From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #355 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Wednesday, October 18 2000 Volume 03 : Number 355 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: Confusion & Muddle ["John Turner" ] ET: i thought i knew this time [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ET: meyaa [shell ] ET: yummy [shell ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 18:41:43 BST From: "John Turner" Subject: ET: Confusion & Muddle a quick something I wrote today Confusion & Muddle Holding and then losing the thing that I desired the most as I mixed what I wanted with the things I wanted to leave behind the unwanted taking center stage while the rest wilted away Now the center of all intruding on everything I do unmovable its gone from strength to strength all else in deep hibernation waiting for the day when the sun shines once more _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at http://profiles.msn.com. ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 21:37:42 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: i thought i knew this time Well, "its" back..or whatever "it" is..a sadness, emptiness, depression or whatever you wanna call it. So yah..expect lots of poems. And oh yah...Jake, Im searching deep down in my heart to find that person I once was for the short period. I know shes there..not all these are real current...and i may have sent these before..hell, i just dont know. hugs to all, sam empty jar step into where i am not knows and you will see something different the outside disguises the inside after years you are ready to listen but now im not ready to tell i dont feel comfortable its none of your business because when i reached out and cried you turned away you still want to by th elook in your eyes untitled sit on the floor and believe what you want to of me. Loser being spoken behind my back, who knows what theyre talking about. im paranoid. charcoal wont quite come off my hands. and if you want to know, no im not dirty. i dont want the people to peer over and read, it has to be voluntary. because im tired of the way you act and im tired of the way i feel. lost in my death hole why am i so bound and so totally broken knowing im here all alone your missing words matter to much i try to see through them i try to see through myself but it doesnt work theres nothing left for me to see through i hold my broken bones playing them inside my head theres nothing left its been taken away im broken down [you did this to me] ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 18:54:30 -0700 (PDT) From: shell Subject: ET: meyaa and again, can't help but to ask myself, exactly what the hell am I doing here? I knew I had no business coming here, in the first place. You knew, I had no business coming here... and I don't like what you have to say right now I don't care what you have to say right now. because you don't have to like me and you don't have to want to be with me and you don't have to listen to what I have to say. But dammit you do have to respect me! And maybe I don't make sense maybe I don't have anything to show for what I've done or what you've done or what you've done to me Maybe I got some of it wrong Maybe I did all of it wrong. Maybe I did all I thought I could do in that situation. But dammit, at least I did it! And if that's not good enough for you, then that's okay. Because I don't like you or want to know what you have to say... but at least I respect you... ~~~~~ totally not finished, not really even a powem, just an outpouring of pent up emotion... Court _______________________________________________________ Say Bye to Slow Internet! http://www.home.com/xinbox/signup.html ------------------------------ Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 19:02:16 -0700 (PDT) From: shell Subject: ET: yummy Soliloquiy Am I not allowed to feel? Am I not granted freedom to speak as I feel? To admit I need someone? That I don't understand? That You hurt me? that it is You that has put these tiny daggers so deep into my already pain-encrusted heart? that it was You I so foolishly trusted with my life? Am I not permitted to tell You that it was You that ruined my life? Am I yet too proud to proclaim I have been broken, and it was to you that I have fallen? Am I yet to find the courage that will one day set me free from chains I cannot let go of, lift the reign of your touch from the burden that has become my mind and in turn, give me strength, to tell you, I love you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Written for Sly, may he never understand it. Court _______________________________________________________ Say Bye to Slow Internet! http://www.home.com/xinbox/signup.html ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #355 **********************************