From: les@jmdl.com (JMDL Digest) To: joni-digest@smoe.org Subject: JMDL Digest V4 #576 Reply-To: joni@smoe.org Sender: les@jmdl.com Errors-To: les@jmdl.com Precedence: bulk JMDL Digest Saturday, December 25 1999 Volume 04 : Number 576 The Official Joni Mitchell Homepage is maintained by Wally Breese at http://www.jonimitchell.com and contains the latest news, a detailed bio, original interviews and essays, lyrics, and much more. ------- The JMDL website can be found at http://www.jmdl.com and contains interviews, articles, the member gallery, archives, and much more. ========== TOPICS and authors in this Digest: -------- cat problems (complete NJC) [evian ] Re: onlyJMDL Digest V1 #307 [Kleronomos@aol.com] Happy Holidays to Joni and her jmdle family!! [KCooper984@aol.com] Barbie & Ken's letter to Santa (NJC) very njc [FMYFL@aol.com] Re: Barbie & Ken's letter to Santa (NJC) very njc [SCJoniGuy@aol.com] Re: Millennium Countdown #9 [FMYFL@aol.com] Millennium Countdown #8 [zapuppy2@webtv.net (Penny)] Merry Christmas [zapuppy2@webtv.net (Penny)] christmas songs [Bounced Message ] Season's Greetings [Bounced Message ] Re: Millennium Countdown #8 [SCJoniGuy@aol.com] De Duva (NJC) [Steve Dulson ] Joni Interview tape tree update ["Kakki" ] Merry Christmas NJC [FMYFL@aol.com] NJC [catman ] Religious imagery in Joni's songs [Relayer211@aol.com] I bought the Joni Mitchell Companion today! [Relayer211@aol.com] Politically Correct Christmas [MDESTE1@aol.com] Re: Religious imagery in Joni's songs ["Jennifer L. Nodine" ] depression doesn't get any better than this ["Jennifer L. Nodine" Subject: cat problems (complete NJC) Hi Listers, Sorry once again for using the list for stupid stuff, but since my computer was in the shop, I lost most of my addy book and can't find Catgirl's and Colin's email addresses.... On Monday, I was shopping, and in the Walmart parking lot, when it was 20-something below PLUS a nasty windchill, I found a kitten who was freezing. So, we took her home so she wouldn't freeze or get killed, thinking she was someone's since she stunk like cheap perfume and smoke. I have called the SPCA everyday, and placed ads on the local radio station, and still no one says they lost a kitten, so I am assuming someone dumped her off in the parking lot. Anyway, every day my wife comes home and says "Should we take her to the SPCA now" and I have been making up excuses since I am getting so attached. Anyway, I might have a home for her, but if not, I will have to finally take her in if we don't find a place for her next week... she's so nice, but hates my dog and cat, and we are babysitting someone's puppy for the holidays, and it's a zoo in here. Also, my cat is all out of sorts, and since she's my baby, it's too stressful. ANYWAY, to make a long story longer, even though I bought a litterbox for this cat, her and my cat are doing this litterbox war and are "marking territory" in the new box every 2 minutes. But, the kitten decided to claim my Ficus (the nice one upstairs, not the dead looking one down here), and so I've caught her peeing in there twice and someone also left a nice little mess in there tonight... So, catpeople, any ideas how to nip this "plant as toilet" thing in the bud, since it looks like I'll sweet talk my wife into letting me keep the kitty until after the weekend? I am getting sick of standing guard at the planter! Is there anything I can put in the planter to keep the kitty away without killing the plant? LOL, if the Joni Content people could see this, they would be really freaking out! God, why do I have to be such a marshmallow.... I just hate the thought of letting this cat go to the pound.... Anyway, if someone knows how to save my plant from being a latrine, please email me off-list. Hope everyone is all ready for the holidays! Have a great week Listers... you are all such a great bunch of people! I am so glad I found this list; it's a special place, and you all mean a lot to me. All the best, y'all! Evian np: ABBA -- Gotta make an ABBA tape for my father for Christmas.... and Let me tell you..... after 17 songs, I reeeeaaaallly want to poke my eyeballs out... I never realized how annoying "SUUUU-PPPP-EEERRR TROOOOO-PPPPP-EEERRRR" is....ABBA at 2 am, when you have to be up in 6 hours, is NOT the way to spend the xmas season..... ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 06:25:04 EST From: Kleronomos@aol.com Subject: Re: onlyJMDL Digest V1 #307 Friends: You can also email me with a 90min cassette and return mailer for a copy of the Kakki-provided interview. I've just emailed her, so obviously, it will be a bit before I have an original to copy for you. My address is: Dan Haas 717 Lewisberry Rd. New Cumberland, PA 17070 May your hearts be blessed with all good things this holiday season. God is good! Dan NP: the hum of my fan.... it's 6 am and "not a creature is stirring" (except my mouse) ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 08:54:56 EST From: KCooper984@aol.com Subject: Happy Holidays to Joni and her jmdle family!! Happy Holidays everyone! Merry Christmas Joni!1 I want to wish everyone here a very Merry Christmas! A special thanks to Wally and Les for all the work you do! I would also love to thank Bob M. for his generosity and kindness of spirit to continually make tapes and CD's for people. Merry Christmas, Bob! I had another special Christmas present this morning too! I got an email from amazon that my Joni Mitchell Companion was shipped yesterday!!!!!! Yeah!!! Have a wonderful holiday everyone!!! Sue Cooper I wish I had a river I could skate away on! ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 09:05:49 EST From: FMYFL@aol.com Subject: Barbie & Ken's letter to Santa (NJC) very njc Barbie's Letter To Santa: Dear Santa, Listen you fat troll, I've been saving your ass every year, being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in December and dressing in fake Chanel at sappy tea parties. I hate to break it to ya',Santa, but it's payback time. There had better be some changes around here,or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown, and trust me, you don't wanna be around to smell it. These are my demands for Christmas 1999: 1. Sweat pants and an oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker in hot pink bikinis. Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro up your butt? I don't suppose you do. 2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. That cheap-o molded underwear some genius at Mattel came up with looks like cellulite! 3. A REAL man... I don't care if you have to go to Hasbro to get him, bring me GI JOE. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me-Elmo over that pathetic bump of a boytoy, Ken. And what was up with that earring anyway? HULLO!?! 4. It's about time you made us all anatomically correct. Give me arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct. 5. Breast reduction surgery. 'Nuff said. 6. A jog-bra. To wear until I get the surgery. 7. A new career. Pet doctors and school teachers don't make real money. 8. A new, more 90s persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie," complete with a pint of cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips. 9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl complexion. 10. Mattel stock options. It's been 40 years - I think I deserve a piece of the action. Considering my valuable contribution to society and Mattel, I think these demands are reasonable. If you don't like it, you can find yourself a new bitch for next Christmas. It's that simple. As ever, .......Barbie Ken's Letter To Santa: Dear Santa, It has come to my attention that one of my colleagues has petitioned you for changes in her contract, specifically asking for anatomical and career changes. In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging remarks were made about me, my sexuality, and some of my fashion choices. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you of issues concerning Ms. Barbie, as well as some of my own needs and desires: First, I, along with several of my colleagues, feel Ms. Barbie DOES NOT deserve the preferential treatment she has received over the years. That bitch has everything. Neither I, nor Joe, Jem, nor The Raggedys, Ann & Andy, have dreamhouses, Corvettes, dune buggies, evening gowns, and some of us do not even have the ability to change our hairstyle. I have had a limited wardrobe,obviously designed to complement but never upstage Ms. Barbie. My decision to accessorize with an earring was immediately quashed, which I protest, for it was my decision and reflects my lifestyle choice. I would like a change in my career to further explore my creative nature. Some options which could be considered are "Decorator Ken," "Beauty Salon Ken," or "Broadway Ken." Other avenues which could be considered are: "Go-Go Ken," "Impersonator Ken" (with wigs and gowns), or "West Hollywood Ken." These would more accurately reflect my interests and, I believe, open up markets that have been underserved. As for Ms. Barbie needing