From: les@jmdl.com (JMDL Digest) To: joni-digest@smoe.org Subject: JMDL Digest V2002 #273 Reply-To: joni@smoe.org Sender: les@jmdl.com Errors-To: les@jmdl.com Precedence: bulk Unsubscribe: mailto:joni-digest-request@smoe.org?body=unsubscribe Archives: http://www.smoe.org/lists/joni Websites: http://www.jmdl.com http://www.jonimitchell.com JMDL Digest Tuesday, July 2 2002 Volume 2002 : Number 273 The Official Joni Mitchell Homepage, created by Wally Breese, can be found at http://www.jonimitchell.com. It contains the latest news, a detailed bio, Original Interviews, essays, lyrics and much much more. The JMDL website can be found at http://www.jmdl.com and contains interviews, articles, the member gallery, archives, and much more. ========== TOPICS and authors in this Digest: -------- Today's Library Links: July 1 [ljirvin@adelphia.net] Today in History: July 1 [ljirvin@adelphia.net] Re: under [blank] NJC [Mags N Brei ] What do River and The Hissing of Summer Lawns have in common? ["Brett Cod] RE: under [blank] NJC ["Heather" ] Re: What do River and The Hissing have in common? ["Suze Cameron" ] Re: birth parents NJC [TerryM2222@aol.com] Re: under [blank] NJC [SCJoniGuy@aol.com] Re: under [blank] NJC ["gene mock" ] Re: Barandgrill...I get it! JC [Engwall57@aol.com] Re: under [blank] NJC [anne@sandstrom.com] Re: under [blank] NJC [SCJoniGuy@aol.com] RE: under [blank] NJC ["Jim L'Hommedieu \(Lama\)" ] Re: under [Alison] NJC [Michael Paz ] Re: under [blank] NJC [SCJoniGuy@aol.com] Re: under [blank] NJC ["kakki" ] RE: under [blank] NJC ["Jim L'Hommedieu \(Lama\)" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 04:02:16 -0400 From: ljirvin@adelphia.net Subject: Today's Library Links: July 1 On July 1 the following items were published: 2000: "Canadian icon Joni Mitchell's first art show is a roaring success" - Ottawa Citizen (Review - Art Show) http://www.jmdl.com/articles/docs/000701oc.cfm 2000: "Joni exhibits art in Saskatoon" - Calgary Sun (Review - Art Show) http://www.jmdl.com/articles/docs/000701cs.cfm 2000: "Joni Mitchell's art big hit in Saskatoon" - CBC News (News Item) http://www.jmdl.com/articles/docs/000701cbc.cfm 2000: "Just a Hometown Girl" - Saskatoon StarPhoenix (News Item) http://www.jmdl.com/articles/docs/000701ssp.cfm 2000: "Mitchell Art has Prairie Roots" - Saskatoon StarPhoenix (News Item) http://www.jmdl.com/articles/docs/000701ss.cfm - -------- Can you type? http://www.jmdl.com/typing/ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 04:02:16 -0400 From: ljirvin@adelphia.net Subject: Today in History: July 1 On July 1 in history: 1997: Effective today, Sony/ATV Music Publishing enters into an agreement with Joni for worldwide administration of her entire catalogue and all songs written during the term of the agreement. More info: http://www.jmdl.com/articles/docs/970826bw.cfm ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 03:59:19 -0700 (PDT) From: Mags N Brei Subject: Re: under [blank] NJC I hear you Jim. There is something very unnerving (to the powers that be) when employees demonstrate the ability to think. Employees with a mind, a brain, independent thoughts are a big *no no* and just watch that corporate roof cave in if we demonstrate that we actually have feelings. And challenge policy *gasp*. And on it goes. They just might do things like install 'security' cameras for 'security' purposes. Cameras which just so happen to be aimed dead centre into your work area. As Margaret Atwood wrote in her most recent book about writing... "it's a cog eat cog world". You are a very intelligent, articulate person Jim and dont let anyone tell you different, or they will have magsie to deal with ;-) Mags, 12 days and counting - --- "Jim L'Hommedieu (Lama)" wrote: > My boss'es boss took me to lunch last week and advised me for 15 > minutes > that expressing myself is "unprofessional". Then he said that if > something's bothering me, I should know that I can always "talk it > over" > with him. I said, "Great. Should we do that in person or by email?" > > He more fully explained (over the following ADDITIONAL 20 minutes) > that he > meant when I feel anger about a policy I should let it "roll off" as > if it > was rainwater. > > I'm not a smart man but I finally realized that he was trying to say > "I have > an open-door policy as long as you promise to never, ever use it. > And keep > your mouth shut." > > Naturally, since one can not actually 'mouth' those words, it > actually takes > 35 minutes to convey what one doesn't DARE to speak out loud for fear > of > being unprofessional. > > Oh. Got it. > > So, I'll bring my sarcasm to THIS table instead: > > "One nation > under-achieving > with conformity > and mediocrity..... > for all." > > Lamadoo > > > Alison E wrote: > > > > LOL! that's what my friend and I came up with last > > night.... > > one nation, under [blank], with [blankety] and [blank] > > for all. ===== You open my heart, you do. Yes you do. - JM Yahoo! - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 06:55:47 -0600 From: "Brett Code" Subject: What do River and The Hissing of Summer Lawns have in common? Both