From: owner-jewel-digest@smoe.org (jewel-digest) To: jewel-digest@smoe.org Subject: jewel-digest V2 #97 Reply-To: jewel@smoe.org Sender: owner-jewel-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-jewel-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk X-To-Unsubscribe: Send mail to "jewel-digest-request@smoe.org" X-To-Unsubscribe: with "unsubscribe" as the body. jewel-digest Thursday, February 13 1997 Volume 02 : Number 097 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: February Gives Me The Hives] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 12 Feb 1997 21:33:04 +0000 From: Tom Morales Subject: Re: February Gives Me The Hives] This is a multi-part message in MIME format. - --------------15F5101E3E21 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit This has a little JC. Thought some of you might be interested. - --------------15F5101E3E21 Content-Type: message/rfc822 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Disposition: inline Received: from emout10.mail.aol.com (emout10.mx.aol.com [198.81.11.25]) by primenet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with ESMTP id SAA11143 for ; Wed, 12 Feb 1997 18:01:12 -0700 (MST) From: RugburnsSD@aol.com Received: (from root@localhost) by emout10.mail.aol.com (8.7.6/8.7.3/AOL-2.0.0) id TAA25516; Wed, 12 Feb 1997 19:53:42 -0500 (EST) Date: Wed, 12 Feb 1997 19:53:42 -0500 (EST) Message-ID: <970212195221_1049220640@emout10.mail.aol.com> Subject: February Gives Me The Hives X-UIDL: ac7794c437ef36747a1123ebb5284137 X-Mozilla-Status: 0001 Hey Fartknockers! What's going on here??? Once again, I, Steve Poltz, am lagging. lagger. laglaglaglaglag. Takes me so long to find any boy with a computer. Not just any boy. A chicago boy. a cute chicago boy named joe daly. who came out and took my already-ruined liver and left it in disrepair. unfixable. ruined wrecked, destroyed. fried. tweaked. bamboozled, swindled, hoodwinked. cookies, too. well, scratch cookies. anyways, so much has happened. first of all, we got offered the Jewel tour. Well, how could we say no to touring with such a great friend and potato chip? I love Jewel. And this is going to be a fun tour for us because for the first time we don't have to drive a van. Weire going to be totally spoiled. Jewel is a little angel who decided The Rugburns needed some pampering for a few weeks. So we're going to do our "Unplugged Pretty Song Sensitive Guy Joe Tour." Stinky is bringing a stripped down drum set. I'm just brining my acoustic guitar, and John is going to dress like Big Bird and just recite his bass lines in a squawky bird voice. But don't worry, kiddies, we'll be back for a plugged-in tour up your ass in your city after this tour, sometime in late april. But we're really looking forward to this tour with Jewel because of all the purdy songs we have, such as Holliston Street, Sliding Away, Silver Lining, etc., etc., etc. So this will be a good chance for you to see us look like small town hicks in a big city theater. So if you're in the mood to hear lots of pretty Rugburns songs, this is the show for you. It's a chance for us to do new and old songs and to sing some stuff with Jewel, and I might even give up whiskey for lent. I've found that red wine is my new friend, so for forty days and forty nights, just like my good pal Jesus, I'll be drinking wine in the desert. But I ain't going to wear no stupid-ass hippy sandals, I'll tell you that much. And I'm not going to wear any freaky-smelling oils. And keep those stupid crystals away from me. I'll be leaving a pipe bomb at each new age bookstore in every city I go to. Except if the FBI's smart enough, they'll see a developing pattern... Anyway, enough of this tour. I want to talk about albums and some cds you guys ought to look out for. I'm going to be doing a solo record of singer/songwriter-type songs that's going to be on Mercury Records. Stinky and John will still be playing on it, but it's going to be quieter, prettier stuff. Look for that to be out hopefully in September. Then, a few months