From: owner-jewel-digest@smoe.org (jewel-digest) To: jewel-digest@smoe.org Subject: jewel-digest V1 #844 Reply-To: jewel@smoe.org Sender: owner-jewel-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-jewel-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk X-To-Unsubscribe: Send mail to "jewel-digest-request@smoe.org" X-To-Unsubscribe: with "unsubscribe" as the body. jewel-digest Saturday, December 7 1996 Volume 01 : Number 844 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: SJC: Jewel mention... Re: MFE: Re: Jewel's love life does matter NJC: I need HELP! NJC-off to northern VA. JC-Md and DC,North VA EDA's--on notice Re: JC: new album title Re: JC: new album title Re: Crows Cavalry sorry NJC: wife=hat? Re: JC: new album title Re: MFE: Re: Jewel's love life does matter Re: WHEN YOU SMILE..(boot cd) NJC and NSMC: Re: Leah Andreone NJC : My Review of Jewel at the Mall sorry to all EDAs at Jingle Ball & JC Re:Maine EDA's Re: WHEN YOU SMILE..(boot cd) NJC: Impromptu EDA AOL meeting NOW! NJC: Harris Takes the Stand in His Own Defense... SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM: For whom the bell tolls! NJC: Harris Takes the Stand in His Own Defense... SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM: For whom the bell tolls! NJC: A Few MORE Harris Ramblings... Jewel's guitar effects & Morning Song alt. lyrics NJC: Contingency Apology JC: stuff Windows 95 screensaver????????? Title Survey Results: JEWEL'S CD!!! NJC:Mike Connell has demented me!!/AOL!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 07 Dec 1996 11:38:50 -0800 From: Victor Igor Wasylczenko Subject: Re: SJC: Jewel mention... rtr wrote: > > FYI, while browsing the Dallas Morning News weekend guide section yesterday, > I was reading a preview of a singer/songwriter named Michele Solberg > performing at a Dallas nightclub and she was compared to Jewel (sort of). > The previewer said "If her voice - which falls somewhere between the subtle > power of Jewel and the playful charm of Eddi Reader - doesn't stop you in > mid-beer, then ..." > > Earl We all love Jewel but for those of you that haven't heard the wonderful voice of Eddi Reader, go and buy her CD with Fairground Attraction. It holds the record for most continues repeated plays in a row, during one of my cross country drives. I just couldn't get enough. It is still available. I also purchased a solo Eddi Reader recently. BMG/RCA 8596-2-R Fairground Attraction/The First of a Million Kisses Earl, Michele Solberg sounds like someone I would like to give a listen to. Anyone that can be mentioned in the same breath as Jewel and Eddi Reader has to be great. Does she have a CD. Any info would be appreciated. Igor P.S. The JS tapes are catching up on that record. I turn the dial on my radio Trying to find an all night station I want to hear a song I know A song about my situation -Fairground Attraction ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 07 Dec 1996 12:54:31 -0800 From: Victor Igor Wasylczenko Subject: Re: MFE: Re: Jewel's love life does matter Andrew Vernon wrote: > > Sean Hooks wrote this: > > > lyrics. It is not coincidental that [Bruce Springsteen's _Tunnel of Love_] > > album came out right after his divorse [sic] with actress with Michelle > > Phillips. ... > > Major Factual Error, dude. Springsteen was married to Julianne Phillips, > no relation to the Mamas and the Papas Michelle Phillips. > > -- > Andrew "Damn Editor-In-Chief..." Vernon > avernon@scott.net Sean Hooks, dispite being a Bruce expert, made a mistake. Just goes to prove what I have been saying all along. He is just another imperfectly perfect human being just like all us EDAs. Igor ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 16:56:25 -0500 From: Grrly1@aol.com Subject: NJC: I need HELP! I cant figure out my damn AOL mail and i am getting VERY frustsrated! I want to be able to quote but i cant figure out how, Please please help! Thirza "Abso-smurfly" Pearl ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 17:21:33 -0500 From: Patric Oesterheld Subject: NJC-off to northern VA. I'm leaving now for North Va for tomorrows show. Tell you all about it when I get back. Patric ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 17:20:23 -0500 From: Patric Oesterheld Subject: JC-Md and DC,North VA EDA's--on notice WHFS will broadcast the entire show live---I'd be willing to make copies of concerts for anyone that comes through with a recording of the show-- At least Jewel, S Crow, and Emmett Swimmings portions. PLEASE one or all of you record this show. Even if I get more than one respondent, I'll make sure all of your time's are worth it. Take Care, Patric ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 16:22:42 -0600 From: Ashe Mayfair Subject: Re: JC: new album title >Okay, a while back Jewel jotted down five possible titles for the album >and had them sent to the list hoping we'd help her decide. (heheh.... >some of us can't even decide what name to