From: owner-fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org (fegmaniax-digest) To: fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org Subject: fegmaniax-digest V12 #29 Reply-To: fegmaniax@smoe.org Sender: owner-fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk fegmaniax-digest Sunday, January 26 2003 Volume 12 : Number 029 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: aimee [gSs ] DataBASE: How low can you go? ["Rex.Broome" ] Re: singled out [Jeffrey with 2 Fs Jeffrey ] Re: singled out [Tom Clark ] Re: DataBASE: How low can you go? ["Stewart C. Russell" ] short stories, skank you's, waltzing [Sabina Carlson ] Re: Doctorin' the guitarist [Christopher Gross ] serial dead-horse beater strikes again! [Jeffrey with 2 Fs Jeffrey Subject: Re: aimee anyone going to see that mann girl tonight? gSs ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 13:55:03 -0800 From: "Rex.Broome" Subject: DataBASE: How low can you go? How about albums by numbers only? I have: One 2 (a few of these) II & III 2 X 4 3 Six Seven 11 11:11 Thirteen 18 77 154 1977 ... and probably some II, III and IV's etc. which eluded my quick search. Plus I have three records called "Life". All of them kind of sad. Someone's gotta have two albums called "Vs." but I myself don't have the Pearl Jam one. One more f*cksong: FFA by Leather Nun. Does not stand for Future Farmers of America. Might as well lay the Frankensteins on ya: Frankenstein - Jad & David Fair Frankenstein - New York Dolls Frankenstein - Edgar Winters Group Frankenstein - Aimee Mann Blood of Frankenstein - Famous Monsters Pride of Frankenstein - Too Much Joy Frankenstein Meets Billy the Kid - Half Japanese ...and of course, Puttin' on the Ritz, as performed by Dr. Frankenstein & the Monster (Wilder & Boyle). - -Rex "I got a million of 'em" Broome ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 16:54:00 -0500 From: Ken Ostrander Subject: Re: singled out >> any real solution would involve completely reworking our educational models. > >the parenting models are by far the ones that need the most reworking. >the real solution comes right back to the real problem, parenting. far too >many of today's parents are incompetent twits who have no idea or desire >to give the effort proper child rearing requires. no system, civic or >otherwise will ever help that correctly. well...if we did educate about sex, we might prevent some of these pregnancies and even teach child-rearing techniques; but you're right that this is a big part of the problem as well. how do you legislate that? we need to apply for a license to drive, practice medicine, and even get married; but any schmuck can copulate. there are some sad statistics regarding the propensity of children to be molested by their own fathers. of course, there are schmucks that also happen to be attorneys and judges: http://www.bostonphoenix.com/boston/news_features/top/features/documents/02643516.htm ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 15:58:53 -0600 (CST) From: Jeffrey with 2 Fs Jeffrey Subject: Re: singled out On Fri, 24 Jan 2003, gSs wrote: > On Fri, 24 Jan 2003, Ken Ostrander wrote: > > any real solution would involve completely reworking our educational models. > > the parenting models are by far the ones that need the most reworking. > the real solution comes right back to the real problem, parenting. far too > many of today's parents are incompetent twits who have no idea or desire > to give the effort proper child rearing requires. no system, civic or > otherwise will ever help that correctly. I agree. That's why I favor mandatory sperm banking for all men, followed by an exhaustive battery of physical, mental, and psychological tests, after which the sperm of those deemed unqualified to reproduce shall be destroyed. The remaining, fit sperm will be cloned with Raelian technology, and the men will be universally chemically castrated. All women will be similarly tested, with those most fit drafted into the MotherCorps, while all the rest are sterilized. Of course, we can't trust the government to do any of this - so in the best libertarian tradition, we'll let for-profit businesses handle all aspects of this task, since the all-seeing, all-knowing, and ever-beneficent market can do no wrong. Mandatory masturbation commences immediately. - --Jeffrey with 2 Fs Jeffrey J e f f r e y N o r m a n The Architectural Dance Society www.uwm.edu/~jenor/ADS.html ::Solipsism is its own reward:: __Crow T. Robot__ ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 14:12:33 -0800 From: Tom Clark Subject: Re: singled out on 1/24/03 1:58 PM, Jeffrey with 2 Fs Jeffrey at jenor@uwm.edu wrote: > Mandatory masturbation commences immediately. OK, now what? - -t "anybody got a tissue?" c ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 17:13:03 -0500 From: "Stewart C. Russell" Subject: Re: DataBASE: How low can you go? Rex Broome wrote: > > How about albums by numbers only? hmm -- to participate would mean that I have to admit to -- at one point -- owning 90125, by Yes. So I won't. I know *why* it's called 90125, but not why they called it 90125. Stewart ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 12:16:42 +1300 From: grutness@surf4nix.com (James