From: owner-mariposa-digest@smoe.org (mariposa-digest)
To: mariposa-digest@smoe.org
Subject: mariposa-digest V1 #37
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mariposa-digest         Sunday, July 15 2001         Volume 01 : Number 037



                               Today's Subjects:
                               -----------------
  [mariposa] Yeah right, Joe's back and all is well (NOT!)  [Followerofjoe@a]

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Date: Sat, 14 Jul 2001 14:16:59 EDT
From: Followerofjoe@aol.com
Subject: [mariposa] Yeah right, Joe's back and all is well (NOT!)

*** Rowdy seems to have fallen for Luna's latest ruse:
>  On a side note, our beloved Joe is back from Walkabout!  He got in 
>yesterday morning.  I believe he was a stowaway on the US Mail truck.  Joe 
>seemed to be in fine spirits, and even seems to have forgiven Luna for 
>dumping him in San Antonio a couple of months ago... 

Rowdy. Rowdy Rowdy Rowdy.

Look closer (much closer). That doppleganger you have been duped into 
thinking is Joe is not the loveable stuffed dog you think he is. Sure, 
the fur is natty and worn, the eyes have that glazed plastic button eye 
effect, and those indescribeable odors still permeate his limp body... 
but is it REALLY Joe?

Think about it: Luna tosses Joe aside in a frenzy of jealousy, then finds 
a public relations nightmare awaiting her as her friends and fans want to 
know:

WHERE IS JOE?!?

Her CD sales slide with each weak press release feebly attempt to explain 
how she and Joe departed "amiacably" simply due to "creative 
differences". But Luna's conscience eats away at her. She knows she did 
wrong, and regrets it. Then the irrational anger and ability to "justify" 
that "Joe had it coming to him" sets in. What to do?

STAGE HIS CONSPICUOUS RETURN.

First, find a similar stuffed dog. With eBay, a dauntingly difficult 
trask becomes much easier. Find another spiked dog collar (ditto for 
eBay). Now, "lend" the fake Joe to a three year old niece or nephew to 
abuse for a weekend. A little sandpile dirt, some strawberry jam, a 
nightly dose of drool down the side of the stuffed dog, and the "Joe 
look" starts to appear. Finally:

PLANT THE FAKE JOE AND LET SOMEONE WE ALL TRUST ANNOUNCE HIS TRIUMPHANT 
RETURN.

Face it, Rowdy. You WANT to believe this is Joe. Luna knows that, we know 
that -- hell, JOE KNOWS THAT (more on that revelation later). You're 
being played like a cheap kazoo, buddy (okay, I know, there is no other 
type of kazoo, but I think you get my meaning).

Now, Luna's career is back on track. The "new" Joe no longer provides 
competition, or criticizes her flawed decision to play the "biscuit song" 
instead of the mega-hit she has in her back pocket (a remix of Jewel's 
similarly repressed hit "carnivore", dedicated to Joe's best friend, 
Woody the Plywood Cow... dammit, "never trust hour pink fleshy heart to a 
ply-wooood cow" are lyrics that make or break a career, I say!).

I love Luna as much as the next 'net stalker, but she's wrong on this. 
And YOU have to see the light, Rowdy. Look for yourself. Does the "new" 
Joe argue with Luna about the biscuit song? Or does he simply sit there 
motionless with the same stupid expression? If you bounce him on your 
knee during a song, does he giggle or simply flop about like the stuffed, 
lifeless toy you now accept as Joe?

C'mon, be honest with yourself (and us).

And besides, if the REAL Joe is in Texas right now, who is this stuffed 
dog sitting on my couch, watching "Scooby Doo" reruns and eating all my 
biscuits?!?


Dennis (well, I think it's me, anyway. Luna
coulda switched me when I wasn't looking, too!)


"Luna's Pod Folk" -- that's what we should call people
(and stuffed dogs) on this mailing list! Not that
"posers" doesn't connotate the same thing... coincidence?
I THINK NOT.

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End of mariposa-digest V1 #37
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