From: les@jmdl.com (JMDL Digest) To: joni-digest@smoe.org Subject: JMDL Digest V2001 #450 Reply-To: joni@smoe.org Sender: les@jmdl.com Errors-To: les@jmdl.com Precedence: bulk Unsubscribe: mailto:joni-digest-request@smoe.org?body=unsubscribe Archives: http://www.smoe.org/lists/joni Websites: http://www.jmdl.com http://www.jonimitchell.com JMDL Digest Saturday, September 29 2001 Volume 2001 : Number 450 The Official Joni Mitchell Homepage, created by Wally Breese, can be found at http://www.jonimitchell.com. It contains the latest news, a detailed bio, Original Interviews, essays, lyrics and much much more. The JMDL website can be found at http://www.jmdl.com and contains interviews, articles, the member gallery, archives, and much more. ========== TOPICS and authors in this Digest: -------- Just one more question ["hell" ] Not ready for levity - njc [JRMCo1@aol.com] Re: Old MacJoni ["hell" ] Re: Not ready for levity - njc [Janet Hess ] product safety (njc) [Anne Sandstrom ] Job's (and Ann's) Sad Sorrow (sjc) [BigWaltinSF@aol.com] Re: product safety (njc) [waytoblu@mindspring.com] stupid product labels NJC [TimandMaryPowers@aol.com] Re: boring topics/Star Trek NJC ["Dolphie Bush" ] they're the kind of mood you're in tonight ["Dolphie Bush" ] PLEASE READ!!!! IMPORTANT!!!!!!! [AsharaJM@aol.com] Edith and the French Fries [BigWaltinSF@aol.com] Re: island songs (njc) ["Victor Johnson" ] Re: Let us melt tempers....hot emotions...SEX (njc) [PMcfad@aol.com] Re: Let us melt tempers....hot emotions...SEX (njc) ["Dolphie Bush" ] Re: In the background ["hell" ] Heather & Colin (s) njc ["Kate Bennett" ] boring topics yay NJC [Yael Harlap ] Re: boring topics yay NJC ["hell" ] trouble on the JMDL site? [Murphycopy@aol.com] Re: trouble on the JMDL site? ["Dolphie Bush" ] Re: Let us melt tempers....hot emotions...SEX (njc) ["Bree Mcdonough" ] Jimi njc ["Kate Bennett" ] To Anne [RobSher50@aol.com] Re: boring topics/Star Trek NJC [RobSher50@aol.com] Re: Boring topics/Star Trek (njc)wait-(sjc) [Kammass@aol.com] other starry nights ["shane mattison" ] bob, star trek, and joni (sjc) [Kammass@aol.com] Re: bob, star trek, and joni (sjc) [Kammass@aol.com] Let us melt tempers....hot emotions...SEX (njc) [evian Subject: Just one more question Further to the "what question would you ask Joni" thread, where I become her new assistant, here's another wee exchange I had with Cindy: Cindy: "Hey! I *sound* boring, but I'm really quite a bit of fun. Can't I talk to her for just one moment, please? I need her to get off her duff and WRITE SOME SONGS!! Thank you. I'll hold....." My reply: "Still holding? Ms. Mitchell regretfully declines to speak to you today, and advises you to call back some other time. She has found her inspiration, and is in the middle of a spectacular portrait of her new assistant (in oils) and will be unavailable for some months. However her back-catalogue is available at every quality music store, and I advise you to listen to Hejira, if you don't yet have it in your collection. Perfection cannot be improved on. Wait.... she's saying something.....oh, no. She was just telling me to hurry back to my seat - my nose is apparently not quite right yet, and her cigarette needs lighting. Goodbye." Anyone else want to "bother" Joni? No? Good. We're busy..... Hell - who was told to send this to the list ____________________________ "To have great poets, there must be great audiences too." - Walt Whitman hell@ihug.co.nz Hell's Personal Photo Page: http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~hell/main/personal.htm Visit the NBLs (Natural Born Losers) at: http://www.nbls.co.nz ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 18:55:55 EDT From: JRMCo1@aol.com Subject: Not ready for levity - njc I didn't think I could stomach any attempt at humor regarding the recent terrorist attacks, but these guys seem to have pulled off satire without being offensive. Note especially the "God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule" and the "President Urges Calm, Restraint Among Nation's Ballad Singers" articles. http://www.theonion.com/ - -Julius ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 11:10:38 +1200 From: "hell" Subject: Re: Old MacJoni Victor wrote: > Old Mac Joni had a farm, > E I E I O. > And on this farm she had a Hell, > E I E I O. > And a dingo here, and a dingo there, > Here a ding, there a ding, > Everywhere a fecking dingo. Those fecking dingos again! Oh, Victor! ROTFLMAO! This is priceless! Hell ____________________________ "To have great poets, there must be great audiences too." - Walt Whitman hell@ihug.co.nz Hell's Personal Photo Page: http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~hell/main/personal.htm Visit the NBLs (Natural Born Losers) at: http://www.nbls.co.nz ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 19:03:44 -0400 From: Janet Hess Subject: Re: Not ready for levity - njc Yes! When I saw what The Onion had done, I was astonished: how incredibly life-affirming! I have the feeling that this wasn't at all easy to do, but I salute the folks who were able to do the impossible. Cheerz, Janet and Deanna, who thinks that doing the impossible isn't nearly as important as taking a good nap At 6:55 PM 9/28/2001 -0400, JRMCo1@aol.com wrote: >I didn't think I could stomach any attempt at humor regarding the recent >terrorist attacks, but these guys seem to have pulled off satire without >being offensive. > - -------------- You've got to shake your fists at lightning now You've got to roar like forest fire You've got to spread your light like blazes All across the sky Joni Mitchell ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 19:16:04 -0400 From: Anne Sandstrom Subject: product safety (njc) OK, so my favorite product safety comes from a fellow (I hate to say this) technical writer. At least, I guess that's what you'd call the people who write the applicance manuals that nobody reads, right? (Hell, no one reads software documentation either, so we must be in the same profession.) Anyway, my favorite (drum roll please...) My hair dryer came with a list of instructions about 3 pages long, including "Do not use this product while sleeping." OK. I'll TRY not to!!! But, honestly, I can't say I've noticed an epidemic of "sleep styling." And my second favorite: Do not use this product (still the hair dryer) while taking certain medications. Like, you might wind up with a bad hair day or something???? I wish I could remember more. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff other writers/editors wanted to put in our software documentation. I also remember one editor saying "How do we MAKE them (users of the products) read?" Man, if I could figure that one out, do you think I'd be sitting HERE in this boring meeting with you??? I also love product literature that's been badly translated. Anyone have any examples of that? lots of love (and laughing out loud) Anne ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 19:18:52 EDT From: BigWaltinSF@aol.com Subject: Job's (and Ann's) Sad Sorrow (sjc) Hi, Ann, You may have noticed my name on postings starting a few weeks ago when I joined JMDL, but we don't know each other. After I read your posting about finding out you *do* have a tumor after all, I had a flashback of sorts and had to weep a bit and collect my thoughts. In 1994, the head of the non-profit agency I last worked for hired (groan) an "efficiency expert" (quotes intended). Said EI decided that the educational wing of the non-prof was the most wasteful (huh?) and had to be destroyed; first in her sights was me. Suffice it to say that due to the closing ranks of, and support from, my co-workers and boss, it took her a year to get rid of me. I ultimately decided, given my deteriorating health, to go on permanent disability. Five months later, in December '95, I was diagnosed with cancer, a huge tumor; given the fact I had advanced AIDS, I was given about a 10% chance of survival. Obviously, I did survive, as I always have (so far) each time it was suggested that it was curtains for me. I'm sure you're aware of all sorts of "peripheral" things you can do to help your situation, but just in case I thought I'd put my two cents in: (1) Meditation, of whatever kind suits you and your temperament. This broadly includes whatever anyone *else* wants to "meditate" for you. I used to laugh during my illness whenever someone would preface "I'll be praying for you" with an apology for their being religious on the assumption that I wasn't. My response, of course was that I would accept whatever help I could get. And I have no doubt, from my brief membership in this e-family, that everyone here will be pullng for you in whatever form(at) they choose. (2) Music. Given my temperament, I found anger at the illness (and at my seemingly unending bad luck) led me to Job's Sad Sorrow on Joni's then "current" TI. I would groan when she sang "...Why do you make/everything I dread and everything I fear/come true?", and thump the sofa with my fists and weep. I always felt purged afterwards. Obviously, anger is not the best or most helpful response for everyone, but... worked for me. And then I'd listen to Jericho and "open up". (Also helpful for me: lots of Cocteau Twins, Sundays, k.d. lang...but I digress.) Ann, my thoughts and feelings and best wishes to you, Walter "bigwaltinsf" Breen ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 19:20:59 -0400 From: waytoblu@mindspring.com Subject: Re: product safety (njc) Actual warning label: Please remove baby before folding up stroller. Victor in Athens ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 20:20:08 EDT From: TimandMaryPowers@aol.com Subject: stupid product labels NJC Here are some hilarious ones. http://www.huddlenet.com/holidays/fools/labels.html Mary ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 19:20:18 -0500 From: "Dolphie Bush" Subject: Re: boring topics/Star Trek NJC Doesn't Joni seem somewhat like a Vulcan? Mack - ----- Original Message ----- From: To: Sent: Friday, September 28, 2001 5:21 PM Subject: Re: boring topics/Star Trek NJC > > If Joni wrote/starred in a Star Trek episode, what would it be like? any ideas? > > > > Mary > > I can imagine Joni starring in that original Star Trek episode where the elite god-like people who lived above the clouds in opulent splendor forced the people who lived below on the planet surface to work in the mines digging out some kind of toxic coal-like fuel, to the detriment of their health. > > Joni would be a guest-star, playing the part of a Starfleet Command adviser traveling with the Enterprise on this mission. Let's go ahead and make her half Volcan with the ears and everthing, but she'd lean more to her human, artistic side, whereas Spock favors his logical Volcan half. > > Joni would start by being beamed from the Enterprise to the palace in the sky above the planet with Kirk, Spock and "Bones". They would be wined and dined by the leaders of the elite people above the clouds...this is all before they become aware of the awful plight of the people down below. > > After a dinner of ambrosia, exotic fruit, cheeses and wines of the finest vintage, Joni would serenade them all from a small Grecian looking stage that appears to be hovering in the sky. She'd sing "A Case of You" and "Woodstock" while