge thing? I think so. I *did* have the wedding on tape ... but I think I taped over it with Six Feet Under (*such* a good show). Sowwy. Okay, I'm tired. and this digest thing is giving me a conniption. I think I've said enough about me to last a lifetime. Can I be excused from the table now without dessert? :-) Jules - --------------------------------- SOLD.com.au- Find yourself a bargain! ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 01:39:59 -0700 (PDT) From: "Too Much" <2much@elvis.com> Subject: Re: [oztori] straightacting quizzie! on the off topic On Thu, 18 July 2002, "lb" wrote > > Bevan: > > > I got 40% - "You might act straight mate, but I bet your mother always > knew > > you would grow up to be a gay guy" > > > > http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/G/gayometer/gayometer.html TOOMUCH IS 60% GAY! "You're very open-minded between the sheets and just as balanced when out in the streets!" Dammit... almost 7 years of sleeping exclusively (minus one night) with men are beginning to show.. ;) Henry. too much of a diary: http://2much.livejournal.com/ "Man, I was tame compared to what they do now. Are you kidding? I didn't do anything but just jiggle." - --E.A. Presley - ------------------------------------------------- Get your free @Elvis e-mail account at Elvis.com! http://www.elvis.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 20:39:58 +1000 From: AndrewR Subject: [oztori] Stargate - yes again... and music. *sigh* I know nearly all of you don't even know about this show but - I missed the first half of tonight's Brisbane/Sydney episode. Can anyone lend me a copy!?! PUH LEESSSSEEEEE!?! Oh and remember to watch "The Book Club" on ABC at 9:30pm (It's the second episode tonight) Last week was fucking bizzare and bloody hilarious at the same time.) Did anyone else watch last week's episode? Andrew Who needs to by more music - but still has to get through at least 5 CDs from that HMV sale from a few weeks ago. I've moved on to Beth Orton's "Central Reservation" from "Trailer Park" OMG I love the last two tracks on Trailer Park. Then I see that she has a new album coming out soon!?! I see there is a new Morcheeba album out I need to get the Vanessa Carlton album I'm *STILL* yet to buy Tanya Donnelly's or Heather Nova's new albums I want more Jane Siberry and Lisa Germano and a girl at the music shop down the road tonight, introduced me to another artist with a new album out Gemma ?Stlyes? sounded really good Oh, then there is Avril Lavigne that Jas? introduced me to. PLUS I think of 'single song's that I would download as mp3's... i.e. they are things I wouldn't BUY or I would only buy on single - but the single would be long deleted. ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 04:03:36 -0700 (PDT) From: Nathan "®" Subject: Re: [oztori] straightacting quizzie! on the off topic Bevan Burkin wrote: > There is one for boys and one for girls > > I got 40% - "You might act straight mate, but I bet > your mother always knew > you would grow up to be a gay guy" > > http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/G/gayometer/gayometer.html That link doesn't work for me. I guess nothing does.. *wrist-slash* Nathan. _______________________________________________________ Yahoo! Autos - Get free new car price quotes http://autos.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 22:18:00 +1000 From: "cåth ." Subject: [oztori] re: straightacting quizzie! on the off topic cath is 36% gay you're a straight laced girlie-girl with just a hint of your butch side coming out. :D <3 cath _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 22:43:39 GMT From: Rebecca Appleton Subject: Re: [oztori] straightacting quizzie! on the off topic On Thu, 18 Jul 2002 11:46:25 +1000, Bindy . wrote: >>Li is 43% gay: >> >>Congratulations! You've scored right in the middle and are a happy >>and >>>well adjusted hetero babe! > >So is Bindy. So is Becc. Didn't get the accompanying comment, though, as I sat there forever waiting for it to download and it wouldn't come. So I'm just going to assume it was telling me that I'm a happy and well adjusted homo babe. :) ~Becc :) - -- www.crappism.org ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 23:00:04 +1000 From: AndrewR Subject: Re: [oztori] Women.com test, gaydar yadda yadda yadda At 09:27 18/07/2002 +1000, Dylan Plant wrote: >re the barebacking thing, its in "vogue" because ppl r >becoming complacent about HIV/AIDS and apparently it >feels better. I just had a scare with the whole thing, >so I'm a bit sensitive about it atm! >===== >Cheers >dylan Sensible to be sensible about it. Speaking of 'bearbacking' after this "thread" I was doing shopping at coles today and walked past the 'condom section' (next to the panadol) ((heh, i'ts either condoms or 'no I've got a headache')) anyway there was a type there called "bearbacking" condoms... extra thin or something. So there you go. :) It's not exactly a TORI spotting! ;) Andrew ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 23:04:56 +1000 From: AndrewR Subject: [oztori] TV again OK, for those