From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #347 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Tuesday, October 10 2000 Volume 03 : Number 347 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: haunted by you [Tudegirl08@aol.com] ET: turkey instead of poh-etry :) [shivergirl ] ET: poem ["*~*~ Claudia ~*~*" ] ET: New Jewel song- "Until the Fall" [Tudegirl08@aol.com] ET: Screw This [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ET: Untitled poem(explicit) ["Seth D. Fulmer" ] ET: random thoughts that are just more crap from me [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ET: (no subject) [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Mon, 9 Oct 2000 02:27:41 EDT From: Tudegirl08@aol.com Subject: ET: haunted by you simple words trickle from your finger tips miss you love you without thought without sound you play for me my mind sings for you I'd give you my body pleasure my plead attract positivity impatiently waiting the day is over only minutes ahead some more air to waste hurt to swallow fast cars that drive fast women away I will be here I am slow paced but enjoy fast food you missed a spot below where I breath translucent warmth casually escapes reaching for you my looks would kill for a taste ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2000 12:06:51 -0400 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: turkey instead of poh-etry :) happy thanksgiving, everybody. :) (even if it isn't yer stuffing-day) thankful for you all, who recognize transcendence in words. lovE and leaveS, tee* ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 9 Oct 2000 19:31:31 +0200 From: "*~*~ Claudia ~*~*" Subject: ET: poem I wake up to fall asleep again in your essence. Your light is all my eyes need to see. The dawn is your voice, the morning breeze is your breath. Everything is unveiled to me, so clear yet so mysterious. A flame that can't be extinguished a force that knows no captivity. I find my strength in your love, i live of precious moments that become Eternity in my heart. Time and space disappear to become You and Me. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~ Every day we starve while we eat white bread and beer instead of a handshake or hug ~ *Little sister* - Jewel ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 9 Oct 2000 16:43:08 EDT From: Tudegirl08@aol.com Subject: ET: New Jewel song- "Until the Fall" This was performed Sept. 27 in Saratoga, CA. Anyone know what it is or know the lyrics??? ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 9 Oct 2000 17:25:14 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: Screw This To Mike B. i sit here writing on the walls trying to figure out what i did that was so wrong and why you now hate me why im supposed to leave you alone and fuck off for eternity i sit and i cry and i know why i cant handle losing you one of my only lights in the dark, cruel world maybe im just not good enough anymore id change just so i could be there forever when i love you is on the tip of my lips while i sit here and know you dont feel the same anymore no more thoughts of happiness with the things we talked about just sadness in knowing what i wanted is never going to come true while youre over there making out with your girl youre changing and i cant get you back i cant let myself hate you i dont want to i dont want to let you leave im more scared now than when im in my bed alone i shiver with the unforgetable words you just spoke to me i wipe my tears away as fast as i can because i dont want anyone else to see them the music isnt soothing my soul my soul is to broken and my heart jumped overboard from the moment i felt something else than what im used to im scared and im lost im hopless and tired i just wish i could curl up into a ball and kill myself taking a lifetime to ever get over something like this heartache like none other maybe you dont understand this or maybe you just dont care anymore ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2000 18:21:44 -0400 From: "Seth D. Fulmer" Subject: ET: Untitled poem(explicit) Hey there :) How are you doing today? I really mean that question guys. I don't ask unless I wanna know :P Anyhow, like...This poem is not for the faint of heart, innocent, pure, children, old people, or anyone with a purity higher than 50%(j/k). If you are in these categories, I warn you now that you may not want to read this poem. It's sort of an experiment, and I can't say what because that would ruin the experiment...but if you want to know the experiment, just ask :) It's about nobody in particular but hey, as always you can use your imagination(as you should all the time). Also, if anyone has a title for the poem...tell me cuz I'm stuck about that lol :) If you don't want my poems, let me know and otherwise, take care and Have yourself a most excellent Day!! :o) -Seth ================================================================ Untitled by Seth D. Fulmer 10-9-00 There's a fluid running through me warm and pulsing, flowing free carrying warm and rich nutrients to every living outlet of my body It makes me yearn and makes me breathe It makes my heart pulse every which way The thought then comes for me to go kiss someone special, until she makes me say Grab me and hold me, every hour of the night Make me warm so I'm comfortable in your arms I want you, I need you, I wish you'd just come Make me so breathless; I need you to breathe Kiss me, my sweet and sexy, seductive little fool Your arms around my body below my breasts feel so good When you think of me and talk like you do every night I feel so incredibly special; You're my prince here tonight I run every finger of mine, one at a time all around and in between your breasts very slowly I kiss your lips gently and your neck and to your ear I whisper very softly "You're my angel, Please stay here" I lick you softly, from right ear to left I kiss you and twirl my tongue like a spiral My little, yet strong hands hold onto your breasts as I lick around the nipples and suck them quite well I'd really continue, but I should be good now Meet me downstairs baby before I lose the moment Make me never forget to tell you how good you are making me feel like a princess when you kiss my heart ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 9 Oct 2000 18:22:37 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: random thoughts that are just more crap from me sorry if i sent some of these before along the rainbow cloud days i sway around in the butterfly allies of the forbidden cause. the classes of alignment are to informal and beliefs are nothing but something to someone else. has to say to me i see him peeing through the books and it makes me imagine someone else. of something i thought i needed but i know all it is is the fact