From: les@jmdl.com (JMDL Digest) To: joni-digest@smoe.org Subject: JMDL Digest V2001 #151 Reply-To: joni@smoe.org Sender: les@jmdl.com Errors-To: les@jmdl.com Precedence: bulk Unsubscribe: mailto:joni-digest-request@smoe.org?body=unsubscribe Archives: http://www.smoe.org/lists/joni Websites: http://www.jmdl.com http://www.jonimitchell.com JMDL Digest Wednesday, March 28 2001 Volume 2001 : Number 151 The 'Official' Joni Mitchell Homepage, created by Wally Breese, can be found at http://www.jonimitchell.com. It contains the latest news, a detailed bio, Original Interviews, essays, lyrics and much much more. The JMDL website can be found at http://www.jmdl.com and contains interviews, articles, the member gallery, archives, and much more. Information on the 4th "Annual" New England JoniFest: http://www.jmdl.com/jfne2001.cfm The Joni Chat Room: http://www.jmdl.com/chat.cfm ========== TOPICS and authors in this Digest: -------- from comedy central (NJC) [jan gyn ] Re: Even More Urgent [catman ] Re: more pissed offNJC [catman ] Re: JMDL Digest V2001 #144 [catman ] Re: from comedy central (NJC) [catman ] Re: Bjooooork... NJC [Vince Lavieri ] Re: more pissed offNJC [catman ] POSITIVE! ["Harp@louislynch.com" ] Re: Bjooooork... NJC [SCJoniGuy@aol.com] Wally Breese [Vince Lavieri ] Re: Wally Breese [MGVal@aol.com] DVD-Audio version of BSN ["Jim L'Hommedieu" ] Re: clotted cream on strumpets NJC [Catherine McKay ] Re: Synchronicity~ Get Together (NJC) [Catherine McKay ] wit NJC [Alison E ] Re: wit NJC [RoseMJoy@aol.com] RE: Partir, c'est mourir un peu ["Brett Code" ] Re: wit NJC ["Harp@louislynch.com" ] Re: wit NJC ["Harp@louislynch.com" ] sugarcubes njc [evian ] Bjork njc [evian ] more pissed offNJC [evian ] RE: Bjork njc ["Wally Kairuz" ] Re: wit NJC ["hell" ] Re: more pissed off NJC ["hell" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 16:12:10 -0800 From: jan gyn Subject: from comedy central (NJC) HOW TO WEATHER THE RECESSION By Aaron Stoker-Ring *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* With the stock market in a free fall and the US economy slowing down, recession looms large. Here are some tips to help you weather lean year ahead. 1. Always wear an interview suit. In a tough job market, you have to look sharp under your resume sandwich board. 2. Read yesterday's newspaper. News doesn't change that much from day to day, and you can use that extra fifty cents to buy a can of cat food for lunch. 3. Avoid the tumultuous stock market by selling your stocks on e-bay. 4. Don't limit brunch to Sunday. Eat it every day and cut your meal costs by a third. Plus, the champagne will make Rosie seem watchable. 5. If you have pets, stop washing your dishes. The vermin attracted by a month's worth of dirty dishes spells free food for the cat. 6. Buy direct from sweatshops. You'll never pay retail for your Gap, Nike, or Kathy Lee products again! 7. Move to California. Rolling blackouts will force you not to use George Foreman's Lean Mean Grilling Machine. 8. Instead of buying a new spring wardrobe, take up smoking. You'll think you look cool no matter what you're wearing. 9. Switch from cocaine to crack. At five dollars a hit you'll save so much you'll be able to retire early. 10. Guys, don't break up with your girlfriends. Getting a new one costs a fortune. 11. Girls, break up with your boyfriends at once. Even Susan Faludi would admit that dating is a great source of free food and drink. 12. Why buy a car when you can take a new one for a test drive every day? 13. Instead of going out to eat, invite friends over for an intimate dinner party. Then rob them, whack them with a sap, and leave them dazed in a field outside of town. 14. Spice up plain ramen noodles with flavorful Hamburger Helper noodles. 15. A soup kitchen is a great place to bring a date. Dress to the nines and say it's a hip new "theme" restaurant. 16. Need a doctor but don't have insurance? Hospital shows always need extras. Have that goiter examined by Anthony Edwards. 17. Instead of having your own kids, take in foster children. They do chores as well as anyone, and you don't have to send them to college. 18. Truckers, replace your orangutan with a smaller spider monkey. 19. Rent office space in Harlem. 20. Hire women instead of men. Statistics show that you don't have to pay them as much, but you get equal and often superior work. 21. OPEC is expected to raise prices. Use as much fuel as you possibly can while prices are still low. 22. Drag Queens, impersonate less flamboyant stars like Kathy Bates and Janeane Garofalo. