From: owner-fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org (fegmaniax-digest) To: fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org Subject: fegmaniax-digest V10 #342 Reply-To: fegmaniax@smoe.org Sender: owner-fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk fegmaniax-digest Wednesday, September 12 2001 Volume 10 : Number 342 Today's Subjects: ----------------- the horror [Ken Ostrander ] Re: Security [Viv Lyon ] Re: wow, have you seen this? [HAL ] more pop-culture observations [HAL ] yesterday ["s.mary" ] Re: wow, have you seen this? [strange little woj ] yog-sototh ["Andrew D. Simchik" ] Violation of civil liberty? ["Gene Hopstetter, Jr." ] axis to grind [Michael Wolfe ] Re: wow, have you seen this? [Eb ] Re: wow, have you seen this? [Ken Weingold ] a day in the life ["s.mary" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 19:29:32 -0400 From: Ken Ostrander Subject: the horror numbness...that's my reaction to this bizzarro movie madness. all of the violent hollywood images i've seen could not prepare me for this reality tv. my heart goes out to the people on those planes, those trapped in and under the buildings, and especially to those who have lost loved ones. my own feelings are so muddled, i can understand the diversity of reactions. i have to say that despite my shock and horror, i'm not all that suprised. the targets of the pentagon and the world trade center are so powerful because they are so symbolic. not only have the twin towers of world banking been leveled to the ground; the home of army intelligence was crushed. none of this will really affect the ability of the u.s. to carry on as before; yet the ideas are inescapable. this is the worst single day in our country's history; but it's not much compared to the suffering of other cultures and people that have been caused by americans. is it just a coincidence that exactly 28 years to the day before, the CIA overthrew the democratic government of chile? i've seen film footage of the planes bombing the capital city and it was even more disturbing than yesterday's films. the bombing of hiroshima and nagasaki completely destroyed those civilian populations. and the massacre of the native people of the americas since 1492 is just mindboggling. i guess that i'm saying we don't know how good we have it and we don't seem to understand our history. i don't claim to know who is responsible (funny how no one seems to be talking about the possiblity of an american group) for this heinous act of violence; but i understand it. i don't condone it; but i do see why it happened. i don't for a minute think that the violence is not going to escalate. (i hope it doesn't) all day yesterday, i was expecting a national state of emergency to be declared and some nebulous government acronym to take over our lives as government buildings were quartered off. already this tragedy has brought americans together (despite the bitching) in sorrow and fear; but there is a danger that we will be blinded to the great many things that are wrong with our country as all focus is placed on a military solution. it seems like business as usual; but i think that nothing is ever going to be the same again. watching those clips over and over yesterday from every conceivable angle was completely surreal. listening to dubya try and comfort the nation was a bit much for me. don delillo's 'the underworld' seemed to tie in a little too easily. dylan's new album has been playing constantly. and finally, on a more pleasant note, two friends of mine gave birth yesterday. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 16:44:45 -0700 (PDT) From: Viv Lyon Subject: Re: Security On Wed, 12 Sep 2001, The Great Quail wrote: > Capuchin writes, > > >Quite frankly, I think airport security in the US is the most intrusive > >thing we should allow as it stands... any "enhancement" to those security > >systems would just be further violation of civil liberty. > >Our very best move toward preventing future attacks is elimination of the > >inequalities and tyrannies that cause people to lash out against perceived > >power. When there is equality, there is no power to lash out against. > > Yes, well, until we establish world peace and turn the United States > over to you to run, so we can finally become an enlightened nation > loved by one and all, I will happily sacrifice a few moments of > inconvenience at an airport if even ONE out of the next fifty > hijackers are caught. For all of you who think Jeme and I march in lock-step over every issue, I have some shocking news: I agree with Quail that airport security should be stepped up. Considerably, even. I want civil liberties protected as much as the next guy (perhaps more, I suppose), but I really don't think it's anyone's right to carry anything on board a plane that could be construed