From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V4 #85 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Monday, July 9 2001 Volume 04 : Number 085 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: the happiest day of my life [Katherine Alexandra Subject: ET: the happiest day of my life this is just a little something, probably something that can never truly be written down, and it is a weak attempt to even try to capture such beauty into poetry, so i wont even try. i just want to express this and to hopefully convey some of the happiness which i recently experianced. i normally consider happiness an emotion that comes from sadness, its a nice emotion but impossible to write on. and we rarely truly expriance such happiness, i was naive and believed that happiness was not worth the written word, due to its inivetiable corniness, and from the fact that most poets are sad, therefore would prefer not to read about happiness. but this past weekend i felt it. i felt such joy, such happiness, such excitement. it was beautiful and an emotion which i hope to recapture in my memory until i die. it was perfect and i know it can never be repeated, the perfection of such happiness. my best friend's wedding was last night. i have been delighted about the idea of her marriage, esp. because her husband is a wonderful man. she is also incredibly stable and independent and able to make such life altering choices. but i had no idea how happy i would feel, or how happy i could possibly feel, over someone else's wedding, over seeing her stand there on the beach, in her plain cotton dress with her goofy smile and the daisies in my hand. i had no idea, i was not ready for this feeling of joy. it is remarkable, and perhaps a feeling that is sadly not going to happen often, but it is the best feeling that i have ever had in my life, to see my best friend marry a man that is perfect for her. to know without a doubt in my mind, that her marriage is a good idea. to see such an enourmus life change happen to someone that i have known since high school, someone that has travelled with me through europe, driven cross country with me, someone that i have seen at her lowest, and now highest. someone that has never spoken a negative word about this man. she has shown me what love really is. and now i feel that i have been fooled all of these years. but feeling fooled does not make me sad, it only brings more delight. everyone deserves what taryn has, the independence of the love they have together, the excitment in their faces, the dreams that they both share. i look back on their relationship, which has lasted 3 years, and i can only recall one arguement, and i can never recall a single bad word spoken of him. i am surprised by their lack of need for each other. i am surprised by their lack of dependence. i have foolishly only been around needy relationships, i have believed drama was a part of love, i have expected tears. taryn once told me that the whole point of a relationship is to compliment the other person and make the other person's life better and for the other person to do the same to you. i can't agree with her more. i'm not sure if i will ever be able to see anyone else marry so happily. its the best feeling that i have had, to see someone making an intentional choice, leading an intentional life. i'm unsure of how often people are aware of their choices when they marry,or even if they truly care about the other person. i look back on christmas' and on love affairs and on travels, and i find that last night was the happiest day of my life. the only way to describe such happiness, is when you find a perfect gift for someone that you love, when you find something that they truly would want, and then to be able to give it to them. the excitement that you feel over their own excitment is what i felt last night, but even stronger. there is a poem by szymborska that has a line in it which says that love can never occupy the whole world, that most children are born without it and that those which know love are the lucky ones. if i never feel love, then i am ok with that, being able to know that someone that i know is able to feel it makes life easier. i realize how corny this is, at the wedding all of my friends were teasing me. i had this huge grin and i felt giddy. i felt as though i was on top of the world. my friends normally see the cynical side of me, and lately the negative sides of my personality have been coming out to play (i have been content, neither sad nor happy, just bored), i never expected to feel such joy. love, kat ps PLEASE WRITE SOME MORE!! I MISS READING THE POETRY! Get personalized email addresses from Yahoo! Mail http://personal.mail.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V4 #85 *********************************