use. :-b) Anywho... completely >from memory here... > >1. Fish Don't Know They're Short, They Just Think They're Sideways HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... ohh. That is GREAT. *sigh* I don't really like it that much as a album title, but it really cracks me up :]. >2. Goldfish Don't Bounce >3. Absence of Fear >4. Pink Fleshy Heart >5. A Crisis of Innocence > >Okay, I admit.... I blanked on that last one and dug though my Jewel >folder to find the post (made by our beloved benevolent bewildered Igor) >that had them. > >Also, someone... Liz? or Sarah? Conducted a poll and I believe AoF came >out just ahead of GDB. > > >---pat >"Carpe Noctum." > > hrrrm, still like GDB... odd, I seem to have liked both of the fish titles.... maybe that says something about me? ... NAH!!!! ;p. - -Ashe (ignor the typos) Mayfair ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 16:22:44 -0600 From: Ashe Mayfair Subject: Re: JC: new album title >Okay, a while back Jewel jotted down five possible titles for the album >and had them sent to the list hoping we'd help her decide. (heheh.... >some of us can't even decide what name to use. :-b) Anywho... completely >from memory here... > >1. Fish Don't Know They're Short, They Just Think They're Sideways HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... ohh. That is GREAT. *sigh* I don't really like it that much as a album title, but it really cracks me up :]. >2. Goldfish Don't Bounce >3. Absence of Fear >4. Pink Fleshy Heart >5. A Crisis of Innocence > >Okay, I admit.... I blanked on that last one and dug though my Jewel >folder to find the post (made by our beloved benevolent bewildered Igor) >that had them. > >Also, someone... Liz? or Sarah? Conducted a poll and I believe AoF came >out just ahead of GDB. > > >---pat >"Carpe Noctum." > > hrrrm, still like GDB... odd, I seem to have liked both of the fish titles.... maybe that says something about me? ... NAH!!!! ;p. - -Ashe (ignor the typos) Mayfair ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 16:42:32 -0600 (CST) From: "BRADLEY C. PORTER" Subject: Re: Crows Cavalry > a modern rock trendy little fluff band (Gin Blossoms) or lumped into that > whole hippie, super-collegiate, frat-boy, "hey I like to smoke weed" > category either (Blues Traveler, Rusted Root, Phish, Dave Matthews....). I just want to say that I am an okay-sortof fan of Blues Traveler and Phish, but I hold Rusted Root and Dave Matthews in high esteem. Rusted Root (although their lyrics are a little lacking) have a real talent for finding a deep, wide, wonderful groove in their music. It's enjoyable to listen to and the complexity (I'm a drummer, sorry) fascinates me. Same goes for Dave Matthews, that mans guitar playing is a liquid thing, and I can't quite get enough of him (maybe it's because I know I'll never play like that). If these bands tend to have a college-frat-boy fan base, that's not their fault, they can't control who buys their albums. I know that both bands are seriously just in the business to play the music they love, and that's all I need... And just what is wrong with smoking weed? (ooooooohhhhh, I can just FEEL the thread coming on....) SenztvRtst Kermit Scooter Bradley "RRRREEEEFFFFFEERRR MMMAAADDDNNNEEESSSSSS" Porter ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 17:04:02 -0600 From: Ashe Mayfair Subject: sorry Sorry for the double post there. My mail program goes nuts sometimes (like last night). - -Ashe (damn the luck) Mayfair ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 17:11:53 -0600 (CST) From: "Tim Gavin, The only true paranormal of the Fu Sheng beaver." Subject: NJC: wife=hat? so did he take his hat out for dinner, and forget their anniversary? what was his opinion on hat shops? did he consider his hat rack his harem? did he hang his wife up over his coat? did he ramble on incessantly about nonsense? I did... tim gavin ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 18:16:25 EST From: tiltedhalo@juno.com (Tom Harris) Subject: Re: JC: new album title On Sat, 7 Dec 1996 16:22:42 -0600 Ashe Mayfair writes: > >hrrrm, still like GDB... odd, I seem to have liked both of the fish >titles.... maybe that says something about me? ... NAH!!!! ;p. > I think it says more about Jewel that she thought those up. But doesn't Steve Polts share a similar fascination with fish? and hot dogs? Hmm.... Fish dogs? On Sat, 07 Dec 1996 08:05:36 -0500 Mike Connell-Harris writes: >OK, lets's have the crew review the tape upstairs...at JewelStock >they were....(and Pat very close on two, direct hit on three) >1. Fish Don't Know They,re Short, They Just Feel Sideways >5. The Crisis of Innocence > Picky, picky, picky..... And it's not my fault I said "_A_ Crisis of Innocence." That's what was written in Igor's post that I saved. :-b - ---pat Carpe Noctum. hmm... just noticed this... "They,re"??? Do you use a Dvorak keyboard? How could you confuse an apostrophe (which sounds a lot like 'catastrophe') for a comma? I know, you must be using a Newton.... "Egg freckles." ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 07 Dec 1996 15:32:04 -0800 From: Sinjin@ecn.com Subject: Re: MFE: Re: Jewel's love life does matter igorwas@smartcitysys.com wrote: > > Sean Hooks, dispite being a Bruce expert, made a mistake. Just goes to > prove what I have been saying all along. He is just another imperfectly > perfect human being just like all us EDAs. ...except Selena. ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 07 Dec 1996 18:39:06 EST From: JOSHUA GAYNOR Subject: Re: WHEN YOU SMILE..(boot cd) hello all, yes it is true. when you smile is a boot cd. it's a recording from jewel's concert at the Paradise Rock Club in Boston, MA on May 18,1996. the sound quality is excellent. - -josh ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 07 Dec 1996 18:46:17 -0500 From: Miguel Antonio Gonzalez Subject: NJC and NSMC: Re: Leah Andreone Donald G. Keller wrote: > > Hope I'm spelling her name right. For New York local ectofans who like > Leah Andreone, I found out today that she's playing at the revived 66th > and Broadway Tower Records at 1 p.m. on Saturday the 7th. It was rather short (much like the Jingle Ball)but she was very nice to talk to afterwards. Bummed I can't make the Mercury Lounge tonight. speedygo@mindspring.com ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 18:46:42 -0500 From: CornflkGl@aol.com Subject: NJC : My Review of Jewel at the Mall In the timeless tradition of the New Hampshire show, I'm going to tell my story of the entire Jewel-related day :). I picked up Paul around 7:30 and we got right on the roads. We had an hour and a half to 2 hour drive ( this part is important later ) and arrived at Alan's house around 9:30ish. We met William, and hung out with Alan's turtles. We also terrorized his cat ( man, that cat was psycho ) and watched TV for a while... then, off to the mall. There was a tiny little stage, and an area about the same size as the stage to stand in. We found Erica, Amy, and all the rest of everybody, of which I don't remember a single name :). Alan headed straight for the sound equipment, sounding very official, and started plugging things in. Paul and I went to the dollar store to buy a little plastic guitar, whistle, and flute combo for our "admission". Then we sat with our backs against the stage for two hours, witing for something to happen. Along the way, we amused ourselves by flashing signs at the DJ's up on the next level of the mall that were trying to make us scream. I drew an Everyday Angels sign to show to Jewel, but I felt kind of stupid with it, because we were so close to her. Bangles lady came on, did 3 songs, and was pretty good. She looked kind of disgusted, but that's my opinion... I touched her capo on her guitar. See, she's really short, so I was almost at eye level with her. It was really hard to deal with, Paul and I kept trying not to look her in the eye. Finally, Jewel walked up, to deafening pre-pubescent female screams. She looked a little dazed, and couldn't get any voice in her monitors. She did a little scat solo into them, and then asked if the audience could hear her- when we said yes, she said "that's all that matters then !" She asked what we wanted to hear. See, I was about 5 feet from her, and I felt VERY rude taking pictures that close... but I snapped off a roll and a half for Alan anyway :). I asked her for A Very Big Girl, to which she mumbled something... and then I asked for Deep Water. She played a couple of songs, and before You Were Meant For Me, she said, "I went to to Mexico-" and all of us who already knew the story yelled "Yeah!" and "Steve!". Jewel looked toward us and said, "You already know that one, huh. Well, go buy his album " . That must have confused everyone else, because I don't think the rest of the audience heard what we were yelling. After the second or third song, I held up my Everyday Angels sign. She read it, and said to me, out of the mic, " I was wondering how you guys knew Quiet Warrior!" ( she didn't play it, but somebody requested it. Every once in a while, she would look at us and kind of roll her eyes a little bit. She seemed to get really frustrated during Chime Bells, stopping after the first verse and saying "you guys just come to hear the yodeling, you don't want to hear the songwriting or the singing, just the yodleing." THen she started right into doing the fast part of Chime Bells. THen she stopped abruptly and said, "That lady on the elevator is looking at me and thinking, 'what is that shit that girl's singing?'" . Then she said "Aargh, what's the next verse ?" Amy and I both said ( yes, SAID, we were so close we could have had a normal conversation with her ) "Moonbeams !" She looked at us and said back , "Moonbeams !" then she started singing... As soon as her set was over, everyone RUSHED the stage to get an autograph. People were pushing and shoving- it was like a mob. I was balancing one one