that i want it. quant images of things i thought i saw are ore than just an illusion its my hard rain. my release, my own kind of standard. the one that will never remain the same..the one that i never had to start with. the world does round with gold, red, and silver. hurt a horsefly but dont let out the answer. i have to experience it for myself. i watch the hours flee without my eyes. so im not watching, just feeling this much silence hurts my ears. i did it wrong and now im all embarassed. ready to let go and let my head hang. i sh ouldnt feel as much as i do. the hour glass is weary of me turning it over and over. so please dont look at me like that. try not to be painfully blunt. because i dont care and i dont have to. try to pull my head up to see what they are talking about but cant, no will to. fat boy moves (like ishould be talking) and his chair screams with the shifting weight. AH A OH NO. Time goes by to slow and Im all ready to be out on empty. again i fail, again i cry, again the silence isnt broken, again another piece of me dies. again i dont try and stop it. * * * * * but yet im still here. once again i sit here worrying about appearance. what they think of me even though it doesnt really matter and i do really care. my hair got all messed up but thats only my own fault. shouldnt have layed my head down and gone to sleep in class. no rude remards or slaps in the face. just time like another seminar period. i hate it. hope he takes a long time to finish because im not quite ready to go on yet. suprised with myself that i would wear bright orange and green to school. liking the fact that im still the same, scared by the fact that im not changing. stupid people always crowd around me like i dont know who they are. like i cant smell them, but i used to be able to, one of the worst experiences ever. some independant walks in the room and sits right behind me. seen him once before just not familiar. watch people make absurd noises at what the teacher has to say, shes always like that, more than a little off, ready to go in for the kill. you like to live on the even level of the edge. and someone is right around the corner making hissing noises. apples arent tied to trees and im tired of pretending to be something im not, but i also cam not the most sure how to stop. i am almost too used to it. call out my name but it didnt end up being mine. instead of the madness just silence. almost nothing worse than that. two people hating without knowing. exchanging dirty looks of wanting to kill. on my part i dont want to all the time. looking at me everytime he laughs makes me nervous so bothersome the time wont go by anymore. at least hes moving away from me whchi makes me happy. fufills something. though hes hot, he doesnt have a soul thats something i will never be able to give him. trying to teach little white boys andother language just isnt working out here. does sometimes but not. only six minutes gone be and 28 left to go. thats enough to drive me away from myself. you can more than dish it out, but when it comes time to take it youre all broken down. id hate to think that i ruined you, but you already destroyed my soul let me stay out of all the mess and close my eyes walking around with ears open is like telling me im blind, its another lie. just another one that you are feeding me out of many. something else i was supposed to do and didnt, that same old girly colored notebook that he always carrieds around. im tired of screaming in the silence and standing where no one can see me. dont hey me (if you are) i will be the first not to listen. maybe because i dont care, maybe because i can tell because they roll their eyes and tell you to shut up. SHUTUP! well...there are more but i am tired of typing, take care and have anice day - -samantha ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 9 Oct 2000 20:50:37 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: (no subject) i filter through the lines on the wall, but i have yet to see whats really going to happen. Ready for the brainwash, ready for the drugs. Lie about the future not worrying what the past is going to be about. Live now, live forever..stuck inbetween you and I but you know I would choose you over me anyday. Myself being the one thats not worth it. Roll where you arent supposed to be and let the mystery be unknown. Dont tilt your head, dont show it. Just because youre scared doesnt mean I will always stand behind you. Sometimes in the dark I cry too. These tears are saltier than any others youve ever tasted. Watch the people ponder their decision. Dont care what they are thinking as long as they leave me out of it. Always leave me out of it. Sitting in this place and leading a life I dont want to lead happens sometimes. I try to smile but it doesnt come easily for me. Used to be in my nature but isnt anymore. the hollow space in my head is filling up the lines on my page. But its not good enough. is it ever good enough? someone waved at me when he was with his friend, for once I didnt hesitate. For once I didnt act cold. You can still ask me a favor and I might do it but I wont make you any promises in life. I can just hope that things work out the way you would like them too. Maybe once a day ill think of you and pray for you. Cant tell for sure. Now Im sure the side of my face is red but oh well at least I know was. Wasnt on purpose but wasnt exactly on accident. Just the think of thing that happens once in awhile. He has to read his little note over and over so hes sure he knows what it says. Folds it back up and puts it in his little pockets where he keeps things like that. You can rest your head but you should really stop falling asleep in class. Isnt a good impression to present to whomever. IM tired of the damn dirty look give and some of the foul words that are said. shouldnt be said, shouldnt be repeated. shouldnt send you my things because theres the fear. You could rip me off and tear me apart all over again. This one woman army isnt prepared for that; the one batter, Id lose. Im ready to go, ready to slam the stapler on the desk, but not ready to end it all. so the time goes by some strang things enter my mind and I get bothered by them, but I dont fear them. Fear is supposedly only a 4 letter word, but I experience it besides that, Im scared constantly. Come to check your test and leave because you can. ohh, pretty funky shit on a calculator with an ugly ass shirt tat shows nothing but your bra straps. next time keep them to yourself because I dont want to see them. NEVER EVER again. Ride your skateboard over here and take me away, save me from this. Im becoming to far and I dont want to deal with this myself anymore... ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #347 **********************************