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 01:25:24 +0100 From: catman Subject: Re: Even More Urgent Get a packet of cigarettes, light afew, get a set oif flase buck teeth, a long bloned wig and walk with your nose in the air. Emilia Bedelia wrote: > Hello again! I'm very thankful for all of the information you all have given me! I still have a question or two for you though. Since I have to dress up and actually be Joni on Friday i was wondering if anyone has any advice or tips on how i should talk, carry myself, ect. Any tips or advice will be extremely helpful to me!!!!!!! Thanks in advance!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > Yahoo! Mail Personal Address - Get email at your own domain with Yahoo! Mail. - -- bw colin colin@tantra.fsbusiness.co.uk http://www.geocities.com/tantra_apso/index.html ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 01:26:43 +0100 From: catman Subject: Re: more pissed offNJC I understood there afew dogs on this list already! meow "Harp@louislynch.com" wrote: > To Kate, Colin, and all your miscellaneous pets: > > Is this list going to the dogs or what? > > Regards, > John > > aka Humpin' Johnny > > (Official Shetland Sheepdog of the Harper Lou Household) - -- bw colin colin@tantra.fsbusiness.co.uk http://www.geocities.com/tantra_apso/index.html ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 01:30:03 +0100 From: catman Subject: Re: JMDL Digest V2001 #144 "Sally A. Bowers" wrote: > I sure hope I did not send the whole Digest, if I did, I am sorry. Please, I am getting my new Gatway on Friday, and this will never happen again from me...ever! Who was it that "Rondstadt" had a come back along with Bo > JMDL Digest wrote: You did but don't worry about it. Sally A. Bowers has a familiar ring to it. Is this a pseudonym and borrowed from somene famous? Is it the girl from cabaret? It ceratinly seems familiar. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 01:32:04 +0100 From: catman Subject: Re: from comedy central (NJC) > 5. If you have pets, stop washing your dishes. The dogs wash all my dishes. i hate washing up! In fact i hate house work so don't do any. We have a lady that does, do for us once a fortnight. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 18:02:49 -0500 From: Vince Lavieri Subject: Re: Bjooooork... NJC Interesting that PETA hasn't commented on Bjork's dress. That was a joke. Very lame. But so was Bjork's swan. (the Rev) Vince, wondering if every member of the JMDL should be dressed in a loon outfit ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 01:35:43 +0100 From: catman Subject: Re: more pissed offNJC Kate Bennett wrote: > You are SO lucky. I used to be able to sleep on the bed once in awhile when > I was small & cute That was before that guy moved in. In this house butler no 2 knows his place -behind butler no 1 and us. > Now I can't even sleep > in the room anymore! Bite him! > But I climb up on the the leather couch when they all > go to bed. we don't have leather couches. Ours are comfy. they have special throws on them just for us. My favoutie place is with Phoebe on the back of the settee. martha ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 21:00:16 -0500 From: "Harp@louislynch.com" Subject: POSITIVE! Hello all. Someone sent me this link today. For a true inspiration, go to: http://www.webspirations.net/memo Hope you all appreciate receiving it as much as I did. Love, Harper Lou ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 21:44:45 EST From: SCJoniGuy@aol.com Subject: Re: Bjooooork... NJC << But so was Bjork's swan.>> Dude, it was her SWAN SONG! :~) <<(the Rev) Vince, wondering if every member of the JMDL should be dressed in a loon outfit >> And The Loons do a cover of Urge For Going! Don't have it yet, but it's readily available! I did buy a CD today from a Hungarian band...the language barrier was a bit tricky, but when I mentioned "Chelsea Morning", they knew exactly what I wanted. Joni conquers yet another Borderline! ;~) Bob NP: DMB, "Mother Father" ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 22:05:27 -0500 From: Vince Lavieri Subject: Wally Breese Thinking about Wally Breese tonight. We lost a great friend when we lost Wally. We had no choice in that matter; health issues prevented us from having a choice in losing Wally. It took death for Wally to leave us. Jim Johansen is doing everything possible to carry on Wally's legacy. And then there is Les Irvin, who has put his life and heart and soul into this. I weigh: my being miffed, or my being angry, or my being disappointed with things for a period of time, a relatively