From: owner-edheads-digest@efohio.com (edheads-digest) To: edheads-digest@smoe.org Subject: edheads-digest V7 #5 Reply-To: edheads@efohio.com Sender: owner-edheads-digest@efohio.com Errors-To: owner-edheads-digest@efohio.com Precedence: bulk edheads-digest Tuesday, January 6 2004 Volume 07 : Number 005 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: Mike's Birthday!! ["Ron Rosen" ] Re: Mike's Birthday!! [Meg Massie ] Re: Mike's Birthday!! ["Jen Rueben" ] Mikes Birthday [BrokerPL@aol.com] Re: Mikes Birthday [nichole ] Re: Mikes Birthday ["Ron Rosen" ] Re: Mike's Birthday [Ebeth526@aol.com] Re: Mikes Birthday [OT] ["Matte Edens" ] Re: Mike's Birthday ["Jason D. Triolo" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2004 12:37:19 -0800 From: "Ron Rosen" Subject: Re: Mike's Birthday!! This one might require some thought - What did Jerry Garcia say right after he died? (Scroll Down) ''Thank you.'' ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2004 13:48:32 -0800 (PST) From: Meg Massie Subject: Re: Mike's Birthday!! What's brown and sticky? A stick! Yahoo! Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2004 18:25:47 -0500 From: "Jen Rueben" Subject: Re: Mike's Birthday!! A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap underwear and the doctor says, "I can clearly see your nuts." Why can't you electrocute the leader of a terrible orchestra? He's a bad conductor. A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel attached to the crotch of his pants. The bartender says, "Sir, are you aware that you have some sort of steering wheel attached to your pants?" The pirate says, "Arrrgh, it's drivin' me nuts!" Happy birthday Mike!!!!! Jen ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2004 19:07:35 EST From: BrokerPL@aol.com Subject: Mikes Birthday Hey,Everyone! First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE!!! Now heres one : Whats the fastest way to get a Virginia Tech graduate off your front porch? Pay him for the Pizza!!! (Take THAT Julie !) ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2004 16:43:11 -0800 (PST) From: nichole Subject: Re: Mikes Birthday Dirty Joke Ahead: A man walks into a bar with his horse. Another man walks up to him and says "I'll bet you 50 bucks I can make your horse laugh." So the owner says OK. The other guy takes the horse into the back room, and sure enough, the horse walks out laughing hysterically. The owner pays the guy his money and leaves. The next night they come into the bar, and the man walks up to them again. He says "I'll bet you 100 bucks I can make your horse cry." The same thing happens. He takes the horse in back, and they come back with the horse weeping. The owner pays the man his 100 bucks. Then he says to him, "hey, what did you do to my horse to get him to laugh and cry like that?" The man replies: "Well last night I told him I had a bigger penis than he does, and tonight I showed him." hehehehe nichole IM: Poetrygrl8 "If my soul is a raindrop, i will return to the sea. If the ocean is timelessness, let it wash over me." the kennedys Yahoo! Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2004 17:20:00 -0800 From: "Ron Rosen" Subject: Re: Mikes Birthday > Now heres one : Whats the fastest way to get a Virginia Tech graduate > off your front porch? > Pay him for the Pizza!!! (Take THAT Julie !) No joke: Cal 52 Virginia Tech 49 !!! Greetings from California! ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2004 20:44:32 EST From: Ebeth526@aol.com Subject: Re: Mike's Birthday Happy Birthday, Mike! Though you'd like some jokes for your birthday! If we were back on the ship we could get Jane to play the piano and sing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" to you! Hope you enjoy these jokes! A pompous minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips. The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too. I did not know we had a choice." One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon people will think we're nuts." 80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough." An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me. "Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the sheets and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!" HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIKE! Elizabeth Phillips P.S. Dave and I sure did enjoy the EFO show in Ashland in December! We hope you all will get back to Ashland Coffee & Tea soon! ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 06 Jan 2004 18:26:15 -0800 From: "Matte Edens" Subject: Re: Mikes Birthday [OT] Man am I upset that I stopped watching THAT bowl game after the early drubbing from VT. Go Bears! matte (not a Bear, I'm a Bradley Brave, but I live out here and gotta support the local teams. Except the Niners. ONCE A PACKER FAN, ALWAYS A PACKER FAN!!!! WOO HOO!!!!) We now resume the regular scheduled EFO talk... - ----Original Message Follows---- From: "Ron Rosen" Reply-To: "Ron Rosen" To: Subject: Re: Mikes Birthday Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2004 17:20:00 -0800 > Now heres one : Whats the fastest way to get a Virginia Tech graduate > off your front porch? > Pay him for the Pizza!!! (Take THAT Julie !) No joke: Cal 52 Virginia Tech 49 !!! Greetings from California! _________________________________________________________________ Have fun customizing MSN Messenger  learn how here! http://www.msnmessenger-download.com/tracking/reach_customize ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 06 Jan 2004 21:27:47 -0500 From: "Jason D. Triolo" Subject: Re: Mike's Birthday Happy Birthday, Mike! Okay, okay...how can I resist? Being a Floridian, and the token young person among retirees, this one should do: (reader discretion advised, so here's some space......) (okay, you've been warned!) An old man went to his doctor for an annual check-up, and his wife came with him. After a brief absence, the doctor returned to the exam room to talk to the man. "Okay, sir, we need to conduct a few tests, and to do so, we will need a blood sample, a sperm sample, a stool sample, and a urine sample." The man, being hard of hearing, looked to his wife to ask what the doctor said. In a raised voice, she looked at him and said, "He said he wants your shorts, dear!" ------------------------------ End of edheads-digest V7 #5 ***************************