From: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org (eda-thoughts-digest) To: eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Subject: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #345 Reply-To: eda-thoughts@smoe.org Sender: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-eda-thoughts-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk eda-thoughts-digest Sunday, October 8 2000 Volume 03 : Number 345 * If you ever wish to unsubscribe, send an email to * eda-thoughts-digest-request@smoe.org with ONLY * the word unsubscribe in the body of the email * . * PLEASE :) when you reply to this digest to send a post TO the list, * change the subject to reflect what your post is about. A subject * of Re: eda-thoughts-digest V3 #xxx or the like gives readers no clue * as to what your message is about. Today's Subjects: ----------------- ET: poem ["*~*~* Claudia *~*~*" ] ET: Thank you Mike :) Re: Claudia - Re: help please! ["*~*~* Claudia *~*~] ET: to all of ya... [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ET: (no subject) [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ET: thinking. [Naomi ] ET: thinking. [Naomi ] ET: something to someone...maybe i shouldnt share, but im not "coping" anymore [DrkShadws85] ET: SwAnDiVe... [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ET: ~harbour-thoughts~ [shivergirl ] ET: (no subject) [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ET: dont know who wrote this but i like it a lot [DrkShadws85@aol.com] ET: [GuMmIbEaRs ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 7 Oct 2000 12:08:35 +0200 From: "*~*~* Claudia *~*~*" Subject: ET: poem It's that feeling of belonging to each other that makes you realize there's something perfect and incomprehensible beyond our flesh. Your past becomes a faded face in the crowd because your present is so lovely, your future so grand. A laughter answers all your questions, a kiss heals all your wounds. And no matter how high the top is, you know you can reach it. No matter how hard you have to fight, you know you will win because you know you can't live withouth that one precious thing that makes your life worth living: Love. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.~ - - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Oct 2000 12:11:55 +0200 From: "*~*~* Claudia *~*~*" Subject: ET: Thank you Mike :) Re: Claudia - Re: help please! Thank you so much Mike! I did what you told me to do and it worked! Thanks again! Your help has been very precious! Have a great weekend! hugs Claudia Subject: ET: thinking. what are the differences between making love, having sex, and fucking? don't kill me for asking. it's a curiousity question brought on from a movie i watched last night ("girl"). love, naomi. ===== "What is Desire? Desire is... complicated. One person always wants the other person more." -VS __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Photos - 35mm Quality Prints, Now Get 15 Free! http://photos.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Oct 2000 11:06:16 -0700 (PDT) From: Naomi Subject: ET: thinking. what are the differences between making love, having sex, and fucking? don't kill me for asking. it's a curiousity question brought on from a movie i watched last night ("girl"). love, naomi. ===== "What is Desire? Desire is... complicated. One person always wants the other person more." -VS __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Photos - 35mm Quality Prints, Now Get 15 Free! http://photos.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Oct 2000 18:20:36 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: something to someone...maybe i shouldnt share, but im not "coping" anymore hey, sorry that I write you so much, but I kinda wanted to talk to someone and you are really the only one who listens to me and gives advice or whatever you wanna call it that I can understand and actually use. Well, you know how i was finally feeling good for awhile, thats all gone away. it doesnt matter what i do with myself or how i act or whatever, im starting to feel really glum again. and i did something that i really shouldnt have the other day (yesterday actually) and i am very ashamed of myself and NEVER EVER wanted to do something like that. and i never will again. but i cant get this feeling of insignificance to go away. I cant ever say anything good about myself, because I believe or feel that there isnt any there to be talked about. i dont know why im like this. yes, i had a bad childhood,and yes i havent had an easy life, but why cant i let any of this go? why cant i get over the things that are haunting me. i know that no one but my real friends can even tell that theres something different about me, and no one really cares except them either. my family would never know because i dont show any emotion around them, i know its stupid of me to say, but i dont think its any of their business and to frankly honest, they dont give a crap either. they are all pretty happy people and they dont know what its like to feel down all the time. as it is, even in life they offer me little support, they arent the kind of people that i would ever turn to for this kind of thing. its kinda hard to explain. and i know that i shouldnt come to you everytime that i have a problem or something, but you are one of the only ones that i can talk to. its like with some other people that i thought were my good friends, they just get offline or whatever when i try to get them to help me out, i know they arent worth it then, but its like i cant just give them up that easily. the people i am close to i cherish and really never let go of in my heart. but having someone in my heart isnt always enough. i get tired of just wanting things and never achieving them, knowing/thinking that all i am going to be in this life is a failure. i have nightmares all the time..almost every night. and they are about little things that wouldnt scare a lot of people, but they bring back bad memories, times of abuse, situations ive been