as a weapon. You want to bring a knife with you to Phoenix? Fine. Pack it in your suitcase, not your carry-on. I told someone today that I would tolerate a two hour pre-flight check-in to ensure that no one on board the plane had a physical object which they could use to hijack it. Then I had an uncomfortable thought- what about someone who is excedingly well-trained in judo or some equivalent martial art? Their body is a deadly weapon (or so I've been told by movies and such). How can we prevent something like that? Well, the ugly fact is that we can't. I've heard about the 70's, when they had "term deputy US marshals," but I was under the impression that they flew on the airplane. Jesus, that's gotta be expensive, I thought. But it turns out they only ever employed 250 deputies at 33 airports (all told, not apiece), and they didn't fly on the plane. So how would they stop a seriously determined person on board? Should we train pilots and stewards in self-defense? I'm sort of joking, but mostly serious. What can really be done? Given the total failure of our massive intelligence services to detect even a glimmer of the communications that were necessary for organizing this attack, it doesn't look like these people used modern channels for communication (phones, computer, radio), but rather relied on the old French Revolution method, secret in-person meetings. How can we stop people from assembling to talk without trampling on some pretty basic freedoms? And how can we possibly infiltrate every extremist group in existence? This all seems rhetorical, of course, but it isn't. If anyone has any ideas, I'm extremely curious. Vivien ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 18:38:03 -0600 From: HAL Subject: Re: wow, have you seen this? > http://www.girlieaction.com/coup/coup-cover-300.jpg > This is (was!) the planned cover for an upcoming album by an Oakland rap > group called "The Coup." No surprise (also) that the SPIDERMAN movie poster and teaser/trailer has been pulled: http://www.comicbookresources.com/news/newsitem.cgi?id=418 /hal, who went for a six-mile solo contemplative hike in Rocky Mountain National Park yesterday (rather than ghoulishly watching the TV coverage) and found no easy answers AND who is now (regrettably) getting some psychological (metaphorical?) bearing by observing how this horror relates to our trivial (but, that's the point!) and disposable American pop-culture ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 18:56:42 -0600 From: HAL Subject: more pop-culture observations My newspaper never arrived today. Anyone else have that problem? I'm wondering if someone didn't swipe it (either a passerby or the delivery person) because it might be a future 'collector's edition'. The paper boxes are (you guessed it) SOLD OUT! Brrr... /hal ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 21:05:09 -0400 From: "s.mary" Subject: yesterday Hello fellow Fegs. I'm sure you are all tired of seeing/hearing about the events of yesterday but I wanted to share with you my experience of yesterday. First off, I'd like to thank everyone for providing so much support yesterday. Without your comforting thoughts and all your concern, I would have been a complete mess. A big thank you to lj, Andrew, and Tim for being there and providing shoulders to cry on when I got home. Also a special thank you to Chris and Bayard for calling my mom to let her know I was alright. This is kind of hard to get out because I'm still somewhat numb from the ordeal. Here's a record of my day, September 11, 2001. I got up early to go vote in the primaries. Coming back from voting I noticed a group of about 5 men outside my apartment building. In August and September, two apartments in my building (5 apts all total) were rented by some Muslims. The men outside the building were some of the new tenants plus a couple of guys I hadn't seen before. When I saw them there I thought of the men who were caught in Brooklyn building a bomb in their apartment and thought, what if these guys are doing something like that in my apartment building? I got really angry at myself for thinking such a racist thought. "How can you think that Mary" I thought to myself, but I must be honest and admit that I did think it. I put Ren, my dog, upstairs and gathered my backpack to head off to work. I arrived at work shortly before 9. Getting out of the subway in front of the New York Stock Exchange, there was nothing out of the ordinary to see - business as usual. I got to my desk and started checking my email. At this time I heard the explosion of the 2nd plane - but not knowing what it was. I then saw James' email asking if the New York Fegs were okay. I couldn't believe what I was reading so I tried to access the cnn website but with no luck. I then checked the New York Times website and they just