From: owner-joni-digest@smoe.org (JMDL Digest) To: joni-digest@smoe.org Subject: JMDL Digest V2011 #598 Reply-To: joni@smoe.org Sender: owner-joni-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-joni-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk Unsubscribe: mailto:joni-digest-request@smoe.org?body=unsubscribe Website: http://jmdl.com JMDL Digest Wednesday, November 23 2011 Volume 2011 : Number 598 ========== TOPICS and authors in this Digest: -------- Re: Song for Sharon [Catherine McKay ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 23 Nov 2011 16:38:21 -0800 (PST) From: Catherine McKay Subject: Re: Song for Sharon I also kinda feel like I have to clarify something in that last statement because maybe it came off sounding as if I thought Chuck was a bad guy. I'm quite sure he's a decent guy and was then, but maybe he wasn't such a great choice for Joni. It doesn't seem to me that she was in love with him, and that them being together for long wasn't going to happen and that she married him to help herself out of a jam and maybe to save face in front of her parents (although I'm not sure they even knew she had had a baby until the rest of the world did), and that she maybe could have thought that through a bit better. But they were both young and people make mistakes. And the world keeps turning, and life is for learning. All water under the bridge by now. >________________________________ > From: Catherine McKay >To: Mags ; Betsy Blue ; Susan Tierney McNamara ; Bob Muller ; "joni@smoe.org" ; Mary Morris >Sent: Wednesday, November 23, 2011 7:07:22 PM >Subject: Re: Song for Sharon > > >One thing I remember hearing or reading (interviews or whatever) is that Joni kept telling herself, "I can get out of this." In other words, if I marry this guy (to give my child a father, or whatever other reasons) and it doesn't work out, then I can always divorce him. So, while I think there was some desperation going on, she was also thinking it through in various scenarios. I think a few of us have made the mistake of not paying attention to our gut instinct telling us to run for the hills and have talked ourselves into marriages or other similar relationships and regretted it later. > > > > >>________________________________ >> From: Mags >>To: Betsy Blue ; Susan Tierney McNamara ; Catherine McKay ; Bob Muller ; "joni@smoe.org" ; Mary Morris >>Sent: Wednesday, November 23, 2011 5:26:55 PM >>Subject: Re: Song for Sharon >> >> >>Betsy wrote: >> >>It has always struck me how traditional Joni's views are for a woman who was always more prominent than her partners. (I hear it in HOSL, Snakes&Ladders, etc.) She must have known this was the case even with Chuck, although that marriage was clearly a case of postpartum psychosis. And she probably could have settled down and had kids at any point in her late 20s/early 30s after achieving some financial security, but she chose not to. >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> and now me: >> >> >>First and foremost, Betsy, please don't take this as a personal attack when I say that I think the term "postpartum psychosis is a bit harsh. Granted, there's no doubt that Joni felt rivers of blue throughout her pregnancy and as she went through the motions signing all the papers in the family name. Feelings over such a loss tend to linger throughout an entire life time, like a whisper. As well, I'd argue against the notion of choice until the cows come home. Sometimes things just happen to us. >> >> >>And one last thing, many people have been blind sided consequently married the WRONG person. It happens and there are plenty of regrets coyote, and yet, no longer a need to explain. Freedom is a beautiful thing, with happiness as just desserts. >> >> >>Mags ------------------------------ End of JMDL Digest V2011 #598 ***************************** ------- To post messages to the list, send to joni@smoe.org. Unsubscribe by clicking here: mailto:joni-digest-request@smoe.org?body=unsubscribe -------