foot, with my arms holding me up against a monitor. Paul was shoved halfway under the stage. Amy said she almost passed out. Finally, when she left, people moved and we could breathe. We noticed that someone actually DID passout, and was carried out on a stretcher. We followed Mr. BossyBossy back to our car, then followed him to drop Amy off at her car, then back to Mr. BossyBossy's house, where we tortured the cat a little bit more ( everyone, if you ever get a chance, MEET THAT CAT !!! It's HUGE, and it's declawed, and it attacks you without ANY notice ! It tires to rip you to shreds ! It's hilarious ! ) and left right away. We wanted to stay and talk a while, but we thought the roads would get bad, so I wanted to get home with my life. Now, this is strange- it took us maybe 2 hours to get there in fine weather, and only 1 in a snowstorm, because we ddin't go on the Mass. Pike.. strange, Huh ? Anyway, I'm home, I'm probably snowed in , and I'm happy. I just wish everyone who was planning on going got to be there ! It wasn't quite the same without Dennis, who's been to every OTHER Jewel show I've been too... hmmm.... Rachel :) ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 19:18:30 -0500 From: StayMur@aol.com Subject: sorry to all EDAs at Jingle Ball & JC Sorry I didn't meet you guys at the Box Office but one of my friend's basketball practice went longer then expected and we were kind of frantic getting there. We got there at like 7 exactly and we ran to our seats scared that either Jewel or No Doubt were on first. So I couldn't meet you guys, however I had my eyes open for JS t-shirts all night but I didn't see any angels. I had alot of fun altough Jewel didn't get long. I had such great seats, we were on the floor kind of next to the acustic stage and we could see the whole concert perfectly. I met Chris Jagger (not a big deal), and I was talking to some dj that was walking around and asking people who their fav. artist on the radio was and I told them of course Jewel and I was telling him that this was my 7th Jewel concert and that she is the best live performer and he said, so I guess you can relate to her lyrics and I said they were the best. And I got on Spanish tv. The JC comes in, when I was talking to these people from Drew University and they were saying that Drew liked Jewel so much when she was there last year that they'd be trying to get her to do another concert there this year around April so they said if I kept in touch with them they'd tell me as it got closer. I had a really good time a Jingle Ball, although Jewel didn't get alot of time (she should have gotten as much time as Sherly Crow) and I kinda wanted to meet some angels. Stacey ------------------------------ Date: 8 Dec 1996 00:23:29 -0000 From: "Amanda Lambert" Subject: Re:Maine EDA's I live in New Hampshire, and I think it would be a god idea to have a gathering this summer. I would like to come. Dawna - --------------------------------------------------------- Get Your *Web-Based* Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com - --------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 16:23:45 -0800 (PST) From: Raymond Wong Subject: Re: WHEN YOU SMILE..(boot cd) > yes it is true. when you smile is a boot cd. it's a recording > from jewel's concert at the Paradise Rock Club in Boston, MA on > May 18,1996. the sound quality is excellent. The same one that was broadcast on WCBN? Is this the full show, or just the part that was out on promo (westwood) CD? Personally, I'm wondering why anyone would bother booting a show that readily available. Ray Wong PO BOX 6163 negativl@netcom.com, negativl@best.com Hayward, CA 94540-6163 Member #11537, Deborah Gibson International Fan Club Co-Founder and Charter Member, Sutton Foster International Fan Club ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 19:38:07 -0500 From: Chelsface@aol.com Subject: NJC: Impromptu EDA AOL meeting NOW! Hi~ I'm taking Rachels place and demanding that anyone who has AOL and reads this message come to private room Everyday Angels. :) OK. :) Chelsea ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 20:39:24 -0500 From: Harrisbros@aol.com Subject: NJC: Harris Takes the Stand in His Own Defense... "Dennis Harris" (aka, Harris Brothers) sightings have been rampant during my recent absence from the list: >>LATE BREAKING LIST NEWS: Dennis Harris has been forced into working at a turkey farm, artificially inseminating the birds. He is still trying to figure out a tom from a hen...Enough with the Tom's already! Sheesh! And I haven't seen hide nor hair (nor feather) of Dennis in quite a while...THEN REPORTS OF my alien abduction, becoming New England roadkill, the recurring AIDS commercial thread, the writings of little Dean, innumerable imposters, then out-and-out denial by my closest EDA friends that I ever even existed!<< Angels, put away the blow-up Dennis doll (and the darts, too!)