playing an exotic lair, which is actually a dulcimer if you look closely. > > After beaming down to the planet, meeting some of the enslaved townsfolk, hearing of their oppression and falling in love with their culture, Joni would near-tearfully sing "Fiddle and the Drum" and "Both Sides Now" to a gathering of workers assembled deep in a mineshaft, before she is overcome by the fumes and has to be revived by McCoy. > > Later, back above the clouds, Joni would be pissed. She'd intervene on behalf of the miners, in the interest of justice, saying at one point to the elite people "You all are acting like tourists, man!" > > -Julius ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 19:58:40 -0500 From: "Dolphie Bush" Subject: island songs company-rickie lee jones judgment of the moon and stars-joni beofre my heart finds out-gene cotton daughter of light-carole king how deep is your love- bee gees i saw a man and he danced with his wife-cher wish we were heroes-missy you oughta be home with me-barry manilow scenes from an italian restaurant-billy joel how much i feel-ambrosia hey baby can you come out tonight-dolly parton oops- that's eleven. couldn't make that final cut mack ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 20:13:09 -0500 From: "Dolphie Bush" Subject: they're the kind of mood you're in tonight a bottle of reds, a bottle of whites I'll meet you anytime you want in our italian restaurant ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 19:30:29 -0600 From: "shane mattison" Subject: congrats! congratulations heather on the birth of your grandson... i have had no kids; i can't imagine what its like, but it must be pretty cool... cheers shane ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 21:32:43 EDT From: AsharaJM@aol.com Subject: PLEASE READ!!!! IMPORTANT!!!!!!! This doesn't have anything to do with Joni, but it is intentionally sent to everyone, and I hope you will continue to read on. Anne Sandstrom, who many of you know, is battling yet another tumor. I was so pleased at the generosity of this list the last time Anne was battling cancer. As many of you remember, I asked for donations of a dollar or two towards purchasing a t-shirt for her at the Both Sides Now Tour, since she had to miss it because of her illness. We raised SO much money, that I presented Anne with every lithograph, every t-shirt, the mug, vest, and whatever else they were selling!!! An amazing group of people you are. I am now asking for much more. I am asking for something much more precious than your money. I am asking for your time. When I read Anne's post yesterday, I thought, "How can we as a community help her once again?" I thought of this: I would get Les to send everyone an e-mail except Anne, like we did before, and ask them to send either a tape or an mp3 of their voice, saying encouraging things to her. Then, I thought, we could put it all together and send it to her with our love and prayers. I spoke to Anne this morning, and we were yakking about how "fecking" awful the whole thing is, and what she was going to do, and when she was having a meeting with the "team" of family, doctors, etc. And we talked some more....... and I offered to take her to doctor's appointments, etc. etc. AND THEN SHE SAID THIS: "I really think I will need to go forward with the operation, even though I dread it, and I was thinking about what could support me the most. I thought that if I could have a CD (or 2 if need be) made of all the people that I care about with their voices saying encouraging things to me while I am "under" during the operation, that is what would help the most. I thought maybe I would ask you to possibly help me with that." ACK!!!!!! I could not, could NOT believe what she just said!!! I lost my voice, I started crying, I literally couldn't talk, except to choke out, "Anne, just give me a second, there is a REASON for me not being able to speak right now." I explained myself so she wouldn't think I was a "complete" nutcase, (although she knows me well, so that didn't really help much!) So......here's the deal: I have no expertise whatsoever in putting tapes or mp3's onto CD's.......but I asked a good friend of mine who has lots and lots of expertise in this field to help me out. Mr. Bob Muller is one of the most generous men I know, and when I asked him to think about it, as I thought it would (hopefully!) be a very time-consuming job, he never hesitated for even a second. Since Anne was very much part of this as per the phone call, I asked for her input as to what she really needed. I post her answer to me in it's entirety: - ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ - ------------------- Hi Honey! OK, so here are some ideas if people don't know what to say: "Hi Anne. This is __________________." and then something like any of these, or anything else they can think of: - - I'm waiting for your next post to the list. You're going to be fine. - - I'm here with you. You're doing great. - - Wow, they're healing you. All the cancer is gone! - - I'm here waiting for you. Here's a big hug to make you better. - - This operating room is full of 800 JMDLers! And would you believe nobody's disagreeing with anyone? OK, so I'm lying :-) - - This room is like a fecking JoniFest. Even Ross is humming "The Circle Game." (I have to explain this one. It has to be said with a touch of humor. Ross is the surgeon's first name. The idea of him humming ANYTHING is so funny!) - - There's a healing light in and around your body. It's making us all warm like a fire in the firplace at Bean's house in New Hampshire. - - I can't believe you're smiling. That is so cool! You're making