From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V4 #81 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Wednesday, June 20 2001 Volume 04 : Number 081 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: when certain people come in from out of town [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 19 Jun 2001 15:59:35 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: when certain people come in from out of town sorry that it's been so long since I wrote to the list, a lot has been going on ~~ - --unspoken words-- waiting for so long just to come home and you've rearranged all of my things I can't stand the placement that I've given you in my life but the anger won't take me over and I'll watch you walk in and out of my life. sometimes people regret what they've done but at this time I'm just learning that what you've done isn't right and I'm just being trampled. nothing disappears wherever I go and the shit stays at my side it's all screwed up but life has always been like that. no you're coming to see me and I don't want to deal with all the things I though I could forget. let the music play L O U D E R just like it always does when I'm in pain Heat exhaustion from my own house waiting for something different not wanting a certain someone to come home from their job let keep fighting about the money we know we don't have just enough to buy good that's only because we aren't even paying the bills this big business is driving us into the hole stop screaming in my face like it's my fault stop pounding on my body in all my dreams I'm supposed to forget all the acid rain all the demands that have to be met the ones that I am supposed to meet they taught me how to beat myself down I guess I just took it a little bit too far I wonder how long she was standing there watching me pick at my skin before she walking in she probably wanted me to keep doing it so she could have her own room back again maybe she has dreams about me bleeding to death just like i do yet the times when I said something she seems disturbed oh wait the reason was that I'm not a cookie cut kid who's following the model that she (they) think I should I don't want to be them I don't want to be me I don't know what I want to be just need to get a grip of something everything changes so quickly but time is slipping through my fingers watching breaking to get out withholding everything from them like I said you have a lot to learn about me I know YOU want to judge me and you are so discrete about it but don't worry I notice every single thing that you hate about me so might as well not hide the truth like I do You (they) cant handle the truth. ~~ - --untitled-- I'm not remembering because it hurts me to have things you feel are nothing. Eyes that you look at and not into. It can't take away all the pains that they don't take it unto themself so they know what it's like to be who you are how you feel. Crying again because of something they never even knew about. Can't have joy too much pain overrides all the stimulating waves in the brain. ~~ ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V4 #81 *********************************