were chosen by the Globe and Mail as 2 of the top 25 Canadian pop songs. They say that the list was compiled during a 2-hour argument in a Toronto bar among 6 writers and reviewers from the Arts Review section of the paper. River is #5 Hissing is #21 About River, they say: "A couple of decades before Tori Amos & Co. discovered the grand piano, Mitchell wheeled one out for this cool but plaintive song about the heart far from home. The tag line - 'I wish I had a river to skate away on' [sic] - was incomprehensible in her California milieu, but deeply resonant to Canadian ears. Throughout her career, Mitchell has stayed true to the pedal-note of her origins, while becoming one of the most cosmopolitan and adventurous musicians of her generation. Her influence is incalculable, above all on women songwriters, but also on artists as diverse as jazz pianist Herbie Hancock and choreographer Peggy Baker. About Hissing: "Song writing in the key of mood, through a sunny haze of dust and regret. Mitchell's soft-swinging elegy for the missing souls of suburbia could be the soundtrack for David Hockney's pleasurably empty portraits of poolside life." The top 10: 1. Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen 2. Powderfinger - Neil Young 3. Gens du Pays - Gilles Vigneault 4. New York City - The Demics 5. River - JM 6. American woman - The Guess Who 7. Foolish Love - Rufus Wainwright 8. Sundown Gordon Lightfoot 9. Ahead by a Century - The Tragically Hip 10. Letter from and Occupant - The New Pornographers. There is an online readers' poll at: www.theglobeandmail.com/index.html Below is the whole article, which came out today, July 1, and which contains the 5 worst at the end: THE TOP 25 CANADIAN POP SONGS Six Globe writers and editors who have their ears to the pulse of the nation stride past the merely good to crown the very best song writing the country has produced By ROBERT EVERETT-GREEN Monday, July 1, 2002  Print Edition, Page R1 There's something very clear and simple about a numbered list. Perhaps that's why so many find it so tempting to impose lists on things that aren't simple at all. It's damn difficult to measure the relative merits of, say, Hamlet and King Lear, so why not just settle the question with a blunt numeric ranking? We can argue the details later -- and, believe me, we will. In the same spirit, the Globe Review offers its first, and possibly last, numeric ranking of the best Canadian popular songs. The list was compiled during a two-hour argument in a Toronto bar among six Review writers and editors: national arts reporter James Adams, music critic Robert Everett-Green, arts assignment editor Andrew Gorham, freelance pop reviewer Alan Niester, blues reviewer Brad Wheeler and Scene columnist Carl Wilson). Our task was to stride past the merely good, and crown the best. Our process was more oblique. It wasn't enough, we realized, to think only in terms of craftsmanship. Our list also had to convey some sense of the history and flavour of song writing in Canada, over as wide a span of years and styles as possible. That span turned out to be embarrassingly short. Canadians have been writing songs for at least 200 years, in both official languages and many unofficial ones. But popular songs tend to lodge in a generational slice of common memory, and our panel's connection with songs from before 1950 was slim. And while Quebec theatre and literature get a frequent airing in English Canada, francophone pop remains the near-exclusive possession of la belle province. Some songs were eliminated because of doubts about their source, or their Canadianness. Born to Be Wild, written for Steppenwolf by Canadian Mars Bonfire (aka Dennis Edmonton), was ruled an adoptive American hit. You'll Get Used to It, a smash hit from the war years, dropped from contention because its German-born author, Freddy Grant (aka Fritz Grundland), wrote it before emigrating to Canada. Hockey Night in Canada's rugged theme song was written by a Brit, and Alouette, the best known of all Canadian folk songs, may have been carried over from France. Nobody, however, wanted to eliminate anything by Joni Mitchell, Neil Young or Leonard Cohen, though all three have lived and written outside Canada for much of their careers. That triumvirate also prompted us to accept a two-entry cap for any one songwriter. Giving five or 10 places to Young songs might be defensible, but not very indicative of the range of Canadian writing. Beyond that, our choices were often compromises, or exercises in quid pro quo, as in,"I'll let you have Mary Margaret O'Hara, but don't think you can come back later and challenge me over Bachman Turner Overdrive." Struggling to design a horse, we watched helplessly as our camel took shape. In the end, one thing was screamingly clear. Making lists like this one is a political activity. It's about exercising a dubious power of anointment and exclusion, of first, last and also-ran. It's about being ambushed by the hidden and often amusing prejudices of others and of oneself, and somehow blundering through to a conclusion that no one feels aggrieved or