had one sentence that a plane had crashed into the WTC. I thought it was a tragic accident at this point. By this time a couple of folks had come into the office. One guy was frantic, having just come from the WTC area. He was muttering about bodies and debris. He immediately called his wife and said about 20 times in a row "I'm alright, I'm alright." Another coworkers said she just heard it was 2 planes. Thinking 1 plane was an accident, but when I heard it was 2, I thought "Oh my god, this is intentional." A vice president came in the office and said the building was shutting down. I sent off my email to the Feglist then packed up my laptop and hit the road. I headed over and up Broadway, thinking of catching the subway to Brooklyn. Looking up I could see the top portions of the 2 towers in flames. When I got to Cortlandt Street (one block east of the towers), I stopped with the crowd to really take in what was happening. Debris, singed paper, and ash were raining down on us. Rescue vehicles and fire engines were racing over towards the towers. The police were trying to get the crowd to move uptown saying "this is not a movie, clear the area, go uptown, this is not a movie." Meanwhile, several police were attending to a man who was lying in the road - giving him cpr. I moved up the street to City Hall and thought it best to join the crowd trying to cross the Brooklyn Bridge. I ran across the road and started to climb over the iron fencing. Seeing my difficulty (I was in a short skirt and shoes with heels, plus lugging a laptop bag with my backpack) several men reached out to help me. I made it over the fence and joined the large crowd headed towards Brooklyn. It did amaze me that there was a steady stream of people actually coming into Manhattan. Shortly after starting on the bridge there was a crashing sound and everyone stopped and turned around and watched in horror as the first tower crumbled down. Everyone was stunned. People were screaming, people were crying. Screams of "the bridge, the bridge, we need to get off the bridge" could be heard. I seriously thought I'd be trampled by the mob. Luckily everyone picked up their pace but no one stampeded. I couldn't believe my eyes when this happened. I just wanted to sit and cry but knew I couldn't do that, I had to get home to let my family know I was okay. I was in shock and was having trouble breathing - I thought I'd hyperventilate. I kept telling myself to breathe normally, it will be okay. People around me kept trying to call out on their cell phones but with no luck. Some of the folks coming into Manhattan were saying that the Pentagon had been bombed. Halfway across the bridge an airplane flew over - you could hear a collective intake of breath from everyone on the bridge. It truly scared me to hear that airplane. It also made me angry to think something mundane as the sound of an airplane could cause such fear. It was so surreal. It seemed like it was a scene from a movie or from a science fiction story. By now a cloud of white dust was raining on all of us. It was hard to breath - I kept coughing and it was irritating my eyes. I thought, "what if this is radioactive or harmful chemicals?" I'm sure others were thinking the same thing as the pace across the bridge quickened even more. Finally I made it off the bridge and continued my trek home. I got to my apartment and tried to call my family but the lines were down. I got my dog and we headed over to lj and Allen's place. Ash was really coming down now, I was having more trouble breathing and my eyes really hurt. My hair felt thick with it. As I approached their place I saw lj outside her door. I ran to her and broke down sobbing on her shoulder. She just held me tight and comforted me. I went inside and did the same thing on Andrew's shoulder. They had the tv on and it was at then that I learned that the second tower had gone down. I tried to call my family in Maryland but the lines were all down. I tried to send an email to my sister-in-law but it kept getting bounced. I managed to get an email through to Chris G and he and Bayard tried to call me mom - Chris eventually got through. Later in the day I managed to get a call through to her. The rest of the day/evening was spent watching tv in horror. I was still in shock and kept trying not to cry - I was successful for the most part. During the day folks kept trickling in, escaping Manhattan, each with their own tale of horror. Today, (9/12) I went outside my bedroom window to what I call my "back patio" - the roof of a room in the apartment below mine. There were charred bits of paper there, white dust covered the floor. I climbed up on my roof to take a picture of the new New York skyline. Now watching CNN, I see that the skyline might change even more as there is danger of more building collapsing. I'm