after that, we'll release a Rugburns album full of all the fun and ribaldry you'd expect from a band who likes to wear little boys' underwear with superheroes. I've wanted to do this solo record for years and I have so many songs backed-up that I'm constipated and need to take a big crap. The Rugburns are still going to be touring like crazy, but this just gives me an opportunity to release the kind of album you people can screw to. John's doing great. Still eating a lot of carrots, and crap like that. He keeps talking about becoming a welder, and I keep telling him, "John, put your welding dreams away for now, and come on the road." He graduated with honors at the San Diego Police Academy, and now it's like driving around with a big narc on the road. Every time I try to do one simple line of coke while driving the van, I've got this idiot reading me my Miranda rights. I wish he'd just put his little cop dreams to rest and go back to eating celery or whatever the hell he does. As for Stinky, he's decided that he can't drink coffee anymore. He had an anxiety attack during a horror flick and his doctor has him on Prozac. He just can't seem to spit like he used to, but boy, is he handsome. I wanna touch him, and I mean touch him in a real mean way. SOmetimes I have dreams of playing the dirty game with Stinky, where he comes in my room and he says, "Helen, we're late for cheerleading practice, " and I say, "OH, just wait right there, Deario," and I pop out from under the covers in my Batman skivvies and whack him in the face as hard as I can with a steel pipe, while John just sits there welding in the background, unconcerned. BUt I don't want to tell you too many of my secrets. All I know is that the morning Joe Daly left San Diego, I woke up in the back of the van in the parking lot of Java Joe's feeling real, real bad about myself and the marks that were left on my body. I'm thinking of having John Castro fly out to chicago and arrest Joe. I'm seriously going to be pressing charges, and if I were you people, I'd avoid that guy too. And besides, his feet stink really bad. Anyway, I have to go now, I'm sick of talking to you people. Yours in Christ, Steven J. Poltz (Editor's Note: This was dictated to me over the telephone by a locquacious, undoubtedly hungover Steven J. Poltz, who demanded that I type as fast as he spoke, and who further insisted that no typos or spelling errors be corrected. I therefore place full blame on him for all grammatical and spelling errors. Given the paucity of good grammar and sentence structure in John Castro's last newsletter, I wonder if an English refresher course might be a good idea for the "worldly" Rugburns... And my feet don't stink. -JPD) AOL Users can find other Rugburns info, discussions, etc. In the Rugburns Folder on America Online: Keyword: MMC Double Click "Alternative" Then Double click "General" As always, to get on the mailing list, send all mail to RugburnsSD@aol.com, and type "Subscribe" in the subject line. New Dates: (* Denotes opening for Jewel) 2/13 Fullerton, CA Cal. State University- Fullerton 2/20 South Hadley, MA Chapin Hall* 2/21 Boston, MA Orpheum Theater* 2/22 Burlington, VT Burlington Memorial Auditorium* 2/23 New Haven, CT Palace Theater* 2/24 Geneseo, NY Kuhl Hall* 2/28 Waterville, ME Wadsworth Gym* 3/1 Providence, RI Alumni Hall Gymnasium* 3/2-3 New York, NY Beacon Theater* 3/5 Montreal,QUE Le Spectrum de Montreal* 3/6 Toronto, ONT Music Hall- Toronto* 3/8 Pittsburgh, PA Palumbo Center* 3/9 Upper Darby, PA Tower Theater* 3/10-11 Washington, DC 9:30 Club* 3/12 Lakewood, OH Lakewood Civic Auditorium* 3/14 Indianapolis, IN Murat Theater* 3/15 Columbus, OH Palace Theater 3/16 Detroit, MI Detroit State Theater* 3/18 Minneapolis, MN Orpheum, MN* 3/20 Chicago, IL Chicago Theater* 3/21 St. Louis, MO American Theater* 3/22 Kansas City, MO Memorial Hall- KS* 4/11 Ventura, CA Nicholbyis 4/12 San Diego, CA The Casbah - --------------15F5101E3E21-- ------------------------------ End of jewel-digest V2 #97 **************************