stubborn enough to keep on challenging. In sum, to paraphrase Hamlet, we exposed all that is mortal and unsure in contest for an eggshell. And here it is. 1. Hallelujah, Leonard Cohen, 1984 Cohen's mid-career masterpiece -- as he grew from poetic scoundrel into wisecracking monk -- has it all: eloquence, humour, sex and God. Covered by John Cale, Jeff Buckley, Rufus Wainwright and (in concert) Bob Dylan, it outranks even Tower of Song as a hymn to hymn-making, as the singer endures a dozen trials only to "stand before the Lord of Song/ with nothing on my tongue but 'Hallelujah.' " Meanwhile, he gets away with rhyming the title with "what's it to ya?" and singing about the song's own harmonic structure: "It goes like this/ the fourth, the fifth/ the major fall, the minor lift/ the baffled king composing Hallelujah." Untouchable. 2. Powderfinger, Neil Young, 1979 The hub of Rust Never Sleeps -- an album that, in one go, spotlights Young's singular talent for delivering acoustic songs of spare beauty in one breath, and corrosive rockers the next. Powderfinger, like album-mate Pocahontas, is fashioned in first-person narrative -- but to more striking effect. The dead man's tale ("Just think of me as one who never figured/ To fade away so young/ With so much left undone") doubles Rust's (and rock's) enduring believed truth: It's better to burn out than fade away. 3. Gens du Pays, Gilles Vigneault, 1976 In the run-up to Quebec's first referendum, the man who gained fame singing that his country was winter came out of retirement with a new anthem for his non-existent nation. The simple, rising tune exhorting a people to "let ourselves speak of love" goes to the very soul of Quebec life, whatever its political arrangement. And it attained a cultural status unlike any English Canadian song's: Not only is it sung at parades, rallies and wherever Quebec expats meet, it has even become the Quibicois version of Happy Birthday. 4. New York City, the Demics, 1979 "I wanna go to New York City/ because they tell me it's the place to be," snarls London, Ont.'s Keith Whittaker sarcastically. This punk-rock classic summed up for a new generation of Canadian rockers that sick-of-it-all, small-town malaise and overall disgust with the whole damn music scene. A stripped-down, grinding palette cleanser we so desperately needed in 1979 (see Worst-Of list, below) -- and the Demics delivered. 5. River, Joni Mitchell, 1971 A couple of decades before Tori Amos & Co. discovered the grand piano, Mitchell wheeled one out for this cool but plaintive song about the heart far from home. The tag line -- "I wish I had a river to skate away on" was incomprehensible in her California milieu, but deeply resonant to Canadian ears. Throughout her career, Mitchell has stayed true to the pedal-note of her origins, while becoming one of the most cosmopolitan and adventurous musicians of her generation. Her influence is incalculable, above all on women songwriters, but also on artists as diverse as jazz pianist Herbie Hancock and choreographer Peggy Baker. 6. American Woman, the Guess Who, 1970 Sure, it's a musical clichi today, but back in 1970, this song transformed Winnipeg's Guess Who from a Turtles-styled pop band into the next coming of the Doors. A superb pastiche of pop hooks, from guitarist Randy Bachman's memorable droning intro to singer Burton Cummings's Jim Morrisonesque yowl, it probably did more than any other song to bring so-called underground rock into the popular mainstream. And, deliberately or not, it encapsulated a whole generation's feelings toward America's involvement in Vietnam, and the imperialist attitudes that spawned it. 7. Foolish Love, Rufus Wainwright, 1998 Radio killed the family parlour and the afternoon musicale, except around the hearth of the McGarrigle sisters. Kate's son (by Loudon Wainwright III) stepped out in the mid-nineties with his first collection of sassy yet comfortably worn-in songs. He's a classic tunesmith born and bred, whose stuff moves easily between the rock stage and the cabaret. Foolish Love fuses a capacity for childish wonder with a sashaying beat that would look good strutting down St-Denis or in a Gay Pride parade. 8. Sundown, Gordon Lightfoot, 1974 Even when writing songs about the gap between the demands of the self and the demands of love -- most famously in If You Could Read My Mind, Love -- Lightfoot relied heavily on the tropes of the Romantic. Here, however, he's unabashedly at the dark, nasty end of that street, mixing a potent sonic cocktail of lust and shame, pleasure and guilt, menace and machismo. 