From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V4 #48 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Sunday, April 1 2001 Volume 04 : Number 048 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: poems poems and more poems [RJonthego@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 31 Mar 2001 16:13:57 EST From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: poems poems and more poems poems from writing marathon 3/31/01 with marina my eyes shift back and forth between bliss and insanity so quickly, i can look 3 or 4 times before i blink, and the whole world disappears into blinding purple light before i open them again and i can see your back when you desert me. - ----- don't think i don't squint a little as i look to the sunset watching for my hero riding on a horse. don't think i don't choke up a little when i hear the credits playing, the sweet song, the storybook song with the happy ending. don't think i don't close my eyes whenever i see blood or something difficult to stomach. don't think i wouldn't plug my ears if you told me something i didn't want to hear. - ----- hit me in the stomach and let me hate you with my entire body for once let the emotion be pure and simple. hit me in the face and let the tears be explainable let the pain be straightforward and my actions justified. hit me in the stomach, because you hate me, don't just stab me in the back and expect me to be fine. i'm tired of trying to cut through my emotions with the knife i pulled from between my shoulder blades if you would just punch me i would make you bleed, and i would sleep so soundly, without complications cluttering up my mind. - ------- i want to be evil just to see your eyes one more time. to watch you and want you, to see you catch your breath, in your eyes, it must be wrong to want to look at your face up close, like that, it must be wrong to feel your heart through my skin. it must be a sin to notice the muscles in your arms and wonder how far down i can go before you catch me. but i would be evil if i thought you would be that good - ------ if you caught me i would shove my way out of your arms while i laughed, embarrased. and then i would go home and i would fall again, my breath stuttering like my akward replies and i would take a pen and write for you; a poem about grace and balance and how i hoped the next time i fell you would fall into me too. - ----- let me touch you once again without letting that look of repulsion spring into your eyes. because that look grabs on to my hair like a two year old kid with a whine and screams at me and won't let me go. when i look at your pictures all i see is reproach and i wish you would leave the good old days alone let them stay good and old for me to mourn once a year when i visit the site of it's death and place the flowers on the grave. thoughts of you like a mosquito sitting on my arm and when i hit them they explode, drops of blood and i wonder how much ugliness you thought you'd dealt with, and i wonder if you know how much i protected you from. - ----- how much i would give to scratch you from nose to naval. i am in a bloodthirsty mood tonight, but after a fling with nostalgia (the sleazy flourescent kind) i am ashamed to show my face and need to take it out on somebody. how much would i give to take every bit of it back? because a dream is just a dream no matter how long you sleep and you were just a dream but i pinched myself a bit too hard. i would give so much to write what i should write and not just recording dreams. - ---- Roya (curtis - NOT for writing club) ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V4 #48 *********************************