From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #384 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, November 21 2000 Volume 03 : Number 384 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: powems (writing marathon 11/19/00) [RJonthego@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2000 20:41:00 EST From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: powems (writing marathon 11/19/00) i used to collect your words in a barrel out back when it rained i would wash my face and my neck in the castle you built from scratch (and more than a little experience) the wood turned gray and then blue and the skye above let out all of her emotions pouring down and smoking clouds on all of the little girls out back waiting for playmates and reflections in rain barrels all of the mud gathered in the bottom and when you cracked i slipped and fell decided a little bit of dirt was useful to cover up the stains i didn't want to clean up your words or scrub down our castle walls anymore. ~~~ as the last cloud burns off, i'm finding that i didn't even get sunburned i thought the glare is worse when the light bounces around but i'm not even pink anymore. as the skye is clearing her head and her mind and her heart and her body is forgetting what it was like when the clouds wrapped her in their arms. ~~~ they sang duets. their voices blended until she forgot that she didn't like that musical and they were sitting on the steps and everyone was listening then he was quiet and she kept singing her voice taking over till she forgot what the words were and when he clapped when she was done after that beat of silence and he didn't move away when she accidently touched him she felt a swelling inside and all of her thoughts blended while they sang and they forgot everything except the duet. ~~~ maybe i would have stopped if i could see myself how others view me i could have kept my hands to myself and my voice down, as i should have .but he smiled every time i laughed. ~~ i clasped my hands tight together afraid they would pinch, or hit, or maybe slap when they weren't allowed to hold. i clasped my hands tight together when i heard the lighter hiss afraid i would bite through my lip not caring because no one was going to see it anyway. i clasped my hands tight together tighter than theirs could hold each other afraid to let go even when they walked apart. i clasped my hands tight together now that i'm forgetting anyone's touch but my own afraid that my small hands will be the only ones i'll ever have to hold. ~~ something a light in their eyes while they watched me from the back of the room and the way they both walked on either side of me like i was precious and needed protection something in the coke in the light in the clapping in the wind that took away my breath when we were speeding and the way we all moved our heads to the same rhythym just the fact that they were there in the back of the room, watching. my heart had to grow to make room for two more brothers. ~~ just the occasional dream to remind me of who i was 3 months ago i've been training my voice to stop the vibrato which came in handy when i'd tremble on the phone with you. but i can't remember just what it was that made me shiver how you had the power and if my hand shook when i signed my permission. i was too tired to dream last night and when i shook the other he gave me his jacket. ~~ tomorrow is a long ways away too long to wait and see whether or not this was all a dream whether he will sit in his own little corner and if i will sit on my side of the room and will we laugh over that distance? maybe we are only close if we're sitting in the same backseat with the music on so loud we don't have to talk. but i think tomorrow holds something different. ~~ just laugh that's all i could do i was helpless in the grips of hysteria and your jokes where you were pounding on a tile table sitting across from me and the laughter continued into the car where we shouted it from open windows when we sped past other cars and open mouths. i couldn't breathe under your trenchcoat but it was your jokes and your car the sugar the caffeine i don't want to explain it. we just laughed. ~~~ it wasn't all in my imagination the loneliness in the night when i was cold underneath a sleeping bag and blankets so thick i thought i was suffocating when tears froze my pillow and heated my face and flames licked and blades sizzled when wine was sweet and caffeine was bitter i can't remember writing those poems, but dreams can't leave scars, can they? ~~ the poems i pinned to my shirt the sticky notes on my forehead asking you to recognize who i was the name on a piece of tape someone stuck to my back i wandered around the room asking questions and getting nowhere till you took my hand and said you'd seen a movie with someone like me now i'm glued to the screen while you're playing party games wondering where i'm going to find myself, and who i'm going to be, when i do. ~~~ for the first time two burning stars collided in the night he sent her reeling granting others wishes on falling stars she was rock solid and cold in a crater she couldn't climb out of till she looked up and wished on starlight the first star she saw that night that he was still burning the only light in a blueblack sky until the sun came up and she realized that she was on earth and needed to use her legs. ~~~~ roya (curtis: for writing club) "She likes having smart funny friends and a peaceful loving heart she lives like the sky luscious enormous and whispering goddess girl of her magic upon a diamond cloud borni nside a little white bubble she likes her rain water castle and dark jumping shadow life is good as is" - --alice shelburne ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #384 **********************************