From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V6 #19 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Thursday, June 19 2003 Volume 06 : Number 019 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: Old thoughts on old flames [Holly Miller ] ET: PErfect is tonight... [Holly Miller ] ET: The Dusty Files [Holly Miller ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 18 Jun 2003 17:53:56 -0700 (PDT) From: Holly Miller Subject: ET: Old thoughts on old flames "so your going to lie to Mikie?" hell ya, we have to save our ass for being a bad lay before it gets around!! "we werent a bad lay it was our first time, it was fine for us to be a bad lay" yeah well in my half of the book it isnt ok to be a bad lay.... "your thinking about dustin again arent you? Hoping how he wishes you were still together and he will ask to get back together with you soon?" no of course not what are you talking about? "dont lie to me...you are talking to me here!" *smirks* ok point taken, yes I am thinking that...is it wrong? "no it isnt, you just finally get a bit of heart ache from him breaking up with you...it didnt hit you until maybe after you had sex and saw how it isnt all that and the rest of that stuff." I know I know...that is also why "you dont want Larissa to sleep with him, because your heart is still with him right now..." EXACTLY!!! "Why is it we only talk to each other when you are confused and upset?" because that is the only time I will listen to you... "good point..." ++++++++++++++++++ Hello, this is Holly AkA Biffers ffrom awhile ago. I am glad to be back I have a lot to say! ===== "Perfect is tonight it's opened up to find no matter what I say you're a substitute for my pride it's terriable to see a new accessory no matter what I say you're just filling a void in me..." Amanda Ghost "The Wrong Man" __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? SBC Yahoo! DSL - Now only $29.95 per month! http://sbc.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 18 Jun 2003 18:02:10 -0700 (PDT) From: Holly Miller Subject: ET: PErfect is tonight... I am not pregnant.... YES!!!! Once I got down to it I knew I wasnt but I am VERY glad that I am not there is no way I could of had a kid by Dustin espically since he is saying that I PAID him to have sex with me BULLSHIT!! Resident Evil came on our hands were latched his hands went down my pants and they enjoyed themselfves so did I but who cares right? then we went into Drew's old room and we had sex... nothing fancy nothing special we just did it anyway back to the good news I am not pregnant!!!!! ++++++++++++++++++++++++ I know this all too well... I know the pain the confusion the depression that Dustin can give girls making them think he cares when he just wanted some making girls think this or that how he really cares about you not about his girlfriend *rolls eyes* I have been in both places of being the girlfriend and being the girl he liked I admit now that I am glad that those times are over... being his mom is good enough always having a guy who thinks I am good looking and who thinks I am special and a good person and just who cares about me is enough... I dont want to say good bye but I have to.... +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hello My love Sorry I havent written you sooner but I have been busy with other things such as getting engaged then out of pretending to be in love when I wasnt getting a pretty ring that didnt fit my big hard hands finding out that my ex Frostad? almost loves me and that he never was using me except when I got his tongue peirced he feels really bad about it but I dont care... as long as he told me that... I am ok with it I had a dream sort of about Trevor last night I had a deja vu I slept on the couch same place that we did... same blanket also I took the cushins off just like we did and I moved the top cushin so it could be a pillow I almost felt like I could cry being there at night at the same couch same blanket as we used my heart is beating faster as I think of this I just miss the company really I miss being able to hold someone being able to randomly kiss him bite him or do anything or how he shifted for me so we could hold hands I dont know but I feel like something is almost missing from this... it is almost like something left my life and I dont know where it went to he caused my strife and thats not what I was seeking... we were even talking about me being pregnant and how I would still smoke and how he glared at me telling me that "no you wouldnt be smoking if you had my child..." I will need to talk to my girlfriend over this loneliness is killing me... +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I am writing a love letter to myself asking myself why we did what we did "you mean have sex with Mikie?" no we know why we did that, we just wanted to have sex, and he was the best guy for the job "yeah, we know. you just wish it was dustin so that you could say you had been frosted..." yeah i know we also care about dusty, a lot more then we care about mikie "well duh, i wonder why we like Dusty more?" because he was our boyfriend, who kissed us, snuck into our bed and layed next to us "oh and we thought we loved him for awhile remember? major thing" shut up i was trying not to remember that "why?" because i am trying to get over him "get over him? You had sex with Mikie last night!!!" shut the fuck up... "is that all you can say? I mean come on now! Dusty fucked up your car, promised to have sex with you, never spent time with you, cheated on you twice!! What the fuck are you thinking??" that I want to have a baby with him?... "you only want to have a baby with him so that you will always have a reason to keep him around