From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest)
To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org
Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V4 #95
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eda-thoughts-digest      Tuesday, August 7 2001      Volume 04 : Number 095




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                               Today's Subjects:
                               -----------------
  ET: two many times                                     [Tudegirl08@aol.com]
  ET: a poem.            [Katherine Alexandra <jackies_strength20@yahoo.com>]

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Date: Mon, 6 Aug 2001 03:29:39 EDT
From: Tudegirl08@aol.com
Subject: ET: two many times

still no sound from you
still it makes me wonder
wonder where you've been
wonder where you are
are you with another girl
are you all that far
far is how I feel
far is what I need
need to get away
need to erase false thoughts 
thoughts that which I crave
thoughts that choke and then some
some I'd rather not see
some I just have to watch
watch me walk into your life
watch me walk right out
out of sight, out of mind
out of excuses, out of time
time is what's kept me alive
time is what kills me inside
inside of you is where i want to be
inside of me is what i want to see
see all that I own
see all that I feel
feel my honest hands
feel my healing heart
heart aches and heads ache
hearts break from too many takes
take me for no other
take me for someone you'd love to hate
hate our distance, hate the truth
hate how much, I could've loved you
you are my tiny miracle
you make my soul stand still
still no sound from you
still it makes me wonder

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 6 Aug 2001 10:26:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: Katherine Alexandra <jackies_strength20@yahoo.com>
Subject: ET: a poem.

untitled.

smears
all over my body
and giggles
from unknown people
convinced
that they are 
aware
of my story.

uncomfortable pauses
and stares.

and he is a 
beautiful one
with a charming smile
and an ability
to move
mountains.
i would not 
believe
what power he held
if he had not
done it to me.

people
people that don't know
my middle name
or birth place
are talking.
they think it's funny
that i didn't 
realize
what is to be
expected on a date
to a nice place.
they think it's funny
that i was so silly
to wear that dress
and not expect
what he gave.

defenseless 
of my own name.
silenced by his
ability to
charm
and my inability
to articulate
what had happened
and why
i ran so fast.

the facts mean nothing
to people
that only want to see
the good side 
and ignore the anger.
the facts mean nothing
to those
who knew him
before me.

two more weeks
and i will be 
on the other side of
the country.
far.
far.
far.
far enough not to
hear the snickering
behind my back.
and not to feel
an intense need
to hide.
far enough
to pretend
that it never happened.
because even i
don't want to believe
that he
could do that 
to me.
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------------------------------

End of eda-thoughts-digest V4 #95
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