still in shock, but doing better. Here's a link to some pictures and my path home: http://www.loona.net/shh/911.htm Thanks for letting me share this with you. I sincerely hope that all your loved ones and friends are accounted for. s.m ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 21:09:09 -0400 From: strange little woj Subject: Re: wow, have you seen this? in a similar vein, . +w ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 18:27:09 -0700 From: "Andrew D. Simchik" Subject: yog-sototh seems to be out already, no? >From: Capuchin > >Our very best move toward preventing future attacks is elimination of the >inequalities and tyrannies that cause people to lash out against perceived >power. When there is equality, there is no power to lash out against. I assume you are not proposing here that "equality" (economic? social? political? physical? sexual? technological?) would bring about lasting peace. Perhaps I'm just cynical but I don't believe it's in human nature to be fully satisfied with mere equality. You might be, I might be, but that greedy bastard over there will always want to be more equal than us. Inequality and tyranny are two motives for violence, but not having all that one person (group, country) can stuff into its pockets seems to be a pretty popular one. I think you would claim that it's the one "we" (the US) have for "our" activities. Equality would probably prevent future attacks if we assume that the US is Satan and its enemies are holy. >I'm sure NBC news is doing whatever it can to drum up sales for GE-built >weapons of mass destruction. Your tone makes me think you're quite confident that we are much more, obscenely more powerful than our as-yet-uncertain enemy. That our choices are simple: stretch down our mighty thumb and wipe out this enemy, or change our ways and shower our enemy with gold. And that because we like our gold, and because we can stimulate our economy by stretching down our thumb, we're going with the thumb option. Either way, we have nothing better to do now than sit back in our office chairs and drop cynical remarks about the slobbering 69 between the media and industry. It's gonna be taken care of. Nothing to worry about except our continued Olympian excess. I guess I would have thought this reasonable except for the fact that our insignificant enemy killed so many of us so (as you say) easily and with such light brigades. I don't really feel like a citizen of a big invulnerable bully country right now. That feeling would be a lot safer than the one I actually feel. >From: "ross taylor" > >A BUREAUCRAT I really like it. Incidentally: if you were automatically disqualified from giving blood before, you still are now. There have been rumors that these disqualifiers have been suspended; they have not. Those of us who are men who have had sex with a man since 1977 will have to give in other ways, which are at least less painful. Drew - -- Andrew D. Simchik, drew at stormgreen dot com http://www.stormgreen.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 21:04:58 -0500 From: "Gene Hopstetter, Jr." Subject: Violation of civil liberty? >From: Capuchin >Subject: Re: Discomfort > >Quite frankly, I think airport security in the US is the most intrusive >thing we should allow as it stands... any "enhancement" to those security >systems would just be further violation of civil liberty. Respectfully, Mr. Capuchin, I think these violations have already begun, but it doesn't bother me (as of today). A lot of my ideas about "civil" and "liberty" changed on September 11, 2001, when terrorists destroyed the World Trade Center and thousands of American lives, with our own airplanes. I feel smaller, threatened, and vulnerable. But I also feel I can be stronger and more secure. I think the New Cold War began yesterday. Our new enemies are religious fanatics, smallpox, nuclear weapons, and now, the very technology we depend on. After Tuesday, we can no longer ignore them, or pretend they're in the background, or somebody else's problem. Our new enemies are everywhere, in plain sight, and invisible. And now that our technology has been used against us, we're going to have to watch it very, very carefully. And that includes airplanes. Right now, what I use to think were affronts to my civil liberty (the greed of the pharmaceutical companies, the religious Right, DVD encryption, etc.) now seem trivial. I want to be able to know that I won't die a horrible death under a nuclear ICBM or smallpox-infected suitcase. And right now, today, I support what the government deems necessary to make me feel secure. The FBI is already installing Carnivore boxes at ISPs (). Cell phone conversations are being scanned ("CNN reported on television broadcast earlier today that the NSA was now going through volumes of recorded cellular calls for calls made