From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V4 #69 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Sunday, May 13 2001 Volume 04 : Number 069 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- Re: ET: A long Rant comparing a boring day at work with the idea of a false personality. [Seth Fulmer Subject: Re: ET: A long Rant comparing a boring day at work with the idea of a false personality. Hey there, This is to Sara but also to everyone I guess too. hehe :) Well, okay I don't consider the mask I wear a mask to make me a perfect person but it is a mask that seems to appease quite the majority of people I meet. My close friends know my real personality but those who I just meet and those of my close friends who get me mad/upset/defensive see my mask. I grow intensely quiet and non responsive. It's almost like I am inside of a shell. However those that I just meet see me as really collected, organized, calm, and I react to things a bit differently. My real personality likes bands such as Hanson, Backstreet boys, NSync, Britney Spears, etc. as well as Jewel, Tori Amos, Metallica, and a lot of others, however those who see my mask think I hate BSB, NSync, Britney, Hanson, etc. My real personality can't talk to a girl to save my life, however I can put my mask on and then I have the courage to ask anyone out. Why and How I do it you asked though? I do it because I see my real personality and people wouldn't like it. People wouldn't react kindly to me liking the bands that I do or laughing at some jokes that others might find not funny. I like watching cheesy movies and I like Winnie the Pooh and 7th Heaven and Romantic movies. I'm totally straight though and when I brought out before to people I just met that I liked some of those things they thought I was gay. A lot of people also think that because I like poetry that I must be gay, so typically the only people I offer to send my poetry to are girls or guys that I know like poetry as well. How I do it though...Well it's easy because I have a VERY active imagination. I write stories and novels and dream a lot. Many days when I was a child I would go into my closet and sit there in the dark and stare into the darkness. My parents would wonder where I was, but I had a lot of fun there and a lot of interesting conversations with myself. I don't usually hang with people with whom I can't show my real personality much, but sometimes I find it fun. I find it boring sometimes to show my real personality too much too. I live with my best friend from HS now and he sees my real personality for the most part and it gets tiring to me. Last weekend I spent time with my friend who lived 2 hours away and her boyfriend. I had to show my mask the whole time because I like her but I didn't want him to see and if I showed my true(sick) personality to her, I might get carried away and fall for her which was a bad idea. I felt like I had a lot of freedom there though because I could act different than usual. About your other thing though Sara, if you want to be a painter, couldn't you get a job as a painter(not a painter as in Van Gogh but as in one who paints houses or other buildings) and take out your artwork on the side, like maybe if the city wanted a mural painted or something...It's just a thought. Recently I saw the "Behind the scenes" to the movie "Shrek" and I sorta realized where I really want to go in my career of computer science. I always was interested in computers and I wanted to do something where I had human interaction but moreso I wanted something to express my creativity so that a massive audience could experience it, like Shrek...So far in my job searching, I've found jobs where I'm making websites or applications for large companies and yes my work would be seen by a relatively large population but a movie or a song or even a book would be available for a Huge populous to acquire and/or experience. However, I suck at drawing. The few times in my life I tried to draw anything, it took me forever and a day to do it and it wasn't anything as magnificent as Salvador Dali or Monet or Da Vinci's artwork. But what can I do? I can try on the side to draw a small drawing or write poetry or write a story or a song, and just hope somebody sees or notices me and says "Gosh this guy is brilliant! Let's give him some money"...yeah right. Anyhow I've babbled on long enough. I hope you all have a great Day and I'll talk to you later! *hugs and stuff to all who will take them* ~Seth Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices http://auctions.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V4 #69 *********************************