everyone else here smile too. - - This is the best this surgery has ever gone. You're going to heal so quickly! - - And you thought this was going to be hard? This is easier than going to the dentist, isn't it? Hopefully that'll give people ideas. lots and lots of love Anne - ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ - -------------- I would like to add to not forget to say your name when you start. (Anne, this is______) So....I am asking for a lot I know, but I know you'll come through, even if you don't know Anne. Please hurry to get these things to Bob, as I'm not sure how soon she will be going in to surgery. Also, technical questions should go directly to Bob. Thanks to ALL of you!!! Bob Muller 309 West Prentiss Ave. Greenville, SC 29605 USA A million hugs, Ashara ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 21:40:38 EDT From: BigWaltinSF@aol.com Subject: Edith and the French Fries Hi, all, I was at McDonalds (comfort food, guilty pleasure -- now you all know) when amongst all the top-20 pop musack, what should I hear but Edith and The Kingpin. At McDonalds?!?!? Don't know who chooses what's played on these playlists, but I always assumed they were chosen on the basis of sales or something like that. Which led me to wonder: Was Edith released as a single from HoSL? I seem to remember In France They Kiss On Main Street was, but I don't remember what else was. And I wondered if Edith was among the songs JM mentioned in that Billboard article to appear on the (hopefully soon to be renamed) Swan Song? Got home and checked -- it wasn't -- and I know there's already a nice version also on S&L -- but wouldn't it be a good candidate? But then, if she recorded all the songs I like on the upcoming album, it would have to be a boxed set. :-) Joni at McDonalds, when I was having a bad day. Thank you, powers that be. walt ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 21:29:05 -0400 From: "Victor Johnson" Subject: Re: island songs (njc) Orpheus- David Sylvian Natural Science- Rush Dock of the Bay- Otis Redding Down By the Seaside- Led Zeppelin Delta- Crosby, Stills, and Nash Nightswimming-REM Always- Jonatha Brooke Ocean Gypsy- Rennaisance The Dawntreader- Joni Mitchell And You And I- Yes Victor in Athens Victor Johnson http://www.cdbaby.com/victorjohnson "Velveteen rabbits and moonbeams, Come when you lay down your head. While you are sleeping, they kiss you and tell you, That you are the reason the sun lights the sky." Scarlet-V. Johnson ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 21:48:36 EDT From: PMcfad@aol.com Subject: Re: Let us melt tempers....hot emotions...SEX (njc) If, you could make love to anyone on planet earth besides your significant other, who would that person be and what music would you have playing ok. i would want to do it with a girl from my high school class and i'd want to hear jethro tull in the background. i'd want to do it with a certain lister while pj harvey played in the background. i'd want to do it with a woman who used to come to church where i lived while gregorian chant played in the back ground. i'd want to do it with another lister and hear bruce's 4th of july, asbury park in the background. i'd want to do it with my one rich neighbor in her tennis dress and hear her front lawn water sprinklers going chechechechecheche...while the water sprinkes over top of us on her front lawn. i'd want to do it with my wife's best friend on her back deck while bach played in the background. i'd want to do it with a third lister while steelydan played in the back ground. i'd want to do it with a fourth lister while dave matthews played in the background. i've never wanted to do it with joni, but i would like to do it with her creation named penelope while beat of black wings played in the background. i'd want to do it with a woman i used to work with while peter gabriel's in your eyes played in the background. i'd want to do it with lister number one and four at the same time while dave matthews and tim renyolds played in the background. i'd want to do it with a woman priest i met while madonna played music in the background, thought i'm still in denial about that one (hey mister dj, put a record on...wanna dance with my baby). then, i'd want to do it with a woman i don't know but used to see all the time in town while a street jazz band played in the background. and that would be it. pat np. medly ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 20:54:08 -0500 From: "Dolphie Bush" Subject: Re: Let us melt tempers....hot emotions...SEX (njc) Ok PMcfad. I will follow your lead. I would want to make love to DMR while Dolly Parton's album Here You Come Again played over and over again. I would want to make love to that boy from my hometown that I loved from afar. the boy whose house I drove by every single night, countless times, and yearned for him to love me too, thought he didn't even know I loved him so. Elton John would sing Your Song in the background. I would like to make love to a woman, just once, to see what I have been missing. Phoebe Snow would croon "something real" in the background while we went to never never land. I would want to make love, the sweetest love, to that one that is coming, I know he is there. Stephen bishop would sing "looking for the right one". mack - ----- Original Message ----- From: To: Sent: Friday, September 28, 2001 8:48 PM Subject: Re: Let us melt tempers....hot emotions...SEX (njc) > If, you could make love to anyone on planet earth > besides your significant other, who would that person be and what music > would you have playing > > ok. i would want to do it with a girl from my high