From: owner-oztori-digest@smoe.org (oztori-digest) To: oztori-digest@smoe.org Subject: oztori-digest V2 #35 Reply-To: oztori@smoe.org Sender: owner-oztori-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-oztori-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk oztori-digest Saturday, February 2 2002 Volume 02 : Number 035 Today's Subjects: ----------------- [oztori] Ben Folds Five DVD is out! [Daniel Hirning ] [oztori] Re: Re[2]: [ozpolitics] OT obviously ["Li" ] [oztori] [ozliterature] A recommendation ["Li" ] Re: [oztori] OT testicle tubes ["Li" ] Re: [oztori] Re: Re[2]: [ozpolitics] OT obviously [Nathan R ] Re: [oztori] Re: Re[2]: [ozpolitics] OT obviously [Nathan R ] Re: [oztori] Re: Re[2]: [ozpolitics] OT obviously ["Li" ] Re: [oztori] Destiny's Child and Sing 88 [Nathan R ] Re: [oztori] Foodgasm ("ROTFLMFAO"!!!) ["Li" ] Re: [oztori] Foodgasm ("ROTFLMFAO"!!!) ["Jasmina J" ] Re: [oztori] Foodgasm ("ROTFLMFAO"!!!) [Nathan R Subject: [oztori] Ben Folds Five DVD is out! oztori, Just to let everyone know... - the ben folds five dvd - sessions at west 54th is out ! - a few days early, but its at mid city hmv... it includes spare reels... - which if you watch real careful in 2 of the vids you can see ME out in the crowd :) (up the front of course :) (they didn't include my bit talking to ben and darren though - which *was* recorded :( i must be too ugly for mass consumer dvd consumption... dan. dan@danhirning.com www.danhirning.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 19:23:59 +1030 From: "Li" Subject: [oztori] Re: Re[2]: [ozpolitics] OT obviously > NR> Here's my $0.05 (excluding GST and postage & handling > NR> costs). I rarely pay much attention to what is going > NR> on in the "news" (sic)/in the world, so I would hardly > NR> claim to be an 'authority' on the "issue"... but I > NR> think a lot of the recent 'backlash' has stemmed from > NR> the US terrorist (got that word is such a cliche) > NR> attacks, and "us" not wanting "them" "in our > NR> backyard". I agree with Bec here. That whole "us" vs. "them" thing is such crap. People are just ignorant. And often selfish. In so far as sept 11 exacerbating it, I agree. Every person of middle-eastern descent has since become a terrorist. >We seem to like to pride > ourselves on how multicultural and "tolerant" (hate what that word > implies, but anyway) we are, so long as our multiculturalism and > tolerance stays between the four walls of the local Chinese takeaway > shop. I think this is very true also. > NR> Whenever I read a letter to the editor in my local > NR> quality newspaper [which I seem to be doing an awful > NR> lot of lately], everyone who is against the asylum > NR> seekers ALWAYS stresses that they are "illegal" as > NR> their main argument. I think that argument is often used as a nicer, eupehmistic, more multicultural, more "tolerant" way of saying "You're not like us. You're going to make our country go all bad and get all over-populated and we'll be inundated with murderers and and annnnnd!" etc. > NR> Plus I think the "vast majority" are tired of > NR> "minorities" getting "special" rights. > > Yes, this seems to be true. It's pretty sad, though, when ordinary ol' > rights - that we've (theoretically) decided all humans deserve - are deemed "special" > rights when the human in question doesn't happen to be one of what > people perceive to be the "vast majority". Agreed. I'm just getting so frustrated at seeing so many people writing in to shows like A Current Affair (which, if they're watching in the first place, is a pretty clear indication of where they would stand on the issue and furthermore their education on the matter which is inevitably minimal to none at all) complaining about 'all the illegal immigrants' and how ungrateful they are, like they should just 'bear their cross' or something. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 19:25:52 +1030 From: "Li" Subject: [oztori] [ozliterature] A recommendation I would also just like to say that you should all read "North and South" by Elizabeth Gaskell because it rules! Or should that be "rulz"? ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 19:38:25 +1030 From: "Li" Subject: Re: [oztori] OT testicle tubes Which makes it even funnier because I was under the impression that your "Eustachian tube" was some testicle device thingy! Well, I don't do biology. But in any case, can someone tell me which crude tube (almost like a boob tube, or whatever they're called.... can you tell I'm in the habit of wearing them?) I'm thinking of? vas deferens epididymus (sp?) and I'm sure some Eustachian tube comes (excuse the pun) into it. - ----- Original Message ----- From: "Nathan R" To: Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2002 7:15 PM Subject: [oztori] Yes, Aneustachia > Li wrote: > > > > My left Eustachian tube is really itchy. > > > > that's disgusting! > > Why is it 'disgusting'? The Eustachian