bendable arms so she can "push me away", I need bendable knees so I can kick the bitch to the curb. In closing, further concessions to the Blonde Bimbo from Hell, while the needs of others within my coalition are ignored, will result in legal action to be taken by myself and others. And kindly tell Ms. Barbie she can forget about G.I. Joe...he's mine, at least that's what he said last night. Sincerely, Ken ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 09:28:24 EST From: SCJoniGuy@aol.com Subject: Re: Barbie & Ken's letter to Santa (NJC) very njc In a message dated 12/24/99 8:08:35 AM US Central Standard Time, FMYFL@aol.com writes: << 3. A REAL man... I don't care if you have to go to Hasbro to get him, bring me GI JOE. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me-Elmo over that pathetic bump of a boytoy, Ken. And what was up with that earring anyway? HULLO!?! >> Jimmy, this was a good one and reminded me of the bit in the movie The Groove Tube, where Barbie and Ken get married, but then end up divorced...the whole thing was set to rhyme and ended with these lines (more or less): "We all knew why the marriage was a failure, 'cause neither one had any genitalia!" Gee, I guess this doesn't exactly mesh in very well with all the holiday wishes folks have been sending in! :~) PS: David Foley, I got your CD, need a reminder what it was you wanted... Bob, on my way to the gym so I can enjoy all these plates of goodies that the neighbors keep bringing over... NP: The Hooters, "Silent Night" ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 09:56:47 EST From: FMYFL@aol.com Subject: Re: Millennium Countdown #9 << # 9 Elton John >> On Elton's Duets CD, he sings "Shakey Ground" with Don Henley, and Don sings with Joni on "Snakes and Ladders" Jimmy, trying to remember the Christmas song that Jethro Tull sang on "Living In The Past" ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 09:50:59 -0800 (PST) From: zapuppy2@webtv.net (Penny) Subject: Millennium Countdown #8 #8 Pink Floyd :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Grace dies when it becomes us verses them......Philip Yancey ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 09:56:50 -0800 (PST) From: zapuppy2@webtv.net (Penny) Subject: Merry Christmas Joni listers, God's greatest blessings to each and all of you fine folk at the JMDL this Christmas, New Year and always. Peace Penny :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Grace dies when it becomes us verses them......Philip Yancey ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 11:09:47 -0700 From: Bounced Message Subject: christmas songs From: "jan glas" Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 13:25:29 +0100 I got lost in the JMDL, am way behind, dont know what has been posted between dec 8 and present, but yesterday i was walking past a shop, open doors, playing very loud 'merry christmas' by SLADE, it is sure one of my favourite christmas songs. The only christmas album i have is a CD that came 'for free' with a TV-guide last year. It is a compilation of dutch bands doing their christmas songs. The band 'BETTIE SERVEERT" does a very nice 'RIVER'. Ther is a lot of sliding going on in their version, a bit tired in a nice way. merry christmas everyone.....Jan Glas ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 11:10:33 -0700 From: Bounced Message Subject: Season's Greetings From: "Marian Russell" Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 18:47:36 CET Dear Fellow Jimdlers! I am in England at the moment, so not at my normal email address. If you want to contact me, you can reach me at: marian8888@hotmail.com but there might be quite a delay between your message and when I can reply as I don't have my own computer here. I'm not sub.scribed to the list at the moment, so I would much appreciate hearing anything exciting in the way of near-real-time Joni news. I've been here since the 18th of Dec. and will stay until 8th of Jan. Am planning to attend Jamie Zubairi's Jonifest at the Troubador in London on the 4th and am looking forward to meeting some of the UK jimdlers there. I hope that all of you enjoy the holidays and have a wonderful New Millennium celebration. Love, Marian Surrey, England NPIMH: My Best To You ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 13:51:45 EST From: SCJoniGuy@aol.com Subject: Re: Millennium Countdown #8 In a message dated 12/24/99 11:52:40 AM US Central Standard Time, zapuppy2@webtv.net writes: << #8 Pink Floyd >> Joni performed "The Wall" with