school class and i'd want > to hear jethro tull in the background. i'd want to do it with a certain > lister while pj harvey played in the background. i'd want to do it with a > woman who used to come to church where i lived while gregorian chant played > in the back ground. i'd want to do it with another lister and hear bruce's > 4th of july, asbury park in the background. i'd want to do it with my one > rich neighbor in her tennis dress and hear her front lawn water sprinklers > going chechechechecheche...while the water sprinkes over top of us on her > front lawn. i'd want to do it with my wife's best friend on her back deck > while bach played in the background. i'd want to do it with a third lister > while steelydan played in the back ground. i'd want to do it with a fourth > lister while dave matthews played in the background. i've never wanted to do > it with joni, but i would like to do it with her creation named penelope > while beat of black wings played in the background. i'd want to do it with a > woman i used to work with while peter gabriel's in your eyes played in the > background. i'd want to do it with lister number one and four at the same > time while dave matthews and tim renyolds played in the background. i'd want > to do it with a woman priest i met while madonna played music in the > background, thought i'm still in denial about that one (hey mister dj, put a > record on...wanna dance with my baby). then, i'd want to do it with a woman > i don't know but used to see all the time in town while a street jazz band > played in the background. and that would be it. > pat > np. medly ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 02:59:43 +0100 From: "Jamie Zubairi" Subject: Re: In the background I was re-listening to Blue last night, it was very late, I should have been asleep long before this but I was in a dire need of listening to this. I never realised fully the backing vocal for Carey. The melodies are absolutely brilliant and so sweet! Especially the last "I'll put on my FINEST silver". Just makes you want to run up to her and give her a HUG y'know. I love listening to her own backing vocals, she's more experimental with them then when she brings people in, in my opinion. The harmonies and harmonic lines she composes, not your average 1-3-5, if you know what I mean. In Last Chance Lost (sorry Sue!), those 'last chance....LAAAAAST chance LOST's are quite brilliant. I know this message might have taken a while and I have been offline for a while, as we hadn't paid our phone bill (oh the joy of shared accommodation!) but I'm still here in London, watching the news, hoping that everyone is ok, getting the odd message from my ex in New York about how strange it is, and how sad it is, and how beautiful people are in New York, where she lives. I'm glad everyone is ok, (I've been sneak-reading my emails while online at work). - ----- Original Message ----- From: "William Waddell > I'm having an afternoon of self indulgence to self ... just before I leave > the beautiful US of A. Listening to a ton of ... > I love Joni's back harmonies. > From > Woodstock > To > Off Night Back Street > She does such a great back up for herself so oft. Favourite back up? ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 14:10:16 +1200 From: "hell" Subject: Re: In the background Willy (originally) wrote: > > I'm having an afternoon of self indulgence to self ... just before I leave > > the beautiful US of A. Listening to a ton of ... > > I love Joni's back harmonies. > > From > > Woodstock > > To > > Off Night Back Street > > She does such a great back up for herself so oft. Favourite back up? I must have missed this the first time round, shame on me! But I'm glad Jamie replied. My favourite (at the moment) is the harmony/counter on Night In The City. It's such a happy song. Of course Stills' bass is wonderful too. She must have said to him, "Just do whatever you want, and make it interesting." One of my favourite songs. Hell ____________________________ "To have great poets, there must be great audiences too." - Walt Whitman hell@ihug.co.nz Hell's Personal Photo Page: http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~hell/main/personal.htm Visit the NBLs (Natural Born Losers) at: http://www.nbls.co.nz ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 18:59:07 -0700 From: "Kate Bennett" Subject: Heather & Colin (s) njc Heather congratulations to you, your daughter & your grandson Colin Thomas Mahoney! And speaking of Colin...Colin from the UK, we miss you!!!!! ******************************************** Kate Bennett www.katebennett.com sponsored by Polysonics www.polysonics.com Discover the Indies at Taylor Guitars: http://www.taylorguitars.com/artists/awp/indies/bennett.html ******************************************** ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 22:06:23 -0400 From: Yael Harlap Subject: boring topics yay NJC Kate cracks me up. I was thinking about the mattress tags too. I always wondered what would happen if I pulled them off. I finally understand the whole illegal mattress label issue. And it made it not-quite-so-exciting to pull the labels off. Speaking of danger and mattresses, last night I decided to try and figure out why my bed frame kept wobbling dangerously every time I got on the bed. EVEN when it was just to LIE DOWN. Well, part of the bed frame had completely come apart. Why do they make those stupid things so that the left side and the right side so easily unhook? OK, about running with scissors, there is a series of t-shirts, black with white writing, that are sold at OOP in Providence, RI (THE best store in the WHOLE