From: owner-fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org (fegmaniax-digest) To: fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org Subject: fegmaniax-digest V9 #36 Reply-To: fegmaniax@smoe.org Sender: owner-fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-fegmaniax-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk fegmaniax-digest Saturday, February 12 2000 Volume 09 : Number 036 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Hey Vern, I'm dead. Know what I mean? ["Marc Holden" ] Vote Cthulhu [coco95@senet.com.au] The Kook Report [coco95@senet.com.au] Eye BALL ["brian nupp" ] Re: The Kook Report [Michael R Godwin ] Latin epic [Michael R Godwin ] No clever subject line [Michael Wolfe ] Re: VH1's Midnight Minutes [Tom Clark ] Re: Eye BALL [Glen Uber ] New RH bootleg? [toby ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 00:20:19 -0700 From: "Marc Holden" Subject: Hey Vern, I'm dead. Know what I mean? Does anyone know why Robyn is doing these one-off shows at the Largo? The last time he did that, I think he was finishing up an album. Does he have something in the works? I thought he was going to take time off to finish his book. Also, I just noticed that Eric Idle is going to be coming to Phoenix with something called the Rutland Orchestra. Does anyone know if Neil Innes is going to be part of that? Marc Take away the right to say "fuck" and you take away the right to say, "Fuck the government." ---Lenny Bruce (1925-1966) American comic ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 07:55:14 +0000 (GMT) From: toby Subject: DVD, Jacob Lurch Off topic: if I get a PC with a DVD drive, will I be able to play DVDs from any region? Also, who is/was Jacob Lurch? I seem to remember Robyn saying something about him at last year's Cambridge gig along the lines of "beware the church of Jacob Lurch, cos he's an evil motherfucker"... toby ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 22:24:18 +1030 From: coco95@senet.com.au Subject: Vote Cthulhu This ones for you Gnat . Vote Cthulhu. You know it makes sense. go hither > http://hometown.aol.com/profnoxin/extreme/index.htm and judge for yeself..... feg x ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 22:39:29 +1030 From: coco95@senet.com.au Subject: The Kook Report More cthulhu content . Just thought I'd post ye fegs this little piece I found whilst surfing the net this eve.Its mildly amusing . uncle fegxter The Kook Report - --------------- How wierd are you? Many occultists, pagans, new-agers, geeks, physicists and little old men like to claim that they are wierd, at least when faced with blantantly normal company. But how true is it? After all, there's a lot more to being wierd than just knowing some funky stuff. To see if you actually capture the unhinged feeling of tentative lunacy that makes up geniune wierdness, just go through the following quiz question by question, keeping score. The more points you get, the stranger you are. If you don't understand any of the questions, then you can assume that you scored a 0 for that question. The genuinely wierd may like to email me their scores, although this is not an action that will gain you any bonus points. If this is so in your case, I undertake not to react *too* offensively to such an email, perhaps. - --------- In the following quiz, select the lettered answer a) - f) that most closely corresponds with your actual feelings/attitude/life. You may occasionally be asked to make a choice in advance - do so before reading the answers for maximum effect. Each answer will score from 0 to 5 points, with a) being 0, f) being 5, and b) - e) being 1 - 4 points respectively. This is very intuitively obvious, if you are able to thin about it. You know. c) is 3, yeah? Yeah. You got it. Trust me. 1. MAKE A CHOICE - Select a number between 1 and 100 NOW! You chose: a) 2-4, 6, 9-16, 19-22, 24-41, 43-56 or 58-99 b) 1, 7, 69 or 100 c) 42 d) 23, 5, 17 or 18 e) 8 f) 57 2. I'm going to say "The Illuminatus! Trilogy" to you. a) What is the Illuminatus! Trilogy? b) Oh, that old Yarn by Wilson, right? c) I read the Illuminatus once. It was funny. d) I've read the Illuminatus many, many times. It contains the secrets of the univers, if you look hard enough. e) I own a printed & bound copy of the Principia! f) I sign my name with the letters KNS after it. 3. You're walking down the street, dressed in your favourite clothes. a) Businessmen look upon you as an equal b) No-one pays much attention. Trendy young people snigger slightly. c) Little children look slightly nervous at you. d) Builders and labourers cross the road to avoid passing you. e) A concerned citizen 'phones the police, who send in a SWAT team to take you out. Ha! It does no better than the last three. f) No-one pays much attention, until they try to seduce you. When they see your underwear, those who survive run away very, very fast, and do not talk to anyone about sex ever again. You *do* try to to sit down too much, though. 