tube (tube > that runs from middle ear to back of throat) is > 'natural' and 'God-given'. > > In other news.. TORI MUST DIE. > > >From the Dent: > > "Thanks to Toriphile Steve K for being the first to > email me about this. The March 2002 issue of Spin > Magazine includes a section called "What got the > artists hot" where artists put their top five albums > or singles. Tori is one of the artists and she lists > the following in her top 5: > > 1.Manu Chao, Proxima Estacion: Esperanza > 2.Basement Jaxx, Rooty > 3.Daft Punk, Discovery > 4.Placebo, Black Market Music > 5.Groove Armada, Goodbye Country (Hello Nightclub)" > > > Daft Punk's "Discovery" is the one that contains that > god-awful "One More Time"!! Aaaaaaaaaagh! > > > Nathan. > > . > Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! > http://auctions.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 01:00:54 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan R Subject: Re: [oztori] Re: Re[2]: [ozpolitics] OT obviously Li wrote: > I'm just getting so frustrated at seeing so many > people writing in to shows > like A Current Affair (which, if they're watching in > the first place, is a > pretty clear indication of where they would stand on > the issue and > furthermore their education on the matter which is > inevitably minimal to > none at all) complaining about 'all the illegal > immigrants' and how > ungrateful they are, like they should just 'bear > their cross' or something. Yes. And to go a futher step in converting this list to [oz'highlights'fromnayth'scrappylocalpaper], which is surely the print equivalent to A Current Affair [minus the oblitatory crying scenes], I thought I'd quote some highlights from the last week: from "Joe, 1958 migrant": '50s MIGRANTS DID IT TOUGH - ----------------------------- "It's about time that people get to know what it was like for the old migrants that came to this country in the '50's. We in a way were boat people, but there were a few differences. We were invited to come here. We also had to go through some medical tests to make sure that we were not bringing any diseases into the country and our ancestors did not have any mental disorders or bodily dysfunctions or disabilities. Today's boat people arrive on our shores with maybe all sorts of diseases, uninvited and illegal! When we arrived in Australian soil we were put on a train to Bonnegilla, (not unlike Auschwitz to look at, but conditions were obviously not the same) if you watch the war documentaries. After that we came to Norlane hostel which was not exactly like Club Med. In the meantime we got fed, we got unemployment money paid and had a roof over our heads. We appreciated it, because we came to the promised land. Those illegals get the same as we did - even better they get to go to CLUB MED. They have swimming pools, pool halls and proper housing (not in the sheds). The only difference is they have a fence and guards, but they are still illegals. Now they are being processed [Nathan adds: like a sausage? ;)] exactly the same as we were. It took us months to get our papers to come. So it takes a little longer for them, in the meantime they are in the promised land. [sounds like a ripped off lyric from "Go West" to me] I can understand why they wanted to leave their old country, it's probably a lot worse than Europe was just after the war. That is not reason to go and sew your mouth shut. Be patient. There are hundreds of Australians who would love to live in such conditions, get fed, get paid and have free medical treatment, a swimming pool and no work, just pure vacation. P.S. Natasha Stott Despoja, compare their hell hole with ours, we didn't complain." then from letter to the editor from Rev John M. Cromarty, Presbyterian Church of Eastern Australia re: Police Chief Commissioner Christine Nixon allowing uniformed police to participate in gay march: "On the day of the 'march' my text was taken from 1 Corinthians chapter 6, verses 9, 10 and 11... 'Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators [lmao], nor idolators, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor theives, nor covetous nor revellers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such are some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.' God's word is very clear. To engage in or condone such sins is to go against what is right. You cannot 'uphold the right', whilst giving approval to what is wrong. If the thieves and extortioners were to hold a 'march' surely Ms Nixon would not join in...or would she?" Nice. Nathan. . Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 01:08:48 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan R Subject: Re: [oztori] Ben Folds Five DVD is out! Daniel Hirning wrote: > it includes spare reels... - which if you watch > real careful in 2 of > the vids you can see ME out in the crowd :) (up the > front of course :) What, in front of all other 3 people in attendance there? ;) > (they didn't include my bit talking to ben and > darren though - which > *was* recorded :( Oh I'm sure they're flogging this 'bootleg' for big money on e-bay as we speak... > i must be too ugly for mass consumer dvd > consumption... Perhaps. But not too ugly for mazz oztori consumption judging by the number of closet admirers you have here.. *rolls bloodshot eyes* Nathan. . Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 20:53:42 +1100 From: "Lavenda" Subject: [oztori] [filk] Happy condom (not my own work) Oh my. I was doing a search for 'universal opera' and this turned up... http://www.lionking.org/~neema/insanity/happycondom.txt oh my, and there's more: http://www.lionking.org/~neema/insanity/cheesify.txt http://www.lionking.org/~neema/insanity/syndicategirl.txt And a Sez Mac one: http://www.lionking.org/~neema/insanity/fruitcake.txt ~singing~ "and the man with the prosthetic arm, thinks he knows so much..." X Lavs (Lavenda 1, primary adjunct of dominatrix Glenn) ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ Who could ever say you're not simply wonderful - 'Merman', Tori Amos ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ ~^^~ http://www.envy.nu/tiarna/start.html - Tiarna's Homepage http://www.envy.nu/drifts/start.html - Drifts Get Deeper ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 2 Feb 2002 08:16:24 +1030 From: "Li" Subject: Re: [oztori] Re: Re[2]: [ozpolitics] OT obviously > from "Joe, 1958 migrant": > > '50s MIGRANTS DID IT TOUGH > ----------------------------- > We were invited to come here. We also had to go > through some medical tests to make sure that we were > not bringing any diseases into the country and our > ancestors did not have any mental disorders or bodily > dysfunctions or disabilities. I take offence to that 'mental disorders' claim. That's just rude! "Bodily dysfunctions" - what? so now you can't get a visa if you have - I don't know - penile difficulties? one leg instead of two? I wonder why, if they were rigorous enough to carry out these tests on new entrants into the country, they didn't create a minimum IQ level while they were at it. > When we arrived in Australian soil we were put on a > train to Bonnegilla, (not unlike Auschwitz to look at, > but conditions were obviously not the same) if you > watch the war documentaries. That's pretty sick to compare it to Auschwitz, even with the disclaimer. > Those illegals get the same as we did - even better > they get to go to CLUB MED. They have swimming pools, > pool halls and proper housing (not in the sheds). The > only difference is they have a fence and guards, but > they are still illegals. This makes me want to be sick. > Be patient. There are hundreds of Australians who > would love to live in such conditions, get fed, get > paid and have free medical treatment, a swimming pool > and no work, just pure vacation. haha. This is so absurdly ignorant its amusing. > P.S. Natasha Stott Despoja, compare their hell hole > with ours, we didn't complain." Well good on you! > then from letter to the editor from Rev John M. > Cromarty, Presbyterian Church of Eastern Australia re: > Police Chief Commissioner Christine Nixon allowing > uniformed police to participate in gay march: > > But you were > washed, but you were sanctified, but you were > justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the > Spirit of our God.' Poor Jesus. > If the thieves and extortioners were to hold a 'march' > surely Ms Nixon would not join in...or would she?" Reminds me of a poem from the young ones about pollution. Its a poem from Rick of course. It goes something like: "Pollution, pollution All around Sometimes up And sometimes down But always around. Pollution - are you coming to my town? We're on different buses pollution, but we're both using petrol." ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 22:44:03 -0000 From: "Rachael Chrisp" Subject: [oztori] Something to ponder... http://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/2002/02/02/FFX6WKXU4XC.html love rachael ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 23:43:39 -0000 From: "Rachael Chrisp" Subject: [oztori] Re: JJJ >> it after the first year. Angela Catterns > Ah she she was groovy in a 'I sound like I'm > pushing 40' kinda way (was she? I have no idea > what age bracket she fell into). youre right, she was pushing 40 when she left jjj. She was a huuggge Jeff Buckley fan, i remember listening to her final show, and they played "highlights" over "Last Goodbye". > Ick I never liked Tunny. He always seemed to be > an "Afternoon Show" pretty-boy to me.. ugh, me either. i think what put me off him was when he used to host the Afternoon Show, and before a Degrassi High episode he said "this episode comes with a warning that its not suitable for younger viewers", and my mum was in the room at the time and subsequently banned me from watching Degrassi . The only good thing