Dignan) Subject: Effin' songs and album titles. >Certainly impressive database work by all concerned. I would admit to being >able to pick a few of those mentioned by having the f-bomb in the song name, >but there's a goodly number too that leap to my mind because of their wildly >gratuitous (and non-title) use of the word. My faves: ye ghods - if we're gonna list these as well we'll be here all day. Personal favourites in this category, though, are possibly "Closer to God" by Nine Inch Nails, and "Working class hero" by John Lennon. Now there's an unlikely pairing. >James Dignan wrote: >> As for albums, I have two called True Colo(u)rs (one of each >> spelling), two called Legend, two called Love Songs, and used to have >> two called A. I have a feeling there's another pair of identically >> titled albums in my collection too, but what they are...? > >Let it Be? sadly I only have the Beatles "Let it be". I do, however, have "Let it bee" by Voice of the Beehive, so that almost counts. Two obvious sets of several albums with the same title that I have are "Peter Gabriel" and "House of Love". I seem to have two each called "Cut", "Thirteen", "Blood", and "Time and tide", and both "Pearl" and "The pearl". The one I was trying to remember, though, was either "Mainstream" (Lloyd Cole, Quiet Sun) or "Beat" (Chris Knox, King Crimson). There may be others, but I've got bored with looking. Talking of similar titles, I recently saw an album of kletzmer-ised 60s classics. The title? "Israeli gears". >I always held with Romana #2, >forget the actress's name. And Sarah Jane was cute. Thus began my >infatuation with British women. Lalla Ward and Elizabeth Sladen respectively. >Mark E. Smith MUST play Davros. but to play that part he'd have to be, um, totally wired... James (who has neither of last year's big-selling albums called "Up") James Dignan, Dunedin, New Zealand. =-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-= .-=-.-=-.-=-.- .-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-. -.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-= You talk to me as if from a distance =-.-=-. And I reply with impressions chosen from another time -=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=- (Brian Eno - "By this River") ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 15:21:08 -0800 From: Eb Subject: interestin readin for Bawbfanz A review by Roger Ebert PARK CITY, Utah--"Do you consider yourself a photographer?" asked Tom Bernard. He is the co-honcho of Sony Classics. I held up my camera and shrugged. "Good," he said, "Dylan wants a photographer backstage right now. Come with me." This is like hearing that George Bush wants to meet a liberal, While photographers for People, Entertainment Weekly and Premiere were surging against the barricades, Bernard led me backstage to the Green Room at the big Eccles Center. There are two premieres every night at Eccles. Big stars come and go. Only Bob Dylan inspired a media riot. His new movie "Masked and Anonymous" was premiering, and two days earlier the volunteer ushers were warning me, "It's gonna be crazy." Consider. Dylan has never made a hit feature. He is indeed the fountainhead of half the popular music of the last four decades, but the flow has long since reached the sea. Yet it's clear he's the biggest star at Sundance. Bernard and I made our way through the backstage gloom to the Green Room. The door opened. I looked inside, and it was like a Jack Davis drawing for Mad magazine--one of those drawings where dozens of stars elbow each other for floor space. I saw (in alphabetical order) Bob Dylan, John Goodman, Daryl Hannah, Jessica Lange, Luke Wilson, Penelope Cruz, Laura Elena Harring, Val Kilmer, Mickey Rourke and Christian Slater. All but Hannah appear in the movie. A star-studded cast, you say? Ah, but the movie also stars (in alphabetical order) Jeff Bridges, Angela Bassett, Steven Bauer, Bruce Dern, Ed Harris, Shawn Michael Howard, Reggie Lee, Cheech Marin, and Chris Penn. Alas, Bob Dylan's need for a photographer was no longer operational. Geoffrey Gilmore, director of the festival, asked the group to leave for the auditorium, and as they filed past me I looked through my viewfinder for Dylan, but could not find him. I did however get photos of Daryl Hannah, Penelope Cruz and Laura Elana Harring, which was considerable consolation. In the wings of the stage, I finally found Dylan, his hair falling down from within a Billabong knit hat. He wore a leather jacket and a winter scarf and looked as happy as a man unexpectedly delayed on his way to his execution. As director Larry Charles of "Seinfeld" fame introduced his cast, there was applause for everyone--the atmosphere was electric--but a roar and then a standing ovation for Dylan, before the movie had even started. Then we all settled in to watch what Charles described as "a work in progress." It's a work, all right, but progress eludes it. Dylan stars as Jack Fate, a singer once famous, now on the skids, who is recruited by promoter John Goodman to do a benefit concert in a war zone of a Third World nation (downtown Los Angeles supplied the locations). Dylan travels to the concert by bus, wearing a quasi-military uniform that looks like a khaki version of