world: www.oopstuff.com), that say: "runs with scissors" and "plays well with others" etc. They are too funny. There was something else i wanted to say but I forgot it amidst all this unexciting information. hugs, Yael >Yay Mary! who suggested, "In this spirit, I hereby nominate the most boring >topics I can think of: 4. Product safety information - all those labels >with the really tiny print >that no one reads. I challenge you all to make these topics interesting." > >I choose to speak about topic 4. or maybe a tangent of this. I love pulling >off those mattress tags cuz its ILLEGAL. Speaking of danger, I also love >running with sissors (or wire clippers- hi Susan Guzzi who got my stoopid >joke at the jonifest). Also I am so glad that my car window dash shade >thingy has the warning on it "do not drive with this in place" because I am >sure I would forget to take it off before driving away (sarcastic >statement). ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 15:02:49 +1200 From: "hell" Subject: Re: boring topics yay NJC Yael wrote: > OK, about running with scissors, there is a series of t-shirts, black with > white writing, that are sold at OOP in Providence, RI (THE best store in > the WHOLE world: www.oopstuff.com), that say: "runs with scissors" and > "plays well with others" etc. They are too funny. There's an episode of Cheers I always think of when someone mentions running with scissors. They're talking to Frasier about how boring he is, and how he never takes risks. He picks up a pair of scissors and runs frantically around the bar, opening and closing them the whole time, saying "Look! I do so take risks. Look at me now - RUNNING WITH SCISSORS!" Cracks me up every time! Hell ____________________________ "To have great poets, there must be great audiences too." - Walt Whitman hell@ihug.co.nz Hell's Personal Photo Page: http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~hell/main/personal.htm Visit the NBLs (Natural Born Losers) at: http://www.nbls.co.nz ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 23:16:25 EDT From: Murphycopy@aol.com Subject: trouble on the JMDL site? Here's the message I get when I try to access the JMDL site. (A little boidy from Joisey told me.) I've never seen anything like this before: - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Error Occurred While Processing Request Error Diagnostic Information ODBC Error Code = IM002 (Data source not found and no default driver specified) [Microsoft][ODBC Driver Manager] Data source 'USERDATA' not found and no default driver specified Hint: In order to use ODBC data sources with Cold Fusion you must create the data source using the Data Sources page of the Cold Fusion Administrator. In addition, if you are running under Windows NT you must make sure that the Data Source is created as a System DSN in order for it to be available to ColdFusion. The error occurred while processing an element with a general identifier of (CFQUERY), occupying document position (1:1) to (1:51). Date/Time: 09/28/01 23:14:31 Browser: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 4.01; AOL 5.0; Mac_PPC) Remote Address: 205.188.209.12 - - ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 22:22:46 -0500 From: "Dolphie Bush" Subject: Re: trouble on the JMDL site? Yea, I got it too Murph. Mack - ----- Original Message ----- From: To: Sent: Friday, September 28, 2001 10:16 PM Subject: trouble on the JMDL site? > Here's the message I get when I try to access the JMDL site. (A little boidy > from Joisey told me.) I've never seen anything like this before: > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Error Occurred While Processing Request > > Error Diagnostic Information > > ODBC Error Code = IM002 (Data source not found and no default driver > specified) > [Microsoft][ODBC Driver Manager] Data source 'USERDATA' not found and no > default driver specified > Hint: In order to use ODBC data sources with Cold Fusion you must create the > data source using the Data Sources page of the Cold Fusion Administrator. In > addition, if you are running under Windows NT you must make sure that the > Data Source is created as a System DSN in order for it to be available to > ColdFusion. > The error occurred while processing an element with a general identifier of > (CFQUERY), occupying document position (1:1) to (1:51). > Date/Time: 09/28/01 23:14:31 > Browser: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 4.01; AOL 5.0; Mac_PPC) > Remote Address: 205.188.209.12 > > - ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 23:49:47 -0400 From: Bruyere Subject: Re: !!!!!!!!!!!!!! - NJC Thank you Bob .... you really know how to make a grandmother blush! At 11:39 PM 9/27/01 -0400, SCJoniGuy@aol.com wrote: >Congrats to all involved, Heather...you're still one of the sexiest Grannies >I know! :~) > >Bob ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 20:55:58 -0700 From: "Bree Mcdonough" Subject: Re: Let us melt tempers....hot emotions...SEX (njc) Good imagination! Would you "do it" all in a day? Bree >From: PMcfad@aol.com >Reply-To: PMcfad@aol.com >To: joni@smoe.org >Subject: Re: Let us melt tempers....hot emotions...SEX (njc) >Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 21:48:36 EDT > >If, you could make love to anyone on planet earth >besides your significant other, who would that person be and what music >would you have playing > >ok. i would want to do it with a girl from my high school class and i'd >want >to hear jethro tull in the background. i'd want to do it with a certain >lister while pj harvey played in the background. i'd want to do it with a >woman who used to come to church