4. What do you think of Cthulhu? a) Ummm... its a random string of unintelligble letters? b) Monster from Lovecraft's horror fiction. c) Tentacled monster that sleeps imprisoned in a sunked island in the south pacific, waiting to rise again. d) A fascinating magickal egregore, very useful for dream-based rituals to Unknown Kaddath. e) Hng! Hng! Ia! Ia Cthulhu f'thagn! f-f-f-father! YOG SOTHOTH!! f) [Secretive smile] Who? Didn't you come in here to buy a book, sonny, not to ask an old man silly questions? 5. How do you derive your regular income? a) I work in an office. Why? b) I get a grant. c) I'm on welfare hand-outs. d) I deal drugs in Times Square. e) My father, who dies some years ago, left me an inheritance that produces a modest monthly stipend. It isn't fantastic, but it's more than enough to keep my work going without 'dipping into the capital'. f) Money comes to me as and when I need it. The means varies from day to day - yesterday, I found N$3000 (Three Thousand Nigerian Dollars) hiddem inside a cat. 6. Bob? a) Jim? b) Oh yeah, what do you call a disabled guy in a swimming pool, haha. c) Haha! Slack! The Anti-Bob! Kill me! Frop! Hahaha! d) ... Ha! Watch me go! I'm the cosmic neutron gun! Throw my switch and watch _me_ blast you into space, baby! I ate the earth for breakfast, but it tasted crap so I spewed it back up again! Nothing can come close to me, because _I_COME_CLOSE_TO_IT_!! I... e) That'll be $5, please. f) No. 7. MAKE A CHOICE! Select a number between 1 and 10 NOW! You chose: a) 1, 5, 7, 8, 10. b) 3 c) 2 d) 9 e) 6 f) 4 8. Where, to your mind, do 'Strange Phenomena' start being _strange_? a) Anything that science can't explain easily. b) Telepathy. That really wierds me. c) A Rain of Live Frogs. d) Crop Circles appearing in concrete. e) Large demons appearing on live TV and ripping up a politician. f) From the womb onwards, dude. 9. What is Magick? a) David Copperfield. (But you spelt it wrong - no 'k', dumb-head) b) Strange people in silly clothes doing pointless things to chickens. c) Frazer's Law of Sympathy and Law of Contagion. d) The art of causing change in conformity with will. e) All life is Magick. f) Laughter. 10. Do you possess any psychic powers? a) Aw, frag off smeghead. b) No, but I wish I did. c) Well, I am very intuitive and in touch with my femenine nature. d) I know who's on the phone before I answer it. e) Yes, I often get visions which later come true. Bookies hate me. f) Yeehaw! I've nearly got the full set! All I need now is Full-contact Psychometry! Say.. you wouldn't swap me for 2 Telepathys and a Clairvoyance, would you? I could throw in a Green Fingers, too... 11. Do you play any Role-Playing Games? a) Dungeons and Dragons leads to Satanism and suicide. I *way* too smart for that. b) Oh boy, yes! I only stop playing CarWars to go to the toilet once a week! c) Yeah, sure, I've played some role-playing games. They're an interesting exercise. d) I read White Wolf(tm) Rulebooks, but I don't actually play. e) I write role-playing games professionally, as a matter of fact. f) Play??? Look bud, all my best magick was learnt from RPGs! Don't believe me? Watch, then as I fireball your cat! ***WHOOOOOSSSSSSHH*** **WHUMP** *MEEeeoooww......* HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! 12. A typical thing that your parents would say to you is: a) "Hello, dear, it's your mother. When are you bringing the kids round to see us again? I hope you're eating properly... I've been so tired recently." b) "TURN THAT BLOODY NOISE DOWN!" c) "Mph. Snrph. Wassup? Uh? Its 2am, forgodsake!" d) told to you only by mediums, 'cos they're no longer alive. e) "Its who??" f) Nzrgnbit Zipplikaddah Cherbis Gazrag Earth Minnip Koodah Soon. Mwahahah! 13. Do you see auras? a) What they? b) No. c) I tried once or twice, but no luck. d) After 30 minutes naked, alone in a dark room... e) Yes. f) That depends. I had a real mean aura in hear once, it chewed up half the place, and I had to replace the sofa too. How much is it offering? Is it house-trained? 