From: owner-edheads-digest@efohio.com (edheads-digest) To: edheads-digest@smoe.org Subject: edheads-digest V7 #8 Reply-To: edheads@efohio.com Sender: owner-edheads-digest@efohio.com Errors-To: owner-edheads-digest@efohio.com Precedence: bulk edheads-digest Friday, January 9 2004 Volume 07 : Number 008 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Some more silly jokes [Meg Massie ] O.k., o.k., I'll add one... ["Jonathan Landry" ] non-joke related topic [Meg Massie ] RE: non-joke related topic ["Gene Frey" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 8 Jan 2004 04:15:11 -0800 (PST) From: Meg Massie Subject: Some more silly jokes Since we're still doing this... What do you call cheese that you don't own? Nacho cheese! What was E.T. short for? So he could fit in his spaceship Joni Halabi wrote: Happy (belated) Birthday Mike!! :) This has nothing to do with snails, but being a geek, I feel the need to add some geek humor here.... :) Proof techniques #2: Proof by Oddity. SAMPLE: To prove that horses have an infinite number of legs. (1) Horses have an even number of legs. (2) They have two legs in back and fore legs in front. (3) This makes a total of six legs, which certainly is an odd number of legs for a horse. (4) But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity. (5) Therefore, horses must have an infinite number of legs. - ------------------- The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid term: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, gas cools off when it expands and heats). One student wrote the following answer: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that: "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze. - ---------------------------------- And now we return to our regularly scheduled animal jokes.... Well, there was this tiger, who woke up one morning, and just felt great (yes, just like Tony the Tiger: GREAAAAAAT). Anyway, he just felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?" And this poor quaking little monkey replied: "You are of course, no one is mightier than you." A little while later this tiger confronts a deer, and just bellows out: "WHO IS THE GREATEST AND STRONGEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?" The deer is shaking so hard it can barely speak, but manages to stammer: "Oh great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle." The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered, up to an elephant that was quietly munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE JUNGLE?" Well, this elephant grabs the tiger with his trunk, picks him up, slams him down; picks him up again, and shakes him until the tiger is just a blur of orange and black; and finally throws him violently into a nearby tree. The tiger staggers to his feet and looks at the elephant and says: "Man, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so pissed." Yahoo! Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 8 Jan 2004 09:45:30 -0500 From: "Jonathan Landry" Subject: O.k., o.k., I'll add one... A toothless termite walks into a bar, and says: "Excuse me, is the bar tender here?" ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 8 Jan 2004 16:03:36 -0800 (PST) From: Meg Massie Subject: non-joke related topic Hey folks, A friend of mine in California has promised that as a Christmas present to me, he will go to the nearest CA EFO show this month. He has never heard anything of theirs before, and I'm hoping to get the band to maybe play a song for him. Any suggestions? I was thinking something like "Old Dominion" so he'd be all jealous that I get to live here, but on the other hand, he might not get it :-/ What was the first EFO song that you guys remember? If you had never heard them before, but you were a folk fan, what song would most surely get you hooked? The first song I heard was "Quick," because it was the first album I had...but within a month I had all of them, including several live shows, so I'd say that song worked for me...but it's not really one of my favorites now...I think the new songs are going to see some heavy rotation in my CD player as soon as the new album comes out. Meg Yahoo! Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 08 Jan 2004 22:43:58 -0500 From: "Gene Frey" Subject: RE: non-joke related topic Hey you guys, We first saw EFO at Falcon Ridge in 2000. The song that stuck out in my mind was 'The Train Song,' but I'd have to agree that 'Old Dominion' might be the way to hook an EFO novice. Gene F. >From: Meg Massie >To: edheads@efohio.com >Subject: non-joke related topic >Date: Thu, 8 Jan 2004 16:03:36 -0800 (PST) > >Hey folks, >A friend of mine in California has promised that as a Christmas present to >me, he will go to the nearest CA EFO show this month. He has never heard >anything of theirs before, and I'm hoping to get the band to maybe play a >song for him. Any suggestions? I was thinking something like "Old >Dominion" so he'd be all jealous that I get to live here, but on the other >hand, he might not get it :-/ What was the first EFO song that you guys >remember? If you had never heard them before, but you were a folk fan, >what song would most surely get you hooked? > >The first song I heard was "Quick," because it was the first album I >had...but within a month I had all of them, including several live shows, >so I'd say that song worked for me...but it's not really one of my >favorites now...I think the new songs are going to see some heavy rotation >in my CD player as soon as the new album comes out. > >Meg >Yahoo! Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes _________________________________________________________________ Get reliable dial-up Internet access now with our limited-time introductory offer. http://join.msn.com/?page=dept/dialup ------------------------------ End of edheads-digest V7 #8 ***************************