9. Ahead by a Century, the Tragically Hip, 1996 "With illusions of some day casting a golden light/ No dress rehearsal, this is our life." When singer Gord Downie put down the stage-prop banana and picked up the acoustic guitar, the Hip moved from bruise and muscle to touch and finesse. Ahead by a Century marks that turn, and finds the band, in song craft and execution, at the top of their game. An amped-down tone and adolescent tree-top musings place the song sherpa-high above the band's more brooding fare. 10. Letter from an Occupant, the New Pornographers, 2000 Sounding like the bastard spawn of Blondie and the Beach Boys, this campus-radio hit leapt out of nowhere with woo-hoo choruses, pulsing organ, high-power guitar and tense, cryptic lyrics. It's one of a dozen madly catchy tunes by this Vancouver indie "supergroup" led by Carl Newman (Zumpano) and Dan Bejar (Destroyer) with alt-country star Neko Case on "New Wave robot" vocals. As fans such as Ray Davies of the Kinks attest, it adds up to a kind of pop perfection Canadians seldom even attempt. Extra points for the Joni reference: "I've cried five rivers on the way here/ which one should I skate away on?" 11. Harvest Moon, Neil Young, 1992 Like Elvis Presley, who once issued an LP with rock 'n' roll on one side and balladry on the other, Young has his tender side. This wistful open-air song of passage alludes to more than it states, with a simplicity that connects the moment to eternity. 12. Famous Blue Raincoat, Leonard Cohen, 1971 A simple letter to a friend hides the vast and complex emotions strewn through this delicate epistolary ballad about "L. Cohen" gently confronting a friend who has slept with his wife. Cohen is rarely subtle, which makes Famous Blue Raincoat a stand out amongst his large repertoire. 13. Barrett's Privateers, Stan Rogers, 1977 Rogers's love and understanding of the Maritimes -- its humour and its pain -- was unabashed and true. This salty ballad of misfortune on the high seas, sung in robust a cappella, is proof the man was truly at home on the Atlantic. 14. High School Confidential, Rough Trade, 1980 The Ohmigod single of 1980 took the homoerotic overtones of glam rock and feminized them, with a tough beat and a lurid depiction of hallway lust. Still catchy after all these years. 15. The Weight, the Band, 1968 Robbie Robertson, Levon Helm and Co. went deep into their musical roots and the Dylan lyrics bag for this quasi-biblical tale of ignored pleas and debts honoured and dodged. This masterpiece could have been written a century earlier and it would have sounded exactly the same. 16. Body's in Trouble, Mary Margaret O'Hara, 1988 There's no inside or outside to O'Hara's songs, just a fluid membrane that connects the heart and the ear with the distant murmuring of the stars. Body's in Trouble flicks at the limitations that make life worth the striving, with a patient drum-and-guitar beat to keep the singer tethered to Earth. 17. Heart Like a Wheel, Kate and Anna McGarrigle, 1975 With this song, a hit for Linda Ronstadt, Quebec's singing sister act not only lent exquisite melody to a gaze into the abyss ("It's only love that can wreck a human being and turn him inside out"), but announced a dynasty that would continue through nine albums and produce heirs Rufus and Martha Wainwright. 18. Magic People, the Paupers, 1967 Canada's first great piece of psychedelia, Magic People soared on drummer Skip Prokop's drum-corps rhythms and guitarist Chuck Beal's unfettered guitar feedback. As heavy as anything coming out of San Francisco at the time, it is truly Canada's forgotten psychedelic classic. 19. My Definition (of a Boombastic Jazz Style), the Dream Warriors, 1990 The polished pop rap of Maestro sold bigger, but it was this indie single -- with its goofy game-show-theme sample and loopy De La Soul-style rhymes -- that heralded a Canadian grassroots hip-hop scene, the harbinger of Kardinal Offishal, Swollen Members, Buck 65 and others coast to coast. 20. Takin' Care of Business, Bachman Turner Overdrive, 1974 The history of rock is peppered with guilty pleasures and dumb moments. This Bachman beauty, part plodder, part crowd-rouser, is a brilliant contribution to that side of things. 21. The Hissing of Summer Lawns, Joni Mitchell, 1975 Songwriting in the key of mood, through a sunny haze of dust and regret. Mitchell's soft-swinging elegy for the missing souls of suburbia could be the soundtrack for David Hockney's pleasurably empty portraits of poolside life. 22. Try, Blue Rodeo, 1987 If Gram Parsons had survived into the eighties and joined a real rock band, the result might have been something akin to this archetypal Blue Rodeo ballad. 23. Fred Eaglesmith, Time to Get a Gun, 1997 Canada's great underrated country songwriter struck his most iconoclastic blow with this rocker about a pretty good guy trying to figure how to defend himself against crime and the "government man" planning to put a highway through his farm -- even if the wife (and some Fred fans) wouldn't understand. 24. Underwhelmed, Sloan, 1993 With Rain Man lyrics and fuzzed-out guitars, Canada got grungy with it. Not since I Was a Teenage Werewolf has adolescent angst been so much fun. We were amused, we were overwhelmed. 