a Michael Jackson castoff. Once there, he is plunged into a plot involving Angela Bassett as his father's former lover, Jeff Bridges as an insulting journalist, Penelope Cruz as Bridges' wife, and Jessica Lange as Goodman's assistant or wife, I'm not sure which, who is another example of the movie character who is required to smoke all the time in every single scene, as a trait. No one else in the movie smokes at all. "Masked and Anonymous" can be described as homage, if you are a Dylan fan, or idolatry, if you are not. His character is treated by all the others as an awesome legend. He occupies his scenes like a judge, gazing at the others as if measuring their worthiness to share the frame with him. How is Dylan as an actor? It is impossible to tell, because he never has dialogue that is more than one sentence in length, never engages in actual conversation with any of the others, and looks enigmatic and/or ridiculous in a second braided and buttoned Michael Jackson castoff and an oversize cow boy hat. A similar costume might be appropriate for the band members at an impoverished southwestern high school. Charles uses an unvarying strategy to shoot Dylan: Let Goodman, for example, fulminate and expostulate; cut to Dylan; Dylan utters enigmatic one-liner; cut away. Occasionally this format is interrupted by Dylan dead-panning a song, and the songs are indeed good to hear, although it is a little puzzling why he thinks a revolutionary war zone in the Third World needs to hear "Dixie." "Masked and Anonymous" is one of the oddest movies I have ever seen. Obviously everyone involved in it was besotted, if not mesmerized, by Dylan. All of those big stars must have agreed to their cameos because this was Dylan's first dramatic role since--I dunno, Peckinpah's "Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid" (1973). It's a little sad to see them acting their hearts away in scenes where Dylan sits there like a toad, impassive, unmoving, oracular, waiting for the closeup in which he utters yet another oblique epigram. The thing that comes across is his lack of generosity. If the party is in your honor, you should make an effort to have a good time. Dylan seems to be appearing as a favor. Whether he wrote his dialogue or someone else did, he might have suggested that Jack Fate be given more dimension,more depth, more humanity, more...words. As the Goodman character prepares for the big benefit concert, he introduces Jack Fate's warm-up acts, which include a magician, a "rubber woman," a ventriloquist, and celebrity lookalikes of the Pope, Abraham Lincoln, and Gandhi. These last three stand around pointlessly. How much wiser if a celebrity lookalike of Dylan had also been used, and Jack Fate had been portrayed by somebody who came to play? ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 20:42:21 -0500 From: Sabina Carlson Subject: short stories, skank you's, waltzing speaking of dylan..... in language arts we read a short story called "where are you going where have you been?" by joyce carol oates. in the front is says, "to bob dylan". anyone know anything about this? i bet robyn would know.... thank you ( or skank you! :-) either way!) to everyone who gave me tips on the robyn songs for ska kids! i was kicking myself that i didn't realize some of those things. and everyone seems to be talking bout "a can of bees" but i don't have that album!!!! :-( i know i know i have some record searching to do. maybe i'll have some time now that second marking peroid and midterms are over. i don't think anybody listened to me the last time i told people to put on robyn hitchcock and dance to it, but maybe you'll listen today with a new request: everyone find a loved one, relative, broom, or invisible person, put tom waits on your stereo, and dance. try "please call me, baby". believe me, it's good therapy. maybe instead of all those therapy and counciling sessions everyone is talking about we should all just play tom waits or bob dylan or louis armstrong. i always said the world would be a better place if everyone listened to bob marley. alas, our world doesn't waltz to the same music as i do, so i guess i'll just dance by myself and work around that part. and it's only a poisonous plant, sabina sheena ps: for those who don't know "skank" or "skanking" is a type of dance usually done at ska or punk rock shows (or occaisionally, the slow reggae skankin at the reggae concerts). don't get offended unless you don't like people kicking in circles. :-) ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 22:03:01 -0600 From: Jeffrey with 2 Fs Jeffrey Subject: Re: How to tune an okapi (various titles) > James Dignan wrote: > > As for albums, I have two called True Colo(u)rs (one of each > > spelling), two called Legend, two called Love Songs, and used to have > > two called A. I have a feeling there's another pair of identically > > titled albums in my collection too, but what they are...? Up? (R.E.M., Gabriel...uh, and Shania Twain) ..Jeff J e f f r e y N o r m a n The Architectural Dance Society www.uwm.edu/~jenor/ADS.html :: it's not your meat :: --Mr. Toad np: 2nd above: way better than I would have guessed, actually ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 22:14:26 -0600 From: Jeffrey with 2 Fs Jeffrey Subject: Re: Doctorin' the guitarist Quoting "Rex.Broome" : > Best lame film dub for the above obscenity: in the TV version of > "Presumed > Innocent", the nickname "Judge Motherfucker" was changed to "Judge > Sumthinorother". Goshdarn, that's funny. I once saw a version of _Repo Man_ on TBS or something that had been edited hilariously - I unfortunately can't remember details, but Harry Dean Stanton's speeches were particularly humorous in this regard. Okay, someone help me out here: five to ten years ago, one of the many very lame attempted sketch comedies foisted by Comedy Central upon the public featured one skit that was actually funny. Set-up was a play - very angsty, urban, slice-of-life, Mamet-esque...only the gag was, all the "bad" language had been changed. The acting was, of course, completely over the top - I remember one character clutching his head and writhing about, yelling near the top of his lungs, "oh POOPIE! POOPIE! POOPIE!!" Although I wasn't thirteen at the time, I remember being in hysterics watching this. Anyone have the first idea what the hell this was, or am I hallucinating again? ..Jeff J e f f r e y N o r m a n The Architectural Dance Society www.uwm.edu/~jenor/ADS.html :: we make everything you need, and you need everything we make ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 23:27:53 -0500 (EST) From: Christopher Gross Subject: Re: Doctorin' the guitarist On Fri, 24 Jan 2003, Jeffrey with 2 Fs Jeffrey wrote: > I once saw a version of _Repo Man_ on TBS or something that had been edited > hilariously - I unfortunately can't remember details, but Harry Dean > Stanton's speeches were particularly humorous in this regard. Oh, yes -- If it's the same edit I saw, they changed "motherfucker" to "melon farmer." That really tickled me. They chose something that is pronounced similarly to the original, sounds insulting, and at the same time is silly enough to mock the whole idea of dubbing over obscenities. Heck, I almost prefer "melon farmer" to the original! - --Chris ______________________________________________________________________ Christopher Gross On the Internet, nobody knows I'm a dog. chrisg@gwu.edu ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2003 22:39:32 -0600 From: Jeffrey with 2 Fs Jeffrey Subject: serial dead-horse beater strikes again! Quoting Ken Ostrander : > > kay: > >So what measures do Fegs who didn't like mine, advocate? Most of Ken's suggestions are good; however... > of > course, sometimes people get falsely acccused; but given the choice > between that and another child becoming a victim, i think i'd err on the > side of the former. people who are in these positions should be making > every effort to avoid any hint of impropriety. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to read up on the "ritual Satanic child abuse" scare of the '80s. Short version: no such thing, and plenty of innocent people's lives ruined (including some children's, probably, who were led on to testify to horrible, but fictitious, acts - the process of being led on and having to testify to same no doubt being pretty traumatic in itself). The numbers on child abuse and child porn are routinely exaggerated in the media - since doing so stirs up exactly the kind of emotionally intense reactions we've just been through in this very group, and in a commercial context, that kind of intensity is a profit engine. Tales of the sick stranger seducing children present a very clean good/evil break...and are much easier to fulminate about, as opposed to the reality that most children who are abused are victimized by their own families, not strangers on the internet etc. Given these social paramaters, any approach to stopping child porn that cavalierly sets aside the harm done by such false accusations is likely to harm far more than it helps. As to "make every effort to avoid any hint of impropriety": children need physical affection (the good kind), and social policies which prohibit teachers, day-care workers, even relatives other than the parents (hell, even the *parents*) from, say, giving a child a hug may well cause harm, too. The fact is, very few people are actually interested in child porn - and of those, very few would actually harm a child. And consider those cases you read about the FBI agent posing as a seductive 13-year-old to catch some loner guy who agrees to meet "her" at a hotel room in the middle of nowhere: is it a good idea to entice these folks to commit crimes they might not commit otherwise? ..Jeff J e f f r e y N o r m a n The Architectural Dance Society www.uwm.edu/~jenor/ADS.html :: When the only tool you have is an interociter, you tend to treat :: everything as if it were a fourth-order nanodimensional sub-quantum :: temporo-spatial anomaly. :: --Crow T. Maslow ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 00:51:23 -0500 From: "Maximilian Lang" Subject: Camper Van Macedhoven or Philly does it again Tonight I had the pleasure of seeing a band I thought I would never see play live, Camper Van Beethoven. I am not going to bore you all with the details of the incredible show, it really blew my mind. The first set was 85 minutes. They took a 20 minute break and came