brief but intense period of time for some people, versus the years of community, friendship, celebrations, fests, and Wally and Jim and Les. No matter what troubles occasionally plague us, and they have in the past, and then they were were over, this too is a temporary state of unsettlement and I renew my commitment to being a part of this community of Joni Mitchel fans. Whatever temporary rough times we have, we shall get through them, and be the better for it, for adversity is a part of life, not an enemy of life, and when we make our way through adversity, we are only the stronger for it. The JMDL will be the stronger and better for all things that we have endured, and our joys and good times will be greater than ever for we will have grown. With thanks to Wally B, Jim J., and Les, I remain (the Rev) Vince, NPIMH: I get by with a little help from my friends. I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 21:54:36 EST From: MGVal@aol.com Subject: Re: Wally Breese In a message dated 03/27/2001 6:53:25 PM Pacific Standard Time, revrvl@pathwaynet.com writes: << The JMDL will be the stronger and better for all things that we have endured, and our joys and good times will be greater than ever for we will have grown. >> Wow! A lot of eloquent posts have sprouted over the departure crisis, but this one tops them all. Wonderful and lovely. MG ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 22:26:58 -0500 From: "Jim L'Hommedieu" Subject: DVD-Audio version of BSN Woo hoo! Jerry Notaro said, > I just checked Warner Bros. It is the DVD Audio Disc. Not available until April > 10th. The boys at Stereophile loved it. They really like "live" recordings and said that this one is almost that. If memory serves, Joni, Herbie, and Peter Erskine were in booths but the orchestra was miked as a whole. The only gripe they had was about the digital silence between tracks instead of room ambience. (Whaaa! I can't even hear room ambience in my room.) Anyway, do Warner/Reprise DVD-Audio discs have 96/24 tracks that play on a DVD-Video machine (a DVD movie player to civilians)? Lama ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 22:28:40 -0500 (EST) From: Catherine McKay Subject: Re: clotted cream on strumpets NJC - --- Wally Kairuz wrote: > looking at the synonyms for bimbo, i found the word > ''strumpet'', one of my > favorite words in english!!! > a few years ago, traveling in the us, i wanted to > order crumpets for tea. i > went to the counter and said, ''give me two really > plump strumpets, the kind > you fill in with clotted cream''. oh lord! > wallyK, np: mary poppins soundtrack Wally, you are one sick puppy - and you make me laugh! Get your free @yahoo.ca address at http://mail.yahoo.ca ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 22:28:09 -0500 From: "Jim L'Hommedieu" Subject: Eminem is the villain, NJC Jerry said, > Nice try, Louis. > A search of the dictionaries shows: > Cambridge Dictionary of American English: > bimbo noun [C] SLANG > a young woman considered attractive but stupid > This word is offensive. Jerry, This is interesting but, with all due respect, it's a moot point. No one called Julia Roberts a bimbo. Where was all this indignation about misogyny when we were discussing Eminem? I felt like the only one railing against his hateful, graphic lyrics. He doesn't just call women 'bimbos', but he fantasies about torture and death for women and gays. I mean, let's not demonize one of our own when the demon isn't even in the room! The way I remember the Eminem thread, Michael Y. said that Eminem was merely holding up a mirror to our violent, hateful society. Then everyone shrugged and turned away. My two cents. And I'm not blaming. I'm discussing which is why I joined a Discussion List. Lama ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 22:31:03 -0500 (EST) From: Catherine McKay Subject: Re: Synchronicity~ Get Together (NJC) - --- SCJoniGuy@aol.com wrote: > Nikki, the older you get the less you will > believe in coincidence... > That's true - there will be no coincidence, just a heckuvalotta deja vu! Get your free @yahoo.ca address at http://mail.yahoo.ca ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 23:00:02 -0500 From: "Jim L'Hommedieu" Subject: Paprika Plains, njc Bruce said, > How does one hear unreleased versions of JM songs? > Bruce > NP: Silence ****** Oh Bruce! Poor Bruce! You are about to fall into a pit of Joni Fanaticism the depths of which you have no idea at present. I'm making available a 120 minute cassette of the 2000 Both Sides Now tour stop at The Theatre at Madison