25. Tokyo, Bruce Cockburn, 1980 Canada has produced an illustrious cadre of folkish singer-songwriters -- Murray McLauchlan, Valdy, Sarah McLachlan, Ian and Sylvia among them -- but Cockburn stands alone in his longevity and consistency, and his ability to both hold and build an audience. This irresistible hit, about a Bladerunner-esque visit to Japan, is the finest song in a fine oeuvre. The five worst Canadian songs "It will be longer than the Best list," scoffed one of the critics when we considered this list. But, hey, we are a young nation. And after 135 years, we are beginning to find our chops, so we can also take our lumps. Seasons in the Sun Terry Jacks, 1973 Heartbreaking and profound -- if you are 5. Diana Paul Anka, 1957 Whinier than Puppy Love. Everything I Do (I Do It for You) Bryan Adams, 1991 A terrible stain on an otherwise mediocre career. Sometimes When We Touch Dan Hill, 1977 Made Canadians look as wimpy as Americans suspected. These Eyes The Guess Who, 1969 Never seems to end, no matter how fast Burton Cummings sings. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 09:39:55 -0400 From: "Heather" Subject: RE: under [blank] NJC Hi all- This sort of situation that happened to you Jim is all too prevalent in today's work force. If a person is at all innovative and an efficient, hard worker BUT holds opinions WELL! heaven forbid if you speak up! Tactics of intimidation are used in the forms of (1) no pay raise (2) taking your work responsibilities away from you and (3) situations such as Jim described. They do this to beat you into conformity. I know this all too well as I have left jobs due to these things happening to me. I can afford to do this though. Many cannot. These situations run the gamut of job types too... whether you are a chemist, carpenter, lawyer, machinist, mason, ... whatever you do. The bottom line is that no one is truly going to stick up for you but you. Don't be beaten Jim. You'll come up with some solution that will work for you. You got to shake your fist at lightening. Heather - -----Original Message----- From: owner-joni@jmdl.com [mailto:owner-joni@jmdl.com]On Behalf Of Mags N Brei Sent: Monday, July 01, 2002 6:59 AM To: Jim L'Hommedieu (Lama) Cc: joni@smoe.org Subject: Re: under [blank] NJC I hear you Jim. There is something very unnerving (to the powers that be) when employees demonstrate the ability to think. Employees with a mind, a brain, independent thoughts are a big *no no* and just watch that corporate roof cave in if we demonstrate that we actually have feelings. And challenge policy *gasp*. And on it goes. They just might do things like install 'security' cameras for 'security' purposes. Cameras which just so happen to be aimed dead centre into your work area. As Margaret Atwood wrote in her most recent book about writing... "it's a cog eat cog world". You are a very intelligent, articulate person Jim and dont let anyone tell you different, or they will have magsie to deal with ;-) Mags, 12 days and counting - --- "Jim L'Hommedieu (Lama)" wrote: > My boss'es boss took me to lunch last week and advised me for 15 > minutes > that expressing myself is "unprofessional". Then he said that if > something's bothering me, I should know that I can always "talk it > over" > with him. I said, "Great. Should we do that in person or by email?" > > He more fully explained (over the following ADDITIONAL 20 minutes) > that he > meant when I feel anger about a policy I should let it "roll off" as > if it > was rainwater. > > I'm not a smart man but I finally realized that he was trying to say > "I have > an open-door policy as long as you promise to never, ever use it. > And keep > your mouth shut." > > Naturally, since one can not actually 'mouth' those words, it > actually takes > 35 minutes to convey what one doesn't DARE to speak out loud for fear > of > being unprofessional. > > Oh. Got it. > > So, I'll bring my sarcasm to THIS table instead: > > "One nation > under-achieving > with conformity > and mediocrity..... > for all." > > Lamadoo > > > Alison E wrote: > > > > LOL! that's what my friend and I came up with last > > night.... > > one nation, under [blank], with [blankety] and [blank] > > for all. ===== You open my heart, you do. Yes you do. - JM Yahoo! - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 09:40:09 -0400 From: "Suze Cameron" Subject: Re: What do River and The Hissing have in common? Thanks for this article Brett. Funny that they choose such diverse Joni songs. Me thinks that Song for Sharon or a selection with a few Canadian mentions would be their pick. Don't get me wrong, the title song from Hissing, which just happens to be my fav collection of songs, is a pretty darn cool choice. Also like the way they try to use a Stevie Wonder reference to explain the theme of the song. This is just a slice of suburbia, so only a song in the key of a mood. >21. The Hissing of Summer Lawns, Joni Mitchell, 1975 > >Songwriting in the key of mood, through a sunny haze of dust and regret. >Mitchell's soft-swinging elegy for the missing souls of suburbia could be >the soundtrack for David Hockney's pleasurably empty portraits of poolside >life. MY NEXT QUESTION.... >The five worst Canadian songs #1 >Seasons in the Sun > >Terry Jacks, 1973 Does anyone on the list like this song? When it came out in '73 I was in grade school still, and all the kids adored it. I found it grating and offensive to the ears. If anyone does actually appreciate this song please explain the attraction!!!! Suze n.p. Dance Hall