From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #372 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Sunday, November 5 2000 Volume 03 : Number 372 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: you're lonely [RJonthego@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 4 Nov 2000 16:15:13 EST From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: you're lonely i was lying on my new bed. black iron, box springs, not enough blankets.... the window was open, small leaves were blowing through. it was the closest thing i could get to actually sleeping outside. every year i say this, and every year it's true. there's no season like fall. no season that makes the air actually energize, no oxygen that charged with electricity. but i need someone to help that current. "you're lonely" out of the mouth of someone i'd never even met. "yeah. i guess i am." it must be a common feeling then, this loneliness. the lack of arms and stomachs and hair in your face, and warm skin. i look at a map, following a path with my finger, he lives there, she lives there, he lives there, there, there, there... and i live here. those red highways look like the lines that used to be on my arm, trying to find the right street to take, to find that one. to find anyone. well i'm not desperate. ok, i am. but the only time i really feel it is watching old romance movies, or lying in bed after a phone call, or checking email and not having a special note sitting there waiting for me. the fall feels to me to be the time that i should look up and know i'm loved. it's hard to love someone and have it not be returned. i think of his hands mostly. his eyelashes. his grin. i've been forgetting his kisses, his cuddling... it's been gradually seeping out of me the same way it seeped in. slowly. stumbling. "you're lonely" i'm lonely for arms, for warmth, for rocks and skye and wind. lonely for those places that are just lines on the map and my arm. let me find the directions to get there, before the scars fade. ~~~ roya ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #372 **********************************