Square Garden if you swear that you own BSN. This tape was made by a JMDLer on a portable _digital_ tape recorder and a pair of _very_ expensive microphones...... Just send me an email, off list and I'll give you my po box address. Then, you send a 120 minute cassette with return postage. I'll tape it for ya with my Nakamichi cassette deck. (Hail Simon. Your work continues to inspire.... or is it corrupt??) :) Lama ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 20:31:48 -0800 (PST) From: Alison E Subject: wit NJC while we are on the subject of actors... i watched "wit" on hbo tonight, a film adaptation of the stage play. it was a successful play, i don't know who else has here might have seen it. well let me tell you, if you want to know what an actor really is... it's emma thompson. holy shitzky, batman, i couldn't stop crying to save my makeup. in all seriousness, this was the most moving, most poignant, most powerful film i have seen since i can't remember when. if you have hbo, watch it. it is simply one of the best things i have ever seen. emma thompson's performance was EASILY superior to any woman nominated for an oscar this year, with all due respect to ellen burstyn. julia roberts has faint dreams and visions with the help of peyote of being able to act like that. i like her and all, she's real sweet and stuff...but lets not kid ourselves. emma's the real deal. i hope i get to see this play live one day. alison e. in nyc please note: nowhere in this post did i call the future ms. bratt a bimbo, a tramp or a strumpet (love that word, wally, love it!). the above mentioned peyote use is also merely alleged. np: shawn colvin "whole new you" run, don't walk, to get this album... Get email at your own domain with Yahoo! Mail. http://personal.mail.yahoo.com/?.refer=text ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 23:45:30 EST From: RoseMJoy@aol.com Subject: Re: wit NJC I saw it Alison and well at the end both my husband and I were balling our eyes out. rosemjoy@aol.com ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 21:48:57 -0700 From: "Brett Code" Subject: RE: Partir, c'est mourir un peu Je suis tout a fait d'accord. I miss her already. Can it be? Come back, Kakki! Come Back! Les, can't you make her come back? Thanks, John, for this beautiful post Brett - -----Original Message----- From: owner-joni@jmdl.com [mailto:owner-joni@jmdl.com]On Behalf Of John van Tiel Sent: Monday, March 26, 2001 11:55 PM To: joni@smoe.org Cc: Ashara@aol.com; Kakki Subject: Partir, c'est mourir un peu Early morning in Holland ... sun rising over the sea. Seven digests still unread. I start with the first one, thinking "I hope there won't be too much bickering". Then: Kakki has decided to leave the list. First thought: this cannot be true, this cannot be true. More posts ... 'Kakki, please return', 'Let's take a deep breath and ...', 'Please be tolerant'. Kakki's decision brings out the eloquence in many. I think again: Kakki? The very person who knows that fine line between eloquence and loquaciousness, always opting for the first one. The person whose posts have always been the nucleus of the list for me personally. One of the persons for whom I crossed the Atlantic Ocean a few times (yes, Kakki, just to meet you (again)) ... the one with whom I sang "Here, There and Everywhere" to the sounds of crickets and chiggers gnawing at her legs late at night on Ashara's porch ... the woman with the intelligent eyes that light up with laughter and happiness every 3.4 seconds ... never without a Martini glass in her hand, but never drinking too much either (see, that's another thing you still need to teach me) ... the woman I admire for her guts and her energy ... who DOES look cool when she smokes (BTW, I will not respond to any comments on this remark ;-) ) ... Kakki, who sends me pictures and music that I treasure ... the woman who epitomizes the Irish spirit I love so much ... the one who & whom etc. etc. etc. Kakki, you simply canNOT leave this list. Listen to your Dutch Uncle: you simply canNOT leave this list ! And then Ashara: "move over Kakki...". Ashara ... please?! What IS going on here ??? Geez. I have been on this list almost from the very start. So have Kakki and Ashara. I lurk ('stand in the wings'), they don't. I share off-list. They share off-list AND on-list. Perhaps I have a right to speak for the long-term lurkers: The JMDL is so great because you and Ashara and Marcel and Bob and Paz and Hell and Patrick and Catherine (plural) and Jerry and Harper-Lou and Colin and Penny and Vince and Leslie and Mark and Jim