Crashers, "He Wants Me Back" ____________________________________________________________ Win a first-class trip to New Orleans and vacation Elvis Style!. Enter NOW! http://r.lycos.com/r/sagel_mail/http://www.elvis.lycos.com/sweepstakes/ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 09:59:01 -0400 From: "Suze Cameron" Subject: RE: under [blank] NJC Heather wrote: >Hi all- >This sort of situation that happened to you Jim is all too prevalent in today's work force. ...heaven forbid if you speak up! Heather, I wrote Jim off list but really wanted to respond now as others are chiming in. What kills me is how individuals are beaten to conformity through the very tactics that you mention, yet are expected to continue to be passionate about their work. It is an oxymoron and can't be accomplished. Not only should you shake your fists Jim, but remind your boss what a passionate person can bring to a job. That can-do attitude of someone who thinks and feels deeply is what's missing in the corporate world. I have taken a summer job to make some extra cash for next year when both my girls graduate high school. The business I work for mandates that all employees wear a certain color apron (I will not mention the corporation name but you all get what I am talking about). A few days after my orientation I began to job shadow on the floor. I didn't have my "colors" on because the only size aprons they had were mega small. Those of you who know "ruebenesque" me understand why that might be an issue. I was told time and time to get my colors on, to which I responded that if corporate headquarters mandated I wear a certain uniform then it is their responsibility to provide me with something that fits, unless, of course, they want a discrimiation suit on their hands. OUCH! So far I haven't made a great impression on my new bosses. :-) Easy advice for Heather and I to give, Jim, but keep plugging away and remember that you can always come here to vent and discuss your feelings. What else are friends for? Suze n.p. Ocean 11, "Skagasm" ____________________________________________________________ Win a first-class trip to New Orleans and vacation Elvis Style!. Enter NOW! http://r.lycos.com/r/sagel_mail/http://www.elvis.lycos.com/sweepstakes/ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 10:28:22 EDT From: TerryM2222@aol.com Subject: Re: birth parents NJC Hi, I know this thread is old, but I just now got to it after being out of town...coincidently, for a reunion with my daughter's birthfather. Colin, my belief is that this is a very individual thing. Some adoptees strongly want and need to meet their biological families. Others have little or no interest. But I think that if they DO have the desire, they should be able to have that experience. Most adoptees (and I've read some of their notes here on the list) have expressed fantasies of who their bio parents are. My feeling, is that the truth is usually better than whatever wish, fantasy or image an adoptee creates for him/herself. However....I don't think it's in the best interest of an adult adoptee to be forced into finding out info on their biofamilies unless they 1. want to and 2. are prepared to find out the information. If their fantasy is that a reunion will fill in ALL the gaps and they'll live happily ever after, then that is something that I believe needs to be addressed and worked out before the meeting. I don't know the statistics, but some adoptees have extremely positive experiences, while others do not. Obviously, some birthparents do not wish to reunite, while others live every day hoping and praying they can find their biological child. But for the adult adoptee who is well prepared for whatever they learn about their bio family...AND the possibility of being rejected (again), then I think it is an incredible experience. I do believe that all adoptees be given the opportunity IF THEY WANT IT, to be able to meet their bio parents. You ask if it's ever right to refuse a meeting with (I'm guessing), the biological child. This is where things get cloudy. For as much as I believe that an adoptee has the right to know more about her/his background, I also believe that biological parents have rights too. There are so many reasons for bio parents to relinquish legal rights to their children. They may have had horrific experiences that led to the pregnancy and don't wish to open up those painful memories. I guess I respect that need. But I also know that the needs of the adoptees can be so strong too...that even if the history behind their conception is so negative, they would much rather know that than know nothing at all. Anyway, our reunion went exceptionally well and I realize that we are lucky. My daughter, adopted by us at birth, expressed a strong desire at 14 to meet her biomom. With a lot of counseling for preparation, and to make sure she was ready to handle it, we went ahead with the reunion 3 years ago. Her b/mom and I had stayed in contact via letters/email all these years, so it was easy to plan the actual reunion. I knew that her biomom was open to this. What we didn't expect was that