14. If you are going to program a computer, what language do you use? a) Oh, I don't program computers. I use Microsoft. b) BASIC. c) Pascal d) Object-extended C++, with the help of some home-defined libraries. e) I program in bianry, actually. f) COBOL. 15. Let us suppose that you have a long-lost great-aunt, who dies and leaves you something in her will. What would it be? a) Ten Million Dollars. b) A nice house, say 30-40K, some furniture. c) A cat. d) A crumbling old gothic mansion, miles from anywhere, served by a single elderly retainer, just as crumbly. As you drive through the obligatory little village to take possession, all the locals stare at you with a mixture of fear, hope and pity, but all you can think of is the wonderful party you're going to have there at the next full moon with all your Sorority sisters from the Campus. e) A mysterious old envelope, containing three sheets that look suspiciously like an ancient map... f) A peculiar brass casket, sealed with wax and covered with odd heiroglyphs and symbols. Despite repeated urgings, you put it in the attic, unopened, and never touch it again. The matter is never mentioned again, save for a strange new addition to your will that your lawyer receives a short time later. 16. What did you last eat? a) A nice pork chop, with some boiled potato and cabbage. b) Lentil stew with wok-fried beansprouts and a glass of holistic carrot extract. c) A portion of chips. d) A pizza that was delivered to your door by a jumpy delivery guy. e) Some wafers made of a mixture of your own blood, your dog's sexual fluids, burnt parchment and oatmeal bran. f) Somalia. 17. What work of Aleistair Crowley's did you find most illuminating? a) Who? b) Oh, well, actually, I never read any of his stuff yet, but I will real soon. c) Magick in Theory and in Practice d) Diary of a Drug Fiend e) The Book of The Law f) The Book of Lies 18. What is your normal sexual position? a) Ohh. Uhh. Um. My. Um. The missionary, I suppose. b) On top. c) In train toilets. d) In the middle. e) Spread on the altar with a candle up my a** f) Hanging by our feet from a street lamp, with our ears welded together and a pair of moroccan Baboons for light relief. 19. Do you have any pets? a) Yes, a dog. b) No. c) Yes, a cat. d) Yes, six japanese fighting fish, carefully segregated. e) Weellll, sort of - I breed rabbits, goats and black cockerels. I do try not to get too attached to them, though. f) Oh yes, *giggle*, yes indeed. He'd like to see my pets, Igor! Come, come, let me show you. Its much _easier_ that way. 20. Which of the following phrases do you use most often? a) "Isn't the weather dreadful!" b) "No, thanks." c) "A beer, Charlie. Make it a cold one." d) "Oh, I'm sorry. Was that _your_ child? Please, have her back. Good day! I beg your...? Fuck you too, Madam." e) "Ateh! Malkuth! Ve Gevurah! Ve Gedulah! Le Olahm!!" f) "Please come back, little person! I only playing! Ha! Caught you! Oh. You leaking, person! Wake up! Why you all go sleep? No fun! You people so boring!" Now, add up your scores... How did you do? 0 : Mmm. You're normal. You're so straight, you even think in lines. In fact, anyone this normal would have never bothered reading this post, so if you're reading this, you're either curious, stupid, or very, very silly. This level of person is dullsville. 1-20 : Well, you've heard the call of the strange out there, roaming the plains of life. You haven't answered, but at least you didn't assume it was indigestion. This level of score indicates a person who is probably more normal. to be fair, than someone who got 0. If you only got 1 or 2, be *very* careful - its all downhill from here! 21-40 : You're fairly odd. Your normal friends describe you as wierd, and you take it as a compliment. You probably wear black, so as to make a point and slightly worry the people who still remember World War I. You are likely to be interested in strange things, but you never seem to manage to get to grips with them. 41-60 : Definately a bit on the wild side. You are probably a student of paranormal matters. People who get to know you are often surprised that you aren't as striaght as they first thought. Your last girl/boyfriend was scared for 3 weeks after splitting with you, _just_in_case_. You intimidate petty authority figures, such as interviewers, bus conductors and moral rights campaigners. 61-80 : You are undoubtedly odd. You worry your family, and you no longer have any normal friends. When you go on holiday, you chose places like Transylvania, the Sonora desert, McMurdo Sound and the Amazonian rain-forest. You mutter and mumble to yourself in times of stress, and you try not to open your wardrobe too often, in case something comes through... 