From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest)
To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org
Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V4 #73
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eda-thoughts-digest        Friday, May 25 2001        Volume 04 : Number 073




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                               Today's Subjects:
                               -----------------
  ET: only me                                           [DrkShadws85@aol.com]

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Date: Thu, 24 May 2001 22:26:26 EDT
From: DrkShadws85@aol.com
Subject: ET: only me

You hurt me
with every single solitary
lie that you told me
repeatedly and Im not better
off than I was if I wasn't here
everything could be all better
with every breath I watch myself
die and I kick myself for the words
that come out of my mouth

Im sitting here just trying not to remember
why Im here because some things make it
so much harder to even bare with
I get out of your way because if I don't
youll still trample all over me

Im tired
Im worn
Im ugly
youre too beautiful
Im here
Im hurt 
Im crying
Im thinking about
nothing 
but the musical notes
and the melody
that the instrument
produces

The same instrument that I stopped playing because
I lost all of my inspiration.

Cant live like a normal one anymore from day
to day you think it would be okay
I have news for you
when the music stopped the tapes
started rolling. So they could catch
you (me) off guard when Im at my worst
at the natural state of who I am and who
Im really ashamed of. I cant hold my insides
together anymore. It sounds easy but
Im bleeding from the inside out
soon enough nothing with be left.

I don't need anything just for the
yelling to stop once in awhile

It needs to stop so every once in a while I can
clear my mind and maybe for a second
stop feeling alone and so worthless. 

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End of eda-thoughts-digest V4 #73
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