From: owner-idealcopy-digest@smoe.org (idealcopy-digest) To: idealcopy-digest@smoe.org Subject: idealcopy-digest V8 #341 Reply-To: idealcopy@smoe.org Sender: owner-idealcopy-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-idealcopy-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk idealcopy-digest Wednesday, December 14 2005 Volume 08 : Number 341 Today's Subjects: ----------------- [idealcopy] For our American friends - Well I laughed [CHRISWIRE@aol.com] Subject: [idealcopy] Fwd: Close but no cigar/bad news/good news for all.....? ["Robert Cambra" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 13 Dec 2005 15:39:49 EST From: CHRISWIRE@aol.com Subject: [idealcopy] For our American friends - Well I laughed Hi all Well I laughed anyway chris >>> Objet : FW: Fwd: ... Look out! The British are coming!! >> >> >To the citizens of the United States of America: >> >> In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and >thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your >independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth >II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other >territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). >> >> Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America >without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. >A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you >noticed. >> >> To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules >are introduced with immediate effect: >> >> 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then >look up "aluminum," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed >at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be >reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, >you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and >the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that >the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra'; you may elect to respell Pittsburgh >as 'Pittsberg' if you find you simply can't cope with correct pronunciation. >Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels >(look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with >filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient >form of communication. >> >> 2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on >your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account >of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize." >> >> 3. You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", >but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above). >> >> 4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will >be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will >be called "Come-Uppance Day." >> >> 5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers >or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows >that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled >by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone >or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. > >> >> 6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more >dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish >to carry a vegetable peeler in public. >> >> 7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your >own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. >All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving >on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately >and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication >will help you understand the British sense of humour. >> >> 8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling >"gasoline") -roughly $8/US gallon. Get used to it. >> >> 9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries >are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are >properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, >and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar. >> >> 10. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers. > >> >> 11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually >beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as >"beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred >to as "Lager." American brands will be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's >Urine," so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. >> >> 12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good >guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English >characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four Weddings >and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a >cheese grater. >> >> 13. You will cease playing American "football." There is only one kind >of proper football; you call it "soccer." Those of you brave enough will, >in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American >"football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds >or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). >> >> Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an >event called the "World Series" for a game which is not played outside of >America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your >borders, your error is understandable. >> >> 14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. >> >> 15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government >will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due backdated >to 1776. >> >> Thank you for your co-operation. >> >> John Cleese > >> > > >Best regards / Mit freundlichen Gruessen ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 13 Dec 2005 14:31:21 -0800 From: "Robert Cambra" Subject: Subject: [idealcopy] Fwd: Close but no cigar/bad news/good news for all.....? Well, this is good news for me! It was looking like a San Francisco date would have fallen on the 18th or 19th and I have a lucrative bartending gig on the 19th. Didn't want to choose! Later in the year; let's hope that's February. Cheers, Robert (another) Date: Fri, 9 Dec 2005 13:51:50 -0800 (PST) From: Ari Subject: [idealcopy] Fwd: Close but no cigar/bad news/good news for all.....? Hope they make the east coast, not TOO far from Chapel Hill........... A SWIM-HQ wrote: Date: Fri, 09 Dec 2005 21:34:14 +0000 Subject: Close but no cigar From: SWIM-HQ To: SWIM-HQ Close but no cigar Hi all, It is true that Githead and Boche Billions have been putting together a US tour for Jan next year. We got pretty close to announcing it and in fact some venues have already started publicising dates. However we have been scuppered by forces beyond our control (not the fault of either band or agent) and this now cannot take place in the original time frame. So now we are looking at coming back around this later in 06. By hook or crook well do our damdest to get to North America in 06! Best Colin -- swim~ PO Box 3459 London SW19 6ES Fax : +44 (O)20.8789.0636 e--mail: Swim@posteverything.com aol: SWIM LONDON world wide web: http://www.swimhq.com mailorder/ news http://www.posteverything.com/swim Swim mailing list ****************************************************** CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This E-Mail is intended only for the use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you have received this communication in error, please do not distribute and delete the original message. Please notify the sender by E-Mail at the address shown. Thank you for your compliance. