From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V4 #41 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Saturday, March 24 2001 Volume 04 : Number 041 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: family you never wanted [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Fri, 23 Mar 2001 23:26:31 EST From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: family you never wanted And Im glad that you seem to know the way that I feel because whatever I say gets thrown in my face and Im nothing but a liar. And you go to other people telling them false things and they don't know what they are talking about. So I could just sit here all night crying, the only words that you would have for me that those tears are false, tears arent salty at all, theyre made of sugar. Another falsity. Something else that I could never explain to you because you arent willing to listen to anything that I ever had to say, and I cant keep moving on this time. It hurts too much, because you say things when you think im sleeping; not sleeping, just dwelling on every word that you say about me and my mother. So you can take it like I want to stay here, like its my choice where I live. Well, if I knew that it was going to be like this then I would have stayed behind, not bother with the whole 'one big happy family' thought. I hate things that do nothing but waste my time and everything here is wasted, rolled up into one ball and thrown into the trash. Could have done much better, and im just standing my ground and I wouldn't let you run all over me like I always do. I don't feel exactly the same as I did three or four days ago. Everythings different, and im a living zombie with headphones permanently glued to my head. At least then I can be happy and I am learning to smile at people that I didn't even know. So that girl loves my name, I don't know what her problem is, I think that is cutem but just don't understand it. I wish that I could say that I love hers too, but it reminds me too much of home, of too much pain. Nothing that I could expect you to relate to. Just another name that I wish I could forget, just another love that I wish I could get rid of. Time goes by so slowly and shes taking off of work so that she can study, maybe it isnt me that's the total problem here..its not my fault that everything is going wrong again, I never knew how to help you, that was my fault. And then it was to late and you made the promise to yourself and the knife. I look in the mirror trying not to make the same promise, other ways are more tempting. But theres a chain there that could hurt someone else besides myself, and we cant have any of that, can we? ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V4 #41 *********************************