by passengers on the planes. Clear admission." -- from Slashdot). Who knows what other new surveillance is occurring right now. Things are going to be very, very strange on the Internet for the rest of the year. It doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy -- it makes me more cautious -- but considering what's happened, I understand it. Given the choice between trusting my government and hoping some religious zealots across the planet don't make my life any more miserable, I'll choose my government. They care more about me than Pakistan, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Hussein, or bin Laden do. I didn't vote for Bush, but I do believe he, and the government, are working very hard to keep me safe. And I'll do what I can to support them. "It's hard to explain / so much pain / I could never show it..." -- John Lennon ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 17:52:00 -0700 (PDT) From: Michael Wolfe Subject: axis to grind Chris, here's a simple example of what I meant, re: reason versus justification. I see a VW and punch you on the shoulder, saying "punch buggy". You don't like being punched on the shoulder, pull out a glock and blow me away. Your reason for blowing me away: I punched you on the shoulder. Were you justified in blowing me away? No. You had a reason, but not justification. Now, what I am saying here is, for purposes of this discussion, I refuse to assess whether the US has been punching people on the shoulder, or much much worse. I was just saying that, a) we've punched a lot of people on the shoulder, b), it's not nice to punch folks on the shoulder, and c), maybe we should stop, because some people respond to shoulder punches with glocks. (And yes, for someone to pull a glock because of a 'punch buggy' would make them a madman in addition to having a reason.) >True enough. But I think it's interesting that you, and other >posters in the same vein, are willing to look for the >terrorists' motives and try to understand their point of view, >even though you don't share it; yet you make no similar effort >for *American* actions. You're right; I don't in my post. I simply don't have the time, energy, or resources to write that encyclopedia at this point -- the catalogue of American meddling in foreign countries is long. I have done a lot of reading on the subject, though, and a number of common themes arise. One, in our foreign policy the welfare of the citizens of countries tends to take a backseat to US business interests. Two, for all of our rhetoric, the US has consistently prized *stability* in a country over *democracy*, even in the event that the stability comes in the form of an entrenched, repressive regime (say, South Africa in the 80's). But another part of it is that I didn't want to assess how hard we had 'punched' (and the why's and wherefores) because I didn't want to get into a situation where it looked like I was ascribing blame to the US. I'm not, I don't, I didn't, and I won't. You- hit-me-back-first arguments are stupid. I'm arguing that, once justice is served for those individuals responsible, the buck should stop here. And yeah, I misspelled 'Tomahawk'. Guess I'm not so enraptured with the ins and outs of military hardware as you. >The funny thing is, yesterday's attacks shouldn't even matter to >your main argument, that US foreign policy is evil and should be >changed. If it's evil, we should change it regardless of >whether or not anyone attacks us for it. (And if it's not evil, >then terrorist attacks are certainly not a reason to change it.) > >Though he unfortunately lost his temper yesterday, I think Eb >was right when he expressed his disgust that Capuchin was "using >this catastrophe to grind [his] usual axes"; and I kind of feel >the same way about Michael's argument. (Maybe more saddened >than disgusted.) If nothing else, you have to understand that >arguments that it's all America's fault are going to offend >people right now. If your neighbor just died of lung cancer, >would you go up to his widow at the funeral and say "You know, >it was his own fault for smoking, and this should be a lesson to >quit smoking yourself"? First of all, up yours and up your whole family's for putting words in my mouth suggesting that I said that it's all America's fault. YOUR WORDS, not mine. Now, of the two paragraphs above, to the first one, I say, YES, ABSOLUTELY. SPOT ON. What you miss, though, Chris, is that the attacks *do* matter. The timing *does* matter. We are grieving now. More importantly, we are in REACTION mode right now. There's all this need to DO something. To make sure this NEVER, EVER happens again. Where will all that pent up motivation go? Will it go to exterminating Muslims? Will it be turned inward to look for the next McVeigh or Kascynski candidates? I desperately hope not!! That's