you...so you will never stop seeing him." *can only look away in shame, as a tear falls down her face* "you know I am telling the truth Holly you just want to admit it!!" SHUT UP!!! "No, not till you admit what I just said was right...or hell even get pregnant with Mikie's kid so you could be pregnant and sexy..." that is true, i do want a kid "yeah but you really want one with Dusty..." can we please stop talking about this? "No because you will see him again and what will you do then?" talk to him and act like nothing happened between mikie and i... "your face is hard to lie" only when i am really stupid "then you better be jeopardy smart when it comes to talking to dusty..." yeah yeah... "come one lets go have a cigarette I can tell that you need one right now..." I thought you would never ask... +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Ok I think I am done for now.... Holly ===== "Perfect is tonight it's opened up to find no matter what I say you're a substitute for my pride it's terriable to see a new accessory no matter what I say you're just filling a void in me..." Amanda Ghost "The Wrong Man" __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? SBC Yahoo! DSL - Now only $29.95 per month! http://sbc.yahoo.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 18 Jun 2003 19:05:50 -0700 (PDT) From: Holly Miller Subject: ET: The Dusty Files 12:24am and at 915 I go to the doctor to find out if I am pregnant with Dustin's baby scary thing is? for awhile I wanted his baby I wanted him to be the father of my children now now that it might be possible I am freaking out because now I know about other guys other fish in the sea like one good kisser good looking one named Chad Yes he is divorced and yes he has a 4 year old son but I dont know that doesnt mean that I cant like him or cant be with him... who knows if I am I am going to cry for happyniess and for sadness and if I am not I am calling Linda and Angela and London and telling them that I am celebrating I aint fucking pregnant!!!! and then maybe go and see Chad... heheheh +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Girls talk... Yeah that is an understatements I was with Trevor... he tried to sleep with Larissa and possibly did but I am going to believe my girl over a mother fucker who should die!!! Telling me sweet nothings to have them truly mean just that NOTHING!!! I could kill him!! Then to have Dustin cuddle me and call me sweetie.... *heart melts and I smile* then to tell me good night sweetie as I tell him good night Dusty I need to think of a good nick name for him hehehehe he can be my skater boi I dont want to say I love him because it will scare even me away!! because I will be afraid of getting hurt and I dont wanna get hurt at all and I know he doesnt want to hurt me... so I wont let him... I hope... +++++++++++++++++++++ Guess what holiday is coming up? Yeah your right Valentines Day No i'm not kidding but I wish I was trust me!! Once again Holly will be single alone with no one over Valentines day!! I hate Valentines day I was in the hospital on the 6th floor for one of them 2 years later my grandfather died on that day at 4am at 6am there was a phone call and we all knew what it was about... being single has it perks I admit but it also has its major downfalls Becky will get something from Trevor not for me Jaime will get something from Drew and for Drew Christine will try and do something for Dusty, Dusty will do the same somehow Linda already bought stuff for Eddie and the girls Chuck and Nicole will be romantic and shit Mike and Danita Shawna and Jason And who will Holly have? no one she will have herself and the father of her baby London... but it wont be the same because...well, I actually want someone to want me... yeah right like that will ever happen!!! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ *yawn* boy am I sort of tired... that makes no sence but I really dont care about that I am now living with Danita and has been for the past few days I feel like a lump that she has to deal with sometimes and I dont like that at all Other time I have fun and just like a sweet melody it just clicks and goes together sometimes when you write poetry it isnt poetry it is just writings that come out of your head just thoughts with no rythme no taste no romance nothing special just thoughts that you think and you type random crazy thoughts at 1:19am I think I may need some sleep +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ November 24/25 at about midnight to 1am...I gave something to somebody...and it wasnt who I thought I was going to be giving it too...not where I thought it would be either... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ You are a good person!! No matter what happens between you and Dustin. You did you best and you fell for him. In the end you were hurt and you had to pay the price. No surprise not just get up and write some good heart ache songs about it so you can become famous because of it. Then when you win an award you can thank Dusty Frostad for being the one to make you feel that way and you will always remember him...my present boyfriend might get a little mad about that but he can deal with it... YOU ARE WORTH THE WORLD TO SOMEONE...YOU JUST HAVE TO GO AND WAIT FOR HIM..... ===== "Perfect is tonight it's opened up to find no matter what I say you're a substitute for my pride it's terriable to see a new accessory no matter what I say you're just filling a void in me..." Amanda Ghost "The Wrong Man" __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? SBC Yahoo! DSL - Now only $29.95 per month! http://sbc.yahoo.com ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V6 #19 *********************************