she had planned an entire family reunion, which included her daughter (my daughter's full sib), her parents (who are divorced and hadn't spoken for the last 30 years but came out to meet their grandchild), aunts, uncles and tons of cousins. A few months ago, her b/dad came back into the picture and my daughter wanted to meet him as well. We met him this weekend and her b/mom was there as well. (they never married and had split up when my daughter was born). Colin, you asked...what if the parents have problems? And my answer is...who doesn't?? Both of my daughter's b/parents have significant problems. She doesn't love them any less for that. She's thrilled that she now has the information, the facts. And she can decide (along with them), how much of a relationship she wishes to have with them. As a wise friend of mine said, to prepare me 3 years ago for this, "you cannot be loved by too many people". Terry << s it always a good idea for children who for whatevrer reason don't know one or both birth parents to find them? What if the parent you find has problems? Is menatlly ill?Is deficient in some way? Or just doesn't fit the 'parent' picture? Is gay? Is in prison or whatever? Under what circumstances would it be better to not see an adult child? Would it ever be right to refuse a meeting? >> ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 11:28:44 -0400 From: SCJoniGuy@aol.com Subject: Re: under [blank] NJC > You got to shake your fist at lightening. But remember that while people have been struck & killed by lightning, very rarely has a person affected a lightning bolt. Rephrased, keep your mouth shut & do what they tell you to do, Jim. Make money so you can live your REAL life the way you want. And remember, your performance review (and relative pay raises) will not be based on how well you do your job, but rather on how others *perceive* how well you do your job. Bob, who spends most of his workday fulfilling stupid requests for idiots (not talking about any of you here - LOL) NP: Rolling Stones, "Feel On Baby" ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 08:46:15 -0700 From: "gene mock" Subject: Re: under [blank] NJC welcome to the collective where the individual doesn't matter. "surrender! it is futile to resist." working for a living can definitely be the pits. take care gene - ----- Original Message ----- From: "Jim L'Hommedieu (Lama)" To: "_JMDL" Sent: Sunday, June 30, 2002 11:01 PM Subject: Re: under [blank] NJC > My boss'es boss took me to lunch last week and advised me for 15 minutes > that expressing myself is "unprofessional". Then he said that if > something's bothering me, I should know that I can always "talk it over" > with him. I said, "Great. Should we do that in person or by email?" > > He more fully explained (over the following ADDITIONAL 20 minutes) that he > meant when I feel anger about a policy I should let it "roll off" as if it > was rainwater. > > I'm not a smart man but I finally realized that he was trying to say "I have > an open-door policy as long as you promise to never, ever use it. And keep > your mouth shut." > > Naturally, since one can not actually 'mouth' those words, it actually takes > 35 minutes to convey what one doesn't DARE to speak out loud for fear of > being unprofessional. > > Oh. Got it. > > So, I'll bring my sarcasm to THIS table instead: > > "One nation > under-achieving > with conformity > and mediocrity..... > for all." > > Lamadoo > > > Alison E wrote: > > > > LOL! that's what my friend and I came up with last > > night.... > > one nation, under [blank], with [blankety] and [blank] > > for all. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 14:31:04 -0400 From: Engwall57@aol.com Subject: Re: Barandgrill...I get it! JC Thanks for the kudos on my interpretation of Barangrill. Now, can anyone help me with Passion Play? I love the song, but it's meaning is not clear to me. Who am I gonna get to do the dirty work? Ruth in Richmond ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 14:09:08 -0700 (PDT) From: anne@sandstrom.com Subject: Re: under [blank] NJC > And remember, your performance review (and relative pay raises) will not be based on how well you do your job, but rather on how others *perceive* how well you do your job. Actually, it's probably worse than that. Your performance review and pay raises will be based on some sort of curve, predetermined by how the company's stock is doing. It will have nothing to do with you whatsoever. Some day I'll be well and cancer-free. Yay! Then I'll have to go back to the regular working world. Yuck! (although, if this vaccine works, I'm writing a book and hitting the talk show circuit :-) To hell with the 9 to 5! ) lots of love Anne ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 17:30:53 -0400 From: SCJoniGuy@aol.com Subject: Re: under [blank] NJC > It will have nothing to do with you > whatsoever. How true...I've been there as well, Anne. But I got even. I quit here in '99, went to work with the kayak folks for a year, and they hired me back in 2001 for 20% than they were paying me when I left! Whoo Hoo! :~) Bob, still spending it faster than he makes it... NP: Rolling Stones, "I Got The Blues" ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 19:41:36 -0400 From: "Jim L'Hommedieu \(Lama\)" Subject: RE: under [blank] NJC Thanks to all who showed their support but I think Muller's on to something here. The very choicest part happened today, when the COO, who sic'ed the dogs on me, announced a meeting on Tuesday to allow the whole company "to brainstorm" how we as a company can do better in the coming season!!!! I hope to G*d he calls on me so I can pretend to be petrified out of my wits. Staring straight at my boss'es boss I may say, very slowly, "Uhhhhhhh........ (very, very long pregnant pause; all eyes on me) I........ don't.... want..... to say... anything that............ might be construed as....... unprofessional but.... I appreciate the opportunity...... to say something....... unprofessional anyway, sir." Naw. That's a fantasy. I'll just say, "Wow! I'm just impressed with the quality of the suggestions so far and I couldn't possibly add anything useful." I'll say it very fast so everyone who knows me will know that it's bluster! All the best, Lama Muller said: > While people have been struck & killed by lightning, > very rarely has a person affected a lightning bolt. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 01 Jul 2002 21:13:05 -0700 From: Michael Paz Subject: Re: under [Alison] NJC Praise God And Alison's behind! Paz (still breathing) on 6/28/02 9:26 AM, Murphycopy@aol.com at Murphycopy@aol.com wrote: > Victor writes: > > << "One nation, under Allison, with mad libs and pretty blue eyes for all" >> > > I think that's a great idea, Victor. > > And there's also that part of the Pledge of Allegiance that says, "And to the > Republic, for Richard Sands?" Who the hell is he and why does he get > mentioned? I would rather mention Alison when I pledge. After all, the image > of her with the Olympic flame last winter will always be etched in my mind as > a defining moment in exactly what it means to be an American! > > --Bob ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 22:13:11 EDT From: SCJoniGuy@aol.com Subject: Re: under [blank] NJC <> That's the Dilbert spirit, Lama! Be sure to work in those all-important key words like paradigm, synergy, alignment, be sure to say "I'm on board with that", and if anyone disagrees with you tell them you need to take it offline. ;~) Bob ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 19:50:04 -0700 From: "kakki" Subject: Re: under [blank] NJC Hey Lama, Sorry that you had to endure that. It's so funny - in the law firms I've worked for they think you are dim and not worth your salt if you *don't* challenge them! What would be considered totally "insubordinate" in the corporation is respected and considered "proving your worth" with the litigators I've known - and in my experience they do listen to, and effect change, based on those employees who speak up. My corporate experience was pretty good until I worked for an American-based one. I worked for 3 Japanese-based companies for several years and thought they were truly enlightened compared to the American model. They had consensus-based management so every "cog" so to speak, had total and fairly equal ongoing input. Of course, some American companies tried to copy the Japanese model when they were shown to be so productive, but they didn't know how to rid of their old ways of impersonal, bog you down in red tape ways for the most part. The last corporation I worked for was a large American one and I always felt all they wanted was a mute seat warmer. The way I adapted was to expend my energies, intelligence and creativity (which were not required in my job) in going back to school after work so that I could get the hell out and into something better ;-) Kakki ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 23:51:56 -0400 From: "Jim L'Hommedieu \(Lama\)" Subject: RE: under [blank] NJC Kakki, Yah, I decided, as you did, > "to expend my energies, intelligence and creativity (which were not required > in my job) in going back to school after work so that I could get the hell > out and into something better ;-) Now I have an enormous debt load from school loans, less income, no repect, a 14 year old car, live in the inner city, deliver pizza to cover my debts, and earn no overtime pay. The "American Dream" of earning middle income through education has been the cruelest hoax in my fecking life. (Sorry about my language. I promise you I **DO** pick my spots.) Lamadoo ps, The biggest positive difference: now the people I work for speak in complete sentences. In the old days, I reported to a supervisor who's written reviews of his employees were always returned to him for revision because he...... uhmmmmm...... was not able to master the construction of English language paragraphs. ------------------------------ End of JMDL Digest V2002 #273 ***************************** ------- Post messages to the list by clicking here: mailto:joni@smoe.org Unsubscribe by clicking here: mailto:joni-digest-request@smoe.org?body=unsubscribe ------- Siquomb, isn't she?