where i lived while gregorian chant played >in the back ground. i'd want to do it with another lister and hear bruce's >4th of july, asbury park in the background. i'd want to do it with my one >rich neighbor in her tennis dress and hear her front lawn water sprinklers >going chechechechecheche...while the water sprinkes over top of us on her >front lawn. i'd want to do it with my wife's best friend on her back deck >while bach played in the background. i'd want to do it with a third lister >while steelydan played in the back ground. i'd want to do it with a fourth >lister while dave matthews played in the background. i've never wanted to >do >it with joni, but i would like to do it with her creation named penelope >while beat of black wings played in the background. i'd want to do it with >a >woman i used to work with while peter gabriel's in your eyes played in the >background. i'd want to do it with lister number one and four at the same >time while dave matthews and tim renyolds played in the background. i'd >want >to do it with a woman priest i met while madonna played music in the >background, thought i'm still in denial about that one (hey mister dj, put >a >record on...wanna dance with my baby). then, i'd want to do it with a >woman >i don't know but used to see all the time in town while a street jazz band >played in the background. and that would be it. >pat >np. medly _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 23:57:35 EDT From: RobSher50@aol.com Subject: A question of "Kleins" (jc) Hi everyone, I was watching a special (probably "Behind the Music") and there was a man talking who was identified as Bob (?) Klein, president of Reprise records. To me, he looked a lot liked Larry Klein. This one is for you music industry insiders. Could this man possibly be related to Larry Klein, Joni's ex? (Do you think he'd give me a record deal? ha-ha!) Does anybody have the inside scoop as to whether he is a relative of Larry's? Sherelle ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 21:25:58 -0700 From: Leslie Mixon Subject: State of the JMDL & Paradox of Our Time (LONG) "...Sometimes it's easy You drift with the empty gladness Like it all belongs Sometimes it's low down sadness Like it's all gone so wrong When I saw you standing there I said to myself M-m-m here's a place I could break down and care..." Lately it appears that the list is "breaking down..." Please allow me to post a quote from George Carlin: The Paradox of Our Time by George Carlin The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life, we've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men and small character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say "I Love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to Love, give time to speak, give time to share the precious Thoughts in your mind. To all my friends in my life, thanks for being there! Leslie Mixon ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 00:24:12 EDT From: RobSher50@aol.com Subject: Re: Boring topics/Star Trek (njc)wait-(sjc) Dear Mary, My husband and I are Star Trek fans and we are also fond of The Next Generation. By the way, it is scheduled to begin re-airing on TNN next week. I never thought about it but, yes, Deanna Troi did have that tendency. I even woke my husband up to ask his opinion and he agreed! If Joni were to write or star in a Star Trek episode, I think it would be one of two scenarios. One of them would be a situation where she would be in a struggle to conform to the way of life on her particular planet. She would meet someone like Riker from the Enterprise, fall in love with him, and throw herself into a conflict of cultures. She'd then see through Riker and write a song of unrequited love about him. (..."Thinking of the pleasures I'm going to have, watching your hairline recede, my vain darling...") The other scenario would be one that would entail the realization of who we are in comparison to the universe. (..We're only particles of change, I know, I know..orbiting around the sun/ "We're stardust...We're golden...") It would be similar to the episodes with "Q." She'd probably be discovered by Q, who would immediately be attracted by her wit and intelligence. He would want to take her to the Continuum and change her into a Q like himself. As appealing as this would be to her to see and know everything, she decides that the part of her that makes her who she is her ability not to know what lies around the corner and the ability to be able to make mistakes. Then she would go write a song about Q and his arrogance of being omnipotent. ( "You've had lots of lovely women, now you turn your gaze to me...weighing the beauty and the imperfection to see if I'm worthy..") This is fun! (First one to name the titles of the four song is "it"!) Sherelle In a message dated 09/28/2001 3:25:09 PM Pacific Daylight Time, les@jmdl.com writes: > As for stating the obvious, is anyone here a Star Trek fan? I used to love > the Next Generation. Didn't Deanna Troi always state the obvious? Drove > me crazy! > > If Joni wrote/starred in a Star Trek episode, what would it be like? any > ideas? > > Mary ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 21:08:17 -0700 From: "Kate Bennett" Subject: Subject: Re: dryer lint (NJC) OMG, the memories. Yes white noise....we used to put my son in his baby seat under the stove fan so that he would be calm so we could eat a peaceful dinner...or sometimes in the middle of night or was it early morning...put him in the carseat & drive drive drive til he finally went to sleep...what is that about? >>>>If you've got a baby who won't go to sleep and keeps on crying from teething or what ever stick them on top of the dryer. The little monster will be asleep in no time.