...I'm back. Last time I disappeared, reports had me detained in (and eventually escaping) a Turkish prison, being pursued by authorities from four states and involved in an elaborate sting operation with Jewel as bait (at the Lupos and Boston Common shows). After narrowly surviving the notorious car wash accident, I made a short-lived run (9 hours) for the presidency on November 4th (did ANYONE vote for me, BTW?). My prospects as a politician crushed, I went on a two day drinking binge with fellow "short-end" candidates Ross and Bob...Ross is a paranoid little b*stard who wanted us to hide from the little green men following us in the Pizza truck and all Bobby wanted to do was go to Hooters "for buffalo wings". So, over brewskies we cried and discussed career options, agreeing to open a chain of specialty button superstores (okay, PUSHCARTS) until they both realized they were still rich and I wasn't. If I could have gotten that damn pencil outta Bobby's hand and the napkin signed, or the waitress had bent over for thg, and then it dawned on me that with Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner, this was the BUSY season in the turkey business. Always the opportunist, I cruised the internet for career opportunities and applied for three jobs: lead guitarist for the Philadelphia Philharmonic, child actor and work with the Turkey Farm. The Turkey Farm made me the most attractive job offer. I also downloaded some REALLY interesting JPEGs. (E-mail me privately.) I have mixed feelings about my short stint as a Fowl Fertility Engineer. (Hey, no jokes about my short stint, Amy!) The work at the turkey farm was not a pretty sight, I tell ya. The third day, I lost the turkey baster and had to do it the old fashioned way...DON'T LAUGH! You guys have any idea how much foreplay a turkey requires?!? (Okay Selena, I'm sure Barry does!) ---> ;) While fun at first, there were just too damn many Toms in the office! And it's true what they say, you can't soar with eagles when you work with a bunch of turkeys. Sad thing was, I really meant to apply as a "Turkey Plucker". It's amazing how messy handwriting can really affect your career direction! Anyway, I'm back, a little worse for the wear, but a much more worldly man for the experience. - -- Dennis (That Which Does Not Kill You, Makes a Good Story) Harris p.s. The aliens eventually did get Ross, the poor b*stard! ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 20:42:50 -0500 From: Harrisbros@aol.com Subject: SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM: For whom the bell tolls! "Hey guvnuh! Spare a few alms for a good cause? Gawd no, not me...ah, Gawddamn Us Harris Brothers, it's the generous folks we gotta support, you know...yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda ..." Okay, runaway imagination...here's the REAL pitch: This list is made possible for OUR benefit by the extremely generous nature of Jeff Wasilko, who sponsors this list with on his own equipment and resources. As a follow-up to several suggestions that we grateful EDAs purchase server storage media to maintain our ever-expanding archives, I am posting this request for YOUR assistance. It works like this: 1) If you are interested in donating, e-mail me directly (NOT to the list) at harrisbros@aol.com. 2) I'll respond and get you a mailing address to send your check. 3) I'll post once or twice more to the list, then forward all donations directly to Jeff by the end of the month. So far, many of us have said we can donate $10 each. If you can only do $5, or are in a position to help out more, great! At $10 a pop, we would need around three dozen contributors. (If we can't find 36 EDAs on this list I'd be very surprised!) Anyone who knows how big a pain in the butt running a mail list can be, or has seen the support Jeff has given us in the past when folks have abused the list (and us), is sure to want to participate and relieve Jeff of some financial burden. The fact that Jeff is so "hands-off" regarding list content is amazing -- show him we appreciate it! Jeff has told me the type of media that would work best (a particular model of harddrive to complete a disk array), and was VERY appreciative of the offer. He prefers that any donations be collected and delivered all at one time, not individually. (I will be contacting all EDAs who previously responded with offers. If you don't hear from me within 24 hours, please e-mail me again.) (BTW, this is a legitimate list project, so please think twice before you flame me!) Let's get this done quick so I can quit ringing this g*ddamn bell and get off the sidewalk by Christmas Eve! Thanks! - -- Dennis (Always Pay the Man With the Bell) Harris ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 20:52:53 -0500 From: Harrisbros@aol.com Subject: NJC: Harris Takes the Stand in His Own Defense... "Dennis Harris" (aka, Harris Brothers) sightings have been rampant during my recent absence from the list: >>LATE BREAKING LIST NEWS: Dennis Harris has been forced into working at a turkey farm, artificially inseminating the birds. He is still trying to figure out a tom from a hen...Enough with the Tom's already! Sheesh! And I haven't seen hide nor hair (nor feather) of Dennis in quite a while...THEN REPORTS OF my alien abduction, becoming New England roadkill, the recurring AIDS commercial thread, the writings of little Dean, innumerable imposters, then out-and-out denial by my closest EDA friends that I ever even existed!