Floyd, captured on video & CD... Bob NP: The Artist, "I Love U but I don't Trust U Anymore" ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 11:59:59 -0800 From: Steve Dulson Subject: De Duva (NJC) Womby (Laura the Womb Queen) wrote: >I remember seeing "Wild Strawberries" in film class (which I loved) >followed >by a parody starring Madeline Kahn (I'm not sure if it was Mel >Brooks' doing, >but I wouldn't be surprised if it were) called "The Dove" in which the >characters all spoke in a hilarious Swedish-English mangled language, with >subtitles. I almost peed myself watching it, it was that funny. Has anyone >else out there seen it? It IS hilarious. Michele and I saw it on TV late at night, after several glasses of wine, and it took us several minutes to realize that our legs were being pulled. Doesn't Madeliene offer someone a cigar, saying "Phallican symbolen?" I just dived into work today to pick up mail. Merry Christmas to all! ######################################################### Steve Dulson Costa Mesa CA steve@psitech.com "The Tinker's Own" http://www.tinkersown.com "Southern California Dulcimer Heritage" http://members.aol.com/scdulcimer/ "The Living Tradition Concert Series" http://www.thelivingtradition.org/ (Website under construction!) ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 14:02:47 -0800 From: "Kakki" Subject: Joni Interview tape tree update We now have 8 U.S., 1 U.K. and 1 Canadian "branches" in place, plus I've sent out 3 additional tapes to JMDL friends who I am sure will share with others. In addition, a jmdler who wishes to remain anonymous has made a generous surprise contribution to my postage fund! Wow! I will be away with my family and friends for a couple days (and without email access) so I will catch up with you all later. Wishing everyone a most wonderful Christmas! Love, Kakki ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 18:37:42 EST From: FMYFL@aol.com Subject: Merry Christmas NJC I know it's already Christmas for my Euro- friends, but I'm off to all of my family Christmas Eve festivities and I just wanted to wish you all a wonderful Christmas (even if you don't celebrate it) I love you all and I wish I could be there with all my Joni family too. I am in spirit. Be good boys and girls so Santa will bring you all of the Joni goodies you don't have. Joni, you have a Merry Christmas too! I just know you'll be checking in on the JMDL tonight. Jimmy, singing "Silent Night, Holy Night" ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Dec 1999 00:42:42 +0000 From: catman Subject: NJC If you don't have a spread called' I Can't Believe It's Not Butter', you might not get this: As heard said by dawn french on The Vicar Of Dibley: They have made a new low fat communion wafer. They have called it 'I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus'. I found it hysterically funny-the more so becuase I think i should not have! - -- those who believe in the inerrancy of the bible actually believe in the inerrancy of their own judgement and interpretations. "It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not." ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 21:44:21 EST From: Relayer211@aol.com Subject: Religious imagery in Joni's songs I was thinking today about all the religous themes in Joni's songs.There are various mentions of the words:God,The lord,Jesus,religon,the devil,heaven,churches,steeples...I wonder what Joni's religoious beliefs are. ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 21:46:27 EST From: Relayer211@aol.com Subject: I bought the Joni Mitchell Companion today! I bought the JMC today.It looks VERY interesting!I can't wait to read it! I just wish it could have been longer,included more reviews and interviews... ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 23:41:21 EST From: MDESTE1@aol.com Subject: Politically Correct Christmas Politically Correct Santa 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa was a wreck ... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves", "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the North Pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose And had gone on The Rosie Show, in front of the nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her. Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific. No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt; Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed; He just could not figure out what to do next. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, But you've got to be careful with that word these days. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground; Nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might Give to all without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, Each group of people, every religion; Every ethnicity, every hue, Everyone, everywhere...even you. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... "May you and your loved ones enjoy Peace On Earth." ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Dec 1999 00:31:28 -0500 From: "Jennifer L. Nodine" Subject: Re: Religious imagery in Joni's songs Me too, I'd love to discuss them with her, as I am seriously struggling with my own at this time :-( as tears stream from my eyes on Christmas Eve. np: nothing but the sounds of my gasps Relayer211@aol.com wrote: > > I was thinking today about all the religous themes in Joni's > songs.There are various mentions of the words:God,The lord,Jesus,religon,the > devil,heaven,churches,steeples...I wonder what Joni's religoious beliefs are. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Dec 1999 02:50:39 -0300 From: "Wally Kairuz" Subject: RE: Religious imagery in Joni's songs this was discussed at one point. i think that in the recent past joni expressed an inclination for buddhism. wallyk - ----- Mensaje original ----- De: Para: Enviado: Viernes 24 de Diciembre de 1999 23:44 Asunto: Religious imagery in Joni's songs > > I was thinking today about all the religous themes in Joni's > songs.There are various mentions of the words:God,The lord,Jesus,religon,the > devil,heaven,churches,steeples...I wonder what Joni's religoious beliefs are. > ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Dec 1999 02:52:22 -0300 From: "Wally Kairuz" Subject: RE: Politically Correct Christmas this is so goooood! where did you find it, marcel? wallyk - ----- Mensaje original ----- De: Para: Enviado: Sábado 25 de Diciembre de 1999 01:41 Asunto: Politically Correct Christmas > Politically Correct Santa > ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Dec 1999 00:56:05 -0500 From: "Eric Taylor" Subject: Re: When did Joni's voice begin to deepen? Relayer211@aol.com starts a great thread: << I don't have any of Joni's CD's from HOSL through "Night Ride Home".On NRH Joni's voice is considerably deeper then it was on HOSL.When did her voice change begin?Was it a gradual change,or did it happen within a short space of time?Thanks. >> I was just thinking about this a few days ago listening to a CD I made with one song from every Joni album in order. I think she departed virgin soprano on For The Roses. Mingus launched the deeper Joni sound which I personally like best. Turbulent Indigo revealed a smoky warmth redefining her incredible depth. So there are my three stages of Joni's voice. Looking forward to the fourth & fifth! E.T. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Dec 1999 01:05:38 -0500 From: "Jennifer L. Nodine" Subject: confessions on Xmas eve To all you fellow JMDLers. I am a Jehovah's Witness. Probably the only one on the list. I just wanted to say thaks to the list for making me feel like I belong to somewhere, when really I belong nowhere. I have been writing for sometime now, but haven't been moved enough to write about my "alome" feelings until now. WallyK has helped me tremendously and I want to thank him. He is one of the most compassionate people I know, and I don't even know him very well. The world needs so many more Wally's and so many less crybabies like me. - -sad jenny from CT ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Dec 1999 01:28:03 -0500 From: "Jennifer L. Nodine" Subject: depression doesn't get any better than this Sara McLauglan: Memories seep from my veins. Let me be empty or weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight. Jenny ------------------------------ End of JMDL Digest V4 #576 ************************** The Song and Album Voting Booths are open! Cast your votes by clicking the links at http://www.jmdl.com/gallery username: jimdle password: siquomb ------- Don't forget about these ongoing projects: Glossary project: Send a blank message to for all the details. FAQ Project: Help compile the JMDL FAQ. Do you have mailing list-related questions? -send them to Trivia Project: Send your Joni trivia questions and/or answers to Today in History Project: Know of a date-specific Joni fact? - -send it to ------- Post messages to the list at Unsubscribe by sending "unsubscribe joni-digest" to ------- Siquomb, isn't she?