<<<< ******************************************** Kate Bennett www.katebennett.com sponsored by Polysonics www.polysonics.com Discover the Indies at Taylor Guitars: http://www.taylorguitars.com/artists/awp/indies/bennett.html ******************************************** ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 21:08:54 -0700 From: "Kate Bennett" Subject: Jimi njc >>>Thanks for the 2 concert impressions of Jimi that were posted. What I'd really like to know is: did you FEEL a special vibe/energy or was it just another great rock concert?<<< I felt that he was the most extraordinary & unique guitar player I had ever seen/heard. I wish knowing what I know now, that I could go back & attend those 2 concerts again...Definately not just another great rock concert. He was royalty. ******************************************** Kate Bennett www.katebennett.com sponsored by Polysonics www.polysonics.com Discover the Indies at Taylor Guitars: http://www.taylorguitars.com/artists/awp/indies/bennett.html ******************************************** ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 00:27:56 EDT From: RobSher50@aol.com Subject: To Anne Dear Anne, To me, you still are a walking miracle. You have taught me what it means to truly "live." You have shown tremendous bravery and courage and you have done so with a pleasant heart. Everyday that you are here is a blessing to us. So keep fighting and know that we are all so grateful to know you and to be a part of your life. Keep fighting and lean on us. We love you. Sherelle ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 00:31:33 EDT From: RobSher50@aol.com Subject: Re: boring topics/Star Trek NJC Dear Julius, This is great! I especially like the part about her being half human and half Vulcan. I also like that Spock has an interest in her. It's very "logical." Sherelle In a message dated 09/28/2001 3:25:09 PM Pacific Daylight Time, les@jmdl.com writes: > Joni would be a guest-star, playing the part of a Starfleet Command adviser > traveling with the Enterprise on this mission. Let's go ahead and make her > half Volcan with the ears and everthing, but she'd lean more to her human, > artistic side, whereas Spock favors his logical Volcan half. > > Joni would start by being beamed from the Enterprise to the palace in the > sky above the planet with Kirk, Spock and "Bones". They would be wined and > dined by the leaders of the elite people above the clouds...this is all > before they become aware of the awful plight of the people down below. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 01:02:36 EDT From: Kammass@aol.com Subject: Re: Boring topics/Star Trek (njc)wait-(sjc) i think joni would have fit in well on the episodes when Data is struggling with his emotions. she would be a good candidate to fulfill him emotional. though her words, painting, music, her person ... just her overall. kammy in alabammy ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 23:15:30 -0600 From: "shane mattison" Subject: other starry nights "don't it always seem to go" would sound at the end of the transporter room joystick... "we are stardust, we are golden" would play in the next generation bar... ryker a big joni fan getting drunk and wishing... dr crusher would worry with ryker always in the virtual reality jazz joint, playing his sax with jaco and herbie and pat and lyle and... course he'd be dancing with a virtual joni when the real joni walks in! then he'd blush...blush...blush... and bones mccoy would say "dammit jim, i'm not a magician...just an old joni fan!" "i'm your off-night backstreet" would sultrily play as kirk zips up his boot ... 'course all these guys would be in love with joni... half the gals too... but joni would only be in love with one guy....spock! "fascinating", he would say...."but its not very logical" and she would set up her music in his quarters and, turning on all her charm, including "a case of you" and see how emotional and illogical she got him! and painting the great globs of nebula clusters sending the Enterprise into warp drive.... and beaming down to paris with picard, sampling puilly fuisse and french bread in their berets... getting ready for the evenings' vulcan mind-meld' when spock can't stand her absence anymore... "paint a starry night again, man..." shane ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 01:04:55 EDT From: Kammass@aol.com Subject: bob, star trek, and joni (sjc) ok bob how about tar trek and joni? kammy in alabammy ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 01:08:22 EDT From: Kammass@aol.com Subject: Re: bob, star trek, and joni (sjc) Star Trek...oops kammy ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2001 23:50:49 -0600 From: evian Subject: Let us melt tempers....hot emotions...SEX (njc) > If, you could make love to anyone on planet earth > besides your significant other, who would that person be and what music > would you have playing? > Oh come on, that's so easy -- either Zza Zza Gabor, Bea Arthur (sorry Jimmy, she's mine), or Bonnie Franklin (perhaps with some Herve Villecheze or whatever the hell his name is thrown in for some added fun). The music that would be playing would definitely have to be the Beastie Boys Licensed To Ill. Happy Weekend y'all, Evian ------------------------------ End of JMDL Digest V2001 #450 ***************************** ------- Post messages to the list by clicking here: mailto:joni@smoe.org Unsubscribe by clicking here: mailto:joni-digest-request@smoe.org?body=unsubscribe ------- Siquomb, isn't she?