<< Angels, put away the blow-up Dennis doll (and the darts, too!)...I'm back. Last time I disappeared, reports had me detained in (and eventually escaping) a Turkish prison, being pursued by authorities from four states and involved in an elaborate sting operation with Jewel as bait (at the Lupos and Boston Common shows). After narrowly surviving the notorious car wash accident, I made a short-lived run (9 hours) for the presidency on November 4th (did ANYONE vote for me, BTW?). My prospects as a politician crushed, I went on a two day drinking binge with fellow "short-end" candidates Ross and Bob...Ross is a paranoid little b*stard who wanted to hide from the little green men following us in the Pizza truck and all Bobby wanted to do was go to Hooters "for buffalo wings". So, over brewskies we cried and discussed career options, agreeing to open a chain of specialty button superstores (okay, PUSHCARTS) until they both realized they were still rich and I wasn't. If I could have gotten that damn pencil outta Bobby's hand and the napkin signed, or the waitress had bent over for the fork, I could have been on easy street today. Damn fair weather friends! Anyway, the wings got me to thinking, and then it dawned on me that with Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner, this was the BUSY season in the turkey business. Always the opportunist, I cruised the internet for career opportunities and applied for three jobs: lead guitarist for the Philadelphia Philharmonic, child actor and work with the Turkey Farm. The Turkey Farm made me the most attractive job offer. I also downloaded some REALLY interesting JPEGs. (E-mail me privately.) I have mixed feelings about my short stint as a Fowl Fertility Engineer. (Hey, no jokes about my short stint, Amy!) The work at the turkey farm was not a pretty sight, I tell ya. The third day, I lost the turkey baster and had to do it the old fashioned way...DON'T LAUGH! You guys have any idea how much foreplay a turkey requires?!? (Okay Selena, I'm sure Barry does!) ---> ;) While fun at first, there were just too damn many Toms in the office! And it's true what they say, you can't soar with eagles when you work with a bunch of turkeys. Sad thing was, I really meant to apply as a "Turkey Plucker". It's amazing how messy handwriting can really affect your career direction! Anyway, I'm back, a little worse for the wear, but a much more worldly man for the experience. - -- Dennis (That Which Does Not Kill You, Makes a Good Story) Harris p.s. The aliens eventually did get Ross, the poor b*stard! ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 20:57:51 -0500 From: Harrisbros@aol.com Subject: SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM: For whom the bell tolls! "Hey guvnuh! Spare a few alms for a good cause? Gawd no, not me...ah, Gawddamn Us Harris Brothers, it's the generous folks we gotta support, you know...yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda ..." Okay, runaway imagination...here's the REAL pitch: This list is made possible for OUR benefit by the extremely generous nature of Jeff Wasilko, who sponsors this list with his own equipment and resources. As a follow-up to several suggestions that we grateful EDAs purchase server storage media to maintain our ever-expanding archives, I am posting this request for YOUR assistance. It works like this: 1) If you are interested in donating, e-mail me directly (NOT to the list) at harrisbros@aol.com. 2) I'll respond and get you a mailing address to send your check. 3) I'll post once or twice more to the list, then forward all donations directly to Jeff by the end of the month. So far, many of us have said we can donate $10 each. If you can only do $5, or are in a position to help out more, great! At $10 a pop, we would need around three dozen contributors. (If we can't find 36 EDAs on this list I'd be very surprised!) Anyone who knows how big a pain in the butt running a mail list can be, or has seen the support Jeff has given us in the past when folks have abused the list (and us), is sure to want to participate and relieve Jeff of some financial burden. The fact that Jeff is so "hands-off" regarding list content is amazing -- show him we appreciate it! Jeff has told me the type of media that would work best (a particular model of harddrive to complete a disk array), and was VERY appreciative of the offer. He prefers that any donations be collected and delivered all at one time, not individually. (I will be contacting all EDAs who previously responded with offers. If you don't hear from me within 24 hours, please e-mail me again.) (BTW, this is a legitimate list project, so please read it again before you flame me!) Let's get this done quick so I can quit ringing this g*ddamn bell and get off the sidewalk by Christmas Eve! Thanks! - -- Dennis (Always Pay the Man with the Bell) Harris ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 21:01:27 -0500 From: Harrisbros@aol.com Subject: NJC: A Few MORE Harris Ramblings... Hey, I kept quiet for a whole five weeks! (This should catch me up.) ***Selena threatened Igor: >>Omigod Igor!...I will get out my duct tape and uh...and...well, ask Dennis what happened to him.