From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #367 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, October 31 2000 Volume 03 : Number 367 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: Life or death [GuMmIbEaRs ] ET: part of writing marathon 10/18/00 [RJonthego@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 29 Oct 2000 21:13:31 -0800 (PST) From: GuMmIbEaRs Subject: ET: Life or death i jump off the roof and dive into the pool id stay down there forever so that i wouldnt have to see your face my heart has been broken and i dont think i can live through this one ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i dive off the cliff and land in the water my body slowly dying and my last images are of you... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i stopped talking 3 weeks ago when i found out the truth know one knows why either but if my heart could tell the story it would say i have been broken for the last time i dont want to exsist anymore so maybe if i dont speak you will forget i am here and then i will die alone i will die a cipher... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ do what you like questions comments insults whatever you feel like doing ===== "-Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart." -Rose Walker __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Messenger - Talk while you surf! It's FREE. http://im.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 30 Oct 2000 18:31:47 EST From: RJonthego@aol.com Subject: ET: part of writing marathon 10/18/00 quite enough already leave me alone! i stared at your face for four hours today and still haven't met with a conclusion even though i bumped into indecision in the doorway. he looked up from his tray squinting and mumbling and told me i needed to get over it but i don't accept candy from strangers and i don't take the advice of dusty old men ~~~ i hadn't discovered that you were this perfect before. oh god i'm doing it again going down the same old road one more time i don't even see the fork my eyes are searching the distance trying to keep up i stare into the sun and you make spots dance in front of my eyes why aren't i perfect for you when you are perfect for me? ~~~ hands maybe your hands have gotten larger have you gotten stronger? taller? the way you hold her now is different than last year she hides inside of you now or is engulfed have you changed how much sturdier you are now she is so fragile and breakable and see through and i worry for her and you. what will she do when you aren't there to keep her from cracking? and what will you do when there's no one there who needs to be kept safe. ~~~ what if i find out i'm really going to be okay without you are the one person who can hold me without squeezing too tight i knew i'd give up and write another poem you've been my subject for so long i don't know what i'd do if i was okay without you love me i know you do i think i've been putting too much faith in predestination again but how else could i have lasted this long beyond the others i see something every time you let me lay my head in your lap when i was on the point of feeling too honest you laid your head on my leg and looked up and you owned me. ~~~ i think i'd cry in fact i did for three hours you were asleep next to me and didn't hear never moved till the cat jumped on you and i croaked out a reply to your tired curse and you didn't hear the tears in my voice. i think i'd cry i thought that when we were sitting on the trampoline but you were watching me and it felt so good to have your eyes meet mine again, in moonlight and i thought if i kept the tears away maybe i could bewitch you when you were dazzled and giving me a massage anyway. i wanted to. cry, that is but to you every tear threatens a flood and i didn't want you to build an ark and i especially didn't want to watch who you chose to go along. ~~ i trust you with so much because you never see it suddenly my eyes want to close and i'm not seeing well either right now. i wrote you another letter today it's across the room now in a pile with the other ones i'll never send unless you ask me and even then you'd have to take my hand and plead so i can at least pretend i'm not jumping when you call. when you call! you've probably forgotten how to even say my name in that tone that was for me when we were alone and all your colors muted and shifted into mine and i miss you. again. and again and again and how many times can i say this to myself before the wind picks up my words and carries them to you? but you won't hear what's being said you'll just see the clouds rolling in and long for the ocean. ~~~ roya ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #367 **********************************