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 13 Dec 2005 15:21:38 -0800 (PST) From: sahu sakti Subject: Re: [idealcopy] For our American friends - Well I laughed how i wish!!!!! chip butties the national food!!!!!! bangers and mash. quality street in every home! - --- CHRISWIRE@aol.com wrote: > Hi all > > Well I laughed anyway > > chris > > > >>> Objet : FW: Fwd: ... Look out! The British are > coming!! > >> > >> > >To the citizens of the United States of America: > >> > >> In light of your failure to elect a competent > President of the USA and > >thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice > of the revocation of your > >independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign > Majesty, Queen Elizabeth > >II, will resume monarchical duties over all > states, commonwealths and other > >territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not > fancy). > >> > >> Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will > appoint a governor for America > >without the need for further elections. Congress > and the Senate will be > disbanded. > >A questionnaire may be circulated next year to > determine whether any of > you > >noticed. > >> > >> To aid in the transition to a British Crown > Dependency, the following > rules > >are introduced with immediate effect: > >> > >> 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford > English Dictionary. Then > >look up "aluminum," and check the pronunciation > guide. You will be amazed > >at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. > The letter 'U' will be > > >reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and > 'neighbour.' Likewise, > >you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without > skipping half the letters, and > >the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix > "ise." You will learn that > >the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra'; you may > elect to respell > Pittsburgh > >as 'Pittsberg' if you find you simply can't cope > with correct > pronunciation. > >Generally, you will be expected to raise your > vocabulary to acceptable > levels > >(look up "vocabulary"). Using the same > twenty-seven words interspersed with > >filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an > unacceptable and > inefficient > >form of communication. > >> > >> 2. There is no such thing as "US English." We > will let Microsoft know > on > >your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be > adjusted to take account > >of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination > of "-ize." > >> > >> 3. You will relearn your original national > anthem, "God Save The Queen", > >but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see > above). > >> > >> 4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a > holiday. November 2nd will > >be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated > only in England. It will > >be called "Come-Uppance Day." > >> > >> 5. You will learn to resolve personal issues > without using guns, lawyers > >or therapists. The fact that you need so many > lawyers and therapists shows > >that you're not adult enough to be independent. > Guns should only be handled > >by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort > things out without suing > someone > >or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown > up enough to handle a gun. > > > >> > >> 6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to > own or carry anything more > >dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will > be required if you wish > >to carry a vegetable peeler in public. > >> > >> 7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are > crap and this is for > your > >own good. When we show you German cars, you will > understand what we mean. > >All intersections will be replaced with > roundabouts, and you will start > driving > >on the left with immediate effect. At the same > time, you will go metric > immediately > >and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both > roundabouts and > metrication > >will help you understand the British sense of > humour. > >> > >> 8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol > (which you have been > calling > >"gasoline") -roughly $8/US gallon. Get used to it. > >> > >> 9. You will learn to make real chips. Those > things you call French fries > >are not real chips, and those things you insist on > calling potato chips > are > >properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick > cut, fried in animal fat, > >and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar. > >> > >> 10. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be > more aggressive with > customers. > > > >> > >> 11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on > calling beer is not actually > >beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter > will be referred to > as > >"beer," and European brews of known and accepted > provenance will be > referred > >to as "Lager." American brands will be referred to > as "Near-Frozen Gnat's > >Urine," so that all can be sold without risk of > further confusion. > >> > >> 12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to > cast English actors as > good > >guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast > English actors to play > English > >characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt > English dialogue in "Four > Weddings > >and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having > one's ears removed with > a > >cheese grater. > >> > >> 13. You will cease playing American "football." > There is only one kind > >of proper football; you call it "soccer." Those of > you brave enough will, > >in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some > similarities to American > >"football", but does not involve stopping for a > rest every twenty seconds > >or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of > nancies). > >> > >> Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is > not reasonable to host > an > >event called the "World Series" for a game which > is not played outside of > >America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that > there is a world beyond your > >borders, your error is understandable. > >> > >> 14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been > driving us mad. > >> > >> 15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax > collector) from Her Majesty's > Government > >will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition > of all monies due > backdated > >to 1776. > >> > >> Thank you for your co-operation. > === message truncated === ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 13 Dec 2005 15:46:44 -0800 (PST) From: Derek White Subject: Re: [idealcopy] clash of the titans I e-mailed the BSP website before their Barrow gig, asking about this single and was told they'd be on sale on the night, but they weren't. In fact there was no CD's or recordings of *any* nature to be had at all......just a shedload of T-shirts. In hindsight, I was somewhat disappointed with the band onstage: not much passion infused into the material to distinguish them from the pack, and were to some degree just going through the motions IMO. And they radiated a sorta smug air, reeking of "we're a bit clever, we are" somehow. I found it irritating and not a bit po-faced. Think it speaks volumes that I've not played either album since. Derek ps: Having been persueded of the wisdom of going to see this current version of "The Fall", not least by some listees, it seems any Barrow gig is not a goer for the moment at least. Their booking agent told the prospective promotor the band will not now do *any* tour dates during March, which was the 'window' under discussion. Oh, well...... Maybe next time...... ;-) Oh, and thanks for the heads-up regarding "Aim", Tim. I'll avoid... PaulRabjohn@aol.com wrote: not seen much comment from the BSP massive round these parts , but i read in mojo of the new collaboration between british sea power and those old IC faves the wurzels. apparently a split single is out now , with BSP tackling the epic "i am a cider drinker" whilst the wurzels have a bash at some BSP track i forget the name of. not sure if this is going to be great hilarity or (i fear) a horrendous carcrash , but at least i've gotta say i am curious to give it a listen. i've never been remotely convinced by BSP to be honest , a half-interesting concept but the music just seems dull dull dull. maybe a few "ooh ah ooh ahhhs" might be just what they need ;-) p - --------------------------------- Yahoo! Shopping Find Great Deals on Holiday Gifts at Yahoo! Shopping ------------------------------ End of idealcopy-digest V8 #341 *******************************