<< I hate it when they tape and tell, don't you? ***Selena offered to send Sinjin a photo of herself, then told Igor that bidding would start at $100. Hey guys, I'll do her one better. I got rare photos of Selena with her clothes STILL ON! (Bidding starts considerably higher, of course) ***Amy wrote several suggestive posts: >>sorry Igor but I did eat turkey - and don't start thinking turkey = Dennis here! ... Dennis can play the organ (no sexual innuendos intended)<< I think there's SEXUAL HARRISMENT in there somewhere! ***Skinny Pete complained about the NH show: >>I yelled out about a dozen times for "1000 Miles" but was disgustingly IGNORED by Miss Kilcher.<< She won't play "1000 Miles Away" for just ANYONE, you know...I bet you didn't even bother standing on your chair, you slacker! Actually, I WAS there at NH, backstage, enjoying the concert up real close. Until security looked in the large cardboard box behind the drum set. (Gotta hide those airholes better next time, they're a dead giveaway.) ***Pooh wrote: >>...she loves her fans but there are more fans than just the EDA's. She doesn't know who 99.9% of you are!<< Then why all the increased security when I show up? Huh? And you know, she has that copy of the police artist sketch to remember me by... ***Mike Connell-Harris wrote: >>(Igor is back!) Now we need Dennis Harris to come back too! He's gone in hiding again. :( And Carter...COME BACK CARTER!<< Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. (And apparently have.) ***The Pirate King wrote upon his return: >>...the batty little yodel honey I know and love...Hope the list is still as fun as I remember it, purple bears and all.<< Carter, welcome back! First, Honey Yodel (tm) is still a trademark of Harris Brothers International, Ltd., (with royalties paid to Wiggy Ideas until the countersuit is won) and it is strongly suggested that you respect it. Second, that purple rag bear has been banned from the list since JewelStock Night Two at Hampton Beach. All else is the same, except the things that have changed. ***Damon apparently found a rare gem: >>"...you say she loves a Harris, I find it hard to believe, because baby looks like a very smart girl to me..."--the lost verse of A Very Big Girl<< I'm beginning to think Jewel is trying to steal the limelight from the Harris clan...err, you got that boot on a CD, by chance? ;) ***Someone suggested "Jewel Harris Kilcher" had a nice ring to it. Everyone else on the list uses it, so why not? ***Chris wrote: >>With all the Harris clan and all the Toms, do we have a Tom Harris? Do we need to quest for Tom Harris, who would be the *TRUE* leader of the EDA's?<< My great-grandfather was Thomas Harris, a Cherokee out of Lousiana. Would that do? Then I guess I'd be the heir to the throne, eh? ***Igor wrote: >>So I talked about Jewels looks. I'm only expressing my human emotions. But Kathy doesn't understand. She said she was getting me a Jewel blow-up doll for Christmas.<< They have those? And I paid $200 for the last available Tickle Me Elmo doll? * damn * ***Mike confesses: >>I have 50 EDAs on my AOL "Buddy List" and we have 'real time' chats all the time.<< Yeah, and he talks to ALL of them at the SAME time, so you gotta wait in line ALL the time! ***Ray Wong wrote: >>Does anyone know if Jewel's ever done anything like a seance to try and contact people?<< I doubt it, Ray. Anyone who has seen Jewel live a couple of times knows she often has trouble even contacting her own lyrics! ;) ***Lauren wrote about Jewel's seemingly fascination with word "hotdog": Very versatile word(s). Hot. Dog. Hot-dog. Hotdog. HawtDawg. Hey, whatever happened to the song "Marital Carnival"? One of Jewel's more obscure songs now, but a real gem. ***EDADavid wrote: >>Can anyone else recommend any other good Jewel "stuff" that they particularly like?