about him was he presented Tintin every afternoon. :) he was a crappy "announcer" though, so *happy*. ugh. rachael ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 15:45:57 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan R Subject: Re: [oztori] Re: Re[2]: [ozpolitics] OT obviously Li wrote: > I take offence to that 'mental disorders' claim. > That's just rude! "Bodily > dysfunctions" - what? so now you can't get a visa if > you have - I don't > know - penile difficulties? Yup. Hence why I haven't left the country for 8 years ;) > > Be patient. There are hundreds of Australians who > > would love to live in such conditions, get fed, > get > > paid and have free medical treatment, a swimming > pool > > and no work, just pure vacation. > > haha. This is so absurdly ignorant its amusing. Yes, even I had a snide little snicker under my breath reading that. Don't you know people are sewing their lips up to get IN to one of those luxury detention centers!!! > > But you were > > washed, but you were sanctified, but you were > > justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the > > Spirit of our God.' > > Poor Jesus. I don't know about you, but being "washed by Jesus" sounds awfully kinky to me. Nathan. . Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 15:53:37 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan R Subject: Re: [oztori] Something to ponder... Rachael Chrisp wrote: > http://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/2002/02/02/FFX6WKXU4XC.html > > love rachael From that article: "Robert Kubey, director of the Centre for Media Studies at Rutgers University, and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a professor of psychology at Claremont Graduate University," You would *need* to be a professor to be able to spell that surname correctly! Nathan. . Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 2 Feb 2002 10:59:26 +1030 From: "Li" Subject: Re: [oztori] Re: Re[2]: [ozpolitics] OT obviously > Li wrote: > > > I take offence to that 'mental disorders' claim. > > That's just rude! "Bodily > > dysfunctions" - what? so now you can't get a visa if > > you have - I don't > > know - penile difficulties? > > Yup. Hence why I haven't left the country for 8 years > ;) I thought that was the case. > > haha. This is so absurdly ignorant its amusing. > > Yes, even I had a snide little snicker under my breath > reading that. > > Don't you know people are sewing their lips up to get > IN to one of those luxury detention centers!!! "Luxury detention centre" - its just sounds so...... redundant? Tautological? Ludicrous? > > > But you were > > > washed, but you were sanctified, but you were > > > justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the > > > Spirit of our God.' > > > > Poor Jesus. > > I don't know about you, but being "washed by Jesus" > sounds awfully kinky to me. Indeed. I think the Church are the most blasphemous group of people I am acquainted with. I always think about how Jesus would react to religious institutions today. A big "WTF? Do not put my name to that, PLEASE! That is not what I was saying at ALL! No that is not it at all!" I think (to half-heartedly paraphrase t.s. eliot.) ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 2 Feb 2002 00:02:29 -0000 From: "Rachael Chrisp" Subject: [oztori] Destiny's Child and Sing 88 > "LOL" I would consider buying their Greatest Hits > if/when it comes out ;) I love the way they say > "cause my mamma taught me better dan dat!" in > Survivor. hehe... ohhhhhhhhh there are so many *great* lyrics on that album... i was listening to it on the bus on the way to work yesterday, and oh my god.... "Im not gonna compromise my Christianity/Im not gonna diss you on the internet.. cos my momma taught me better than dat" (Survivor) "Nasty put some clothes on/I told you/don't go out your house without your clothes on" (Nasty) and one ive never heard, but my friend used to say to me all the time: "you gonna pay my bills? you gonna pay my telephone bills?!" or something (Bills, Bills, Bills) ah... Destiny's Child. Bless. > OMG I remember those things! When I was in > Grade 4, we had to sing 2 songs from the "Sing > '88" book - "Thongs" (no, not the item of > underwear) and "Reach Out For Peace" to a > buncha oldies in a nursing home! oh my god. they still make them?! one year we did Madonna's "La Island Bonita" - i couldnt believe when i heard that song again on that Madonna special that i knew every lyric.... other "classics" were.. oh god, my mind has gone blank... i find myself singing some of those songs at bizarre times though... oh yah, "Eerie Canal" or something was one.... ive still got some of the books at home... rachael xxxx ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 2 Feb 2002 00:29:04 -0000 From: "Rachael Chrisp" Subject: [oztori] Bootylicious > Hon, do u blame him? I mean come on!!! > Destiny's &*^*^^%^%(^%&* Child? What drugs > are you