and Steve and Mary-Grace and Wally and Kate and Mags and Brett and Alison and Jan and Lory and Marian and Ric and Robert and Paul and Heather and Victor and Garret and Lahm and Randy and Rose and Steve and Barbara and many many many others do not lurk. You share. You have the guts to share in a public forum. Believe me, it takes guts. Ask the average lurker (off-list). Kakki, "Lazarus" is the Dutch word for stone drunk. I'd rather you do the biblical bit. Have a Martini and rise. >>From the coast of Holland, John NP. Mathilde Santing: Here, There and Everywhere ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 00:20:49 -0500 From: "Harp@louislynch.com" Subject: Re: wit NJC Alison, Emma Thompson rules -- agreed! But, more importantly, you're a GENIUS! > please note: nowhere in this post did i call the > future ms. bratt a bimbo, a tramp or a strumpet (love > that word, wally, love it!). the above mentioned > peyote use is also merely alleged. That's all we need to make everything perfect! Disclaimers!!!! Like at McDonald's, where the coffee lid says, "Caution: Contents Are Very Hot. Do Not Spill On Your Lap And Sue Us For 1.5 Million Dollars." The disclaimers sure will come in handy for those of us who joke around. I'll try to remember to put one on every post. Marcel might need two or three per paragraph. Don Rowe will definitely need one disclaimer for every single identity he has assumed. Colin and Kate, well, they can go on the family plan and get a discount for their animals... Regards, Harper Lou PLEASE NOTE: The above mentions of fellow listers were meant as humorous remarks. The use of the word "fellow" in the previous sentence was not intended to exclude females, promote sexism, or further perpetuate patriarchal dominance. The author is not responsible for any comparisons or similarities perceived with actual personality traits of any persons, living or dead. The author releases from liability Joni Mitchell, all her creative product, and any influence she may have had on said author's artistic temperament or tendency to continually attempt to achieve poetic just-ice regarding written human communication. The author is not responsible for the miscontrued meaning of any word in this post as a result of geographic, cultural, demographic or sociological differences in language usage. The author also apologizes for the recent spate of frequent posts and occasional verbose tirades -- it's the Wellbutrin. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 00:24:15 -0500 From: "Harp@louislynch.com" Subject: Re: wit NJC Rose said of the Emma Thompson film, > I saw it Alison and well at the end both my husband and I were balling our > eyes out. I'm LOL. What a great typo!!! Perhaps you meant "bawling" your eyes out. If you and your husband were truly "balling" your eyes out, I'm impressed. I always thought Emma Thompson was a great actress, but I never found her that inspiring sexually. Harper Lou PLEASE NOTE: Totally joking! ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 23:23:46 -0600 From: evian Subject: sugarcubes njc Alison, who has good taste, wrote: > i actually really like bjork, loved the sugarcubes > Oh man, I absolutely loved the Sugarcubes! Well, I still do -- The lyrics are so bizarre, because of the translation (or whatever). I have been hooked ever since I heard her growl "This is hot meat/this is metallic blood/this is hooooooot mmmmmmmmmmeeeeeat". Still gives me shivers when she growls that line. And who can resist the "heee-hoooe" in "Delicious Demon"? Evian ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 23:26:04 -0600 From: evian Subject: Bjork njc Wally wrote: > bjork is god. > But Wally, Bjork claims that "Deus does not exist" ;) ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 23:36:18 -0600 From: evian Subject: more pissed offNJC Hey dogs and cats, it's Daisy and Molly here, Evian's dog and cat. Can't chat long, because we both have a long day planned of sitting in the window barking at everyone who comes within 4000 feet of the house, followed by breaking into the cupboard and stealing the cat treats, perhaps breaking into the garbage (smells like there might be some sort of old meat, rotten fruit, and tea bags in there so we can't resist), and top of the day by stealing the people's underwear from the laundry room and destroying it. Hmmm, maybe we should both plan to go into heat again right away, since the stupid bastards are too lazy to get us fixed - -- Bob Barker, come save us......... Woof and Meow y'all ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 03:28:59 -0300 