From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V4 #87 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Friday, July 13 2001 Volume 04 : Number 087 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: waiting around for something [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ET: waiting around for something (sorry bout the blank one) [DrkShadws85@] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Thu, 12 Jul 2001 17:56:22 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: waiting around for something ------------------------------ Date: Thu, 12 Jul 2001 17:57:46 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: waiting around for something (sorry bout the blank one) ~~ 7-7-01 I didn’t do the best for myself because I wasn’t complete Just filling the void was something that I couldn’t remember How to do time and time over again. I forget what you are Doing here and what I'm doing here. I'd leave this life but I’m Still looking for the door with the exit sign. ~~ 7-9-01 I need the beauty of words so I can make Compromises with all of the feelings in my body It doesn’t know what it would do without them. When all of the words run away I cant Escape from the reality that I’m forced to live In. With all of the fake people with the fake personalities And smiles. Sooner or later they aren’t going to be able to hide behind that. Sooner or later more people than me are going to be able to see right through it. You cant hold it all in like I do, because once it gets to A certain point you cant bring yourself back to the Place where you started from. And you wont be able to Move forward either. You’re just stuck in some place that you Cant/don’t understand. Wait, maybe this is already the life that I’m living. At least The way I see it ~~ 7-12-01 Shit falling from every single direction. Filling up more cracks in your mind that you knew you had. But you'll never be complete until you are completely happy with yourself (myself). So, you should be prepared to wait around forever. I have confessions that I cant confess because this isn’t the same place that it used to be. It’s not just the time zone change that has gone to my brain. I got a little plastic cup that you can put all my insides into. There isn’t that much left to me when I’m still writing all of these letters to myself. I still can’t answer them. Then sometimes you run out of thoughts and die. ~~ 7-11-01 I was watching myself through the opposite side of the mirror You can only know so much Can only fade so far away and I’ve already left Disappeared Couldn’t remember who I was once upon a time Don’t really want to because It WON’T Matter. All the words I have to say Boil down to nothing. Just everything That comes back and hits me in the face. How can you believe someone say they care when You don’t. Jus let it go through the circle “She'll be fine” and if I’m not? Then what happens? You couldn’t know it because my mouth is shut And my insides are screaming So I had a birthday cake the morning after That didn’t fill the void but for once a little good Trying to at least be a “positive” person if only For one moment. Dancing little girls with Laughter from people you actually love and Would give your life for Who knows if they’ll ever be seen again SNAPSHOT m e m o r i e s At least I can look back and hold Something close to my heart Even though I’m not sure I have one It’s just easier to sit back Close your eyes Smile And relive the night how It should have been lived the first time. ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V4 #87 *********************************