who like Elijah Wood (and who wouldn't - for various reasons) I *think* he's on the up-coming episode of 'The Osbournes' on Monday night. ??He's a friend of Jacks?? Jack is PSYCHO! :) BTW, sorry about "The Book Group" time - it was on tonight at 9:00pm not 9:30 which is Backb(e/u)rner. This week's episode was even better than last week's and I can't wait for NEXT week's episode. It's funny/bizzare/crazy/nice/wierd all rolled into one. I can't work out Claire - is she just a 'typical American' (sorry Nadyne but you don't seem to be a typical American) :) Is it that she is lonely? Is it just her!?! OK, and here I am prattling on about this show, and I'm sure none of you have been watching it. Andrew "Kimmi, Kimmi... Look at moy, look at moy Kimmi, look at moy... I've got one word to say to you..." ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 23:00:05 +1000 From: "Lavenda" Subject: Re: [oztori] I can so see that 'digest' was a bad idea ... (Part 3) > * I hope you didn't get the wrong idea about my post. I know how futile it is to get hopes up about Tori visiting down here. I only wrote what I did by way of explanation as to why I finally joined up here (ie, being excited by the possbility from a source I happen to trust). it's ok, I understand that. It's not just all the times we've heard there will be a tour, there's all the times it's come from sources (even those in Tori's entourage) and not turned out. I can hear Mental as Anything in the background "Too many times, too many times" > * Don't bash lurkers -- we have feelings too y'know. (Julian wants to point out he will soon revert to lurker status here, and posts as lurker.au at the @forumz board.) Ha! I've seen you around there (last year, haven't been on much this year)! X Lavs (Lavenda 1, primary adjunct of dominatrix Glenn) ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ Who could ever say you're not simply wonderful - 'Merman', Tori Amos ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ http://www.freewebs.com/tiarna/start.html - Tiarna's Homepage http://www.freewebs.com/drifts/start.html - Drifts Get Deeper ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 22:36:47 +0800 From: "Bevan Burkin" Subject: [oztori] kardonnay kardonnay you pack of shunts! AndrewR, of television fame, recently wrote: > Oh and remember to watch "The Book Club" on ABC at 9:30pm (It's the second > episode tonight) Last week was fucking bizzare and bloody hilarious at the > same time.) Did anyone else watch last week's episode? Yep I caught it. I missed the first half because I was stunned to discover I had missed the finale of Kath and Kim the week before! *howls of murderous dogs* That reminds me that I made what has to be the most delicious marinated chicken on smegs green earth that night! If anybody is camp enough to want the recipe please e-mail privately (it is more glamorous that way). > I want more Jane Siberry Somebody from Oztori once posted me a tape they had put together of Jane Siberry songs .. Jason? I can't for the life of me remember because it was over two years ago. Really liked this tape and if you're out there mysterious sender much prosperity to you. Nayth sadly expelled: > I guess nothing does.. *wrist-slash* At last. Follow the vein, neat and deep. Don't fuck it up twice, it's embarassing. And last but not least I have had OFFICIAL WORD from Tori's very own LABIA that she will tour Australia, namely Bev's House, sometime early in January 2003!! Hooray, hooray, its a holi holi day! a srota fryaier ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 19 Jul 2002 01:24:43 +1000 From: AndrewR Subject: Re: [oztori] kardonnay kardonnay you pack of shunts! At 22:36 18/07/2002 +0800, Bevan Burkin wrote: >AndrewR, of television fame, recently wrote: > >> Oh and remember to watch "The Book Club" on ABC at 9:30pm (It's the second >> episode tonight) Last week was fucking bizzare and bloody hilarious at the >> same time.) Did anyone else watch last week's episode? > >Yep I caught it. I missed the first half because I was stunned to discover I >had missed the finale of Kath and Kim the week before! ?? You sat in stunned silence for 15 minutes!?! ;o) > *howls of murderous >dogs* Well, what was the other thing you missed the otherday, that you were going to send or something!?! I've got it on tape and I could probably copy it and send it or something - if I can remember how to hook up the two videos (and when I can be arsed to do it... I'll get on it if you URGENTLY need it). If you can wait, the second 4 episodes and the DVD of the series are coming out in September. The first four are out on tape now. I reccommend EVERYONE who hasn't been hooked by Kath and Kim, Kel, Sharon, Brett and Cujo, Kath's red snap-underwear, Sharon's pash rash or the sleezy Pumpking-style coach dealer to GO OUT AND BY/HIRE (steal) the first 4 episodes. "Gay" was the second episode - the first I caught and OMG was I hooked. >a srota fryaier That looked like a scrotum frier or fryer take your pick ;o) ------------------------------ End of oztori-digest V2 #210 ****************************