<< Well, I found two very nice guitar picks on the JewelStock stage that night... - -- Dennis (Goldfish DO Bounce Off a Rubber Floor) Harris ************************************************* "Ah, Goddamn ya Harris Brothers" -- Jewel ************************************************* ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 07 Dec 1996 20:59:20 -0500 From: Garrett Fabian Subject: Jewel's guitar effects & Morning Song alt. lyrics Hi! I was just listening to a tape of Jewelplaying in Ann Arbor on 2/7/96, and Jewel used what I'm guessing was a chorus pedal on her acoustic guitar. It sounded great and was a nice change from her usual sound. Does anyone know what other effects she might occasinally use (if any?) and who makes them? Also, whilst listening to this tape on the long ride home tonight, I wondered how I'd change the lyrics for Morning Song to sing them since I'm a guy. You know, like "My you remind me of a girl I used to sleep with, that's a face I'll never forget." Well, when I got to "Henry Miller and Anias Nin", the first thing my brain kicked out was, "And you can be Yoko Ono and I'll be John Lennon, this time it'll be even better cuz we'll be together in the end." This kinda spooked me out because it fit perfectly into the song both lyric and message-wise. Later! - --Garrett ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Dec 1996 22:04:53 -0500 From: Harrisbros@aol.com Subject: NJC: Contingency Apology If I posted two of my earlier messages twice, apologies! I HAVE been off the list too long if I can't even remember how to post anymore. ;) - -- Dennis (A Mind is a Terrible Waste) Harris ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 08 Dec 1996 13:01:52 -0800 From: wrdavis@ite.net (Katherine Davis) Subject: JC: stuff Hey Angels!! I hope that granola shirt's coming along good...I know I want one. I still need a Jewel shirt for meetings. But anyhow, if *anybody* has *any* idea of chords for Jewel songs not on the two sites, I'd love to obtain them! I *really* want to know "Chime Bells"...I'm working on my yodeling!! :) and I want to let anyone and everyone out there going to Guam for the holidays, there's going to be a mini-meeting of EDAs so all are invited! I'm dreaming....I'm dreaming.... I also wanted to know if Radio Angels is still being treed.... is there going to be a RA 97 with all these radio appearances being talked about? Take Care all, Love ya, Kerry ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 07 Dec 1996 22:22:54 EST From: jewelfan1@juno.com (Liz A Clark) Subject: Windows 95 screensaver????????? Hi angels, I am looking for the Jewel screensaver that someone made for WIndows 95. I just upgraded and I would LOVE to have this!!!! If you have it and can send it to me to be downloaded, please send it to JEWELFAN22@aol.com....or just let me know where I can find it on the 'net! Your friend and fellow angel, Liz ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 07 Dec 1996 22:22:54 EST From: jewelfan1@juno.com (Liz A Clark) Subject: Title Survey Results: JEWEL'S CD!!! Hi my angels, Since people were asking about it, I thought I would announce the winners of the Jewel Cd title survey that occured last month. I would have announced them sooner, but as many of you know, my computer spazzed out on me!!! And the winners are: (drum roll please) 1) _Goldfish Don't Bounce_ : 37.5% 2)_Absence Of Fear_:27% 3)_Pink Fleshy Heart_:17% 4)_Crisis Of Innocence_:14.5% 5)_Fish Don't Know They're Short They Just Feel Sideways_:4% So....._Goldfish Don't Bounce_ is the victor based on the responses of you the angels!!! Enjoy...... Your friend and fellow angel, Liz ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 07 Dec 1996 22:22:54 EST From: jewelfan1@juno.com (Liz A Clark) Subject: NJC:Mike Connell has demented me!!/AOL!!! Hi my angels, My AOL is FINALLY working!!!! Yeah!!!!! I can join the chats again!!!! =) Anyway, today I had a speech tournament in Olentangy, OH. (2 hours from my house =P~) I am in the category of Humorous Interp. I have to act out a published play that I have memorized. It is quite difficult because I have to do different characters all by myself using different voices, focal points, and stances...you are not allowed to walk around either. Anyway, I do a piece by Christopher Durang called _Canker Sores and Other Distractions_. One of my characters is a strange waitress. One of her lines is..."We've got duck, chicken and fish. All almondine." While I was performing my piece today, I said this line incorrectly. I said, "We've got DUCKSOUP, chicken, and fish. All almondine." I heard myself say that and I almost started laughing while I was doing my piece. I ended up doing really bad today anyway because I neglected to memorize the speech, which I have had since September, until last night. That is ok though...I am competing next weekend also and I will be ready!! AND this time, I WILL say the line CORRECTLY!!!! Well, that is my tad bit of info for the day......oh yeah!!! I heard YWMFM for the first time on the radio yesterday!!!! I was in line inside McDonald's...I gasped when I heard it and I got a huge smile on myface...I think the people around me thought I was psychotic or something!!!! Anyway, I am off to see "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat", so have a great evening!!! Your friend and fellow angel, Liz ------------------------------ End of jewel-digest V1 #844 ***************************