through. nothing heals my soul anymore. and i just wish something would. someone cant live their life this unhappily forever, and i dont know how to stop it this time. please help..im afraid i cant do this anymore.. - -sam ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Oct 2000 18:31:09 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: SwAnDiVe... Swandive..by: ani difranco cradling the softest, warmest part of you in my hand feels like a little baby bird fallen from the nest i think that your body is something i understand i think that i'm happy, i think that i'm blessed i've got a lack of inhibition i've got a loss of perspective i've had a little bit to drink and it's making me think that i can jump ship and swim that the ocean will hold me that there's got to be more than this boat i'm in 'cuz they can call me crazy if i fail all the chance that i need is one-in-a-million and they can call me brilliant if i succeed gravity is nothing to me, moving at the speed of sound i'm just going to get my feet wet until i drown and i teeter between tired and really, really tired im wiped and im wired but i guess its just as well because i built my own empire out of car tires and chicken wire and i'm queen of my own compost heap and i'm getting used to the smell and i've got a lack of information but i got a little revelation and i'm climbing up on the railing trying not to look down i'm going to do my best swan dive in the shark-infested waters i'm gonna pull out my tampon and start splashing around 'cuz i don't care if they eat me alive i've got better thing to do than survive i've got a memory of your warm skin in my hand and i've got a vision of blue sky and dry land i'm cradling the hardest, heaviest part of me in my hand the ship is pitching and heaving, my limbs are bobbing and weaving and i think this is what i understand i just need a little vaccination for my far-away vacation i'm going to go ahead boldly because a little bird told me that jumping is easy, that falling is fun up until you hit the sidewalk, shivering, stunned and they can call me crazy if i fail all the chance that i need is one-in-a-million and they can call me brilliant if i succeed gravity is nothing to me moving at the speed of sound i'm just gonna get my feet wet until i drown... ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 07 Oct 2000 21:40:53 -0400 From: shivergirl Subject: ET: ~harbour-thoughts~ + writing about it my alarm is set going off in words blowing me up with silence as i wake up the language pushes through it naming a mountain after him keeping a rose under glass to keep watch a representation of beauty romanticized beyond recognition i have been guilty of this nostalgia + the hurts i have accumulated seem to have doubled upon sober reflection like a mental deficit i keep adding to to take away the loss as if harbour-thoughts made into word-boats will lessen the heaviness of the sea + she says no one can touch her now in the mirror of self-opinion it is only her sister that still has the ability to get to her because she is closest to her thoughts what is she is already thinking just not saying and my mother agrees with this philosophy she is a fighter, a long-forgotten lover of magic, too and i don't have enough crow's feet to combat the ridicule of others' insults yet the longing for deflecting myself is still predominantly strong across the synapse where i'd rather be doing anything else but getting my feet wet in this world of daily losses to excruciatingly beautiful growth makes me know how hidden stars must feel behind the moon far too weary already of blinking in the dark for strangers every night, whether they choose to look up, or not + ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Oct 2000 22:44:44 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: (no subject) i try to hold on to you and you push me away i cry and you dont wipe away my tears you stopped loving me and i regreted my life more than i ever have before i stopped seeing anything i used to starting living in the shadows youre always different when youre going out with that one girl always more blah but i cant say who she is cant tell myself anything im falling into my hole and not prepared to get up anytime soon i wanna disppear ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Oct 2000 23:28:21 EDT From: DrkShadws85@aol.com Subject: ET: dont know who wrote this but i like it a lot The Ineffable* I die strangely-Life does not kill me, Death does not kill me, Love does not kill me; I die of a thought that is mute as a wound Have you never felt the strange aching of a thought; huge roots eating your flesh and soul without flowering? Never held a dormant star inside that consumed you whole without giving off light? True martyrdom: to bear this seed, its arid rage eternally fixed within you like a fierce tooth. But ah! to pull it up one day in flower would be as great as to have the head of God between your hands. Author Unknown ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 7 Oct 2000 20:46:35 -0700 (PDT) From: GuMmIbEaRs Subject: ET: i wonder each day do you? or is that just a fake smile? what you said to me, do you still mean it or was it just in the moment? i see you everday and it is always the same thing i see you you look up our eyes meet u nod or say sup you either smile or you say hey hol i imagine evryday how it would be if we were ever a "thing" i would have some one to hold me call in the middle of the night when i want to talk but then i think wait what are you talking about look at yourself you dont have pretty blonde hair a size 6 body or a popularity to match..... yet you told me that i was unquice never to change and that i was smart.... so do you????? ===== "-Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart." -Rose Walker __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Photos - 35mm Quality Prints, Now Get 15 Free! http://photos.yahoo.com/ ------------------------------ End of eda-thoughts-digest V3 #345 **********************************