out for a second set. They were chugging along, playing wonderfully,just a joy. About twenty minutes into the show David Lowery throws his guitar and glasses down and says something like "that's it, someone sprayed me with mace" and ran off stage. The rest of the band just stood there for a couple of minutes and left. I am in shock here, why in gods name would someone do this? I hate to say it but is such a Philadelphia style incident, I am really embarrassed. In shocked disbelief, Max _________________________________________________________________ Help STOP SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 14:39:09 +0000 From: "Maurer Rose, Inverse Nome" Subject: Camper Van Macedhoven / a seafood dinner in Philly Max on the Philly Camper concert. >I am in shock here, why in gods name would someone do this? I hate to say >it but is such a Philadelphia style incident, I am really >embarrassed. I heard about this first thing at work this morning. My informant also says there were some real boozos out heckling earlier. Plus, as you said, it was a really great concert up till that point. How horrid. - ---------------------- On a more positive note, Mike and I had the pleasure of dining with traveling-man, fellow-Feg Dolph Chaney last night. What a great guy. If half of us are half-way as intelligent, funny and sweet as he is, we are a great group indeed. - ------------------------ In the midst of dinner I found myself recing "Chicago" to him, and then realized I'd forgotten to mention it here. It combines Fosse choreogrphy with fast, razzle-dazzled editing to make a perfect, deliciously-sexual evillll cartoon. I love black humor, it reminds us how the devil thinks life would be if the devil(and Robyn's devil fits the metaphor here)had his way. Plus its proof that the musical is no longer being revived. Its ALLLIVVE. - ---------------------- Since Ive had my say on "the" topic I will keep my comments down to this. Ken, I agree with much of what you said, but not all. JeFF, I disagree with much of what you said, but not all. Kay _________________________________________________________________ Add photos to your e-mail with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*. http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 10:14:30 -0500 From: "Maximilian Lang" Subject: Re: Camper Van Macedhoven / a seafood dinner in Philly >From: "Maurer Rose, Inverse Nome" >Subject: Camper Van Macedhoven / a seafood dinner in Philly >Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 14:39:09 +0000 > >Max on the Philly Camper concert. >>I am in shock here, why in gods name would someone do this? I hate to say >>it but is such a Philadelphia style incident, I am really >embarrassed. > >I heard about this first thing at work this morning. My informant also says >there were some real boozos out heckling earlier. Plus, as you said, it was >a really great concert up till that point. How horrid. It was indeed a great concert and would have likely been over 2 1/2 hours(it was at the 2 hour mark when it happened). As for the heckling, I wasn't near the people doing it but it seemed fairly good natured. I didn't think it was mean, maybe if anything Lowery was a bit sarcastic in his banter. Thats not to say he was mean, he was very funny and not deserving of a macing at all. Max _________________________________________________________________ Help STOP SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2003 08:57:06 -0500 From: Fric Chaud Subject: Re: Camper Van Macedhoven / a seafood dinner in Philly On 25 Jan 2003 at 14:39, Maurer Rose, Inverse Nome wrote: > > On a more positive note, Mike and I had the pleasure of dining with > traveling-man, fellow-Feg Dolph Chaney last night. What a great guy. > If half of us are half-way as intelligent, funny and sweet as he is, > we are a great group indeed. > I am certain that I am half as intelligent, funny and sweet as any here. Thank! NP: 1755 - -- Fric Chaud ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 26 Jan 2003 10:42:59 -0600 From: Jeffrey with 2 Fs Jeffrey Subject: potentially stupid question, with actual Soft content Okay, several months ago I downloaded the MP3s that were on the underwatermoonlight.com site. I never actually listened to them, cuz I was swamped busy...but at one point I'd arranged them in a playlist on Media Jukebox, which listed each track's time and the total time, so I could figure out how to arrange them in burning a CD. But when it came time to convert the files to wavs and do some minor editing, I discovered that most of the 2001 tour tracks had the last 20-30 seconds truncated. The file info listed in MJ claimed a track was 3:01, say, but there was only 2:38 of music there, cut off before the end. Any idea what happened? Or were they always like that? (Uh-and if there are non-truncated versions of those tracks out there, I might be interested in acquiring them...) - --Jeff J e f f r e y N o r m a n The Architectural Dance Society www.uwm.edu/~jenor/ADS.html :: PLEASE! You are sending cheese information to me. I don't want it. :: I have no goats or cows or any other milk producing animal! :: --"raus" ------------------------------ End of fegmaniax-digest V12 #29 *******************************