ON?????????? hehe... it was *you* who "introduced" me to that song at my birthday/tori party.... it came on, and i remember (this was before i was really drunk) asking you what the song was, and you go "bootylicious, that song everyones talking about on oztori!" :) speaking of that *wild* night, if you still have the photos i sent you of it Zac, can you send them to Dan Gee to put on the oztori site, please? i dont have access to them here. > LOL, in case u hadn't noticed, Destiny's Child and > Christina Aguilera have a special place in my > hatred...ie tied @ #1! heyyyyyyyy at least Beyonce writes their songs!! (unlike miss aguilera...) rachael xxxx ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 18:12:33 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan R Subject: Re: [oztori] Destiny's Child and Sing 88 Rachael "crisp around the edges" [what the Bangles said about Prince according to the 'Smash Hits '87' cassette liner notes, who wrote 'Manic Monday' for them - meaning that they thought he was "mad"... and no not implying I think that you are mad, Rach dear.. just having fun with your surname again.. *grinz*] Chrisp wrote: > > "LOL" I would consider buying their Greatest Hits > > if/when it comes out ;) I love the way they say > > "cause my mamma taught me better dan dat!" in > > Survivor. > > hehe... ohhhhhhhhh there are so many *great* lyrics > on that album... i was > listening to it on the bus on the way to work > yesterday, and oh my god.... > > "Im not gonna compromise my Christianity/Im not > gonna diss you on the > internet.. cos my momma taught me better than dat" > (Survivor) LOL! I did not know that they mentioned Christianity! (I knew the corny internet bit though). I'm converting now! > "Nasty put some clothes on/I told you/don't go out > your house without your > clothes on" (Nasty) Hahaha.. that song's about Christina Aguilera apparently. > other "classics" were.. oh god, my mind has gone > blank... i find myself > singing some of those songs at bizarre times > though... oh yah, "Eerie Canal" > or something was one.... Yeah I've got the lyrics/recorder sheet muzak to "Eerie Canal" from Grade 6 music. God. In other news... I just had a thought: you could interpret YKTR's Fayth lyrics for "how do you keep the romance there when a little french maid lives downsairs" as: "How do you keep the romance there When a little French-made Liv's downstairs" as in a French-made Olivia or something.. lol Nathan - proving once more that he has "too much time" on his hands. . Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 18:29:26 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan R Subject: [oztori] Foodgasm ("ROTFLMFAO"!!!) OMG you MUST go to http://www.hereinmyhead.com/sounds/dd.html and download the 55 second clip of Tori having a "foodgasm" on 2/11/96! It is possibly THE funniest Tori thing I have ever heard! Nathan. . Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 2 Feb 2002 14:52:58 +1030 From: "Li" Subject: Re: [oztori] Foodgasm ("ROTFLMFAO"!!!) Is this the one Jas posted a while back? - ----- Original Message ----- From: "Nathan R" To: Sent: Saturday, February 02, 2002 12:59 PM Subject: [oztori] Foodgasm ("ROTFLMFAO"!!!) > OMG you MUST go to > http://www.hereinmyhead.com/sounds/dd.html and > download the 55 second clip of Tori having a > "foodgasm" on 2/11/96! It is possibly THE funniest > Tori thing I have ever heard! > > Nathan. > > . > Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! > http://auctions.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 2 Feb 2002 16:01:01 +1100 From: "Jasmina J" Subject: Re: [oztori] Foodgasm ("ROTFLMFAO"!!!) >Is this the one Jas posted a while back? yes it is. Thankyou Li for reasuring me that somebody pays attention on this list. ;) Shows how much attention the rest of you pay to my posts. I guess I'll go sulk in the corner now *sob* :P Jas ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 21:44:10 -0800 (PST) From: Nathan R Subject: Re: [oztori] Foodgasm ("ROTFLMFAO"!!!) Oh well.. I didn't notice from my Ivory tower. Nathan - who noticed that this list has suddenly become the Nathan/Jas/Li/Rach list! (and I think it's much better that way! ;) - --- Jasmina J wrote: > >Is this the one Jas posted a while back? > > yes it is. > > Thankyou Li for reasuring me that somebody pays > attention on this list. ;) > > Shows how much attention the rest of you pay to my > posts. I guess I'll go sulk > in the corner now *sob* > > :P > > Jas Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! http://auctions.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 2 Feb 2002 18:57:50 +1100 From: "Dylan Plant" Subject: RE: [oztori] Re: Re[2]: [ozpolitics] OT obviously I think the word u are looking for is oxymoron. "Luxury detention centre" - its just sounds so...... redundant? Tautological? Ludicrous? ------------------------------ End of oztori-digest V2 #35 ***************************