From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V4 #68 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Saturday, May 12 2001 Volume 04 : Number 068 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: A long Rant comparing a boring day at work with the idea of a false personality. [Sara Subject: ET: A long Rant comparing a boring day at work with the idea of a false personality. All right...I'm sitting here quite bored at work and realized that I haven't posted in forever, so I decided to type something 'profound' to send out into the void. I think it was along the lines of boredom at work....btw...this is very long and pointless...well actually it was kinda cathargic but...I think there's and interesting thought or two buried in there somewhere. If you don't read, I'll understand In the movie Fight Club there's a line that says, "Working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need." I personally am a painter. That's what I do, that's what I want to do, I want someone to pay me to paint! But given that it is difficult to make a living as and artist, currently I am working as a receptionist. Yet, the truth of the matter is that I am a paid artist, an actor. I am very good and playing the role of the receptionist. I put on the right clothes which only hint at my real personality. I sit quietly all day, I rarely speak except to answer the phone, and then it is not my voice or my words. I deliever my lines very effectively and no one could guess my really identity. Buy the end of the day I want to scream! This is not me! I instantly run home and change into clothes and makeup that are the exstremes of my personality. Finally I can be me again! It makes me wonder about the price of my indiviuality. I can be what someone else wants me to be, for a price. Money...so I can buy shit, I really don't need. So question, for those people who where a mask everyday by choice, having the look they should have, the voice, the proper behavior, being the perfect person so that everyone will love them, How do they do it? I am someone else for roughly 10 hours a day, How can someone stand not to be themselves EVER? And when I get paid, I do enjoy what I can do with the money, buy a cd, go to a movie, go out and get coffee with friends. But when someone who wears a mask gets paid, receives love, how do they enjoy it? they can't go out for coffee with friends and relax...that I would think would make them more tense. I don't know. These are just some thoughts....a long tanget created by boredom. If you read this, (mega Congrats) and have anything to add,...feel free to mail me, I'd be curious. If not, fine...I wrote it for the sole purpose of writing it. Okay Bye now Sara the Angel with a paintbrush currently working as a receptionist. "No thing I do don't do no thing but bring me more to do it's true I do imbue my blue unto myself, I make it bitter." Fiona Apple 'On the Bound' http://:homepages.go.com/~mysteriousraven/door.html ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V4 #68 *********************************