81-95 : You, my friend, are either several bats short of a belfry, or a dedicated, trained occultist. If there is a difference. Plants wither in your presence, children run away yelping, dogs run away yelping, even chicken run away yelping, for god's sake. You live in a different world to the rest of tha planet, and you like it there. Definately, unashamedly wierd. 96-100 : You are so bizarre that I'm surprised you managed to read this quiz, let alone complete it. Talking to you is rather like trying to carry a basket of live turkies up the side of the Empire States Building in a gale - very hard, extremely dangerous, full of 'gobble-gobble-gobble' noises, and covered in feathers. The last time you stopped long enough to observe the rest of humanity, someone slapped a parking fine on you. You wouldn't know a tax return unless it came up to you and introduced itself to you by clan. Most of them do. <0 or >100 : You are being silly. This post has ended. Give it up. Go get a life, for god's sake! tim@midnight.demon.co.uk ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 09:23:14 EST From: "brian nupp" Subject: Eye BALL I was just listening to Eye this morning on the way to work, and couldn't help but notice how perfect Linctus House is. Then I started to wonder if it was ever done with the Egyptians. Does anyone know what Eye songs RH and the Egyptians have done? Glass hotel, Satalite, and Clean Steve. That's all I can think of. Any Help? Brian P.S. the Glass Hotel site is cooler than ever! ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 14:40:02 +0000 (GMT) From: Michael R Godwin Subject: Re: The Kook Report I scored an unconvincing 28 ("you are failing to get to grips with anything") which is about right. But I feel that I should get some bonus points for owning a Crowley book - the novel 'Moonchild' - which isn't on the Kook list. If I give myself an extra two points, say, that gives me - let's see - an unconvincing 30 ("you are failing to get to grips with anything"). Oh all right, I think I'm getting the message. Back to the wok-fried mange touts ... - - Mike Godwin PS Do I get any _more_ bonus points for that whole shelf-ful of Dion Fortune books including the near-unreadable 'Psychic Self-Defence'? PPS Anyone compiling a quiz like that should really learn to spell 'weird'. PPPS Latin epic to follow ... ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 15:21:49 +0000 (GMT) From: Michael R Godwin Subject: Latin epic This was written by Paul Jennings at the time when 'Quo Vadis?' came out (sometime in the 50s?). Translations at the end if you don't know your ablative singular from your nominative plural - Mike Godwin Quo Vadis? by Paul Jennings The stills and posters to advertise MGM's _Quo Vadis_ ... all looked curiously unreal. I thought of the queue in togas at the studio restaurant, of the obvious gap between modern America and ancient Rome. And it was then that I thought of my film, which will bridge this gap by having the dialogue in Latin. It is called _Balbi Murus_ (translation in footnote a). It is the story of a young engineer, Balbus, who has been commissioned by a Government agency, known by its initials SPQR, to build a wall, that the city may be defended against the Carthaginians. It is the story of his love for Julia (_Balbus amat Juliam_) who is the daughter of Marcellus, a prominent member of the SPQR. It also tells of the lone fight of these three against big-time graft in the heart of the world's mightiest empire. But read on. The film opens with Marcellus making a passionate speech to the wavering SPQR, who have already delyed there decision about the wall for three years. He warns of the danger from the Carthaginians, and ends with a great peroration. This is above politics, he says: _'Hoc est aliquid magnum, majus omnibus nobis. Per totam orbem, sunt milia milia populorum; parvi populi, solum similes nobis, cum hoc spe in cordibus suis'_(b). The SPQR applaud warmly. The contract is given to Balbus, and it is while they are crowding round to congratulate him that he first sees Julia. It is love at first sight. '_Nonne aliquis tibi dixit te pulchram esse?_' (c) he asks. He dates her for the evening. '_Ego te feram ad parvum locum quem cognosco, solum nos duo_' (d). '_Ubi fuistis omnem vitam meam?