where the rhetoric is pointing, Giuliani aside. But what I'm hoping is that people will try to use their grief to bring about some good. For a CONSTRUCTIVE REACTION. You see some of that in all the blood donations, and all the community level support that has been pouring out in the aftermath of this catastrophe. I would see a movement to bring a conscience to US policy as another possibility for a very constructive reaction. It would both be a positive, in and of itself, and might have the benefit that it *does* help prevent something like this from happening again. It certainly would have the virtue of never having been tried. (Well, aside from Woodrow Wilson, bless his patriarchal, imperialist heart.) And, as for the smoking widow, I just might. Especially if I were living in the same house as her and at risk from second-hand smoke myself. AND ESPECIALLY IF SHE WERE MY MOM AND SOMEONE I CARED ABOUT VERY, VERY DEEPLY. She's grieving, the pain is fresh, and she knows that she never wants to lose someone that she loves like that again. You can bet that I'd put it quite a bit more delicately than the words you put into my mouth, however. - -Michael ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 19:57:35 -0700 From: Eb Subject: Re: wow, have you seen this? >> http://www.girlieaction.com/coup/coup-cover-300.jpg > >> This is (was!) the planned cover for an upcoming album by an Oakland rap >> group called "The Coup." Interesting postscript: The album cover has been removed from the above URL, in the short hours since I posted the above link! And not only that page, but the *other* pages on the site relating to that group. I actually saved the picture earlier, purely because I thought this COULD happen. Bingo! Eb ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 23:03:50 -0400 From: Ken Weingold Subject: Re: wow, have you seen this? On Wed, Sep 12, 2001, Eb wrote: > >> http://www.girlieaction.com/coup/coup-cover-300.jpg > > > >> This is (was!) the planned cover for an upcoming album by an Oakland rap > >> group called "The Coup." > > Interesting postscript: The album cover has been removed from the above > URL, in the short hours since I posted the above link! And not only that > page, but the *other* pages on the site relating to that group. > > I actually saved the picture earlier, purely because I thought this COULD > happen. Bingo! Yeah, me too. - -Ken ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 22:24:48 -0500 From: "s.mary" Subject: a day in the life Hello fellow Fegs. My email has been acting up since yesterday so I'm not sure if this got through. I'm sorry if you are receiving this for the second time. I'm sure you are all tired of seeing/hearing about the events of yesterday but I wanted to share with you my experience. First off, I'd like to thank everyone for providing so much support yesterday. Without your comforting thoughts and all your concern, I would have been a complete mess. A big thank you to lj, Andrew, and Tim for being there and providing shoulders to cry on when I got home. Also a special thank you to Chris and Bayard for calling my mom to let her know I was alright. This is kind of hard to get out because I'm still somewhat numb from the ordeal. Here's a record of my day, September 11, 2001. I got up early to go vote in the primaries. Coming back from voting I noticed a group of about 5 men outside my apartment building. In August and September, two apartments in my building (5 apts all total) were rented by some Muslims. The men outside the building were some of the new tenants plus a couple of guys I hadn't seen before. When I saw them there I thought of the men who were caught in Brooklyn building a bomb in their apartment and thought, what if these guys are doing something like that in my apartment building? I got really angry at myself for thinking such a racist thought. "How can you think that Mary" I thought to myself. I put Ren, my dog, upstairs and gathered my backpack to head off to work. I arrived at work shortly before 9. Getting out of the subway in front of the New York Stock Exchange, there was nothing out of the ordinary to see - business as usual. I got to my desk and started checking my email. At this time I heard the explosion of the 2nd plane - but not knowing what it was. I then saw James' email asking if the New York folks were okay. I couldn't believe what I was reading so I tried to access the cnn website but with no luck. I then checked the New York Times website and they just had one sentence that a plane had crashed into the WTC. I thought it was a tragic accident at this point. By this time a couple of folks had come into the office. One guy was frantic, having just come from the WTC area. He was muttering about bodies and debris. He immediately called his wife and said about 20 times in a row "I'm