From: "Wally Kairuz" Subject: RE: Bjork njc it's only because bjork's very modest. wallyK, np: bjork: gling-gls - -----Mensaje original----- De: owner-joni@jmdl.com [mailto:owner-joni@jmdl.com]En nombre de evian Enviado el: Miircoles, 28 de Marzo de 2001 02:26 a.m. Para: joni@smoe.org Asunto: Bjork njc Wally wrote: > bjork is god. > But Wally, Bjork claims that "Deus does not exist" ;) ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 18:51:31 +1200 From: "hell" Subject: Re: wit NJC Alison wrote: > i watched "wit" on hbo tonight, a film adaptation of > the stage play. it was a successful play, i don't know > who else has here might have seen it. well let me tell > you, if you want to know what an actor really is... > it's emma thompson. holy shitzky, batman, i couldn't > stop crying to save my makeup. Totally agree - Emma Thompson is brilliant. Comedy, drama, it doesn't matter, she's great in everything I've ever seen! Hell ____________________________ "To have great poets, there must be great audiences too." - Walt Whitman hell@ihug.co.nz Visit the NBLs (Natural Born Losers) at: http://www.nbls.co.nz ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2001 18:57:09 +1200 From: "hell" Subject: Re: more pissed off NJC OK, you guys have no idea how hard I have to work. My "mother" (she likes to call herself that, but we all know who is really in charge) won't let me do ANYTHING good. She won't let me climb on the table when she's having dinner, and she doesn't even like me sleeping on her when she's lazing around, watching TV - she doesn't like me holding on with my claws, for some reason, or stomping her stomach just after she's eaten to make it more comfy. But I've discovered a few tricks which might help you guys out. 1. Don't sharpen your calls on anything hard - find the softest material you can. I use the lawn outside. This keeps them nice and long, and very sharp, while giving the impression that I'm filing them down. 2. When she's on the computer and you want to be fed, sit on the desk, between her and the keyboard. This makes it hard for her to type, and eventually she'll cave in and produce the food. Sitting on the hand that works the mouse-thing works really well too. This also works for any other activity. Just get yourself between her and whatever she's doing. Sitting directly in her line of sight when she's watching TV is pretty effective. 3. When she's eating chicken (I've developed my sense of smell, so I can usually smell it cooking from miles away), sit next to her, and gaze adoringly straight into her eyes. Works like a charm every time, and you'll get lots of scraps. 4. To keep her on her toes, develop a sudden attack of frenzy, and launch yourself at her for no apparent reason. I find a really good time, is when she's turned off the light to go to sleep. Sometimes she forgets to put her arms under the covers, and I can get a really good hold with teeth and claws. Occasionally she'll be quick enough to get in a quick slap on my rear end, but I usually manage to make my escape without punishment. Then I come back about 5 minutes later and act cute. You know, head-butting her to get under the covers, or purring loudly in her ear. She'll forget all about the previous attack - until the next time! 5. To get her out of bed on a cold Sunday morning, sit on the dressing table, and slowly flick everything off with one paw. I usually start with one small item, then stare at her menacingly. If she doesn't move within a couple of minutes, something else gets flicked onto the floor. Sometimes (on VERY cold days) this method will require you to remove everything from every available surface, after which you'll need to resort to No. 4 above. But usually once you've destroyed something breakable and/or valuable, she'll move her lazy butt and you'll get fed. Hope this helps you guys out, and remember, cats are made to be worshipped, unlike their owners, who are only here to serve us. Sam P.S. She was VERY slow at feeding me tonight, so I had to try to scratch the enamel off the fridge door, then claw my way through the net curtains in the lounge - that got her moving. ____________________________ "To have great poets, there must be great audiences too." - Walt Whitman hell@ihug.co.nz Visit the NBLs (Natural Born Losers) at: http://www.nbls.co.nz ------------------------------ End of JMDL Digest V2001 #151 ***************************** ------- Post messages to the list by clicking here: mailto:joni@smoe.org Unsubscribe by clicking here: mailto:joni-digest-request@smoe.org?body=unsubscribe ------- Siquomb, isn't she?