_' (e) asks Julia. But this idyll is shattered by the machinations of a grafter called Caesar Romerus, of whom Balbus has alrady been warned by Julia: '_Iste homo est periculosus_' (f). Romerus puts the word about that Marcellus, who is a stone merchant, is supplying Balbus with faked stones, made of plaster, for the wall. Balbus, angered by the rumours, goes down to inspect the wall, and finds to his horror that they _are_ faked stones. That night, dining with Julia, he is moody. '_Num est altera mulier?_' (g) she asks. He confesses his doubts about her father's honesty, and there is a quarrel in which he accuses her of making love to him to shield Marcellus. '_Nolo talem amorem_' (h). '_O mel, da mihi fracturam, et tibi demonstrabo quod non est vere. Mel, debes audire_' (i) she implores. But Balbums is unmoved. '_Hoc est vale_' (j) he grates. Broken-hearted, Julia walks home alone. She hears voices coming from a cellar, and listens. It is Romerus and his associates, who are in league with the Carthaginians, plotting to substitute more fake stones. Startled, she cries: '_Sic illud est ludus tuus_' (k). Romerus hears the intruder, and she is caught. '_Tu mane ex hoc, soror_' (l) he snarls as she is kidnapped. Next day, in a Rome worried by the news that the enemy is throwing forces across the river, a repentant Balbus is frantic at Julia's disappearance .... It would spoil the suspense of this mighty drama to reveal how Balbus, on bail awaiting a corruption charge with Marcellus, tracks down Romerus and rescues Julia. '_Cape illud_' (m) he grits as his fist rams home on the grafter's chin. The pair, dishevelled by reunited, arrive at a dramatic moment in the trial of Marcellus. But look out for the posters: _Nunc, BALBI MURUS, maximum spectaculum omnis temporis!_ (n) Translations: (a) The Wall of Balbus (b) 'This is something big, bigger than all of us. All over the world there are millions of people; little people just like you and me, with this hope in their hearts'. (c) 'Did anyone ever tell you you're beautiful?' (question expecting the answer 'Yes'). (d) 'I'll take you to a little place I know, just the two of us'. (e) 'Where have you been all my life?' (f) 'That man is dangerous'. (g) 'Is there another woman?' (question expecting the answer 'No'). (h) 'I don't want that kind of love'. (i) 'Gee, honey, give me a break and I'll prove it isn't true. Honey, you've got to listen'. (j) 'This is goodbye'. (k) 'So that's your game'. (l) 'You stay out of this, sister' (m) 'Take that!' (n) Now, THE WALL OF BALBUS, the greatest specacle of all time! * * * * * * * * ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 17:36:16 +0000 (GMT) From: Michael Wolfe Subject: No clever subject line A couple people have offered to get me the Grant Lee Phillips disk, thanks! I'm set up now, so y'all needn't worry 'bout me. - -Michael ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 11:00:36 -0800 From: Tom Clark Subject: Re: VH1's Midnight Minutes I believe they both appeared on VH1. - -tc On 2/10/2000 9:27 AM, brian nupp wrote: >This is pretty cool. Did this actually appear on VH1? Good Post. >Brian > > >>From: Tom Clark >>Reply-To: Tom Clark >>To: "Punky Reggae Party" >>Subject: VH1's Midnight Minutes >>Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2000 11:19:59 -0800 >> >>Our boy is featured today! >> >>http://www.vh1.com/sounds.visions/vh1.0/midmin_2.jhtml >> >>-tc ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 13:23:18 -0800 From: Glen Uber Subject: Re: Eye BALL On 11.02.00 06:23, brian nupp wrote: > Does anyone know what Eye songs RH and the > Egyptians have done? Glass hotel, Satalite, and Clean Steve. That's all I > can think of. Any Help? They did "Queen Elvis" at the April 28, 1993 Warfield show in San Francisco ("The greatest show of all time" --Mark Gloster). They also did "Flesh Cartoons" the following day at an in-store at Rough Trade Records in SF. Off the top of me noggin, I can't think of any others, however. - -- Cheers! - -g- "I have two very rare photographs: one is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car; the other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child. '' --Steven Wright +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ Glen Uber uberg@sonic.net http://www.sonic.net/~uberg ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 12 Feb 2000 11:56:00 +0000 (GMT) From: toby Subject: New RH bootleg? I was browsing through the racks at a record fair a moment ago when I cam across (alongside copies of "Rout Of The Clones" and "Stand Back Dennis") a CD entitled "Jewels For The Stables", a recording of last September's Wavendon Stables gig... toby ------------------------------ End of fegmaniax-digest V9 #36 ******************************