alright, I'm alright." Another coworkers said she just heard it was 2 planes. Thinking 1 plane was an accident, but when I heard it was 2, I thought "Oh my god, this is intentional." A vice president came in the office and said the building was shutting down. I sent off my email to the Feglist then packed up my laptop and hit the road. I headed over and up Broadway, thinking of catching the subway to Brooklyn. Looking up I could see the top portions of the 2 towers in flames. When I got to Cortlandt Street (one block east of the towers), I stopped with the crowd to really take in what was happening. Debris, singed paper, and ash were raining down on us. Rescue vehicles and fire engines were racing over towards the towers. The police were trying to get the crowd to move uptown saying "this is not a movie, clear the area, go uptown, this is not a movie." Meanwhile, several police were attending to a man who was lying in the road - giving him cpr. I moved up the street to City Hall and thought it best to join the crowd trying to cross the Brooklyn Bridge. I ran across the road and started to climb over the iron fencing. Seeing my difficulty (I was in a short skirt and shoes with heels, plus lugging a laptop bag with my backpack) several men reached out to help me. I made it over the fence and joined the large crowd headed towards Brooklyn. It did amaze me that there was a steady stream of people actually coming into Manhattan. Shortly after starting on the bridge there was a crashing sound and everyone stopped and turned around and watched in horror as the first tower crumbled down. Everyone was stunned. People were screaming, people were crying. Screams of "the bridge, the bridge, we need to get off the bridge" could be heard. I seriously thought I'd be trampled by the mob. Luckily everyone picked up their pace but no one stampeded. I couldn't believe my eyes when this happened. I just wanted to sit and cry but knew I couldn't do that, I had to get home to let my family know I was okay. I was in shock and was having trouble breathing - I thought I'd hyperventilate. I kept telling myself to breathe normally, it will be okay. People around me kept trying to call out on their cell phones but with no luck. Some of the folks coming into Manhattan were saying that the Pentagon had been bombed. Halfway across the bridge an airplane flew over - you could hear a collective intake of breath from everyone on the bridge. It truly scared me to hear that airplane. It also made me angry to think something mundane as the sound of an airplane could cause such fear. It was so surreal. It seemed like it was a scene from a movie or from a science fiction story. By now a cloud of white dust was raining on all of us. It was hard to breath - I kept coughing and it was irritating my eyes. I thought, "what if this is radioactive or harmful chemicals?" I'm sure others were thinking the same thing as the pace across the bridge quickened even more. Finally I made it off the bridge and continued my trek home. I got to my apartment and tried to call my family but the lines were down. I got my dog and we headed over to lj and Allen's place. Ash was really coming down now, I was having more trouble breathing and my eyes really hurt. My hair felt thick with it. As I approached their place I saw lj outside her door. I ran to her and broke down sobbing on her shoulder. She just held me tight and comforted me. I went inside and did the same thing on Andrew's shoulder. They had the tv on and it was at then that I learned that the second tower had gone down. I tried to call my family in Maryland but the lines were all down. I tried to send an email to my sister-in-law but it kept getting bounced. I managed to get an email through to Chris G and he and Bayard tried to call my mom - Chris eventually got through. Later in the day I managed to get a call through to her. The rest of the day/evening was spent watching tv in horror. I was still in shock and kept trying not to cry - I was successful for the most part. During the day folks kept trickling in, escaping Manhattan, each with their own tale of horror. Today, (9/12) I went outside my bedroom window to what I call my "back patio" - the roof of a room in the apartment below mine. There were charred bits of paper there, white dust covered the floor. I climbed up on my roof to take a picture of the new New York skyline. Now watching CNN, I see that the skyline might change even more as there is danger of more building collapsing. I'm still in shock, but doing better. Here's a link to some pictures and my path home: http://www.loona.net/shh/911.htm Thanks for letting me share this with you. I sincerely hope that all your loved ones and friends are accounted for. s.m ------------------------------ End of fegmaniax-digest V10 #342 ********************************